Free Lifestyle Question and Answer Program
Answers to previously submitted Questions
I want out of my marriage. It's been a long time coming, years really. I don't want to stay, I want to be happy again, and won't be as long as I stay. He still loves me. I could stay for him and keep coasting along not being happy. Am I just being selfish to want to be happy if it means splitting the family? And shouldn't I just stick it out etc? I really don't know how to handle this - what is the right thing to do? (we have been together 17 years) I don't know how to find the answers I need.
Annabelle
LM, Canada
Answer: Annabelle,
First of all, let me disclaim my answer by saying that I am not a marriage or relationship counselor, and I strongly urge you to seek the assistance of a professional advisor before making any final decisions or taking any drastic action. Now, that being said, I do have some things for you to think about that may help you to decide on a course of action.
During our entire lives we are put into positions where we are dealing with other people. Sometimes we are put into those positions voluntarily - as with marriage - and sometimes we are forced into those positions by circumstances such as our job or other similar situation.
It is in our very nature to try to please other people. In fact, although most people don't realize it, whenever we voluntarily please other people, we get a return on that effort that is usually greater than the effort that we originally put forth.
By giving to others, we then receive what we want, and acts of Gratitude for the things that we have in life will normally demonstrate this fact time and time again. For more info, see the article and the blog post that I wrote about Gratitude.
As we begin to instinctively realize that by making others happy that we also become happy, the habit becomes an integral part of our very existence. It is so ingrained in us, in fact, that sometimes we forget that we have to take care of ourselves as well as tending to the needs of others.
This is a frequent issue in marriage, especially when there are children involved. One or both of the parents are uncertain about the marriage, but for the sake of their spouse and/or the children, they try to stick it out, thus doing what has become known as "cutting yourself off from your source".
The energy that the entire Universe is made of is the same energy that people are made of - there is no difference. The form that the energy takes is different, but the energy itself is the same. When we are in perfect harmonious balance, we are in perfect unison with that source energy, and happiness abounds in our lives.
Our job here on earth is to experience wonderful things and to enjoy all of the things that this physical existence has to offer. When we start to cease enjoying our time here, that is when we start to cut ourselves off from the source energy, and our lives begin to be something other than what we want them to be.
In the case of staying in a relationship that someone does not truly want to be in, that person is most assuredly putting up a wall between themselves and their source energy. Their happiness, sense of purpose, and overall well-being all start to suffer as a result.
The question of whether or not to stay in a relationship that you do not want to be in is the same as questioning what you want to do for a living, or whether or not you want to go skydiving, or whether or not you want to lounge on the beach on a beautiful summer day.
The question itself is completely irrelevant. All that matters is whether or not you truly WANT to do something.
So, the answer to whether or not you should do things that are going to please others is very simple. The answer is a question that you ask yourself:
Will it please you?
Seek as much or as little guidance as you wish in order to answer the question of what YOU truly want to do, Annabelle.
Once you have made that decision, then the answer will be before you.
Hope that helps, and be well.
For more questions about positive thinking, health, self improvement, or the Law of Attraction, please return to the Questions page, check out some other requests, and feel free to submit your own question!
About the Author
Aaron Potts is the owner and the creator of the Today is that Day website. His message to the world: "YOU are in charge, and don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise!" If you found this information useful, check out his eBook 'How to Invoke the Law of Attraction', or click below to make a small donation to help Aaron continue to provide powerful, informative, and useful content so you can enjoy your life to the fullest!
resource for you to learn how to improve and empower your life!
