Negative "energy vampires" are not living a life full of happiness and success, yet they will happily drag you down to their level unless you escape their clutches before it is too late!

Use these 5 basic guidelines as an outline that will help to safeguard you from negativity, and will also help you to identify negative people so that you can remove yourself from their sphere of influence.

Once you have internalized not practicing the following unsuccessful habits, you will suddenly start noticing people in your life who consistently practice them on an almost daily basis.

 No Gossiping

It doesn't matter how justified you think you are in talking about other people's perceived shortcomings, doing so will never serve to bring about positive results.

When people do things that you don't agree with or that you don't understand, all that demonstrates is that they do not see life in the same way that you see it. It doesn't it make them a bad person, it just means that their understanding of any given situation is different than yours.

Granted, in many circumstances it may seem painfully obvious that someone could have handled a situation in a more positive manner. However, even if that is the case, rehashing the details with other people will only perpetuate the negativity.

In addition, many people thrive on discourse and chaos, so by participating in negative discussions about others, all you are doing is indirectly giving people permission to continue adding fuel to that fire. When you are seen as a "negative fuel source," you will invariably find that people will continue stopping by to get a fill-up!

No Whining or Complaining 

Let me ask you this: Does whining or complaining about any given situation actually do anyone any good whatsoever?

I'm not talking about constructive criticism, learning from our mistakes, or recognizing pitfalls so that we can avoid them in the future. No, I'm talking about when a situation is already clearly less than desirable, yet you continue to talk about how undesirable it is!

When the office thermostat is broken and it is cold as a deep-freeze in your building, will anything be gained by continuing to repeat the obvious? If your spouse or significant other is being (in your opinion) unreasonable, are you going to gain anything by constantly spouting off about how upset you are about the situation?

Complaining accomplishes absolutely nothing other than drawing attention to an already less than favorable set of circumstances. If something is worth complaining about, then it is also worth taking action on. Stop whining, and start taking action, because if you don't, all of the whiners and complainers will crowd around you in order to get their negativity fix. 

No Co-Dependency

All of us have friends, family members, or co-workers who bring real-world negative issues to us, and ask for our input. Sometimes they are looking for advice, while other times they just want to "vent".

In either case, however, pumping up their already negative point of view by agreeing how terrible any given situation is will only serve to cement in their minds how terrible that situation is! In addition, you will be sending them the clear signal that you are willing to be a sounding board for their complaints in the future.

Rather than rallying the forces of negativity in order to combat someone's issues, instead just provide for them a calming, reassuring voice of reason when their lives are in turmoil. Don't turn your back on them, but don't fuel their point of view that they are the "victim" either.

Instead, listen with a compassionate ear while keeping your own feelings in check. You will do them much more of a service by helping them to find a positive spin on their situation rather than becoming a participant in their negativity. 

No Cross Contamination 

It is impossible to swim in a river full of muddy water, yet still be able to get out of that river without a speck of dirt on you. The only way to avoid that dirt - or that negativity - is to refuse to take a dip into that river in the first place. 

From an emotional standpoint, it is not possible for you to participate in negativity, and then go back into your positive bubble without dragging some of that negativity in with you. 

Most people would say that it is not possible for them to completely avoid negativity, and I would tend to agree. However, just because you are physically present in a situation does not mean that you need to actually participate on an emotional level.

You can be involved in a discussion or in the resolution of a negative situation without allowing your own emotional set point to drop down to a less-than positive level. When life throws negativity at you, stay in the game, but practice equanimity in order to handle the situation without allowing the negative vibrations to affect you on an individual level. 

No Being "Holier than Thou" 

After finding all of these great ways to recognize and avoid negativity, it becomes very easy to think that you are somehow "different" than everyone else. You start to feel "enlightened" and you recognize how a large number of the people in your life are on planes, trains, and automobiles that are all headed in the wrong direction. 

Here's a clue: get a grip on yourself! You are no better, nor any worse than any of those people. Those people are neither better, nor any worse than you.

The only difference between the "enlightened" you and the people who practice negativity is that you see things from a different point of view than they do. It is not appropriate for you to try to force your way of thinking onto those people, and in most cases it is also quite impossible.

By running around life with an attitude that you are somehow better than other people, all you will do is serve to alienate most of the people around you. Then, before you know it, other "holier than thou" individuals will start to flock to your side. Then all you will have accomplished is serving to divide your circle of influence into people who live on the "right" or the "wrong" side of the tracks - from your point of view. 

Conclusion: 

By following guidelines similar to the methods that you just read, and by  practicing the fine art of being positive, you will begin to enjoy your life and consciously create it to be whatever it is that you want it to be.

That's the prize.

However, be advised that these success habits are just that - habits. Only practicing them when it is convenient for you to do so will only bring about positive results in small doses. Consistency is key.

Also, be prepared to burn some bridges in the process. Right now in your life there are probably people who will fade away completely when they realize that you will not be participating in their drama anymore.

The ladder of success is never crowded at the top! 

WHAT'S NEXT?

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This is Volume 11 of the Self Improvement and Law of Attraction Link Love series.

This series will be published weekly and will be comprised of links to quality blog posts that have proven to be extraordinary in their ability to assist, inform, or empower the reader. Enjoy!

1) Drew's Marketing Minute - Do you have your power trip hat on? If not, go get it, because the monkeys in the zoo are starting to call the shots! Drew McLellan brings us a very realistic (and potentially frightening) look at our power - and our responsibility - with his post Don Imus: The dark side of citizen marketing?

2)  Change Your Thoughts - Steve Aitchison brings home two powerful truths in his post Asking the right questions to change your life. The question is, "Are you ready to hear the truth?"

3) Breathing Prosperity - The post Law of Attraction: Poverty Isn’t Solved with Donations addresses the very real fact that poverty is a mindset, rather than some random rolling of the dice. When you change your thoughts, you change your life!

4)  Genius Types - Brian Lee brings us the tale of the guy who was "gonna" do a whole bunch of great things with his life. Read Don't Tell Me What You’re Gonna Do to learn the power of actions vs. words, and to decide what you are gonna do next!

5) HELLO, my name is BLOG - More timeless wisdom from Scott Ginsberg, this time asking What's on YOUR Wall?, which delivers the powerful message that you can create your life as well as dictate the way that people perceive you by simply practicing decorative visualization.

6) Mary Ann Copson - One of the (increasingly growing number of!) Simply Successful Secrets participants had a very powerful post about her own secrets, but then she backed it up with an equally powerful entry about how to be successful with kids as well. Her post Success Secrets for Kids really impressed me, and I am not very easily impressed!

7) Get rid of your Self Limiting Beliefs - If you doubt the ability of our self-limiting beliefs to literally dictate the course of our lives, you owe it to yourself to check out the post What You Have In Common With Elephants, by T.D. McKenzie.

8)  SmartWealthyRichdotcom - Jonathan-C. Phillips has a blog that is worth checking out on a regular basis, and his post Marketing Is Definitely Not A Boring Business includes videos that are as informative about marketing and communication as they are totally hilarious!

Blogs that have recently featured Today is that Day

Creating a Better Life - Lyman Reed has posted the latest edition of the Personal Development Carnival which is packed with great posts, including The Agony of Victory: Personal Development Breaking Point originally posted right here at Today is that Day.

Verve Coaching - The Carnival of Powerful Living as well as the Carnival of Positive Thinking both include the Today is that Day post Self Improvement Strategy: How to Eliminate Fear from your Life.

Burst Creativity - The April 2007 edition of Personal Development Burst Blog Carnival features the Today is that Day post Do You Deserve it, or are You Mistaken? as well many other entries in the categories of personal development, success, and self improvement.

That's it for this week! As always, major gratitude to all of our hard-working authors, as well as our equally hard-working readers!

Have you ever had to sit by and watch a wonderful thing die a slow, humiliating death?

That's pretty much how I feel right now as I watch from the sidelines as the glorious Law of Attraction is being both misunderstood by non-believers, and perverted into some grand money-making scheme by supposed followers.

The whole thing makes me ill, yet being a true believer and a true follower of the proper ways to utilize conscious creation in my life, I neither dwell upon nor give consistent thought to these negative circumstances.

Why, then, am I writing a blog post that calls attention to these things? After all, the LOA teaches only to notice - not to dwell upon - things that do not resonate with our desires.

I am writing - dear reader - so that you can see the difference between hype and hope, and so that an actual objective account of this situation can be given in order to avoid seeing a headstone like this one on display in public record.

There are two very basic reasons why the movie The Secret and subsequent teachings about the Law of Attraction have caused so much potential negativity in the world, and it boils down to nothing more exotic than human nature.

The need for Security

As a race, we have always had an instinctive need to know that "everything was going to be alright". This need goes back as far as the days of prehistoric man seeking shelter in rock-solid caves, and continues as an integral part of society all over the world.

This quest for security has led us to scientific discoveries, philosophical understandings, and religious belief systems. Science, philosophy, and religion have been part of the human condition since time immemorial, yet suddenly an idea has come into the mainstream that challenges all three.

According to the Law of Attraction, science as we know it may not be as we know it anymore. Need proof? Go find me a quantum physicist who says he has all of the answers. 

Philosophy itself has also been challenged by people who now say that humans have always had the ability to consciously create their lives. This throws historical record itself into chaos when you consider that this belief would have changed the very face of history had it been widely practiced centuries ago. 

And what about religion? By using the LOA, are you denouncing your deity? Are you saying that there is no God? Are you saying that each of us IS God???

Whoa! This whole thing is starting to get a little bit out of control, isn't it? Challenging science? Challenging philosophy? Challenging RELIGION?? 

I'm sorry, but this is just bringing up way too many questions that humans just don't have answers for. Better to go bury that whole "attraction" business under a rock somewhere. We'll all feel a lot better - a lot more secure - when things are back to the way they used to be and we had answers for all of this stuff.

Greed 

I'm sorry to have to be the messenger for this less than savory bit of news, but it's true. Greed is running rampant and everyone wants to cash in on the deliberate creation money train!

Ya know, it's really funny that this is the case, because true believers know that abundance is everywhere and that greed itself is not only unnecessary, but that it will actually retard the power of the LOA, leaving the greedy person without the pot of gold they were hoping for

This greed has come up in every way imaginable, including teaching and coaching programs, books, seminars, audio programs, teleclasses, eBooks, and last, but not least, let us not forget the SPECIAL REPORT!

Whatever is in the SPECIAL REPORT must be really special, because this blog alone gets at least half a dozen spam comments every single day from alleged LOA practitioners who are offering the SPECIAL REPORT, and it's FREE!

Okay, here's a clue from me to you, SPECIAL REPORT PROVIDERS: I already know how to consciously create my life. If you had read through this blog you would know that I teach my readers how to create their lives, and your SPECIAL REPORT is of no interest to me or to my readers, which is why your daily spam comments keep getting deleted. 

What about the rest of these product and service providers, though? There must be someone who really knows how to teach people to take control of their lives by using these principles.

You are absolutely right! Please don't mistake my previous comments to mean that you shouldn't listen to - and even pay for - the teachings of people who truly understand these concepts.

However, on that same token, do your homework. Any products or services that are being offered to you should at a bare minimum come with a money-back guarantee, and the seller or coach should have plenty of data to back up his/her expertise.

A blog that teaches about the Law of Attraction, a list of articles that teach about conscious creation, or a decent track record are all positive indicators. If someone has none of those, yet they are claiming to be an expert, what exactly are they an expert in, I wonder?

After reading all of this, is this really the end?

No, of course not! The principles of deliberate creation have been around literally since the dawn of time, and no present day insecurities or levels of greed are going to change that.

However, greed and insecurity are at the moment still an integral part of human nature. For that reason you will continue to see plenty of negativity surrounding these concepts, and you will continue to see a lot of people exercising their greed in order to take advantage of those insecurities.

Draw your own conclusions! Don't believe me, and don't believe your friends, co-workers, or family members.

Do your own research and decide whether or not you want to believe in and practice the many wonderful concepts that make up the Law of Attraction.

At a bare minimum, these concepts will make your life a happier and more positive place to be, and that is a fact that I am willing to share with you free of charge, no security blanket needed. 

Despite what you may see in movies or on television, getting smacked in the face is not very glamorous. You can, however, improve your life by learning how to take a punch.

If you've never had the dubious pleasure of getting punched or slapped, please do not run right out and do it so that you can equate to what I am talking about here. It hurts - just trust me on this one, okay?

So how does that knowledge help you to improve your life? Simple: by teaching you how to keep your guard up!

You see, as a general rule, people do not go through life ready for action. In fact, most people go through life not really ready for anything!

They just sort of float along in a reactionary state, waiting to see what life is going to throw at them, and then they react appropriately or inappropriately when the time comes.

That's not exactly conscious creation! In fact, that's not exactly living, in my opinion.

The way to break out of this self-induced funk is to realize that every single moment of your life is an opportunity for you to be aware.

The easiest way to be aware is to act exactly as you would if you were in a potentially dangerous physical situation.

Think about it. Have you been outside at night and felt like you might be in danger? Your senses are all very fine-tuned, you are constantly watching and listening for any sight or sound that might herald the onset of actual peril, and you are primed and ready to fight or flight with a split second's notice!

Compare that to how you walk around at your job.

Compare that to how you react when you see your spouse, your kids, or your friends.

Compare that to how you approach an upcoming workout that you don't really want to do.

In the types of situations that I just described, you wouldn't feel like your life was in any real danger, so you wouldn't feel the need to really focus on what is happening during those times.

In general, you simply float along knowing that this cubicle leads to the next cubicle, that your spouse, kids, and friends are all going to act a certain way, and that your next workout is going to be just as boring and listless as the last one was.

Now, consider what would happen in each of those situations if you actually thought someone might come up to you out of the blue and just belt you right across the face!

Would you be more aware of your surroundings? Would you notice what people were doing and saying, and whether or not you were going to be affected by that? In short, would you pay attention?

Of course you would!

• Your eyes would consciously register - not just look at - all of the things in your field of vision.
• Your mind would consciously make note of - rather than just observe - what people were doing, saying, or even what they were wearing.
• Your posture would stay strong, and firm, ready to instantly take action on anything that happened in your environment that might affect you.
• Your awareness of your own physical stature would increase, thus exponentially increasing the mind/body connection.
• Your memory of events would increase since you consciously made note of each aspect of your surroundings, rather than just floating through, barely even aware of yourself, let alone what other people were doing.
• Your ability to respond physically, emotionally, or mentally to the world around you would be sharper and more directed, rather than just having instinctive reactions which might or might not serve you.

Do you think that your life would be better if you started actually participating in it, rather than just having a front row seat, and asking the other non-aware person next to you to pass the popcorn??

I am not saying that you should run around looking for a fight all day every day, or that you live your entire life as if you are waiting for the other shoe to drop.

However, I am saying that by consciously being aware of - and thus being consciously prepared for - your life, that you will automatically start creating your life, rather than just reacting to it.

So, are you ready to attack life with a gusto, or are you just sitting around waiting to get sucker-punched? 

If you can say your ABC (skip the rest of the alphabet), you can consciously and successfully create the life of your dreams.

Back in my networking marketing days, I was taught a very useful acronym for success called A.B.C. - Always Be Closing. In a nutshell, it meant that everywhere you went and in everything that you did, you always acted as if you were "closing" the sale.

Everything was done with confidence, poise, and surety of purpose. It was (and still is) GREAT advice. However, I have come up with a modified version of that acronym, which I think is even more powerful - regardless of your career field or what your individual goals are:

It seems overly simplistic to say what I am about to say, but it certainly must not be as simple as it sounds, because most people - even the supposedly "enlightened" people - still have trouble grasping this on a day to day basis:

You always have a choice about how you react to life.

Sure, everyone claims that they know and understand this concept, yet they still don't practice it.

Whenever a job interview doesn't go their way, they CHOOSE to get upset and to start having fears about their career status.

When someone's spouse or significant other is acting in a negative way, they CHOOSE to have a negative reaction to that, which invariably leads to plenty of continued negativity.

When a scheduling issue causes chaos in someone's daily activity, they CHOOSE to throw up their hands in despair and just give up, cursing their bad luck. Then they resolve to allow that scheduling problem to change the entire course of their day.

In each of those examples, there is no doubt that each of those situations did not go the way that the individual would have preferred. However, it was not the circumstances themselves that caused problems, but rather that person's reaction to those circumstances.

If a job interview does not go your way, you can choose to either get upset and let fear and doubt begin to cloud your future judgment and actions, or you can choose to see it as a positive thing.

For all you know, there is a very good reason why you didn't get that job, and a better or more appropriate opportunity may be right around the corner. You will not see that next opportunity if you are busy wallowing in self-pity, however.

If your spouse or your boyfriend/girlfriend is being argumentative or causing negativity in your environment, how do you know that an opportunity isn't being presented to you?

Fate/God/The Universe or whoever might be tapping you on the shoulder to get your attention. Maybe you need to open up communication lines with your mate and frequent arguments are a telltale sign of that. Maybe that person really isn't for you and you are being guided to make that realization.

However, if you just get angry and start shouting back, what is going to be accomplished? Nothing positive, that's a safe bet.

What about when a scheduling issue causes chaos for you? How do you know that by getting caught by a slow train that you didn't just miss a drastic 10-car pile up that would have happened if you had made it to the other side of the tracks?

How do you know that what you perceive to be a day that has been ruined because of a blown schedule is not a great opportunity for you? Maybe you need to reevaluate your scheduling practices, reassess your daily task list, or maybe you are just getting a big wallop to your ego telling you that you need to slow down and stop trying to get so much done every single day.

Do you know that Americans work longer hours yet have less life-happiness and contentment than any other country in the world?

All of the examples that I just gave are merely random circumstances that I came up with while I was writing this post, and there are millions of other situations that could apply specifically to you. However, in each case, the lesson is still the same.

No matter how many curve balls that life chooses to throw at you, no matter how much negativity you are exposed to, and no matter how much your "mettle" is tested, there is always one - and only one - way to deal with it:

The way you CHOOSE to deal with it.

By choosing negative reactions, you will ensure continued negativity in the future. By choosing positive reactions, you will always give yourself a fresh start, a fresh perspective, and in some cases, a completely fresh slate from which to start all over again.

So, are you going to be a victim in life, or you are you going to choose to be in control?

The, uh, choice - is yours.