7 Ways to Become a Positive Person

As is often the case on the Internet, you can find the best ways to offer service to your visitors by simply going through the list of keywords that people have used to find your site, and that is the case here today.

Recently someone found the Today is that Day website (specifically this post) by searching MSN for the phrase “what will make me positive”.

Well, the short answer to that question is that no person or set of circumstances can make someone else positive. Positivity is something that comes from the inside, and it is up to us as individuals to decide the level of influence that outside factors will have on our own attitude.

However, there are certain things that you can do which will keep you on the right track, so to our new visitor (and everyone else), here is a list of 7 ways to become a positive person. Enjoy!

1)  Mind your feelings, Luke!

One of the hardest things about keeping a positive attitude (or about self improvement in general), is remembering to constantly focus on the desired end result.

Life throws lots of negativity at us and it can sometimes get to the point where lashing out against the onslaught is nothing less than self defense. However, if you create a negative state of mind by reacting in a less than positive manner – no matter how justified that reaction may be – you will still have created that negative state of mind.

If you need to, bust out your Jedi mind control and get those emotions under control, lest they control you!

2) Take out the Trash

As you learn more and more about having a positive attitude, it may become easier to take on the belief that the higher you get, the more you can look down on others. Don’t do that.

However, no matter how open-minded and understanding you manage to become – even in the face of adversity – there will always be people who regularly insist on bringing negativity into your life. Get rid of them.

Yes, yes, I know. You can’t get rid of your family members, you can’t fire you co-workers, blah, blah, blah. No, you may not be able to completely get rid of them, but you can limit your interaction with them, and you can tell them to take a hike when they are being negative.

What’s the worst that could happen? Some negative family member or annoying co-worker stops talking to you?? Don’t be afraid to tell negative people to get out of your bubble!

3) Reach for the Golden Nuggets

Okay, so what about those situations where there is negative energy, and you just can’t get away? Look for the good!

There is some positive aspect to even the most mind-numbing situations, and by finding that silver lining, you can turn a perceived bad set of circumstances into something that works towards your own interests.

Having trouble figuring out how to be happy about obnoxious teenagers, what is good about your jerk of a boss, or what possible positive outcome could happen as a result of your car breaking down?

Each of these things gives us contrast. They teach us how to behave (or not behave), they teach us to be better prepared, or they simply teach us to enjoy the times in our lives when those circumstances are not present.

Would you really know how to appreciate a roaring fire and a cup of hot cocoa if you had never come close to freezing to death after walking a mile in the snow after your car broke down?

4) Plan your good Samaritan Effort

Every day, plan to do something completely selfless. No, it can’t be something that looks selfless, but is actually all about you. It has to be something that you do for someone else, and you expect absolutely nothing in return.

This act doesn’t have to be some major undertaking, either. Do a chore around the house that you normally wouldn’t do. Bring your co-worker a cup of their favorite beverage from the coffee shop. Buy someone lunch. Help an elderly person load their groceries into their car.

Do something like that every day. In fact, plan it out in advance, so that you are sure to get it done. Can’t see what helping other people has to do with becoming a positive person?

Try it every day for a week and then come back and post a comment on this blog about how great you feel!

5) Plaster a Smile On

When all else fails, smile like you mean it – even if you don’t! Human beings are naturally social creatures, and even if we are in the foulest of moods, by interacting with other people in a positive manner, we start the slow or even sudden climb to feeling more positive.

Whenever I workout at the gym, I have zero interest in talking to other people. I am there to workout, I am very focused, and I would prefer not to be disturbed.

However, when someone motions for me to help them with something, and I begrudgingly take off my headphones so I can hear what they are saying, something miraculous happens:

I help them, or answer their question, and then I feel better afterwards! Even if I just wrap my headphones back around my head and go back to working out in my undisturbed manner, I always feel better for having interacted with and assisted another person.

6) Mainline the Good Stuff

Experience positive and uplifting circumstances throughout each day. It’s just not possible to run around in a negative mood all the time if you consistently experience and appreciate things that you consider to be positive.

Everyone has their own definition of what is positive for them, but here is a brief list of things that you can experience frequently throughout each day:

  • Affirmations – No, not affirmations that you say (although those are great, too), but rather affirmations that you see. Put uplifting messages on your computer wallpaper or around your office, set up your email program to send you affirmations at certain times each day, use your cell phone or PDA to send yourself positive messages and reminders at preselected intervals.
  • Audio content – Listen to empowering audio while you are driving, on your computer, or on your portable music player when you are working out. Again, by constantly inputting positive information, it just won’t be possible to maintain a negative state of mind.
  • Look around – Everyone has things in their immediate surroundings at any given time that they can be grateful for. However, if you don’t take the time to consciously appreciate those things, you will get into the habit of just taking them for granted. Every few hours just stop what you are doing, and for 5 minutes just look around wherever you are and appreciate things that you normally just take for granted.

7) Remember why you Care

And last, but hardly least, remind yourself several times per day (or several dozen!) that you want to have a positive outlook on life, and remind yourself about why you even care.

You can use exercises like those mentioned above all day long, but if you don’t have a true desire to actually have a positive attitude, then these types of activities won’t do you much good. If you choose to live your life as a positive person, then you must have some reason for choosing that path.

Each time a potentially negative influence crosses your path, remind yourself of your reason for wanting to be a positive person. Your desire to be positive will outweigh your desire to have a negative reaction to the outside stimulus, and after awhile this entire process will become second nature.

Dan and Jennifer are the Founders and Senior Editors of Ask Dan & Jennifer, which has been called "the best and most popular Love and Sex advice column on the Internet today". Their videos are some of the most popular videos on YouTube. You should Fan Dan & Jennifer on Facebook and Follow them on Twitter!

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  • onthemend
    i am currently dealing with a VERY difficult mother in law and your web site has opened a major door for me ..... i will try everyday to be positive and to look for the good ........ i will give this a try and post in a week my experience....thanks in advance!!!!!!!
  • that's great, so happy to hear it!

    one tip: note and appreciate every little improvement, everything that goes well. we tend to be very hard on ourselves, i.e. we want to see the whole problem solved really fast or we say it's not working... when in truth most people give up when they're 75% or more there.

    most importantly, have faith that it can be done. what you believe (good or bad) is how it's likely to go, most every time.
  • Lyman,

    I don't know what I enjoyed more - writing this article, or the incredibly positive comments that I've gotten since I did it! :)

    Very glad you liked it, and I'm happy to send the link love. You have built up an awesome collection of free content over there on your site, and I want to highly encourage people to take advantage of it!
  • It's articles like these that make this blog one of my favorite reads, Aaron. Like Mike said all the waaaay up there, I can't see going through this list and not having a shift toward positivity.

    And thanks for that juicy keyword link as well! Sweet... :)
  • Thanks, Sully!

    I appreciate the positive feedback, and I'm definitely a big fan of following your heart. That's where the fun is! :)
  • Nice one! Lots of similar ideas as in my favorite book by Andrew Matthews: "Follow Your Heart."
  • BB,

    Much obliged for the return visit and thanks for adding some quality advice to the list!

    As much as our past is a part of who we are, once it's done, it's done. Learn from it, but then leave it there!

    And forgiveness is definitely an internal thing, and whether it is directed towards ourselves or to others, getting clear of negativity through forgiveness falls right in line with leaving the past where it belongs.

    Awesome stuff - thanks again for sharing!
  • Bob,

    Welcome - very glad to have you here! I do my best to keep the inspirational content flowing, so look for more in the future, and thanks for the visit!
  • #8 Leave the Past in the Past.

    #9 Forgive Others including Yourself.

    That's good advice for all of us. Thanks for dropping by the other day.

    Cheers!

    ...BB
  • Bob
    This is my first visit to your blog and I like what I see! Thank you for such inspirational content!
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