There have been multiple studies done about how to find your "purpose" in life, or about how to find your ideal career, yet that information might be no further away than a review of what you have been doing all along!

Yes, I will be the first (and continual!) person to tell you that if you keep doing what you've always done, you'll keep getting what you've always gotten. However, that does not mean that you can't get clues about the things that will make you happy by reviewing what you have done in the past.

Photo Credit: RockoWhen it comes to being "larger than life," what is it that you or the people who know you well would say about you? What character traits, hobbies, or habits have you maintained for years, probably without even giving it any conscious thought? When you find the things that you are already enormous at, you will have found things that are in alignment with who you are, and those things can then be used as an outline to create who you want to become.

It is very likely that when giving consideration to what type of person you have been for years, you will not need to dig very deeply. If you have to think really hard about what type of personality you have, or about habits that you have maintained over the long-term, you are probably putting too much thought into it.

Don't think of it in terms of how a habit or a personality trait could make you happy, or about how you could use it to make money. Just stick to the facts, and then you can sort it out later to determine what it all means. I'll use myself as an example to illustrate the process:

• Healthy - I picked up my first barbell when I was 15 years old, I am 38 years old right now, and I have never gone more than 6 months without being on a consistent exercise program.
• Happy - Although my life has had bumps and bruises just like anyone else's life, I have always had a happy and out-going disposition. Yes, I can get cranky just like everyone can, but overall I have always been cheerful.
• Ethical - I got my first job within a week of being legally old enough to work, and I was mowing lawns and doing yard work for cash long before that. I have always done quality work, and I have always gone above and beyond the call of duty to earn the money that I've been paid.
• Outdoors - I grew up in the middle of nowhere in upstate New York long before everyone had an iPod, a cell phone, and a MySpace page, and playing outdoors was an integral part of my upbringing. To this day, I will literally get stressed out if I stay inside for too long.
• Inspirational - No, I haven't always had my present technical and grammatical skills, but I have always been the kind of person that people come to for advice, and the kind of person who helps people to believe that everything is going to be OK.
• Disciplined - Whether it was walking 1 1/2 miles each way to see my girlfriend 3 times a week when I was a freshman in high school (again - upstate New York - brrrrr!), freezing or sweating during days and nights in the desert while I was in the Army, doing manual labor for days on end in the Florida heat, or BRINGING IT with P90X, I have always been able to rise to any physical or mental challenge put before me.
• Fun-loving - I have never consistently taken life too seriously. Yes, there have been times when I've worn the party hat a bit less often than other times, but for the most part I have always been the kind of person who believed in enjoying the journey, and I have the pictures (and the scars!) to prove it.

Just now when I typed all of that out, it took me only marginally longer to type it than it probably took you to read it. I did not have to give very much thought to those habits and personality traits because they are nothing new to me, and none of them are only in my distant past. All of those examples are things that I have practiced most of my life, and I could call out a recent example of each and every one of them. These aren't habits or traits that I used to have, or that I would like to have, but rather that I already have, and that I've had for years.

Now, if there is something that I am considering - whether short or long-term - I don't have to look any further than that list to see if it is something that I will enjoy doing. As I said back in the Winds of Change post, I am getting ready to start a new fitness program on the coast of Florida. Does it match my profile?

• Healthy - You can't run a fitness business if you aren't in shape yourself - not if you actually want customers!
• Happy - After 3 years as a personal trainer, I can tell you for a fact that a fitness instructor's upbeat attitude is more important than their skills.
• Ethical - Again, if you want customers, you run an ethical business, and I always have, and always will.
• Outdoors - Doesn't get much more outdoors than the coast of somewhere beautiful :)
• Inspirational - I'll be in charge of inspiring not only a lot of customers to succeed, but a lot of employees and joint venture partners as well.
• Disciplined - I will go from working full-time at home in a temperature controlled environment to working outside in Florida in the summertime. Pretty safe bet that both physical and mental discipline will come into play!
• Fun-loving - I hatched this entire idea because I wanted to do something fun, and - without giving away the details of my business plan - yes, it will be loads of fun!

I will be personally happy because I will be practicing the very same personality traits that I have been using for years, and I have been using them because I enjoy doing so. I will be professionally happy because I will make a good living using those same personality traits, and at the same time I will be enhancing the physical and the financial success of dozens, hundreds, and ultimately thousands of people.

How to find your own Enormity

You already know what it is that you enjoy doing, so just sit down and right it out, just like I did in this blog post. Don't study it, or analyze it, or try to figure it out. Just write.

When you have a list of 6 to 12 habits or personality traits that have been part of your life over the long-term, then you simply check your present lifestyle and/or your desired future lifestyle against that list.

If your life and your planned future are in alignment with your list, then you are probably lined up for long-term happiness. If your lifestyle and your list are on two different planes of existence, however, now might be a good time to ask yourself why the life you are leading or planning is such a far cry from what you actually enjoy doing…

WHAT'S NEXT?

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If nothing changes, then nothing changes, so you need to let go of the notion that improving your life will not include changing it in the process.

Albert Einstein is quoted as saying "We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them" and that statement could not be more accurate. If your dream life is different than the life you are presently living, then you are going to have to make some changes, and those changes could be downright radical, and even uncomfortable. However, if I may tip the hat to another great quote (author unknown), "Do today what others won't so you can do tomorrow what others can't".

Photo Credit: Silvia CosiminiAs you look towards the life that you want to lead, you may very well have to also look at some radical or uncomfortable changes that need to occur in order for you to start living that life. The winds of change - as they continually blow across the sands of time - will sometimes rock your boat or get sand in your eye, and sometimes they will even knock you flat. Nonetheless, the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow is there waiting for all of those who do what it takes to power through and take hold of their dreams.

As is often the case here on the Today is that Day blog, my inspiration for blog posts comes from my very own life, and that is the case here as well. My own life is about to radically change (for the better!), yet at the same time, the tasks involved in creating that change are large and could easily be overwhelming if I didn't know how to control those kinds of emotions.

So, rather than freak out and turn into a useless mass of blabbering inefficiency, I have instead come up with a great plan of action that - as indicated above - will require some radical changes on my part in order to make it all happen. In order to come up with that plan, I utilized a simple, 4-step challenge solving process:

1. Identify the Primary Goal - There are numerous factors that go into facing up to any challenge, but there is always one primary goal that will then fuel or enable the rest of the tasks. Find that one primary goal, and focus on that one thing, to the exclusion of everything else.
2. Assess what Resources you have Available - Often times money helps to grease the wheels of goal attainment, but you may still have to access other resources as well - possibly in order to get that money. Those resources could include your own skills, your experiences, your circle of influence, or even material possessions that might be part of the solution.
3. Find a way to use those Resources to attain the Primary Goal - Now is the time to think outside of the box. Remember, if nothing changes, then nothing changes. If you're alive (and you are!), then you have something to offer that will help you to get what you want.
4. Refuse to accept Defeat as an Option - As long as you continue to hold onto some sort of safety net in case things don't work out, those things WON'T work out, because you will always know in the back of your mind that if you fall (or fail), the net will catch you. DECIDE that you are going to get what you want, and COMMIT to getting it at all costs. Failure is NOT an option!

A Real Life Example:

In my case, the changes in question include moving to the east coast of Florida in order to start a very cool, very unique coastal fitness program. After almost 2 years of working almost exclusively from home, the winds of change now find me:

• Moving all the way to within walking distance of the beach from my present central Florida location
• Starting a company that will ultimately be incorporated, spreading my unique business idea all over the world
• Being available 3 or 4 times per day outside of my home to train clients
• Hiring, training, and managing employees, which is something that I have always managed to avoid in the past

Identify the Primary Goal - This entire business idea is predicated on living by the beach. As much as I love the beach, it's not about sun-bathing and dolphin-watching, but rather utilizing the coastal community as the catalyst and the life-blood of the business. Moving to the beach is the Primary Goal. Without that, nothing else matters.

Assess my Available Resources - My personal development products, my social networking site, my skills and abilities, my fitness coaching site, and my circle of influence.

Use Resources to attain Primary Goal -

• Personal Development Products - My products have great value and quality, and I know that for a fact, so I don't need to "convince" anyone to buy them. They all come with a money-back guarantee and email support from me, and they are all very reasonably priced. Using my products as part of solving this challenge is as simple as reminding people that they are worth checking out.
• Social Networking Site - Personal Development Partners is growing every day, and I have even started advertising it on Craigslist. I will continue to offer the lifetime membership option only until the end of June, so now is the time to take advantage of that. I also have just 3 Thought Leader positions left open, and those are the most coveted spots, so grab one now - they go fast. Again, using my site as part of solving this challenge is simply reminding people of the value that is available.
• Skills and Abilities - I have been encouraged by many people to help others with their blogs and/or to write for other people's blogs. I very much enjoy creating content that people get value from, so I have decided to start offering my blogging and writing services for hire. This is far beyond anything that I have offered in the past, and that radical change is part of my challenge-solving process.
• Fitness Coaching Site - I have been writing at Fitness Destinations for more than 4 years (first as a website, and more recently as a blog), and it is chock full of a ton of really great information. Since I have gotten back into Fitness Coaching, I have been updating that site with product-specific posts at least a few times each week. That site is part of solving this challenge by me encouraging people to check it out, and to pay special attention to whether or not you see value in the P90X Reviews that I have been doing.
• Circle of Influence - In addition to this blog post encouraging people to check out all of the products and services that I offer, I am also going to simply ask for help! Regular readers at Today is that Day say that they love the site and the content, so here is your chance to prove it. If you would like to be a part of helping me rise to this huge challenge, you are welcome and encouraged to do any of the following:
• Make a Donation - No donation is too small (or too large!). Since bloggers get paid for their writing, I am well within my rights to ask people to make a donation if they truly see value in my work.
• Purchase a Product - As indicated above, my products rock, and they are worth every penny.
• Join PDP - Personal Development Partners is a great site, and the members are helpful, friendly, and knowledgeable, not to mention the huge list of benefits that all paying members get immediate access to.
• Hire Me - Check out the details on what I offer, and if I can be of service to you, then great. If not, then please let your own circle of influence know what I have to offer.
• Purchase a Beachbody Product - Not only will you get me as your Team Beachbody Coach, but you'll get a high quality product that is much more than worth it's price.

Defeat is NOT an Option - This entire decision for me was based on my own desires vs. the resources and geography that are available where I live now. It is simply not possible for me to do what I want as long as I live here, and I have explored every conceivable option to determine that fact. If I am going to get what I want (and I am!!), then I do not even have the option of living where I live. It's the coast or nothing!

Conclusion

If you'll read carefully through the challenge-solving process, and then see how I applied that process to my own situation, you'll see one very important fact:

The only thing that actually changed was how I presented or utilized the resources that were there all along!

I didn't have to get more stuff, attain more skills, get a lucky break, or do anything that has not been in my control the entire time. All I did was identify the goal, take an assessment, apply my inventory of resources towards the issue, and then stubbornly refuse to accept anything less than success.

The end results? Well, at the time of this writing, that remains to be seen. However, if you want to see me lead by example by attaining this goal, then subscribe to my RSS feed to stay up to date. I'll be moving to my new coastal residence within 60 days - guaranteed! 

Have you ever heard those people who say that the world revolves around what they want? Here's a quick tip for you - they were right!

Somewhere along the line in history, human beings have lost track of the very real, very important, very self-centered fact that each of us is 100% responsible for our lives. Our happiness/sadness, wealth/poverty, vitality/ill health, opportunity/despondency - and any other polar opposites that you can imagine - are the responsible of exactly one person, and that is you.

Photo Credit: Asif AkbarNo matter what your circumstances are in life, there is a way for you to create happiness and success out of those circumstances, because when all is said and done, one of the truths of existence is that each and and every one of us is the center of our own universe. Our thoughts, feelings, and actions create the very axis on which our entire existence spins, and that process is 100% within our control.

Yes, yes - I can hear your "insert excuse here" arguments already:

I was born this way, so I don't have a choice. - How you were born or raised is completely irrelevant. As Jack Canfield says, "That's the 'so what'. The 'what' is what now?" You can live in the past, or you can create the future.

This health condition runs in my family. - For one, that doesn't mean that you can't take every conceivable step to ensure maximum health despite that condition. For two, that doesn't mean that you can't consciously will better health into your life. For three, that health condition is a circumstance of your life, not the definition of your life. Realize the difference and quit whining about it.

Other people are involved in whether or not this can happen. - No, you allow other people to be involved in whether or not something can happen. People only effect our lives to the extent that we allow them to affect our lives. No matter how much you perceive someone else as being a positive or a negative part of your life, their impact on your life is totally in your control. If someone else is making your life miserable, you've got no one to thank for it but yourself.

It's out of my control. - In other words, you aren't willing to take responsibility for it. Henry Ford used to tell his employees not to bring him problems, but instead to bring him solutions. If something is "out of your control," all that means is that you haven't found a way to take control of it. If you are not willing to find that way, then you're right - it IS out of your control. How does that make you feel?

Whatever other excuses you can come up with, they all boil down to exactly the same thing:

That word "victim" is funny to me, because I think it should actually be elongated in order to more clearly demonstrate what being a "victim" is all about. Perhaps a vote on a better definition?

• Willing Participate
• Drama Lover
• Negativity Junkie
• Responsibility Avoider
• Blind Follower
• Commitment Challenged
• Selectively Ignorant

Oh, the list could go on and on, and no matter how long the list got, every phrase would describe the very same fact:

There are people who believe in and consistently act upon their ability to create wonderful lives for themselves, and there are people who realize how much easier it is to play the victim card, thus avoiding any real responsibility for their own happiness.

On that same note, there are people who will read this, and become empowered, and there are people who will immediately start coming up with reasons excuses about how these concepts don't apply to their lives because ________________ (insert lame excuse here).

Do yourself a favor and ask yourself which type of person you are. Then do yourself an even bigger favor and give yourself an honest answer to that question.

If you've been a blind, drama-loving, commitment-challenged, selectively-ignorant, negatively-charged, willing avoider of responsibility, then just ask yourself one more question:

How's that been working out for you?

WHAT'S NEXT?

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If all wishes came true - and then defined our lives from that point forward - most boys would be firemen or astronauts right now, and most girls would be riding pretty ponies off into the sunset. Wishes don't actually have that kind of power over our lives, though, because until those wishes have been elevated to Dream status, they are just fanciful thoughts.

Fanciful thoughts, as much fun as they can be, don't become much more than that until a burning desire to attain the subject of those thoughts is put into place. Without a sincere desire to attain whatever it is that we are thinking about, our thoughts can be simply knocked out of the way by other thoughts that take their place.

Photo Credit: superdecorLong-term lifestyle changes don't take effect until we have consistently given thought to any given subject, and also attached powerful, passionate emotions to those thoughts. Think of the chaos that our lives would be made up of if every time we had a dreamy thought, our reality would be instantly whisked away, only to be replaced with the world that we were just thinking about.

Although it is certainly true that we can manifest anything at all into our lives that we desire, it takes more than just a passing thought to unleash our mastery over manifestation. Our desires must first become so ingrained in our thinking and feeling processes that we can't help but think about them. If you have to remind yourself to think about your dreams, then those aren't dreams, but rather fanciful wishes.

You can let go of a dream, but a dream never lets go of YOU.

- Joel Osteen

In today's world of unbounded possibilities, it can be very easy to become confused when trying to determine if something is truly a long-term dream, or just the latest "wish of the moment". Here are some tips to help you tell the difference.

Dreams don't need to be Justified

If you truly want something in your life, then you won't need to quantify your desires by then adding in details about what your dreams are going to do to enhance humanity, or to help save the world.

If you have always dreamed of being a professional golfer (just a random example), then you want to do that because it is what you want to do. It has nothing to do with changing people's lives, improving humanity, or any other lofty goal. Your dreams are your dreams because you want them. That's it.

If your dream life ALSO includes curing the ill, advancing evolution, and helping old ladies cross the street - well, that's just so much the better. However, those perceived positive concepts do not necessarily need to be part of your dreams.

Your dreams are what YOU want, not what the rest of the world wants.

Dreams hunt you down

If someone comes back from a vacation in Tahiti, shows you pictures, and brags about how wonderful it all was, then it would be perfectly natural for you to start thinking about how great it would be to visit Tahiti.

The more that person embellishes the glory of their Tahitian vacation, the more you will want to enjoy that same experience. However, that doesn't mean that your life's goal is going to suddenly become doing nothing but planning and financing a trip to Tahiti.

On the other hand, if something happens to you that causes you to instantly fall in LOVE with an idea or a geography, and just like the love between 2 people, you can't stop thinking about it no matter what you do, that could be a dream in the making. That dream will keep popping up over and over and over again, and you won't be able to stop thinking about it, even when you TRY to.

I visited the big northern island of Kauai in the Hawaiian islands many years ago - probably close to 10 years ago by now. I was on vacation from a dot-com company during the height of the dot-com era, and I went to Kauai from my home in Seattle, WA.

The difference in lifestyle could have been measured, cut up, and served on a plate with a side salad and a cold beer.

The beautiful climate, the laid-back atmosphere, and the instant connection with Mother Earth was like getting hit with a wake-up bullet right to the head. I was instantly in love, and I couldn't stop thinking about that lifestyle.

I had never even seen the ocean before that, but to this day I am a beach junkie (hence my screenname), I physically get stressed out if I don't spend enough time outdoors, and my dream since that vacation and up to the present moment is to live in a house that is on the coast, and that is in a geographically tropical environment.

After that vacation I went from Seattle, WA, to Atlanta, GA, to Jacksonville, FL, to Daytona Beach, FL, and right now I live in Orlando, FL, with plans to very likely move to Cocoa Beach, FL within the next 3-6 months. Ever since that vacation almost 10 years ago, I have been in love with the beach and the tropical environment, and no matter what I do, that dream keeps hunting me down, and I keep getting closer and closer to seeing it realized.

Dreams are Bullet-proof

A true dream is something that you want and that you believe in having no matter what other people say. If all it takes for you to give up your dream is someone telling you that you don't have what it takes, then that isn't a dream.

A dream will never allow itself to be bullied, rationalized, or reasoned out of existence. Dreams don't need petty things like logic and reason in order to survive. A dream is something that you want no matter how impossible it may seem to attain it.

If you find yourself seeking counsel from other people about whether or not your dreams should be pursued, then those aren't dreams - they're wishes.

To use the earlier example of a vacation to Tahiti, once you had decided that you really wanted to do that, you would very likely start a data-mining project to find out all that there is to know:

• What is the most time/cost effective way to get there?
• What are the best things to see/do in Tahiti?
• How much money will I need for a vacation like this?
• What do other people say about their vacations to Tahiti?

From a logical and reasonable standpoint, those types of questions make a lot of sense. Who wouldn't research a vacation before going on it?

Someone whose DREAM it was to go on that vacation, that's who! If you dream of Tahiti (or living in a house at the beach), then those dreams require no further study. Those dreams simply exist, and no amount of research is going to change the fact that you want them.

So, can you ALSO have wishes to go along with dreams? ABSOLUTELY!

Just remember that wishes fall into the "would be nice to have" category, and dreams fall into the "I gotta have that" category.

Pretty simple when you break it down like that, don't you think?

WHAT'S NEXT?

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If you want to improve your life, then you are going to have to practice personal growth by facing and overcoming challenges. The thrill of Victory is one of the sweetest sensations you can experience, but you'll never feel it if you live your life inside a compact little bubble where nothing ever changes.

It's a classic irony of the human condition that our instincts drive us to expand and to grow, yet at the same time we enjoy comfort, security, and recognizable boundaries. However, those same comfortable boundaries quickly become a self-imposed prison unless we continue to improve ourselves in some way.

Photo Credit: Vicky SUnless you want to live the rest of your days in your safe little box, you're going to have to learn how to push your own limits, thus opening yourself up to experience the growing pains that herald the victories of your future. Falling flat on your face is the quickest, most effective way to make you appreciate the simplicity of being able to stand up straight, and as unpleasant as the fall may be, you'll stand up that much taller from that point on because you'll have the memory of that contrast.

Visualize the end result and ONLY the end result

As most of my readers know, I am going through the 90-day P90X workout program right now, and how can I put this bluntly? It's hard!

However, I have several goals that depend completely or in part on my success with that program, so whenever I am feeling weak (literally or figuratively!) I visualize the end result, and I focus on it fiercely with all of my will power. What I don't do is think about how hard an exercise is, or about how much I don't want to workout, or about how I have work on my computer that I want to do during my exercise time.

One of the workouts is a rather intense yoga routine that includes some very difficult abdominal exercises towards the end after you are wiped out from more than 70 minutes of yoga poses. The "no pain" route to take would be to drop to the floor, rest, and just give up. The "pain" route involves me visualizing the six-pack that I am building, and focusing only on that vision, to the exclusion of everything else - including the pain itself.

The "no pain" route is easy in the moment, and gives a fleeting, instant reward - the opportunity to rest. The "pain" route involves significant discomfort, and no immediate noticeable results, but the long-term rewards make the pain very much worth working through.

Think of it as growth, not as pain

Sure, whenever your heart is broken, your bank account is vacant, or you're gasping for air while exercising, it's kind of hard not to realize that pain. However, the trick to personal growth is not in avoiding growth opportunities, but rather in learning from them.

• If you don't know the pain of a broken heart, then you also don't know how to appreciate a loving and happy relationship.
• If you don't know what it's like to wonder if you'll have enough money to pay your bills, then you don't understand the value of the money and the resources that you have.
• If you don't know what it feels like to be unhealthy, fat, or injured, then you don't know how wonderful it feels to be the opposite of those things.

Rather than viewing your painful experiences as nothing but painful experiences, instead, be grateful for the contrast they show you that will then allow you to appreciate success in those areas that much more once you have attained it.

Once you have learned everything that you need to learn from being broken-hearted, poverty-stricken, or out of shape, then apply what you have learned so you can avoid that pain in the future. 

Also, no matter how bad your pain is, it is there nonetheless. If you are going to be experiencing it anyway, wouldn't it be better to get something good out of the deal?

Don't forget to accept responsibility

The absolute shortest route that you can take towards reliving pain in your life that you didn't like the first time around is to blame it all on someone else.

• My ex-husband/wife is a jerk
• My boss doesn't care about my needs
• My kids won't give me space
• My brother/sister/mother/father treats me bad
• My friends are holding me back
• My genetics keep me from succeeding
• My lifestyle forces me to live my life this way
• My schedule keeps me from exercising and eating right

Crap, crap, and more crap. YOU are the only person who is now - or ever has been - responsible for the pain that you experience in life. Here is a short and simple way to remember this:

If it happened to you, then you were a part of it.

You may not have directly asked for something negative to come your way, or to be injured, or to get fired, or to have a relationship end badly, but if you were there at all (and you were!), then you share in the responsibility of the negative circumstances that are now causing you pain.

If you keep blaming other people or the outside world for your pain, then you will simply be handing over the reigns of your life to other people or to the outside world. You will continue to experience pain that is allegedly because of other people until you learn to take responsibility for the decisions that you make.

Remember, the goal here is personal growth. What exactly have you learned if it's always someone else's fault?

WHAT'S NEXT?

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