If you want to improve your life, then you are going to have to practice personal growth by facing and overcoming challenges. The thrill of Victory is one of the sweetest sensations you can experience, but you'll never feel it if you live your life inside a compact little bubble where nothing ever changes.

It's a classic irony of the human condition that our instincts drive us to expand and to grow, yet at the same time we enjoy comfort, security, and recognizable boundaries. However, those same comfortable boundaries quickly become a self-imposed prison unless we continue to improve ourselves in some way.

Photo Credit: Vicky SUnless you want to live the rest of your days in your safe little box, you're going to have to learn how to push your own limits, thus opening yourself up to experience the growing pains that herald the victories of your future. Falling flat on your face is the quickest, most effective way to make you appreciate the simplicity of being able to stand up straight, and as unpleasant as the fall may be, you'll stand up that much taller from that point on because you'll have the memory of that contrast.

Visualize the end result and ONLY the end result

As most of my readers know, I am going through the 90-day P90X workout program right now, and how can I put this bluntly? It's hard!

However, I have several goals that depend completely or in part on my success with that program, so whenever I am feeling weak (literally or figuratively!) I visualize the end result, and I focus on it fiercely with all of my will power. What I don't do is think about how hard an exercise is, or about how much I don't want to workout, or about how I have work on my computer that I want to do during my exercise time.

One of the workouts is a rather intense yoga routine that includes some very difficult abdominal exercises towards the end after you are wiped out from more than 70 minutes of yoga poses. The "no pain" route to take would be to drop to the floor, rest, and just give up. The "pain" route involves me visualizing the six-pack that I am building, and focusing only on that vision, to the exclusion of everything else - including the pain itself.

The "no pain" route is easy in the moment, and gives a fleeting, instant reward - the opportunity to rest. The "pain" route involves significant discomfort, and no immediate noticeable results, but the long-term rewards make the pain very much worth working through.

Think of it as growth, not as pain

Sure, whenever your heart is broken, your bank account is vacant, or you're gasping for air while exercising, it's kind of hard not to realize that pain. However, the trick to personal growth is not in avoiding growth opportunities, but rather in learning from them.

• If you don't know the pain of a broken heart, then you also don't know how to appreciate a loving and happy relationship.
• If you don't know what it's like to wonder if you'll have enough money to pay your bills, then you don't understand the value of the money and the resources that you have.
• If you don't know what it feels like to be unhealthy, fat, or injured, then you don't know how wonderful it feels to be the opposite of those things.

Rather than viewing your painful experiences as nothing but painful experiences, instead, be grateful for the contrast they show you that will then allow you to appreciate success in those areas that much more once you have attained it.

Once you have learned everything that you need to learn from being broken-hearted, poverty-stricken, or out of shape, then apply what you have learned so you can avoid that pain in the future. 

Also, no matter how bad your pain is, it is there nonetheless. If you are going to be experiencing it anyway, wouldn't it be better to get something good out of the deal?

Don't forget to accept responsibility

The absolute shortest route that you can take towards reliving pain in your life that you didn't like the first time around is to blame it all on someone else.

• My ex-husband/wife is a jerk
• My boss doesn't care about my needs
• My kids won't give me space
• My brother/sister/mother/father treats me bad
• My friends are holding me back
• My genetics keep me from succeeding
• My lifestyle forces me to live my life this way
• My schedule keeps me from exercising and eating right

Crap, crap, and more crap. YOU are the only person who is now - or ever has been - responsible for the pain that you experience in life. Here is a short and simple way to remember this:

If it happened to you, then you were a part of it.

You may not have directly asked for something negative to come your way, or to be injured, or to get fired, or to have a relationship end badly, but if you were there at all (and you were!), then you share in the responsibility of the negative circumstances that are now causing you pain.

If you keep blaming other people or the outside world for your pain, then you will simply be handing over the reigns of your life to other people or to the outside world. You will continue to experience pain that is allegedly because of other people until you learn to take responsibility for the decisions that you make.

Remember, the goal here is personal growth. What exactly have you learned if it's always someone else's fault?

WHAT'S NEXT?

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If you're fat, broke, or your relationships stink, why don't you stop and ask yourself just what it is that you are getting out of that situation that causes you to stay there year after year?

Before you seriously consider these concepts, however, put your Excuse Hat in the closet and lock the door, because your excuses are what have powered your ability to get to where you presently are in life. If you want things to change, then your excuses need to go away!

Photo Credit: Gavin WilsonAll of us living the 3-dimensional existence here on planet Earth have dreams, aspirations, goals, etc., and sometimes we even make a consistent effort to see them realized. However, more often than not, people refuse to consistently do what it takes to effect long-term, positive changes in their lives. As a result, they mindlessly stay on a road that leads nowhere, in a car they don't even want to be in, surrounded by people they would just as soon leave at the next rest stop.

What EXACTLY are you getting out of that type of situation??

Sure, it's easy to just sit back and know that you want to lose weight, make more money, or be in better relationships, but why not take a more active role in your own happiness by simply asking yourself: "What am I getting out of the fact that this area of my life isn't what I want it to be?"

If you're Fat

If you are, and you're offended right now, then that should be a huge red flag that you aren't getting what you want out of your level of health and fitness.

Do you like how it feels to hide your body behind clothes that disguise your curves? Do you like the fact that you see people every single day who have the type of body that you want to have? Do you like the fact that your self esteem and your self confidence take a hit every time you look in the mirror? Do you like the fact that other people have something that you want, but have been unable to attain?

Unless you can answer yes to those types of questions, then what exactly is it that is stopping you from taking the consistent, long-term steps necessary to lose weight? Don't forget - the excuses are locked in a closet right now.

For most people, that will leave them with nothing to say in their defense, because excuses are all that they have been putting their back against for all of these years.

If you're Broke

Money might not buy happiness, but it sure does buy plenty of opportunities and freedoms that allow us to do the things that cause happiness in our lives. If you've been struggling with finances, what exactly is it that you are enjoying so much about that struggle that causes you to keep doing it?

Do you like never having the money to do the things you want to do? Do you like worrying about whether or not you are going to have enough money to pay your bills? Do you like creditors and bill collectors calling you? Do you like seeing other people with the material goods or experiences that you want to have, yet you can't have because you're broke?

Unless you can answer yes to those types of questions, then what is stopping you from cleaning up your finances, and finding abundance in your life? With your excuses firmly locked away in the closet, the only thing you should be thinking right now is: "You're right! It's time to finally make changes after all these years!"

If you're Relationships Stink

You may not feel that it is within your power to magically bring Mr. or Mrs. Right into your life, but you can control whether or not you stay with your present significant other, or whether or not your present relationship includes the experiences that you want to have.

Do you enjoy having someone in your life who doesn't treat you the way that you want to be treated? Do you enjoy feeling like you are trapped in a relationship that you don't want to be in? Do you enjoy fantasizing about a person or a relationship that is a far cry from where you are right now? Do you enjoy clocking off the precious, limited amount of hours in your life while having a relationship status that does not bring you joy?

Unless you can answer yes to those types of questions, then why exactly is it that you don't make the hard decisions or take the appropriate action in order to change your circumstances? With your excuses locked away in the closet, it may very well be time to start taking massive action in order to safeguard your own happiness.

Were the examples that were given blunt, and to the point? You bet they were, because that is exactly what people need to hear! The B.S. politically correct atmosphere that our world is enshrouded in does nothing but help people feel better about the fact that they aren't willing to do what it takes to improve their lives.

So, what are you going to do now? Will you continue to be fat, broke, or unhappy in your relationships, or will you leave the excuses safely locked away in the closet and start taking control over your life?

WHAT'S NEXT?

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Today is May 24, 2008, and it is the Saturday of the Memorial Day holiday weekend in the United States. Memorial Day is a holiday when U.S. citizens remember the military members who have died in order to protect and preserve the American way of life.

I am an ex-U.S. Army soldier myself, so I have a special appreciation for those men and women who made the ultimate sacrifice so that I could have the freedom and the opportunity to sit here, safe and secure in my home, writing this tribute to them.

Photo Credit: Elvis SantanaAs we all go about our activities this holiday weekend, hitting pools, ponds, beaches and barbeque's, don't forget to remember that while you're out partying like a rock star, there are soldiers who never came home, children without one of their parents, and family members who will never again see their son, daughter, brother, or sister.

It's not about being down and depressed about it, it's about celebrating the freedom that we have, showing gratitude for those who made it possible, and never taking it all for granted.

As you tip a glass this weekend, and officially kick off your summer, give a moment of remembrance to those who made it possible, and then make the rest of the party - and the rest of your life - something that was worthy of their sacrifice.

Much gratitude to Domestic Divapalooza for gathering a list of Memorial Day tribute blog posts! 

Life is a contact sport, and if you want to be the person standing with the championship trophy at the end of the game, then you need to live your life with an all out effort, rather than just sitting in the stands watching other people enjoy the spoils of victory.

People who float through life just going with the flow are the same people who end up being dashed onto the rocks at the bottom of the waterfall, whereas people who are willing to kick, fight, claw, and scratch for what they want are the people whose lives become examples of what dreams are made of.

Photo Credit: This is BrokenLife hands us plenty of opportunities to just take the easy way out, and most people do exactly that. Although they know in their heart's that they want more than they are presently getting out of life, the huge effort that would be required of them to receive the spoils of going against the current is simply beyond their willingness to undertake. They apply a token effort (winging it) rather than a consistent 100% intensity effort (bringing it), and they are rewarded with wonderfully mediocre results.

People who BRING IT, on the other hand, take charge of their lives by giving up the victim mentality. As Joel Osteen is fond of saying, they are vicTOR's rather than vicTIM's.

It's not an easy journey, though, which is precisely why most people don't do it. Someone who is "bringing it" lays their head on their pillow at the end of the day with the true 100% belief that they did everything in their power to make their dreams a reality that day, and they often have the scars to prove it.

People from the "winging it" group, on the other hand, lay in bed at night wondering if they did the right thing, worrying about their future, lying to themselves about why they backed off on their intensity, why they ate so much junk food that day, or why they let that person push them around.

• People who BRING IT don't worry about anything. They have truly done everything they can do, so worrying is a complete waste of time.
• People who just wing it constantly wonder what they could have done better, or what they need to do tomorrow to make up for today's shortcomings.
• People who BRING IT may be scratched, beat up, bruised, or bleeding, but they go to bed knowing that they truly fought their best fight, and they are at peace as a result.
• People who just wing it are masters at coming up with reasons excuses for why they didn't make an all out effort.
• People who BRING IT live up to their personal integrity every single day, even if it means a lack of security, or if it means taking a risk.
• People who just wing it always take the safe route, and they die just a little bit inside each time they give up what they truly want in order to settle for what they believe they can have.
• People who BRING IT realize that every 60 seconds of their life is another 60 seconds that they can take action towards their goals.
• People who just wing it always have reasons excuses for why they haven't yet finished a project, or accomplished a goal.
• People who BRING IT understand that their position of power is something that they create internally, and that it has nothing to do with the outside circumstances.
• People who just wing it can always justify their willingness to give up control of their lives with lots of "real world" reasons for why it's all out of their hands.
• People who BRING IT also KNOW that they are bringing it, and even if they live in a cardboard box, their cardboard box is the best one on the block because it was built with confidence and pride, not lack and despair.
• People who just wing it are well aware of the fact that they are winging it, and no matter how successful or unsuccessful they are, the voice in the back of their mind never stops reminding them that their life isn't what it could be. They are also quite proficient at ignoring that voice.

There are a lot of people (myself included) who say that life should be full of joy, and that true joy is effortless. When you are truly living your life in alignment with your desires, struggle is not part of the equation. The confusion comes in when people equate the word "effortless" with the word "easy".

Effortless means that even though you are gasping for air and physically exhausted during a workout, you are 100% confident that you are doing the right thing for your body, and that fills you with joy.

 - Easy means that you don't workout at all, or that you only give a token effort.

Effortless means that even though you have to live on 4 hours of sleep per night while you build a business or finish your education, you are 100% confident that you are doing the right thing for your future.

 - Easy means just taking a day job and hoping for the best.

Effortless means that you do everything and anything in your power to make your relationships wonderful by being the best you that you can be, and you are 100% confident that anyone who doesn't see the value in what you have to offer doesn't deserve to have you in their life.

 - Easy means settling for relationship circumstances that you don't agree with or enjoy.

Effortless means standing up for what you believe in at work, at church, in your neighborhood, and even in your own home, because you are 100% confident that living up to your personal integrity is more important than living by the status quo.

 - Easy means doing what everyone else is doing so you don't rock the boat.

The difference between "effortless" and "easy" is the same difference between "Bringing It" and "Winging It". One of those states of mind ensures success, abundance, happiness, and joy, while the other ensures struggle, strife, fear, and uncertainty.

Life gives us back exactly what we put into it. If you want your life to be a Kingdom of Glory, Success, Joy, and Happiness, then act like a King, not like a pauper.

WHAT'S NEXT?

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Welcome to the 18th and final edition of the Doing it Differently Blog Carnival!

This carnival is dedicated to the concept of stepping outside of the box and living our lives in ways beyond the "norm"!

Whether you want to learn unique ways to think or act differently, or if you want to share your own unique ideas, this carnival is for you!

This will be the final edition of the Doing it Differently blog carnival hosted at Today is that Day, so I have made this edition the most information packed edition yet!

Enjoy all of this great content, and if you like this carnival or if you are one of the authors featured in this edition, be sure to add this post to Stumbleupon, Digg, or your favorite social bookmarking site!

Self Improvement/Personal Growth

Stephen Martile - Great Friends

Sabrina Jefferson - Building Confidence By Doing

Personal Development by an INTJ - How To Solve Problems By Changing Your Frame Or Perspective

The Happy and Prosperous Blog - Self-Esteeming - Creating Self-Esteem

Never the Same River Twice - Are You Working With an Old Reality? How to Change Paradigms

Arun's Daily Remedy - Conflicting Desires

Energies of Creation - Are You Trapped in a Brain Closet?

Relationships

Makeitbetter’s Weblog - I Hate Weddings

The Incurable Romantic - When the Lights Go Out

Conscious Flex - The Purpose of Human Relationships

Systems Thinker - Choosing Intimate Partners: To Repeat or Not to Repeat?

Parenting

David B. Bohl - How to Talk to Children

The Next 45 Years - Confessions from a Recovering Father

Homework. Dinner. Life. - Let Your Kids Stay In the Room While You Do It

Parenting Squad - Why Stay-At-Home-Dads Are Good For Families

Business/Success

Internet Business and Life at ProcessToProfits - How Are You Dividing Your Attention?

Bootstrapper - How to Telecommute Successfully: 50 Tips and Resources

Yes to Me - Are You Afraid To Express Yourself In Business?

Internet Business Coaching by Terry Dean - 7 Make Money Online Myths

Mark Riffey's Business is Personal - Blocking time improves small business owner productivity

Don D. Morrison - Do You Have True Personal & Financial Freedom?

Get International Clients - How Information Products Sold In Foreign Markets Can Save Your Business When Your Economy Is Slow

Internet Business Guide - How To Save 2 Hours Per Day

Lee McIntyre's Internet Marketing Blog - Low Cost Way to Get 1,000 Workers Today

Law of Attraction/Conscious Creation

Law of Attraction for Beginners - Cooking with Thought Energy

Good to Feel Good - A Secret Meditation for Law of Attraction Followers

The Environment

Phil for Humanity - Stop Watering Your Lawn

That wraps up the 18th and final edition of the Doing it Differently Blog Carnival! Many thanks to all of the most recent authors, as well as to all of the authors who have contributed in the past! I'm certain that the readers of this carnival have gotten great value from your content, so please accept my sincerest gratitude for all that you have shared!