Let Go Of Your Past

The story you tell about how you had a rough start because you were always sick as a kid. The idea that you were a challenging child, or an easygoing child. That you were bright, or creative, or rebellious. The way that story developed into your current ideas about how you ended up the way you are. Do you think that is who you are, the culmination of those stories? What if you let that go, just let it all go? What if you let go of your attachment to that manufactured idea of who you are?

Let Go Of Your Desires

What if you let go of the idea that you’re a morning person, that you’re a cat person, that you’re a vegetarian. That you don’t like traveling, that you do like reading, that you prefer dark colors to pastels. That you’d probably find your soulmate sooner if you could lose that extra twenty pounds. That you wouldn’t crave a soulmate so much if you could just get a job where you made more money. That you wouldn’t crave money so much if you could just find your soulmate. That both your work life and your dating life would pick up if you just moved to a bigger city, a smaller town, a different state.

Let Go Of Your Self Judgments

That you need a faster computer, a newer car, or a bigger apartment. That you have too many sins on your slate to wipe it clean. That your lover will leave if you don’t start being more like what they want. That you need to slow down and enjoy life more. That you need to hurry up and start making the most of your life. That there is a way to measure how full your life is. That someone else can help you decide how to take those measurements.

Let Go Of Your Fixed Ideas Of How Things Are

What if you let go of your ideas about your favorite foods, your most comfortable jeans, or your happiest memory? Your proudest moment, your deepest regret, your most intense longing. Your dreams for the future, your fears for the future, your expectations for the future. Your ideas about how other people are, which ones can be trusted, and which ones cannot. Your religious beliefs, your political stance, your ideas about whether or not you are a likable person.

Letting Go Is Liberating

The idea that who you are is a factor of where you grew up, who your parents were, and what kind of education you received. That things are getting better, that things are getting worse, that one brand name is better than another. All these attachments you have to all these ideas . . . what if you really, truly let them go? Even just for a moment? Collect everything you are and everything you think and just let at all go. What is left of you now? Can you see who you are after letting go? Now, let that go, too! It is amazing how liberating it is to keep practicing letting go.

Now hang on, before you go accusing me of male-bashing, have a look at the facts. For more than two millennia nothing has changed – when a man creates his own empire, it’s perfectly acceptable for him to go out and bend things to suit him, and in fact he’s praised for it. “He never let anything stop him from his goals” is considered a compliment. But when a woman does the same thing, she’s called willful, a coldhearted bitch, or even worse.

Developing A Healthy Attitude Towards Achieving Your Dreams

Now, I’m not saying that women should go out there and act selfishly to prove a point. Of course not. But I do think that we could all use a healthier attitude toward achieving our dreams, and celebrating others when they embrace their abilities and make the most of what they can do.

If all of us, both men and women, could embrace the philosophy that there is enough in the universe to give everyone what they need, then we could let go of this archaic notion that women have to choose between being good little subservient wives and mothers, or having the word “feminist” thrown at them as an insult. As if there were no in betweens.

I’d like to offer a few suggestions about how you can promote yourself without fear of being perceived as a selfish bitch, without feeling like you’re doing something wrong by offering your talents to the world, and without worrying that you might offend all the wrong people and end up worse off than when you started.

Promote Yourself!

One: Remember that everything you see and experience externally is actually you projecting the stories you tell yourself onto others. It’s frustrating, but it’s also the key to turning your perceptions around. If you start healing your own beliefs and start telling yourself a new story, it’s surprising how soon the new story becomes true for you. No longer do you have to believe that men have opportunities that women don’t, or that self promotion is something only shameless attention whores do.

Two: Remember that you are the source. If you ask yourself who you think the source is of money, energy, or whatever else in yourself, and you believe the answer is outside yourself, then you definitely have some work to do on refocusing.

Three: Try testing out the new stories you’re creating for yourself. Promote yourself out loud and see what happens. Do people accuse you of shameless self promotion? And if they do, does the world stop spinning? Some people will love what you do, and some people will hate it, but remember that they’re all projecting their own internal stories, too. What they think about you generally has very little to do with you, so don’t take it personally. Sometimes there’s a process of “getting over it” that can sting a bit at first. It means you have to face your fears, in this case promoting yourself, and stare at it until it isn’t such a big deal anymore. It may seem uncomfortable in the beginning, but as with any other anxiety, the longer you immerse yourself in it, the less anxious you become. You’ll heal your own insecurities, and soon self promotion will be no big deal anymore!

This meant that I was probably going to go along crying through my day, feeling miserable and not at all in the mood to smile and be cheerful. I resented that this had to happen right now, when I had a full schedule. I wasn’t really feeling like this was an appropriate time for a meltdown!

Spend Time With Your Tears

But because I fully trust my practice, I know that the best thing for me is not to suppress or conceal whatever needs to be dealt with, but to go ahead and work through it and get things taken care of. I have to deal with whatever I have at the moment and allow myself to feel and heal as necessary. In this case it meant I cried all through my visit to the salon, before my radio show, after my radio show, during my acupuncture appointment, in my car . . . pretty much through the whole day.

Coming Out The Other Side

And at the end of it all, I knew the message of the dreams. It was simple: I needed to have a cry. Nothing more sinister than that. I had some stuff simmering below the surface, some grief and sadness I hadn’t dealt with. Eventually, it boiled up to the surface and demanded my full attention. The difference between the me of now and the me of a decade ago is that these days I know that loving myself means allowing myself to feel okay about crying, okay about expressing any feeling that I need to express. The people who witnessed my crying responded in kind with Kleenex and hugs. Amazing how that happens!

When I checked my e-mail later in the day, I noticed that a friend had sent me this Hopi prayer. Even as soon as I had unburdened myself of my emotional baggage, gifts were already starting to come back to me in an expression of the Divine. I was so moved, I thought I’d share the prayer with you, just in case you have some things in your own heart that you need to deal with and could use a little encouragement. Enjoy!

Hopi Message

“You have been telling the people that this is the Eleventh Hour. Now you must go back and tell the people that this is the Hour. And there are things to be considered: Where are you living? What are you doing? What are your relationships? Are you in right relationship? Where is your water? Know your garden.

It is a time to speak your Truth. Create your community. Be good to each other. And do not look outside yourself for the leader. This could be a good time!

There is a river flowing now very fast. It is so great and swift that there are those who will be afraid. They will try to hold on to the shore. They will feel they are being torn apart, and they will suffer greatly.

Know the river has its destination. The elders say we must let go of the shore, push off into the middle of the river. See who is in there with you, and celebrate.

At this time in history we are to take nothing personally. Least of all ourselves. For the moment that we do, our spiritual growth and journey comes to a halt.

The time of the lone wolf is over. Gather yourselves! Banish the word “struggle” from your attitude and your vocabulary. All that we do now must be done in a sacred manner and in celebration.

We are the ones we’ve been waiting for.

Historically speaking,  ALL change has given humans  the opportunity to adapt and evolve  -  over tens of thousands of years  -  into who we are today. Sometimes the smallest, seemingly most insignificant changes have enabled humans to eventually make giant evolutionary leaps.

On both a collective and individual level, we create the change necessary to achieve our dreams. Yet even when change is desireable, we find that change is not always easy. . . .

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Why Most People Fail To Achieve Their Dreams

Most people fail to achieve their dreams because their dreams are TOO BIG. Deciding to lose 50 pounds. Getting a college degree.  Owning a successful business. Those are all pretty tall orders.  Just thinking about the enormity of those big dreams can cause some people to psych themselves out. They see the entire mile of road stretched out in front of them. Their dream seems too far away, too distant to achieve. They become daunted and disheartened and give up before they start. Supersizing your dreams can have the unintended effect of preventing desireable change.

Inch By Inch Life Is A Cinch

Remember when you were young and just learning to ride a bicycle? You weren’t popping wheelies the first day! You probably started out riding a little red tricycle. Then, when you got your first Big Kid bike, you rode around with training wheels for a few months. After the training wheels came off, dad steadied your bike until you learned to balance on your own. Little by little, you gained the confidence and the skills to perform fancy tricks – like riding with no hands . . . .  Okay, maybe not. The point is, you eventually achieved your goal by taking small steps and practicing every day. The same principle you used as a child applies to achieving your dreams today. Take baby steps. Small, achievable steps in the direction of your dream are easy to make. For example, instead of telling yourself that you have to lose 50 pounds, begin your commitment to a healthy lifestyle by adding a salad before every meal. Take a single night class to start working toward your college degree. Get to know the business you want to eventually own by starting in an entry-level position and working your way up. Doing one little thing at a time can turn that Mount Everest into a bunny slope. The Bonus: when you succeed at small things, your confidence builds, making it even EASIER to change your life!

Rewire Your Brain

The only way to make these little changes stick is to rewire your brain. You need to untrain your brain from its old habits, and retrain your brain for change.  But remember, old habits die hard! The best method for rewiring your brain is to practice, practice, practice. Practice your little step in the direction of your dream every single day for 30 days. This is how long it takes for changes to become wired into your brain. And you have to be disciplined. The 30 days have to be consecutive. No Fair Cheating! If you skip a day, you short-circuit your attempts at rewiring your brain. Be patient with yourself and with the process. You can make a decision at the end of the 30 days whether to commit to this change, if you believe the change has been positive. Finally, try this Experiment:  Make one small positive change that brings you closer to your goal every 30 days. Do this for one year. At the end of the year, look back and see how much your life has changed for the better!

What one little thing are you going to change? Let us know!

Sadly, we forget about the most important person in the world. We forget about ouselves. We forget about Me. Before we know it, we have run out of steam. Life becomes a habit and a chore and not the joy it was meant to be.

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line.  You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.”  - Lucille Ball

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Me Time

“Me Time” is the time you take to take care of yourself. It is the time you take to escape from the pressures of everyday life, to enjoy yourself, to make yourself whole. Ideally, Me Time is something you do everyday, maybe even several times a day. Me Time is anything that helps you relax and feel good about yourself. Me Time enables you to Love Yourself First.

Make Yourself Happy First

We all want our loved ones to be happy and to please our boss. But no one can give 100% if they are tired, worn out and overwhelmed. Me Time is so important because we cannot make others happy unless we are happy, first. Me Time recharges our battery and allows us to quietly focus our attention on what is really important. We become calm and centered and better able to deal with the everyday bumps along the road of life. As a result, we are able to give more of ourselves to others. Me Time is an investment in yourself, for yourself. And the dividends pay off big! The beneficiaries include our family, friends, co-workers and community at large. Have you ever noticed how when you smile at a stranger, their face lights up in a smile as well? People just seem to respond better to someone who is genuinely happy.

How To Take Care Of You

There are so many things you can do for yourself everyday to  make yourself happy. Enjoy a quiet cup of coffee in the morning before everyone else wakes up. Do some yoga stretches to improve your strength, flexibility and mental focus. Take a walk outside during lunch or go to the gym. Download music or audiobooks to enjoy during your commute. Meditate while gardening.  Play fetch with your favorite pooch. Once a month, you can splurge and treat yourself to something really special. Visit your local spa for a massage or a pedicure. If you enjoy the arts, purchase a season ticket for the symphony or a membership at the arts museum. Sports fans can do the same to cheer on their favorite team. If you’re saying to yourself right now “No, I really don’t have the time or the money to do something like that!,” remember that this as an investment in yourself. You are worth it!

What Me Time activity do you do to make yourself happy? Let us know!

Some people really do put their lives on hold, waiting to live the life of their dreams.  True happiness eludes them.  And so, some people discover, too late, that life has passed them by.  You can live the life of your dreams – not next year or in five years - but Today!

The amazing part is, living your dreams today does not require wealth, connections, or a genius IQ.  It’s fun, it’s free and it’s right here, right now!

“The best way to live the life of your dreams is to start living the life of your dreams Today, in every little way that you possibly can.”  - Mike Dooley

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Don’t Ruminate About The Past Or Dream Of The Perfect Future

Some people become mired in the past, thinking about regrets or missed opportunities.  They believe their dreams would have come true if only they had finished college or if only they had come from a wealthy family.  Others wait to really live their lives until they have achieved their goals.  They dream of how perfect life will be sometime in the future.  They believe they will be happy as soon as they buy that house, or as soon as they find Mr. Right.  Living in the past or idealizing the future only prevents you from living life in the present.  When you focus on the past or the future, you fail to enjoy the Now.  Forget the past and don’t worry about the future.  As Master Oogway once told Po, the panda, in Kung Fu Panda:

“Quit, don’t quit.  Noodles, don’t noodles. You are too concerned about what was and what will be.  There is a saying:  yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery,  but today is a gift.  That is why it is called the ‘present.’ “

Live Life In The Present

Enjoy life by living in the present.  Don’t wait to start enjoying your life  someday – Today is that Day!   Start living a part of your dreams now.  You can do this by doing little things everyday that make you feel as if you are already living your dream.  Enjoy a cup of coffee in that luxury hotel in which you’ve dreamed of staying.  Go to the dealership and sit in the Mercedes you want to buy.  Buy the outfit that makes you feel like a top executive.   Save money every day so that you can literally visualize your Financial Freedom.  When you start doing little things like this every day, you will feel as if you are presently living your dream.  You will begin to feel the abundance of living in the present.  You will feel the great feeling of gratitude for what you have now.   Living in the present will help you live the life of your dreams now.

Live Your Dreams Now

You don’t have to live your life thinking you would be happy “if only”  your dreams would come true.  When you visualize yourself living your dreams everyday and take every small step possible toward actualizing your dreams every single day, you will be living your dreams now.  You will enjoy the experience of staying in the luxury hotel.  You will feel as great as if you really owned that Mercedes.  You will feel as confident as a top executive.    You will watch your money grow and enjoy the feeling of Financial Freedom.  Living your dreams - now and everyday – is the best and quickest way to live the life of your dreams.  Give yourself the gift of the present by starting to live your dreams today.

What do you do everyday to live your dreams?  Let us know!

Finding the right organizational tools takes a lot of time and effort, but here are some great tools that can help you get started organizing your business, school tasks, home remodel or anything else in your life that needs organizing!

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5pm

5pm is an excellent scheduling tool that by far surpasses the other scheduling tools available. 5pm is a low cost website that offers an interactive scheduling interface that you can share with others, allowing you to view and edit different tasks for yourself and anyone else you have working with you. You can access your 5pm schedule from anywhere - not just at home or work.

Other popular alternatives to 5pm, including Basecamp and Zoho Projects just didn’t measure up to what you can do with 5pm project management.

Google Calendar

The creative geniuses behind Google have created a free, online calendar that you can use and access from anywhere as well as share with others. You can have multiple calendars and multiple people working on the same calendar, so everyone knows what’s going on and when.

Google Docs

Another great inception from Google is their Google Docs application. Similar to Microsoft Word and Microsoft Excel, you can create both documents and spreadsheets to share with others.  You can access your documents from anywhere, and you can even have multiple people viewing and editing the same document. There is also a chat box within the document that allows you to have a real time conversation with anyone who is viewing or editing the document.

Mozy

Mozy is an excellent tool to use if you have a lot of information on your computer that needs to be backed up on a daily basis. For just $5/mo per computer, you can have Mozy automatically back up your files each night on an offsite server, so you know your information is safe no matter what happens.

We checked out the popular alternatives, including Carbonite and Dropbox, but in the end the simplicity of Mozy for “brain-dead simple backups that just works” won us over. And after a few months we’ve very happy with our decision.

YouSendIt

Sending files to people via email can be difficult, especially if the files are quite large. Uploading it using a free email service such as Yahoo or Hotmail is even harder. YouSendIt is an inexpensive online application that allows you to send files to other people quickly and easily, no matter what the file size.

Earth Class Mail

Earth Class Mail is an online service, much like a P.O. box, that will take your physical paper mail, scan it in and let you access it electronically – with an interface that looks a lot like email. You never have to deal with letters, post cards or the like again. You can access your mail from anywhere, and for a fee they’ll even deposit checks directly to your bank. Earth Class Mail is an excellent option for doctors, lawyers, home business professionals or anyone that just wants to go paperless.

Even if you’re not looking to replace your mailbox with a digital alternative… if you have your own business and don’t necessarily want your home address available to everyone, consider using a service like Earth Class Mail for your public mailing address.

Pandora

With all of the organizing you’re doing, you might want to kick back and relax a bit with some tunes. Pandora is a great option for Internet radio, allowing you to build your own musical selection by choosing songs that you like while Pandora loads in musically similar songs. Feel free to let Pandora know if there’s a song you don’t like, and they won’t play it again. The more you listen to Pandora and interact with it, the more customized your own personal Internet radio station becomes.

Yesterday morning, however, was different. Gratitude was replaced by anxiety as I counted up my sleep and decided it was enough. I stopped only briefly to ask my husband in passing whether he’d slept well. In retrospect, I was feeding the wrong wolf, but there I went, wandering further in the wrong direction.

I started worrying about time, and specifically lack of it. Check-in for our flight was at 8:00, it was now nearly 6:30, and I stood in my pajamas wondering if the weather was going to be a problem. Heavy rains were just starting, and were scheduled to get even heavier. As I started getting ready, I pictured every kind of weather-related plane disaster imaginable.

Is Anxiety Controlling You?

When we got to the airport, there were no delays, which I thought was a good sign. In the plane, I was glad to find a place to stow my bag, and then the anxiety started creeping back into my thoughts. Get out of the aisle, you’re in the way, the chances of you and David dying together in a plane crash are infinitesimal. The thought comforted me in an odd way. I went further with my theories: I’ve known two people who died on planes, so the chances of it happening to me as well are pretty much non-existent. But there’s always terrorism. Could any of these people be carrying a weapon?

I had to step in and intervene in this line of thought. The way I was going, toward total insanity and paranoia, was neither helpful nor enjoyable. I reminded myself that every time I’ve ever taken a flight, I do this same thing – I look for ways that things could end in death, and guess what? I’m still alive.

I decided to lay down the law with myself. I could either spend the rest of my life avoiding flying and worrying about terrorists, or I could just accept the great Divine that is God, and that I have a purpose on the earth that I am here to fulfill. When that mission is over, it’s over, and no amount of anxiety or stress is going to affect that. Admitting that to myself, hearing that truth in my head, allowed me to relax and enjoy the rest of the journey.

Overcoming Anxiety And Fear

This is a far cry from how I was in earlier years, not even able to venture out of my house, much less get on an airplane. Without medication, it was a certainly a struggle to heal my anxiety disorder, but now, on the plane, I could enjoy the luxury of feeling pleased with how far I’ve come.

I’d like to take a moment to tell another old story. There was a Shaman who, on the night of each full moon, would sit with the village children and recount the story of the white wolf and the dark wolf. These were two wolves who had been adversaries since the dawn of time. The white wolf thrives on truth, kindness, and love. The dark wolf, on the other hand, gains his strength from hatred, fear, and lies. The two wolves would battle again and again, and each time the children heard the story, they would ask which wolf wins in the end. The shaman’s answer was simple: “The wolf that wins is the one you feed!” And so it is.

My time here at Today is that Day has been nothing less than wonderful, and I am very glad that the blog posts and other content from the site will most likely still remain available even after the new owners get done moving things around. The community that has been built around this site is the most empowering and uplifting group of people that I have ever been exposed to, and I am grateful that via the power of the Internet, I will still be able to interact with many of you.

My own life has changed drastically over the last year, and all of the changes have been for the best! I got married to my wonderful new wife, Shanna, and we live on the east coast of Florida which is a dream come true for both of us. I have rejoined the U.S. Military as an Air National Guard soldier, and I will spend 6 months at Keesler Air Force Base in Mississippi during 2009 learning all sorts of cool, high-tech stuff. My military affiliation will be financing a full-time college education that will also be in the high-tech arena. In addition, I have finally launched the incredible health & fitness website: Surfside Fitness, which is a project that I have been working on for more than 6 months. The result of that work is a beautiful new site that will be an awesome resource for a great many people.

Surfside Fitness is where I will be spending most of my online time, and with major props once again being given to my incredible designer, Jason Larose, I am looking forward to helping thousands of people to attain high levels of health and fitness via that site. I got it completed just in time for the fresh start that 2009 will bring for all of us!

Surfside Fitness is more than just a website and blog, however. The site comes complete with:

• A full suite of services including Fitness Consulting, Online Fitness Training, Program Evaluation, and lots more
• A fitness blog that will be updated several times each week, and a plan is already in place to ensure not only frequent updates, but very high quality health and fitness content as well
• A free health and fitness community that is simple to use, yet packed with tons of features like personal blogs, video uploads, picture uploads, groups, forums, and more
• Frequently updated videos and featured products that will be more than just a stale rotation of old content. The video and product updates will be coming straight from the cutting edge of the health and fitness arena

Since my primary goal with Today is that Day has always been to empower people to believe that they can take control over their lives and build those lives to be wonderful, I want to leave with a parting message:

Never, ever, EVER GIVE UP!

For my wife and I, 2008 has been one of the hardest years of our lives. We have had every imaginable difficulty, and some difficulties that you probably CAN'T imagine. To say that we had to struggle this year in order to get to where we are now would be a radical understatement.

We made it through the fire by sticking to our guns and staying focused on our goals!

There were no hand outs, no easy streets, no miracle cures, and no safety nets. We have had to fight, kick, scratch, and bite for every ounce of success that we have had, and if we had given up, then none of these wonderful things would have happened in our lives.

We sit poised on the brink of a new year that – although there will still be challenges – we are better armed from every conceivable level to achieve success than we have ever been in the past.

We got to this point by believing in ourselves, believing in each other, and keeping our eyes on the prize.

Stay focused on what you want, never give up reaching for it, and your success is guaranteed.

I'll look forward to seeing you all out there wherever our paths cross again, and in the meantime, remember to always enjoy your life. If you're not having fun, what's the point??

You don't need to look any further than the almost universal desire that people have for more money in order to see this concept in action. People jump through all manner of hoops in order to gain financial freedom, but even if they had a mountain of money in front of them, if they didn't do anything with it, then it would just be a useless pile of paper.

Photo Credit: Txt2Pic.comIt is not what we GET in life that matters, because life is handing us new opportunities every single day. Rather, it is what we DO with those opportunities that will ensure not only our long-term success, but our day-to-day happiness as well.

The Dream Job

Every person has their own rendition of what their "dream job" is, so what would you do if you actually attained it?

• Would you just show up for work every day, but not do any actual work?
• Would you stop working towards future success and advancements?
• Would you ignore opportunities to demonstrate the skills or experience that you used to get the job to begin with?

A "dream job" without a corresponding effort on your part to show that you are worthy of that job is nothing more than an opportunity for you to end up standing in the soup line.

The Dream Body

Yep, we've all pictured it in our heads at one time or another, right? Those firm muscles, tight curves, and sculpted features are things that most people give thought to, and for some people, it is an on-going quest that lasts for decades. What would you do if you got your "dream body," though?

• Would you start eating junk food like it was going out of style?
• Would you stop exercising effectively and on a very consistent basis?
• Would you pick up every unhealthy habit that you could get your hands on?

A "dream body" is made up of both the mental and the physical work that it takes to get that body to begin with. If you stop doing that work, then your "dream body" will once again become nothing but a far off goal that you can't quite get your hands on.

The Dream Relationship

Who hasn't dreamed of their "soul mate" at one time or another, or at least dreamed of the guy or girl that would keep them satisfied on an emotional or physical level? That "dream relationship," however, is not something that can be won, but then just ignored.

• If you are a certain person in the beginning of a happy relationship, do you honestly think that relationship will stay happy if you start acting like a different person?
• If you have certain goals or dreams that are shared by your significant other, but your goals or dreams change, is it your significant other's fault when the relationship starts to crumble?
• If you are a family man or woman, but suddenly you decide to recapture your college glory days of keg parties and panty raids, do you honestly think that is going to fly?

A relationship – by definition – is made up of 2 people harmoniously sharing their life experiences. If one person changes drastically from how they were in the beginning of the relationship, the possibility that the other person will change enough to balance things out is minimal at best.

The moral of the story here is that the attainment of success – no matter how thrilling – is simply a moment in time when you realize that you have won. After that moment has passed, it is time for you to step up to the plate and consistently prove that you are worthy of that success.

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The truth of the matter is that in order for change to occur – on both an individual scale, as well as a global scale – holding on to the way things "used to be" is a recipe for nothing but a modern-day remake of the same mistakes that we have already made in our lives, and on our planet.

Photo Credit: KadhaIf we want true, lasting change to occur, then we must realize that change means change, it does not mean wrapping the old life up in a new package and then presenting it again as if it's all new. It's like that ridiculous advertising slogan "New and Improved". Something can't be new AND improved – it has to be one or the other!

Nostalgia for Days gone By

One of the biggest reasons why people cling to their old patterns despite an innate need to move forward is nothing more complex than that wonderful emotion of nostalgia.

Our lives, no matter how hectic or chaotic they may be, are filled with "sweet spots" that are permanently ingrained in our memories and on our hearts. We remember "back when," or "that time when," or "how it used to be".

Those memories and the emotions that they invoke are wonderful, and to forget or bury them would be nothing less than criminal. However, living from them is just as much of a crime! Your glory days from the past are just that – in the past. No matter how wonderful those days were, they are gone now, and you need to come to terms with that.

You should cherish your past, and learn from your past, and apply what your past has taught you, but your life will never move forward if you are hooked on "the good ol' days". Recognize your past for its positive aspects, utilize the contrast from the negative aspects as a marker for what to avoid in the future, and then let it all go.

Your past – no matter how powerful it may be – is gone. An exponentially more powerful and more glorious future, on the other hand, is nothing but a thought and a commitment away. 

A Comfort Zone that needs to be Broken out Of

The other main reason why people tend to color their futures with the hues of their past is simply the fact that they are used to doing things that way.

I'm not talking about the standard self improvement dogma about getting outside of your comfort zone – we've all heard that one a thousand times. No, I am talking about the fact that people simply don't do what it takes to create and maintain new habits that cause their lives to be significantly different than they have been in the past.

Each of us is guilty of it on some level or other, but we don't realize our guilt because we are so used to doing things that way that it feels natural to us. Just because something feels natural does NOT mean that it should be a part of your life!

When I was a kid, I lived one quarter mile from a very busy set of railroad tracks. Those trains were very loud, and they came through many, many times every day and every night. After a few years, though, I stopped hearing them. They became such a natural background noise that I didn't even consciously hear them anymore.

Just because I got used to living close to the train tracks does not mean that I would want to live there again!

Our ability to get used to something – even something challenging or difficult – does not automatically mean that we should make that thing a part of our lives. If our habits – no matter how steeped in antiquity they may be – do not take our lives in the direction that we want to go, then those habits need to fall by the wayside.

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I have used the term "if nothing changes, then nothing changes" in so many of my writings that I have literally lost count. I don't keep repeating it because it sounds cool, but rather because it is the truth of our existence.

The more things change, the more they stay the same? I call B.S.!! The more things change, the more they NEED to change.

Anything less is just a carbon copy that is getting more and more faded the more times you copy it.

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Now, I would never recommend that someone just “give up” – far from it. However, there is something to be said for reevaluating any given situation and deciding that starting from scratch – now armed with new knowledge and experience – is simply a more effective or enjoyable use of your time.

In my recent move to the beach, there were many “must haves” that were part of the process, and by checking out the following examples, you can get an idea of how to make a fresh start in your own life, if and when the time comes to do so.

1) Decide what you want AND what you don’t want

Knowing what you want is only half the battle, because it is very easy to miss critical details if you don’t also consider what you don’t want your new life to include.

The primary goal when I moved was to get close to the beach – close being defined as walking distance. The initial search for a place was very fruitful, and there were more places to look at than there was time to do so. By the end of a full day spent looking at properties on Florida’s Space Coast, it seemed that the biggest hurdle was going to be deciding which one was the best!

However, as the details were discussed and properties started being weeded out for various reasons, it became very clear that the north/south location of the house was a bigger factor than originally realized. By putting both a northern and a southern “line in the sand” on the map, the search for a house instantly became much more productive because the desired area had now been so clearly defined. The initial search spanned almost 20 miles of coastline, while the updated search encompassed only about 6 miles.

The perfect beach side home was not found until the realization was made that there were northern and southern boundaries that I did NOT want to cross. That focus fueled the remainder of the search, and it was less than a week after making that realization that a lease was signed on the new home.

2) Define just what it is that you’ll be doing with your new life

It’s easy to say things like “I want a great relationship,” or “I want more money, “ or “I want to lose weight”. However, those types of vague assertions about what you want will only focus vague energies on the process of actually attaining them.

In my case, part of the plan when moving to the beach was to start a new fitness related business based in a coastal community. After spending 3 years as a personal trainer – and then voluntarily walking away from that life – I had to ask myself how this was going to be any different than the last time. What type of business was I going to build that would have all of the joys and benefits of the fitness lifestyle, but without the drawbacks that caused me to back away from that path before?

The answer – I am ecstatically proud to reveal – came in the form of Surfside Fitness and the absolutely magical work of my graphic and web designer, Jason LaRose. I defined the business model and Jason brought it all to life with incredible skill, professionalism, and vision. I don’t know what I was more excited about – the detailed business model that I came up with, or how well Jason brought it all to full-color life.

Click my beautiful Surfside Fitness logo to check out the splash page of the site, and while you’re clicking, be sure to visit Jason’s site and hire him to bring his magic into your world as well.

3) Realize the contrast between your new life and the old life

The age-old definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, yet expecting a different result. If you don’t do things differently than you did before, then you haven’t recreated anything – you’ve just copied and pasted.

How are YOU going to be different in your new life? It’s not just about picturing yourself with all of the joys and trappings of the new life that you want to create, because that is just putting the same habits and lifestyle choices that you have now into a world that looks a bit different. If YOU aren’t different, then your new life will not be any different than the old life.

In my situation, it was a matter of getting back into the “public eye”. I have done the majority of the writing that I have done at Today is that Day for almost 2 years while living a comparably secluded lifestyle. I have worked from home or at local coffee shops for the majority of the time, and a business like Surfside Fitness cannot be run from a coffee shop!

My contrast will be going from a life of almost seclusion to a life of being out in public almost every day. The last time I lived that lifestyle I was well on my way to attaining a 6-figure income…

4) Check your old habits at the door

A conscious decision like the one discussed above to be a different person is all well and good, but what about those nasty habits that will be leftover from your previous lifestyle? Any habits that take you away from the dream life that you are building need to be kicked to the curb.

In my case, it is electronic communication. I’ll admit it now in front of all the world that I am an Internet junkie! I send an email when I should call someone. I go to Google when I could just pick up the yellow pages or call information. I send text messages or leave comments instead of just having real-time communication.

Yep, I’m hooked! However, now that I am the figurehead and the primary trainer for a brand-new, ultra-cool fitness company, I’ll need to give my keyboard something of a break. The Internet and my blogs will always be a part of both my business and my personal life, but as the owner of a “real world” company, I need to kick the electronic habit and start communicating with people more often in real world ways.

5) Make a serious commitment to yourself

In today’s day and age, starting a “business” can be as quick and easy as putting together a website, and that level of ease also brings with it the danger of not taking things as seriously as we sometimes should.

Life is meant to be enjoyed and – as a general rule – should not be taken too seriously. However, at the same time, if long-term success or happiness is the goal, then something more than just a token effort will probably need to be applied.

My example of this is with regard to my own level of health and fitness. If I am going to teach and lead others to fitness success, then I have to be in great shape myself. As regular readers know, I started the P90X home fitness program 3 months ago, and stuck with it through the duration – right up until the last week and half that is!

The P90X program is a 90-day system, which ends up being a total of 13 weeks of training. Mid-way through week 12, I simply ran out of time. Between packing, moving, painting my old house, unpacking at the new house, and fixing some things that needed to be fixed there, I simply ran out of daylight every day. I was up at 6:00am, out the door by around 7:00am, and not home again until late that night, and then I repeated that sequence every day. There was simply no time available to exercise for an hour each day, so I had a tough decision to make.

Do I “give up” on P90X and just say that I ALMOST finished the program? Do I “pad” the truth and say that I finished it, even though I only made it through 11 1/2 weeks?

Well, I am not the type to lie or to even stretch the truth, nor am I the type to “almost” finish something. So, I did the next best thing:

I committed to start all over again!

Yup, I’m insane like that. Well, at least that’s how it seems, but the truth of the matter is that I am not crazy, I am just committed to my career and to leading by example. That type of commitment takes serious will power, but it also leads to serious success.

The key thing to remember here is that a new life requires CHANGE. You can’t hold onto a previous life if you want to build a new life. I’ve said it many times before, and I’ll probable say it many times more:

If nothing changes, then nothing changes!

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Back on June 16, 2008 I wrote the post The Winds of Change will sometimes Ruffle your Sails, and in that post I made the public commitment that I would find a way to move to the east coast of Florida within 60 days in order to start a new business. We signed the lease on our beach-side condo 32 days later!

Photo Credit: Robert RussellWe did not pull off such an impressive accomplishment by just sitting around hoping that it would happen, however. There were tangible, "real world" factors that went into our success, and there were intangible, impossible to predict factors as well. The point of this post is for you to realize that success does not come from sitting around wishing for it, but neither does it only come from working hard.

Success is most often a potent combination of your own efforts, as well as factors that you couldn't possibly predict in advance.

Tangible Success Factors

As I indicated back in my original post when I stated my intention to move to the beach within 60 days, there were "real world" products and services that I offered up in order to make that happen. Despite my iron-clad belief that I would manifest whatever circumstances were necessary in order to achieve my goal, I still didn't just sit around waiting for the success wagon to pull up in front of my house. I went out there and chased the success wagon down!

I knew that coming up with additional funding was going to be critical to moving to a coastal area, and at the beginning of the journey (barely 1 month ago!), neither myself nor my girlfriend had any additional money outside of what our monthly bills were costing us.

So, rather than sitting around waiting for the success genie to drop a free ride into my lap, I actively went out and worked towards my goals:

• I offered products – My own electronic products from 2 years of personal development work continue to be a source of value for all who have purchased them, and I leveraged that in order to help facilitate this move.
• I offered services – Although I have no interest in a career as a blog developer, I do have skills with WordPress, so I offered those skills as a way to help other people out. 3 people took me up on it, to the tune of over $500 towards the cause. (Maija Karin Photography, Privateer Nation, Power Sharing)
• I offered discount memberships – My Personal Development Partners site continues to be a source of inspiration and networking for the members, and also a store house of a ton of great self improvement and personal development information. The lifetime membership option there was taken advantage of by 3 of the members of the site. (Gia, Dr. Hal, and Jeniffer Karas)
• I did manual labor – Just because I'm a computer whiz doesn't mean that I can't get out there and work my butt off. I helped people move, I pulled weeds, I planted trees – heck, I almost got sun stroke one day. I kept my goal in mind, however, and I didn't let a bit of back-breaking work frighten me away from my goal!
• I sold things from my past that were not going to serve my future – Like most people, I had a ton of crap that I was holding onto, but never using. None of those things had anything to do with the business or the life that I want on the coast, so I just sold them on Craigslist. Not only am I free and clear from those things that I associate with my past, but now we don't have to move them, either!

You should note 2 very important things about the list of activities that I engaged in to facilitate this move:

1. I did not stick to any "one" thing as the solution to coming up with more money. I kept my options open and I took action in many different directions at once.
2. I did not limit my options by "classifying" myself. I did everything from skilled technical work, to inspirational and empowering writing, to manual labor. Each and every one of those activities brought income to the equation.

Intangible Success Factors

Despite the success of the "real world" efforts that I listed above, the intangible efforts were just as important to my success. There were things that were part of my success that I could not possibly have foreseen, and that was the result of 3 radically important things that I did every single day during the manifestation of my desires:

1. I visualized what I wanted - Every morning, every night, and sometimes even during the day, I kept a picture in my mind of what I would see once I was living at the beach. Did it work? The condo that we signed a lease on is literally 300 steps from the sand. I could walk from my door to the sand with my eyes closed.
2. I kept a sense of expectation – There were plenty of times over the last month or so that doubt wanted to creep in, but I never let it get a foot hold. I kept the attitude every single day not that it MIGHT happen, but that it definitely WOULD happen.
3. I stayed focused on a specific goal – In the beginning, we actually had about a 20-mile stretch of beach that we were willing to live near as long as the house itself was close enough to the sand. After an entire day of looking at properties and making phone calls, however, we decided that it had to be either Cape Canaveral or Cocoa Beach, FL, which are collectively only about 8 miles of sand. Within 3 days of making the rock-solid decision that it had to be Cocoa or the Cape, we found our place 300 steps from the beach in Cape Canaveral.

Unforeseen Circumstances

My visualizing, my sense of expectation, and the laser-focus on exactly what I wanted brought things into the equation that I could not possibly have foreseen:

• Advertisers that I had never even heard of before purchased ad space here at Today is that Day and also at Fitness Destinations. That was all bonus money for the housing fund.
• Visitors to this site purchased affiliate products that have been advertised here for almost a year, yet had not had any new sales in many months. My commission on those sales went straight into the housing fund.
• Some very generous readers who are also fellow bloggers made donations to the cause, and they know who they are, so I will just take this opportunity to thank them again! Each of the people who donate
  d are also paying members over at PDP, so their continued generosity was a welcome and unexpected gift.
• The person who owns the condo that we are moving into (thanks again, Renee!!) had the old tenant moving out the same day that we went to look at it, and she agreed that if we were willing to clean the place up, she wouldn't charge us a deposit. We signed the lease with nothing but the 1st month's rent. How often does THAT happen anymore???

There were numerous other "synchronicities" that came into play as far as people helping us out, giving us guidance, or helping to keep us on track, and that in itself could be an entire wonderful story. I'll stop there, because by now you should get the point that the unforeseen circumstances were just as much a part of this success as the "real world" efforts that were made.

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The moral to this entire, joyous success story is that not only did I get what I wanted, but that I got it through a combination of both tangible and intangible success factors. If you have been putting all of your faith in one system or the other, why don't you try combining BOTH?

You might be shocked and amazed at the incredible results that you bring into your life!

By the way, if you are curious about the health and fitness business that is going to be one of the results of this success story, be sure to check out my profile over at Bob Doyle's 45-day Boundless Living Challenge. I'll be discussing the entire journey and all of the awesome business details over there!

p.s. – I need to go pack, paint, and do maintenance on the house that we are moving out of and renting, so I'll be "off the grid" for awhile. Look for the next post here at Today is that Day to be typed up from the beach!

WHAT'S NEXT?

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It seems simplistic to say that in order to get what we want, we need to first know exactly what that is, yet defining the exact details of our desires is often not as easily done as we think. Without a proper understanding of the specifics of our desires, it is very easy to end up wasting time as well as mental capital focusing our attention in the wrong direction.

Photo Credit:  v floresThe missing piece to the success puzzle is not so much having the opportunities to achieve success, but rather first knowing exactly what it is that we want. It is critical to not only have a “general” idea of our desires, but to also plug in the very specific factors that need to be present – or absent – once the desired goal has been obtained.

It is very easy once we have decided to make lifestyle improvements to then get caught up in the excitement of those improvements, and not perform our “due diligence” in order to determine precisely what our success will look like. Without knowing exactly what success entails, we will:

• Lack the ability to track our progress to see if we are moving towards our goal
• Waste time focusing both physical and mental efforts on tasks that are not directly related to our specific goal. 

Some common examples include:

The person who decides to lose weight – What exactly does “lose weight” look like? If you don’t know how much weight you want to lose, or what clothing size you are wanting to fit into, how will you know if you are making progress? How will you know which type of fitness program to get involved with? How will you even know when you have attained your goal?

The person who wants to become wealthy – Well, “wealthy” to a homeless person is a few clean outfits to wear, the occasional shower, and a consistently full belly. What exactly is wealthy to YOU? You need to define a very specific lifestyle that defines what wealthy means in your mind, so that you can both work towards that goal, as well as measure your progress along the way.

The person who wants a great relationship – Try to draw a great relationship on paper, and you’ll see that illustrating such a vague concept is challenging at best. Is it a romantic relationship? What type of intimacy are you looking for? What type of companionship do you want? What things are you NOT willing to have in that relationship?

The above are just some general examples in order to give you an idea of what I’m talking about here, but this same concept can – and should – be applied to every area of your life where you are looking to make improvements.

Why is it important to define what you don’t want in addition to the details about what you do? Simple: in order to keep from wasting time and energy on tasks, plans, or circumstances that are not in alignment with your preferred end result!

Visualization 

One of the most effective (and proven) ways to get what you want out of life is to practice visualization. In short, whenever you go somewhere enough times in your mind, you will eventually go there in the body as well.

If you use visualization in order to bring about positive changes in your life, how can you visualize effectively if you don’t know exactly what those changes are? Moreover, what happens whenever you effectively visualize something, yet when it arrives, it isn’t exactly what you wanted? You’ll have to go right back to the visualization drawing board!

Productivity Practices

The idea behind productivity practices is to achieve some desired end result. Sometimes it is something specific like a project that you are working on, while at the same time productivity practices can be used to effectively work towards positive lifestyle changes.

How do you remain productively working toward a lifestyle goal if you don’t know exactly what that goal is? How do you keep from wasting time on tasks that will not take you to your desired end result if you don’t know precisely what that end result is?

Crunch Time

When it comes down to the wire and you are getting very close to the attainment of your goal, you will find yourself needing to make critical decisions about how to move forward.

• Am I at my goal body weight? If so, what’s next?
• Have I attained “wealth” as I define it? If so, what do I do with it?
• Have I secured a wonderful relationship? If so, how do I keep it?
• Have I {insert any other life goal here}? If so, what are my next steps?

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How can you know how to move on to a new goal in your life if you can’t even say for sure whether or not you attained the last one? What if you “sort of” got what you wanted, but sort of didn’t at the same time?

Do you then just settle for whatever you got, or do you reassess and then decide how to move forward? Either way, you can’t make that determination until you first determine whether or not you even attained your original goal.

All of these ideas about how to properly stay focused on success in order to then attain it share this common trait:

How do YOU define success? 

WHAT’S NEXT?

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If you've seen these posts before, then go ahead and revisit them – most of what I write is timeless. If you haven't, then here is a chance to see some great content from the past that you missed the first time around. Enjoy!

• Everybody’s been the dog… – How do you turn science fiction into a lesson about your own infinite potential? Read the post to find out!
• 50 First Dates… - A life lesson about living in the moment learned from watching a very funny and entertaining movie with Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore.
• How was your Day? – How much difference can a single 24-hour day make in your long-term success? How about all of the difference in the world?
• Did you feel that Tapping? – For you die-hard people who think that having a plan is the "end all, be all" of success, this post might make you think twice about living by that philosophy.

You don't have to try very hard these days to hear people complaining about the economy, about gas prices, about the housing market, about terrorism, about health care, about schools and teenage angst, blah, blah, blah. There is a never-ending stream of things to complain about, and as long as people continue to complain, those issues will continue to exist.

Photo Credit: bonvivantImagine what would happen, though, if one by one, people started seeing things in a more positive light, and started to see, talk about, and focus on the positive aspects of the state of the world. There is a positive spin that can be put on anything – IF, and ONLY if – you look at the situation from the right point of view. Naysayers will claim that there is nothing positive about negative circumstances, and as long as they continue to look with eyes like that, they will always find a way to prove themselves right. For everyone else, however, turn your attention to the GOOD that comes out of even the worst circumstances, and you may start to realize that all is not lost – despite what the doomsday people would have us believe.

Global Warming – Global warming is indeed a potentially huge negative circumstance. However, if the phenomenon would never have surfaced, we would have continued to blindly go on polluting the environment and the earth, and no one would have known anything about it until it was too late.

I see global warming as a welcome wake up call that we need to get off our butts and start taking care of the Earth. I also see global warming as a welcome wake up call to people (myself included) who previously didn't spend enough time appreciating the value and the beauty of nature. When you are in danger of losing something, you suddenly realize how valuable it is.

Terrorism – Did you realize that in the U.S., until the 9/11 incidents with the twin towers in NYC, that terrorism had been relegated to being "yesterday's news," and that – with full respect to any previous victims of terrorism – it had all but fallen out of view of anyone but the security agencies charged with protecting the U.S. borders? Terrorism has become such an issue today because people keep focusing on how BAD it is.

Do you know what I see when I think of terrorism? I see a much-needed reminder about how wonderful it is to live in the countries whose governments protect us from those types of threats. I see reminders about how each day should be lived to the fullest. I see examples of extreme religious beliefs that remind me of how fortunate I am to live in a country where I can practice any religion (or lack thereof) that I choose to practice. Am I happy about terrorism? No, of course not. However, I AM happy to be safe and alive, and to be reminded that each day is a gift.

High Gas Prices – Hovering near or above $4.00 per gallon of gasoline in the United States, a lot of people would say that this is a real problem, and a lot more people would agree with them. After all, our entire social and career culture is based on people getting back and forth to work and play areas.

Do you know what I see when I look at the price of gas? I see opportunities for us to explore and develop alternative technologies that we should have been exploring and developing a long time ago. I see people getting more exercise by walking or riding bicycles more often. I see people staying in and becoming part of their communities more, rather than thinking that happiness is always just another car ride away. I see people coming together as metropolitan communities via increased use of public transportation, and an increased awareness of what life is like for people who weren't driving cars before gas prices sky-rocketed. In short, I see high gas prices as a positive change in the global culture, not the "evil" that many people seem to think it is.

Health Care – It doesn't take long to find a group of people who are willing to complain about the health care system, the price of medications, and a lack of affordable coverage. Those issues, however, are not in debate. The fact that they exist simply is what it is. How the majority of people LOOK at the health care issues is what will determine the long-term positive or negative state of the health care industry.

When I think of "negative" health care issues, I see an opportunity for people to realize the need to do what they should have been doing all along – taking better care of themselves! From both a mental and a physical standpoint, any given person has a HUGE amount of power over their level of health and fitness. If rising health care costs are what it takes to wake those people up, get them to step away from the table, to take up exercising, and to realize the power that their minds and their attitudes have over their health, then I think that is just glorious.

Schools and Generational Issues – What's wrong with kids today? They are disrespectful, unmotivated, victim mentality-oriented, overweight, unhealthy, prone to inappropriate sexual acts, and just generally screwed up. We'll all be lucky if the Earth sees another 20 years with those kids at the helm. And it is no wonder that these kids are so messed up, what with the school budget cuts, and the rampant violence that fills our school system these days.

I wish that my slightly tongue-in-cheek description of the state of today's youth and educational system was just a joke, but it's not. However, the problem isn't with the kids or with the educational system, it is with the parents. I don't see the teenagers riddled with issues such as those described above, but rather an opportunity for people to WAKE UP and realize that child-rearing starts at home. I see a chance for today's misguided parents to realize that making babies is about creating a new generation, not about flopping around in the sheets and then figuring out how to pay for and manage the result that comes out 9 months later. I don't see a problem – I see an opportunity.

I could go on and on with examples just like those listed above, but by now the point should be crystal clear:

You can look at life in the worst possible light, or you can look at life with eyes that see opportunities for advancement and growth.

One of those views leads to a world full of negativity, hatred, and destruction, while the other point of view will create a world that is actually worth living in. Personally, I choose the latter…

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The first – and best – course of action is obviously to just avoid getting shot at in the first place. Barring that option, however, the next best thing to do is to duck, dodge, or otherwise evade the bullets that life will inevitably throw at you.

Photo Credit: Justice Blog of AmericaNow, I am obviously talking figuratively here, not literally, yet ironically enough, living a life where you can dodge mental bullets will probably keep you from having to dodge literal bullets as well, so it's an all-around good technique to learn!

The trick to dodging mental bullets is not to actually get out of the way whenever someone fires them at you, but rather to neutralize those mental bullets, thus eliminating their ability to cause you any harm.

Although in a perfect scenario, we could all simply avoid the negativity that is brought into our lives by other people, realistically that is not always going to be possible. However, by knowing how to make yourself impervious to those negative mental bullets (without being from Krypton or having magic bracelets), no matter how negative any given situation is, you will still be able to minimize or eliminate the affect that situation has on you and your life.

The trick to this lies in a very simple concept that everyone is familiar with: Opposites.

What do opposites have to do with eliminating negativity from your life? Quite simply, because opposites cancel each other out.

It is not possible for any extreme state of being to remain in an extreme state whenever the opposite of that state is applied to it.

Confused? Try out these examples:

• What happens when you mix black and white? You get gray.
• What happens when left and right meet in the middle? A straight line.
• What is the mid-line between moving forward or moving backwards? Standing still.
• What happens if you try to go up and down at the same time? Nothing.
• What is the difference between partly cloudy and partly sunny? Sorry, that's not part of the lesson – I just had to throw it in there!

The point here is that if some person or some situation comes at you from an extremely negative standpoint, then all you have to do in order to dodge that bullet is to focus on the polar opposite of whatever the negativity is, and you will immediately neutralize the extreme nature of that negativity.

People 

If someone walks up to you and starts screaming and yelling, just remain calm, and put yourself in a happy place. In fact, if you can conjure up an actual smile, that will REALLY help. It may not help the person screaming and yelling, but it will certainly help you, and what you need is what this is really all about anyway.

Your calm, cheerful demeanor will at the very least keep you from losing your cool and saying or doing something that you'll regret, and at the same time it may have the added benefit of diffusing the situation. Even the instigator of the whole thing may chill out, and both of you can then move forward without all of that negative energy.

Situations

If an extremely negative situation comes up in your life, the first thing to realize is that the situation just is what it is. You may be able to make the situation better in the future, but at the moment when you find out about (and are most susceptible to the negative effects of) the situation, simply accepting the situation for what it is needs to be the first step.

Once you have accepted the situation, then you can pull out the "opposite card". Since the goal is to avoid the negative influence that this situation could have on your state of mind, don't focus on finding a solution at this point, but rather just finding and focusing on the opposite of the situation.

Whenever you focus on the polar opposite of any given negative situation, what is the polar opposite of negative? Positive! No matter what negative situation has been presented to you, you can immediately eliminate the negativity by thinking about and FEELING about the opposite of that situation.

Remember, the goal here is not to find solutions to the situation, but rather to just protect yourself from the negativity that the situation has created.

Health

Have you ever heard the phrase "the rich get richer and the poor get poorer"? The reason why that phrase is true is because rich people focus on prosperity, while poor people focus on poverty. It is nothing more complicated or covert than the frequently proven fact that people get what they focus on. This applies to your health just as much as – if not more than – any other areas of your life.

If you wake up in the morning and think "I am so sore," or "I am so tired," or "I don't feel well," then you will continue to recreate those same feelings all day long. No matter what you do physically in order to try to alleviate those conditions, if you stay mentally focused on the fact that for some real or imagined reason you are supposed to be sore, tired, or ill, you will find a way to keep feeling exactly like that.

Focus instead on the opposite of those feelings. Yes, it will be hard at first because you DO feel sore, tired, or ill. However, by continually focusing on the opposite of those feelings, you will empower your own body to minimize or even eliminate whatever it is that caused those feelings to begin with. Or, if you can't wrap  your head around the fact that your mind controls your body (and it does!), then you should still be able to get your head around the simple fact that if you stop thinking about something unpleasant, you'll stop noticing it as well.

Your life is not just made up of the actual events that transpire during your time here on Earth, but rather how you feel about what happens to you here on Earth. Depending on your personal belief systems, you recognize that you have anywhere from partial to complete control over the physical happenings in your life, and most people exercise their level of control regularly.

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However, the one thing that is absolutely beyond debate is that you have 100% complete, utter control over what you think and what you feel as a result of those thoughts. If your life is the sum of the thoughts and feelings that you have about your physical experiences (and it is), and you can control your thoughts and your feelings 100% of the time (and you can), then doesn't it just make sense to have the best possible thoughts and feelings as often as you can?

You've got absolutely nothing to lose by attempting to use this system of dodging mental bullets, and since I don't see Wonder Woman or Superman swooping in to save your day, you might want to think about handling that responsibility on your own… 

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Tools to Life is one of many online support groups that are out there, but I think their site offers a lot more than the average self help site. Rather than just being a huge cache of self improvement information, the Tools to Life system is actually a step-by-step and timed system where you are required to take action each day towards your goals.

It would be difficult to list each and every cool and useful aspect of the Tools to Life website in just one blog post, so instead I will highlight three of the separate areas of the site that you should definitely check out. Next, I will do a quick run through of the "toolbox," which is the basic interface that gives you the daily information and tasks that you are required to read, watch, or take part in so you can stay on track.

1. For anyone who has ever considered life coaching as a possible part of their success system, you'll definitely want to take a look at the life coaching support groups at Tools to Life. There are huge groups that are made up of thousands of members, and there are also smaller, more intimate groups that are created by the members themselves. When I was there, I counted over 150 separate groups, so there is something for everyone, not to mention the ability to create your own group as a Tools to Life member.

2. The self help programs that are offered at Tools to Life are the first step for all new members. There are three distinct modules, and you can choose one or more that fit into your own desire for growth. The three programs that they presently offer are: Tools to Life with Coach Steele, Tools To Optimal Health with Dr. Carlos Santo, and Quit Smoking Tools with Coach Steele. For whatever program(s) you choose, you will be given a separate daily toolbox to use in the attainment of the goals related to your program choice(s).
3. For those of you who seek inspirational motivation from the written word, you'll get plenty of that in the articles section at Tools to Life. In addition to just reading articles, however, members of the site can also comment on the articles, and interact with each other in the comment section, much like on a blog post.

The Personal Toolbox – your home base at Tools to Life

Your toolbox is where you go through all of the daily processes that are related to whichever self help program(s) you choose when you first sign up. After choosing your program(s), you then electronically "sign" a personal commitment page where you set the intention to attain whatever your specific goals are. After signing your personal commitment page, you can then use the site's interface to email yourself a copy of the commitment, and you can even email the commitment to others, inviting them to help keep you accountable and/or to join the site themselves.

Your personal toolbox is made up of individual "rooms" where you take part in various activities, usually on a daily basis. The toolbox is set up so that you start in the upper left-hand corner, and then you work your way around, going to each room and doing the activity contained in that room. You will have a separate toolbox for each of the programs that you are involved in.

There are multiple sections in your toolbox, including daily videos with lessons based on whatever program you are working on, daily audio and reading, and a daily checklist to make sure that you do not miss anything along the way.

The first thing that I want to share is Bob Doyle's very cool (and free!) accountability program that is set to launch on July 20, 2008. It is called the Boundless Living Challenge, and after quite a bit of research into it, I have concluded that it is going to be the "kick in the butt" that so many people need from time to time – including myself!

The Boundless Living Challenge is basically a 45-day accountability program where people walk in, state their intention to get something done over a period of 45 days, and then they join a social networking community of others who have done the same thing. The end result is support, accountability, and the laser-focus that I have endlessly talked about on this blog as an absolutely critical success factor.

Add to all of that the fact that the Boundless Living Challenge does not cost a dime to join, yet offers thousands of dollars worth of very cool prizes to the people who make the most changes in their lives, and it quickly becomes something that is more than worth taking the time to check out.

I have already joined the challenge myself, as have hundreds of other people, and there are also still sponsorship opportunities available for anyone who has valuable prizes that they would like to donate in exchange for some extreme exposure during the challenge.

All in all, it looks like some great stuff, and I encourage you all to check it out, and to join up for some fun and goal attainment!

Next is a video post that I just put up over at Fitness Destinations. As I say in the post, I don't talk about the Beachbody business opportunity very often, because I believe that people will ask about it when and if they are ready.

However, this video story about a 44-year old mother of 3 who not only "buffed out," but also found a way to empower other busy moms in the process, was – in my opinion – too good not to share! Check out Suzy's story by clicking the video link below, and realize that her shirt says it all for the moms and dads out there whose family responsibilities sometimes seem to run their lives!

And finally, I was recently the recipient of a very interesting type of evaluation called an Akashic Record Reading. I am not even going to try to explain exactly what it means, as I'll leave that to experts like Akemi Gaines who did my reading for me.

In a nutshell, Akemi gives a deep "reading" of what has gone on in your recent as well as very distant past, and then she uses that information to formulate an understanding of where you are now vs. where you actually want to be. Once that understanding is in place, she then assigns "homework" that you can do in order to clear things that have been blocking you from certain successes in your life.

It is all very interesting, and although it may be a bit too "woo-woo" for some people, I do encourage you to at least check it out, and to ask Akemi any questions that you have about the process. Gaining knowledge of alternative ways of looking at our existence is always a good idea, and you may even learn something along the way!

OK, that's it for now! Enjoy checking out these stops along the way in the self improvement neighborhood, and please do feel free to let me your questions or your comments! 

The human mind runs just like the hard drive on your computer does, only in an unbelievably faster and more efficient manner. However, when it comes to basic programming, the same rules apply: If you put negative stuff in, you will only get negative stuff out.

It is not possible to program a computer – or your mind – with commands that create gibberish and chaos, but then expect what gets displayed on the screen – or in your life – to be orderly, perfect, and effective. If you want to program yourself for success then you need to lock down your mind against every single thought that is not colored with success, bathed in positivity, and wrapped up in an iron-clad sense of expectation.

It’s the Predominant Thoughts that are Hurting You

Many people struggle with reprogramming themselves for success because although they practice positive thinking, they visualize, and they say their affirmations, negativity is still the predominant factor in their life. It isn’t the affirmations and the visualizations that are getting in the way, but rather the thoughts and the feelings that are active the rest of the time!

Most people’s lives have been drenched in negativity for so long that an “offensive” move such as visualizing or saying affirmations is just a drop in the bucket compared to the onslaught of negativity that our minds are subjected to when we are not visualizing or affirming.

The results that we have in our lives are a direct result of the thoughts and feelings that we have, and the actions that we then take as a result of those thoughts and feelings. If the majority of your life is an onslaught of negativity, then your predominant thoughts, feelings and corresponding actions will not be positive.

All you have to do to confirm this is to look around your life right now. Your life’s results are a direct result of your own thoughts, feelings, and actions. If you do not have the results that you want, then your predominant thoughts are not yet programmed for success, but rather are programmed for the lack of it.

How to Break the Cycle and Program yourself for Success

There is no such thing as a “first step” here, because all of these activities should be undertaken every single day, preferably several times per day, if not all day long. Remember, the goal here is to program yourself for success, not to just give yourself a tiny spoonful.

1. Do your “feel good processes” over and over again. Full credit goes to Gary Evans and the Manifest a Miracle program for the phrase “feel good processes,” because that is exactly what they should be. We’re talking about visualizing, meditating, saying affirmations, practicing gratitude, etc.

   The entire point behind these practices is to make you FEEL GOOD about whatever it is that you are considering while you do them. Positive thoughts about what you want in your life will create positive results, negative thoughts will create negative results. Period.

2. Eliminate or avoid negative influences. For many people, this will mean nothing less than a radical change in their lifestyle. Negative influences can and do include friends, family members, co-workers/employers, the television and printed news, and even the television shows and movies that we watch. Remember: Garbage in = Trashy Results. It doesn’t matter where the garbage comes from.
3. Choose carefully what advice to listen to. Avoiding negative influences doesn’t just mean staying away from negative people. It can also mean to ignore negativity that comes from  sources that are normally positive or uplifting.Just because you are reading a book that resonates with you, that does not mean that everything in that book is going to lead you down the right path. Make your own choices about what is good in that book vs. what should go in one ear and out the other. Likewise, when seeking counsel from other people, just because they give you advice, you are not obligated to take it! Even a person that you consider to be a positive influence can give you advice that will not resonate with you, or that will not take you where you want to go.
4. Surround yourself with never-ending reminders to stay positive. There are countless ways to keep yourself reminded of the fact that you are working towards a more positive state of mind, and towards the successful attainment of your goals. Just as when taking advice, however, you should only use the methods that you are personally comfortable with, rather than using what “most people” consider to be effective. Who cares what “most people” think?Check out the post How to Infect Yourself with the Personal Development Virus for an awesome list of ways to stay on the fast-track to success, and make sure to use a good mix of methods. I would recommend visual methods (vision boards, pictures), audio methods (affirmations, positive recordings), and mental methods (visualization, meditation).

The bottom line to all of these methods to program yourself for success is that they all stress the INTAKE of information. Remember that your mind is like a computer and that what you put in directly affects what you get out. There is no gray area there – that is simply the way it works!

The only way you are going to program yourself for success is to go on the offensive, and to make a conscious effort to not only have a constant intake of positive, success-filled thoughts and feelings, but to also avoid any thoughts and feelings that cancel out your success-driven mentality.

Until you learn to avoid or shield yourself from negative influences that are the opposite of your dreams, you will forever be stuck in a loop of taking one step forward, and one step back!