I want, I want, I want! It's the battle cry of the ages, yet people still fail to realize that getting what they want is just a pittance compared to continually taking action once they get it.

You don't need to look any further than the almost universal desire that people have for more money in order to see this concept in action. People jump through all manner of hoops in order to gain financial freedom, but even if they had a mountain of money in front of them, if they didn't do anything with it, then it would just be a useless pile of paper.

Photo Credit: Txt2Pic.comIt is not what we GET in life that matters, because life is handing us new opportunities every single day. Rather, it is what we DO with those opportunities that will ensure not only our long-term success, but our day-to-day happiness as well.

The Dream Job

Every person has their own rendition of what their "dream job" is, so what would you do if you actually attained it?

• Would you just show up for work every day, but not do any actual work?
• Would you stop working towards future success and advancements?
• Would you ignore opportunities to demonstrate the skills or experience that you used to get the job to begin with?

A "dream job" without a corresponding effort on your part to show that you are worthy of that job is nothing more than an opportunity for you to end up standing in the soup line.

The Dream Body

Yep, we've all pictured it in our heads at one time or another, right? Those firm muscles, tight curves, and sculpted features are things that most people give thought to, and for some people, it is an on-going quest that lasts for decades. What would you do if you got your "dream body," though?

• Would you start eating junk food like it was going out of style?
• Would you stop exercising effectively and on a very consistent basis?
• Would you pick up every unhealthy habit that you could get your hands on?

A "dream body" is made up of both the mental and the physical work that it takes to get that body to begin with. If you stop doing that work, then your "dream body" will once again become nothing but a far off goal that you can't quite get your hands on.

The Dream Relationship

Who hasn't dreamed of their "soul mate" at one time or another, or at least dreamed of the guy or girl that would keep them satisfied on an emotional or physical level? That "dream relationship," however, is not something that can be won, but then just ignored.

• If you are a certain person in the beginning of a happy relationship, do you honestly think that relationship will stay happy if you start acting like a different person?
• If you have certain goals or dreams that are shared by your significant other, but your goals or dreams change, is it your significant other's fault when the relationship starts to crumble?
• If you are a family man or woman, but suddenly you decide to recapture your college glory days of keg parties and panty raids, do you honestly think that is going to fly?

A relationship - by definition - is made up of 2 people harmoniously sharing their life experiences. If one person changes drastically from how they were in the beginning of the relationship, the possibility that the other person will change enough to balance things out is minimal at best.

The moral of the story here is that the attainment of success - no matter how thrilling - is simply a moment in time when you realize that you have won. After that moment has passed, it is time for you to step up to the plate and consistently prove that you are worthy of that success.

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Have you ever heard that phrase "The more things change, the more they stay the same"? What a bunch of crap! There are 2 main reasons why phrases like that exist, and neither one holds water.

The truth of the matter is that in order for change to occur - on both an individual scale, as well as a global scale - holding on to the way things "used to be" is a recipe for nothing but a modern-day remake of the same mistakes that we have already made in our lives, and on our planet.

Photo Credit: KadhaIf we want true, lasting change to occur, then we must realize that change means change, it does not mean wrapping the old life up in a new package and then presenting it again as if it's all new. It's like that ridiculous advertising slogan "New and Improved". Something can't be new AND improved - it has to be one or the other!

Nostalgia for Days gone By

One of the biggest reasons why people cling to their old patterns despite an innate need to move forward is nothing more complex than that wonderful emotion of nostalgia.

Our lives, no matter how hectic or chaotic they may be, are filled with "sweet spots" that are permanently ingrained in our memories and on our hearts. We remember "back when," or "that time when," or "how it used to be".

Those memories and the emotions that they invoke are wonderful, and to forget or bury them would be nothing less than criminal. However, living from them is just as much of a crime! Your glory days from the past are just that - in the past. No matter how wonderful those days were, they are gone now, and you need to come to terms with that.

You should cherish your past, and learn from your past, and apply what your past has taught you, but your life will never move forward if you are hooked on "the good ol' days". Recognize your past for its positive aspects, utilize the contrast from the negative aspects as a marker for what to avoid in the future, and then let it all go.

Your past - no matter how powerful it may be - is gone. An exponentially more powerful and more glorious future, on the other hand, is nothing but a thought and a commitment away. 

A Comfort Zone that needs to be Broken out Of

The other main reason why people tend to color their futures with the hues of their past is simply the fact that they are used to doing things that way.

I'm not talking about the standard self improvement dogma about getting outside of your comfort zone - we've all heard that one a thousand times. No, I am talking about the fact that people simply don't do what it takes to create and maintain new habits that cause their lives to be significantly different than they have been in the past.

Each of us is guilty of it on some level or other, but we don't realize our guilt because we are so used to doing things that way that it feels natural to us. Just because something feels natural does NOT mean that it should be a part of your life!

When I was a kid, I lived one quarter mile from a very busy set of railroad tracks. Those trains were very loud, and they came through many, many times every day and every night. After a few years, though, I stopped hearing them. They became such a natural background noise that I didn't even consciously hear them anymore.

Just because I got used to living close to the train tracks does not mean that I would want to live there again!

Our ability to get used to something - even something challenging or difficult - does not automatically mean that we should make that thing a part of our lives. If our habits - no matter how steeped in antiquity they may be - do not take our lives in the direction that we want to go, then those habits need to fall by the wayside.

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I have used the term "if nothing changes, then nothing changes" in so many of my writings that I have literally lost count. I don't keep repeating it because it sounds cool, but rather because it is the truth of our existence.

The more things change, the more they stay the same? I call B.S.!! The more things change, the more they NEED to change.

Anything less is just a carbon copy that is getting more and more faded the more times you copy it.

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Did you ever feel like you should just chuck it all and start all over again? There is certainly something to be said for a fresh start, but if you decide to take that step, make sure that you do it right this time!

Now, I would never recommend that someone just “give up” – far from it. However, there is something to be said for reevaluating any given situation and deciding that starting from scratch – now armed with new knowledge and experience – is simply a more effective or enjoyable use of your time.

In my recent move to the beach, there were many “must haves” that were part of the process, and by checking out the following examples, you can get an idea of how to make a fresh start in your own life, if and when the time comes to do so.

1) Decide what you want AND what you don’t want

Knowing what you want is only half the battle, because it is very easy to miss critical details if you don’t also consider what you don’t want your new life to include.

The primary goal when I moved was to get close to the beach - close being defined as walking distance. The initial search for a place was very fruitful, and there were more places to look at than there was time to do so. By the end of a full day spent looking at properties on Florida's Space Coast, it seemed that the biggest hurdle was going to be deciding which one was the best!

However, as the details were discussed and properties started being weeded out for various reasons, it became very clear that the north/south location of the house was a bigger factor than originally realized. By putting both a northern and a southern "line in the sand" on the map, the search for a house instantly became much more productive because the desired area had now been so clearly defined. The initial search spanned almost 20 miles of coastline, while the updated search encompassed only about 6 miles.

The perfect beach side home was not found until the realization was made that there were northern and southern boundaries that I did NOT want to cross. That focus fueled the remainder of the search, and it was less than a week after making that realization that a lease was signed on the new home.

2) Define just what it is that you’ll be doing with your new life

It’s easy to say things like “I want a great relationship,” or “I want more money, “ or “I want to lose weight”. However, those types of vague assertions about what you want will only focus vague energies on the process of actually attaining them.

In my case, part of the plan when moving to the beach was to start a new fitness related business based in a coastal community. After spending 3 years as a personal trainer – and then voluntarily walking away from that life – I had to ask myself how this was going to be any different than the last time. What type of business was I going to build that would have all of the joys and benefits of the fitness lifestyle, but without the drawbacks that caused me to back away from that path before?

The answer – I am ecstatically proud to reveal – came in the form of Surfside Fitness and the absolutely magical work of my graphic and web designer, Jason LaRose. I defined the business model and Jason brought it all to life with incredible skill, professionalism, and vision. I don’t know what I was more excited about – the detailed business model that I came up with, or how well Jason brought it all to full-color life.

Click my beautiful Surfside Fitness logo to check out the splash page of the site, and while you’re clicking, be sure to visit Jason’s site and hire him to bring his magic into your world as well.

3) Realize the contrast between your new life and the old life

The age-old definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, yet expecting a different result. If you don’t do things differently than you did before, then you haven’t recreated anything – you’ve just copied and pasted.

How are YOU going to be different in your new life? It’s not just about picturing yourself with all of the joys and trappings of the new life that you want to create, because that is just putting the same habits and lifestyle choices that you have now into a world that looks a bit different. If YOU aren’t different, then your new life will not be any different than the old life.

In my situation, it was a matter of getting back into the “public eye”. I have done the majority of the writing that I have done at Today is that Day for almost 2 years while living a comparably secluded lifestyle. I have worked from home or at local coffee shops for the majority of the time, and a business like Surfside Fitness cannot be run from a coffee shop!

My contrast will be going from a life of almost seclusion to a life of being out in public almost every day. The last time I lived that lifestyle I was well on my way to attaining a 6-figure income…

4) Check your old habits at the door

A conscious decision like the one discussed above to be a different person is all well and good, but what about those nasty habits that will be leftover from your previous lifestyle? Any habits that take you away from the dream life that you are building need to be kicked to the curb.

In my case, it is electronic communication. I’ll admit it now in front of all the world that I am an Internet junkie! I send an email when I should call someone. I go to Google when I could just pick up the yellow pages or call information. I send text messages or leave comments instead of just having real-time communication.

Yep, I’m hooked! However, now that I am the figurehead and the primary trainer for a brand-new, ultra-cool fitness company, I’ll need to give my keyboard something of a break. The Internet and my blogs will always be a part of both my business and my personal life, but as the owner of a “real world” company, I need to kick the electronic habit and start communicating with people more often in real world ways.

5) Make a serious commitment to yourself

In today’s day and age, starting a “business” can be as quick and easy as putting together a website, and that level of ease also brings with it the danger of not taking things as seriously as we sometimes should.

Life is meant to be enjoyed and - as a general rule - should not be taken too seriously. However, at the same time, if long-term success or happiness is the goal, then something more than just a token effort will probably need to be applied.

My example of this is with regard to my own level of health and fitness. If I am going to teach and lead others to fitness success, then I have to be in great shape myself. As regular readers know, I started the P90X home fitness program 3 months ago, and stuck with it through the duration - right up until the last week and half that is! 

The P90X program is a 90-day system, which ends up being a total of 13 weeks of training. Mid-way through week 12, I simply ran out of time. Between packing, moving, painting my old house, unpacking at the new house, and fixing some things that needed to be fixed there, I simply ran out of daylight every day. I was up at 6:00am, out the door by around 7:00am, and not home again until late that night, and then I repeated that sequence every day. There was simply no time available to exercise for an hour each day, so I had a tough decision to make.

Do I "give up" on P90X and just say that I ALMOST finished the program? Do I "pad" the truth and say that I finished it, even though I only made it through 11 1/2 weeks?

Well, I am not the type to lie or to even stretch the truth, nor am I the type to "almost" finish something. So, I did the next best thing:

I committed to start all over again!

Yup, I'm insane like that. Well, at least that's how it seems, but the truth of the matter is that I am not crazy, I am just committed to my career and to leading by example. That type of commitment takes serious will power, but it also leads to serious success.

The key thing to remember here is that a new life requires CHANGE. You can't hold onto a previous life if you want to build a new life. I've said it many times before, and I'll probable say it many times more:

If nothing changes, then nothing changes! 

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The term "I love it when a plan comes together" does not quite cover how successful I have been in my recent efforts, and the system that I used can be 100% duplicated by ANYONE looking for success!

Back on June 16, 2008 I wrote the post The Winds of Change will sometimes Ruffle your Sails, and in that post I made the public commitment that I would find a way to move to the east coast of Florida within 60 days in order to start a new business. We signed the lease on our beach-side condo 32 days later!

Photo Credit: Robert RussellWe did not pull off such an impressive accomplishment by just sitting around hoping that it would happen, however. There were tangible, "real world" factors that went into our success, and there were intangible, impossible to predict factors as well. The point of this post is for you to realize that success does not come from sitting around wishing for it, but neither does it only come from working hard.

Success is most often a potent combination of your own efforts, as well as factors that you couldn't possibly predict in advance.

Tangible Success Factors

As I indicated back in my original post when I stated my intention to move to the beach within 60 days, there were "real world" products and services that I offered up in order to make that happen. Despite my iron-clad belief that I would manifest whatever circumstances were necessary in order to achieve my goal, I still didn't just sit around waiting for the success wagon to pull up in front of my house. I went out there and chased the success wagon down!

I knew that coming up with additional funding was going to be critical to moving to a coastal area, and at the beginning of the journey (barely 1 month ago!), neither myself nor my girlfriend had any additional money outside of what our monthly bills were costing us.

So, rather than sitting around waiting for the success genie to drop a free ride into my lap, I actively went out and worked towards my goals:

• I offered products - My own electronic products from 2 years of personal development work continue to be a source of value for all who have purchased them, and I leveraged that in order to help facilitate this move.
• I offered services - Although I have no interest in a career as a blog developer, I do have skills with WordPress, so I offered those skills as a way to help other people out. 3 people took me up on it, to the tune of over $500 towards the cause. (Maija Karin Photography, Privateer Nation, Power Sharing)
• I offered discount memberships - My Personal Development Partners site continues to be a source of inspiration and networking for the members, and also a store house of a ton of great self improvement and personal development information. The lifetime membership option there was taken advantage of by 3 of the members of the site. (Gia, Dr. Hal, and Jeniffer Karas)
• I did manual labor - Just because I'm a computer whiz doesn't mean that I can't get out there and work my butt off. I helped people move, I pulled weeds, I planted trees - heck, I almost got sun stroke one day. I kept my goal in mind, however, and I didn't let a bit of back-breaking work frighten me away from my goal!
• I sold things from my past that were not going to serve my future - Like most people, I had a ton of crap that I was holding onto, but never using. None of those things had anything to do with the business or the life that I want on the coast, so I just sold them on Craigslist. Not only am I free and clear from those things that I associate with my past, but now we don't have to move them, either!

You should note 2 very important things about the list of activities that I engaged in to facilitate this move:

1. I did not stick to any "one" thing as the solution to coming up with more money. I kept my options open and I took action in many different directions at once.
2. I did not limit my options by "classifying" myself. I did everything from skilled technical work, to inspirational and empowering writing, to manual labor. Each and every one of those activities brought income to the equation.

Intangible Success Factors

Despite the success of the "real world" efforts that I listed above, the intangible efforts were just as important to my success. There were things that were part of my success that I could not possibly have foreseen, and that was the result of 3 radically important things that I did every single day during the manifestation of my desires:

1. I visualized what I wanted - Every morning, every night, and sometimes even during the day, I kept a picture in my mind of what I would see once I was living at the beach. Did it work? The condo that we signed a lease on is literally 300 steps from the sand. I could walk from my door to the sand with my eyes closed.
2. I kept a sense of expectation - There were plenty of times over the last month or so that doubt wanted to creep in, but I never let it get a foot hold. I kept the attitude every single day not that it MIGHT happen, but that it definitely WOULD happen.
3. I stayed focused on a specific goal - In the beginning, we actually had about a 20-mile stretch of beach that we were willing to live near as long as the house itself was close enough to the sand. After an entire day of looking at properties and making phone calls, however, we decided that it had to be either Cape Canaveral or Cocoa Beach, FL, which are collectively only about 8 miles of sand. Within 3 days of making the rock-solid decision that it had to be Cocoa or the Cape, we found our place 300 steps from the beach in Cape Canaveral.

Unforeseen Circumstances

My visualizing, my sense of expectation, and the laser-focus on exactly what I wanted brought things into the equation that I could not possibly have foreseen:

• Advertisers that I had never even heard of before purchased ad space here at Today is that Day and also at Fitness Destinations. That was all bonus money for the housing fund.
• Visitors to this site purchased affiliate products that have been advertised here for almost a year, yet had not had any new sales in many months. My commission on those sales went straight into the housing fund.
• Some very generous readers who are also fellow bloggers made donations to the cause, and they know who they are, so I will just take this opportunity to thank them again! Each of the people who donated are also paying members over at PDP, so their continued generosity was a welcome and unexpected gift.
• The person who owns the condo that we are moving into (thanks again, Renee!!) had the old tenant moving out the same day that we went to look at it, and she agreed that if we were willing to clean the place up, she wouldn't charge us a deposit. We signed the lease with nothing but the 1st month's rent. How often does THAT happen anymore???

There were numerous other "synchronicities" that came into play as far as people helping us out, giving us guidance, or helping to keep us on track, and that in itself could be an entire wonderful story. I'll stop there, because by now you should get the point that the unforeseen circumstances were just as much a part of this success as the "real world" efforts that were made.

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The moral to this entire, joyous success story is that not only did I get what I wanted, but that I got it through a combination of both tangible and intangible success factors. If you have been putting all of your faith in one system or the other, why don't you try combining BOTH?

You might be shocked and amazed at the incredible results that you bring into your life!

By the way, if you are curious about the health and fitness business that is going to be one of the results of this success story, be sure to check out my profile over at Bob Doyle's 45-day Boundless Living Challenge. I'll be discussing the entire journey and all of the awesome business details over there!

p.s. - I need to go pack, paint, and do maintenance on the house that we are moving out of and renting, so I'll be "off the grid" for awhile. Look for the next post here at Today is that Day to be typed up from the beach! :)

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Unless you know EXACTLY what you want, you might as well just shoot yourself in the foot, because hobbling towards success is all you are going to be doing unless you get 100% clear on exactly what you want to accomplish or achieve.

It seems simplistic to say that in order to get what we want, we need to first know exactly what that is, yet defining the exact details of our desires is often not as easily done as we think. Without a proper understanding of the specifics of our desires, it is very easy to end up wasting time as well as mental capital focusing our attention in the wrong direction.

Photo Credit:  v floresThe missing piece to the success puzzle is not so much having the opportunities to achieve success, but rather first knowing exactly what it is that we want. It is critical to not only have a "general" idea of our desires, but to also plug in the very specific factors that need to be present - or absent - once the desired goal has been obtained.

It is very easy once we have decided to make lifestyle improvements to then get caught up in the excitement of those improvements, and not perform our "due diligence" in order to determine precisely what our success will look like. Without knowing exactly what success entails, we will:

• Lack the ability to track our progress to see if we are moving towards our goal
• Waste time focusing both physical and mental efforts on tasks that are not directly related to our specific goal. 

Some common examples include:

The person who decides to lose weight - What exactly does "lose weight" look like? If you don't know how much weight you want to lose, or what clothing size you are wanting to fit into, how will you know if you are making progress? How will you know which type of fitness program to get involved with? How will you even know when you have attained your goal?

The person who wants to become wealthy - Well, "wealthy" to a homeless person is a few clean outfits to wear, the occasional shower, and a consistently full belly. What exactly is wealthy to YOU? You need to define a very specific lifestyle that defines what wealthy means in your mind, so that you can both work towards that goal, as well as measure your progress along the way.

The person who wants a great relationship - Try to draw a great relationship on paper, and you'll see that illustrating such a vague concept is challenging at best. Is it a romantic relationship? What type of intimacy are you looking for? What type of companionship do you want? What things are you NOT willing to have in that relationship?

The above are just some general examples in order to give you an idea of what I'm talking about here, but this same concept can - and should - be applied to every area of your life where you are looking to make improvements.

Why is it important to define what you don't want in addition to the details about what you do? Simple: in order to keep from wasting time and energy on tasks, plans, or circumstances that are not in alignment with your preferred end result!

Visualization 

One of the most effective (and proven) ways to get what you want out of life is to practice visualization. In short, whenever you go somewhere enough times in your mind, you will eventually go there in the body as well.

If you use visualization in order to bring about positive changes in your life, how can you visualize effectively if you don't know exactly what those changes are? Moreover, what happens whenever you effectively visualize something, yet when it arrives, it isn't exactly what you wanted? You'll have to go right back to the visualization drawing board!

Productivity Practices

The idea behind productivity practices is to achieve some desired end result. Sometimes it is something specific like a project that you are working on, while at the same time productivity practices can be used to effectively work towards positive lifestyle changes.

How do you remain productively working toward a lifestyle goal if you don't know exactly what that goal is? How do you keep from wasting time on tasks that will not take you to your desired end result if you don't know precisely what that end result is?

Crunch Time

When it comes down to the wire and you are getting very close to the attainment of your goal, you will find yourself needing to make critical decisions about how to move forward.

• Am I at my goal body weight? If so, what's next?
• Have I attained "wealth" as I define it? If so, what do I do with it?
• Have I secured a wonderful relationship? If so, how do I keep it?
• Have I {insert any other life goal here}? If so, what are my next steps?

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How can you know how to move on to a new goal in your life if you can't even say for sure whether or not you attained the last one? What if you "sort of" got what you wanted, but sort of didn't at the same time?

Do you then just settle for whatever you got, or do you reassess and then decide how to move forward? Either way, you can't make that determination until you first determine whether or not you even attained your original goal.

All of these ideas about how to properly stay focused on success in order to then attain it share this common trait:

How do YOU define success? 

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