Now hang on, before you go accusing me of male-bashing, have a look at the facts. For more than two millennia nothing has changed – when a man creates his own empire, it’s perfectly acceptable for him to go out and bend things to suit him, and in fact he’s praised for it. “He never let anything stop him from his goals” is considered a compliment. But when a woman does the same thing, she’s called willful, a coldhearted bitch, or even worse.

Developing A Healthy Attitude Towards Achieving Your Dreams

Now, I’m not saying that women should go out there and act selfishly to prove a point. Of course not. But I do think that we could all use a healthier attitude toward achieving our dreams, and celebrating others when they embrace their abilities and make the most of what they can do.

If all of us, both men and women, could embrace the philosophy that there is enough in the universe to give everyone what they need, then we could let go of this archaic notion that women have to choose between being good little subservient wives and mothers, or having the word “feminist” thrown at them as an insult. As if there were no in betweens.

I’d like to offer a few suggestions about how you can promote yourself without fear of being perceived as a selfish bitch, without feeling like you’re doing something wrong by offering your talents to the world, and without worrying that you might offend all the wrong people and end up worse off than when you started.

Promote Yourself!

One: Remember that everything you see and experience externally is actually you projecting the stories you tell yourself onto others. It’s frustrating, but it’s also the key to turning your perceptions around. If you start healing your own beliefs and start telling yourself a new story, it’s surprising how soon the new story becomes true for you. No longer do you have to believe that men have opportunities that women don’t, or that self promotion is something only shameless attention whores do.

Two: Remember that you are the source. If you ask yourself who you think the source is of money, energy, or whatever else in yourself, and you believe the answer is outside yourself, then you definitely have some work to do on refocusing.

Three: Try testing out the new stories you’re creating for yourself. Promote yourself out loud and see what happens. Do people accuse you of shameless self promotion? And if they do, does the world stop spinning? Some people will love what you do, and some people will hate it, but remember that they’re all projecting their own internal stories, too. What they think about you generally has very little to do with you, so don’t take it personally. Sometimes there’s a process of “getting over it” that can sting a bit at first. It means you have to face your fears, in this case promoting yourself, and stare at it until it isn’t such a big deal anymore. It may seem uncomfortable in the beginning, but as with any other anxiety, the longer you immerse yourself in it, the less anxious you become. You’ll heal your own insecurities, and soon self promotion will be no big deal anymore!

This meant that I was probably going to go along crying through my day, feeling miserable and not at all in the mood to smile and be cheerful. I resented that this had to happen right now, when I had a full schedule. I wasn’t really feeling like this was an appropriate time for a meltdown!

Spend Time With Your Tears

But because I fully trust my practice, I know that the best thing for me is not to suppress or conceal whatever needs to be dealt with, but to go ahead and work through it and get things taken care of. I have to deal with whatever I have at the moment and allow myself to feel and heal as necessary. In this case it meant I cried all through my visit to the salon, before my radio show, after my radio show, during my acupuncture appointment, in my car . . . pretty much through the whole day.

Coming Out The Other Side

And at the end of it all, I knew the message of the dreams. It was simple: I needed to have a cry. Nothing more sinister than that. I had some stuff simmering below the surface, some grief and sadness I hadn’t dealt with. Eventually, it boiled up to the surface and demanded my full attention. The difference between the me of now and the me of a decade ago is that these days I know that loving myself means allowing myself to feel okay about crying, okay about expressing any feeling that I need to express. The people who witnessed my crying responded in kind with Kleenex and hugs. Amazing how that happens!

When I checked my e-mail later in the day, I noticed that a friend had sent me this Hopi prayer. Even as soon as I had unburdened myself of my emotional baggage, gifts were already starting to come back to me in an expression of the Divine. I was so moved, I thought I’d share the prayer with you, just in case you have some things in your own heart that you need to deal with and could use a little encouragement. Enjoy!

Hopi Message

“You have been telling the people that this is the Eleventh Hour. Now you must go back and tell the people that this is the Hour. And there are things to be considered: Where are you living? What are you doing? What are your relationships? Are you in right relationship? Where is your water? Know your garden.

It is a time to speak your Truth. Create your community. Be good to each other. And do not look outside yourself for the leader. This could be a good time!

There is a river flowing now very fast. It is so great and swift that there are those who will be afraid. They will try to hold on to the shore. They will feel they are being torn apart, and they will suffer greatly.

Know the river has its destination. The elders say we must let go of the shore, push off into the middle of the river. See who is in there with you, and celebrate.

At this time in history we are to take nothing personally. Least of all ourselves. For the moment that we do, our spiritual growth and journey comes to a halt.

The time of the lone wolf is over. Gather yourselves! Banish the word “struggle” from your attitude and your vocabulary. All that we do now must be done in a sacred manner and in celebration.

We are the ones we’ve been waiting for.

Historically speaking,  ALL change has given humans  the opportunity to adapt and evolve  -  over tens of thousands of years  -  into who we are today. Sometimes the smallest, seemingly most insignificant changes have enabled humans to eventually make giant evolutionary leaps.

On both a collective and individual level, we create the change necessary to achieve our dreams. Yet even when change is desireable, we find that change is not always easy. . . .

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Why Most People Fail To Achieve Their Dreams

Most people fail to achieve their dreams because their dreams are TOO BIG. Deciding to lose 50 pounds. Getting a college degree.  Owning a successful business. Those are all pretty tall orders.  Just thinking about the enormity of those big dreams can cause some people to psych themselves out. They see the entire mile of road stretched out in front of them. Their dream seems too far away, too distant to achieve. They become daunted and disheartened and give up before they start. Supersizing your dreams can have the unintended effect of preventing desireable change.

Inch By Inch Life Is A Cinch

Remember when you were young and just learning to ride a bicycle? You weren’t popping wheelies the first day! You probably started out riding a little red tricycle. Then, when you got your first Big Kid bike, you rode around with training wheels for a few months. After the training wheels came off, dad steadied your bike until you learned to balance on your own. Little by little, you gained the confidence and the skills to perform fancy tricks – like riding with no hands . . . .  Okay, maybe not. The point is, you eventually achieved your goal by taking small steps and practicing every day. The same principle you used as a child applies to achieving your dreams today. Take baby steps. Small, achievable steps in the direction of your dream are easy to make. For example, instead of telling yourself that you have to lose 50 pounds, begin your commitment to a healthy lifestyle by adding a salad before every meal. Take a single night class to start working toward your college degree. Get to know the business you want to eventually own by starting in an entry-level position and working your way up. Doing one little thing at a time can turn that Mount Everest into a bunny slope. The Bonus: when you succeed at small things, your confidence builds, making it even EASIER to change your life!

Rewire Your Brain

The only way to make these little changes stick is to rewire your brain. You need to untrain your brain from its old habits, and retrain your brain for change.  But remember, old habits die hard! The best method for rewiring your brain is to practice, practice, practice. Practice your little step in the direction of your dream every single day for 30 days. This is how long it takes for changes to become wired into your brain. And you have to be disciplined. The 30 days have to be consecutive. No Fair Cheating! If you skip a day, you short-circuit your attempts at rewiring your brain. Be patient with yourself and with the process. You can make a decision at the end of the 30 days whether to commit to this change, if you believe the change has been positive. Finally, try this Experiment:  Make one small positive change that brings you closer to your goal every 30 days. Do this for one year. At the end of the year, look back and see how much your life has changed for the better!

What one little thing are you going to change? Let us know!

Sadly, we forget about the most important person in the world. We forget about ouselves. We forget about Me. Before we know it, we have run out of steam. Life becomes a habit and a chore and not the joy it was meant to be.

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line.  You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.”  - Lucille Ball

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Me Time

“Me Time” is the time you take to take care of yourself. It is the time you take to escape from the pressures of everyday life, to enjoy yourself, to make yourself whole. Ideally, Me Time is something you do everyday, maybe even several times a day. Me Time is anything that helps you relax and feel good about yourself. Me Time enables you to Love Yourself First.

Make Yourself Happy First

We all want our loved ones to be happy and to please our boss. But no one can give 100% if they are tired, worn out and overwhelmed. Me Time is so important because we cannot make others happy unless we are happy, first. Me Time recharges our battery and allows us to quietly focus our attention on what is really important. We become calm and centered and better able to deal with the everyday bumps along the road of life. As a result, we are able to give more of ourselves to others. Me Time is an investment in yourself, for yourself. And the dividends pay off big! The beneficiaries include our family, friends, co-workers and community at large. Have you ever noticed how when you smile at a stranger, their face lights up in a smile as well? People just seem to respond better to someone who is genuinely happy.

How To Take Care Of You

There are so many things you can do for yourself everyday to  make yourself happy. Enjoy a quiet cup of coffee in the morning before everyone else wakes up. Do some yoga stretches to improve your strength, flexibility and mental focus. Take a walk outside during lunch or go to the gym. Download music or audiobooks to enjoy during your commute. Meditate while gardening.  Play fetch with your favorite pooch. Once a month, you can splurge and treat yourself to something really special. Visit your local spa for a massage or a pedicure. If you enjoy the arts, purchase a season ticket for the symphony or a membership at the arts museum. Sports fans can do the same to cheer on their favorite team. If you’re saying to yourself right now “No, I really don’t have the time or the money to do something like that!,” remember that this as an investment in yourself. You are worth it!

What Me Time activity do you do to make yourself happy? Let us know!

Yesterday morning, however, was different. Gratitude was replaced by anxiety as I counted up my sleep and decided it was enough. I stopped only briefly to ask my husband in passing whether he’d slept well. In retrospect, I was feeding the wrong wolf, but there I went, wandering further in the wrong direction.

I started worrying about time, and specifically lack of it. Check-in for our flight was at 8:00, it was now nearly 6:30, and I stood in my pajamas wondering if the weather was going to be a problem. Heavy rains were just starting, and were scheduled to get even heavier. As I started getting ready, I pictured every kind of weather-related plane disaster imaginable.

Is Anxiety Controlling You?

When we got to the airport, there were no delays, which I thought was a good sign. In the plane, I was glad to find a place to stow my bag, and then the anxiety started creeping back into my thoughts. Get out of the aisle, you’re in the way, the chances of you and David dying together in a plane crash are infinitesimal. The thought comforted me in an odd way. I went further with my theories: I’ve known two people who died on planes, so the chances of it happening to me as well are pretty much non-existent. But there’s always terrorism. Could any of these people be carrying a weapon?

I had to step in and intervene in this line of thought. The way I was going, toward total insanity and paranoia, was neither helpful nor enjoyable. I reminded myself that every time I’ve ever taken a flight, I do this same thing – I look for ways that things could end in death, and guess what? I’m still alive.

I decided to lay down the law with myself. I could either spend the rest of my life avoiding flying and worrying about terrorists, or I could just accept the great Divine that is God, and that I have a purpose on the earth that I am here to fulfill. When that mission is over, it’s over, and no amount of anxiety or stress is going to affect that. Admitting that to myself, hearing that truth in my head, allowed me to relax and enjoy the rest of the journey.

Overcoming Anxiety And Fear

This is a far cry from how I was in earlier years, not even able to venture out of my house, much less get on an airplane. Without medication, it was a certainly a struggle to heal my anxiety disorder, but now, on the plane, I could enjoy the luxury of feeling pleased with how far I’ve come.

I’d like to take a moment to tell another old story. There was a Shaman who, on the night of each full moon, would sit with the village children and recount the story of the white wolf and the dark wolf. These were two wolves who had been adversaries since the dawn of time. The white wolf thrives on truth, kindness, and love. The dark wolf, on the other hand, gains his strength from hatred, fear, and lies. The two wolves would battle again and again, and each time the children heard the story, they would ask which wolf wins in the end. The shaman’s answer was simple: “The wolf that wins is the one you feed!” And so it is.

You don't need to look any further than the almost universal desire that people have for more money in order to see this concept in action. People jump through all manner of hoops in order to gain financial freedom, but even if they had a mountain of money in front of them, if they didn't do anything with it, then it would just be a useless pile of paper.

Photo Credit: Txt2Pic.comIt is not what we GET in life that matters, because life is handing us new opportunities every single day. Rather, it is what we DO with those opportunities that will ensure not only our long-term success, but our day-to-day happiness as well.

The Dream Job

Every person has their own rendition of what their "dream job" is, so what would you do if you actually attained it?

• Would you just show up for work every day, but not do any actual work?
• Would you stop working towards future success and advancements?
• Would you ignore opportunities to demonstrate the skills or experience that you used to get the job to begin with?

A "dream job" without a corresponding effort on your part to show that you are worthy of that job is nothing more than an opportunity for you to end up standing in the soup line.

The Dream Body

Yep, we've all pictured it in our heads at one time or another, right? Those firm muscles, tight curves, and sculpted features are things that most people give thought to, and for some people, it is an on-going quest that lasts for decades. What would you do if you got your "dream body," though?

• Would you start eating junk food like it was going out of style?
• Would you stop exercising effectively and on a very consistent basis?
• Would you pick up every unhealthy habit that you could get your hands on?

A "dream body" is made up of both the mental and the physical work that it takes to get that body to begin with. If you stop doing that work, then your "dream body" will once again become nothing but a far off goal that you can't quite get your hands on.

The Dream Relationship

Who hasn't dreamed of their "soul mate" at one time or another, or at least dreamed of the guy or girl that would keep them satisfied on an emotional or physical level? That "dream relationship," however, is not something that can be won, but then just ignored.

• If you are a certain person in the beginning of a happy relationship, do you honestly think that relationship will stay happy if you start acting like a different person?
• If you have certain goals or dreams that are shared by your significant other, but your goals or dreams change, is it your significant other's fault when the relationship starts to crumble?
• If you are a family man or woman, but suddenly you decide to recapture your college glory days of keg parties and panty raids, do you honestly think that is going to fly?

A relationship – by definition – is made up of 2 people harmoniously sharing their life experiences. If one person changes drastically from how they were in the beginning of the relationship, the possibility that the other person will change enough to balance things out is minimal at best.

The moral of the story here is that the attainment of success – no matter how thrilling – is simply a moment in time when you realize that you have won. After that moment has passed, it is time for you to step up to the plate and consistently prove that you are worthy of that success.

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The truth of the matter is that in order for change to occur – on both an individual scale, as well as a global scale – holding on to the way things "used to be" is a recipe for nothing but a modern-day remake of the same mistakes that we have already made in our lives, and on our planet.

Photo Credit: KadhaIf we want true, lasting change to occur, then we must realize that change means change, it does not mean wrapping the old life up in a new package and then presenting it again as if it's all new. It's like that ridiculous advertising slogan "New and Improved". Something can't be new AND improved – it has to be one or the other!

Nostalgia for Days gone By

One of the biggest reasons why people cling to their old patterns despite an innate need to move forward is nothing more complex than that wonderful emotion of nostalgia.

Our lives, no matter how hectic or chaotic they may be, are filled with "sweet spots" that are permanently ingrained in our memories and on our hearts. We remember "back when," or "that time when," or "how it used to be".

Those memories and the emotions that they invoke are wonderful, and to forget or bury them would be nothing less than criminal. However, living from them is just as much of a crime! Your glory days from the past are just that – in the past. No matter how wonderful those days were, they are gone now, and you need to come to terms with that.

You should cherish your past, and learn from your past, and apply what your past has taught you, but your life will never move forward if you are hooked on "the good ol' days". Recognize your past for its positive aspects, utilize the contrast from the negative aspects as a marker for what to avoid in the future, and then let it all go.

Your past – no matter how powerful it may be – is gone. An exponentially more powerful and more glorious future, on the other hand, is nothing but a thought and a commitment away. 

A Comfort Zone that needs to be Broken out Of

The other main reason why people tend to color their futures with the hues of their past is simply the fact that they are used to doing things that way.

I'm not talking about the standard self improvement dogma about getting outside of your comfort zone – we've all heard that one a thousand times. No, I am talking about the fact that people simply don't do what it takes to create and maintain new habits that cause their lives to be significantly different than they have been in the past.

Each of us is guilty of it on some level or other, but we don't realize our guilt because we are so used to doing things that way that it feels natural to us. Just because something feels natural does NOT mean that it should be a part of your life!

When I was a kid, I lived one quarter mile from a very busy set of railroad tracks. Those trains were very loud, and they came through many, many times every day and every night. After a few years, though, I stopped hearing them. They became such a natural background noise that I didn't even consciously hear them anymore.

Just because I got used to living close to the train tracks does not mean that I would want to live there again!

Our ability to get used to something – even something challenging or difficult – does not automatically mean that we should make that thing a part of our lives. If our habits – no matter how steeped in antiquity they may be – do not take our lives in the direction that we want to go, then those habits need to fall by the wayside.

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I have used the term "if nothing changes, then nothing changes" in so many of my writings that I have literally lost count. I don't keep repeating it because it sounds cool, but rather because it is the truth of our existence.

The more things change, the more they stay the same? I call B.S.!! The more things change, the more they NEED to change.

Anything less is just a carbon copy that is getting more and more faded the more times you copy it.

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Back on June 16, 2008 I wrote the post The Winds of Change will sometimes Ruffle your Sails, and in that post I made the public commitment that I would find a way to move to the east coast of Florida within 60 days in order to start a new business. We signed the lease on our beach-side condo 32 days later!

Photo Credit: Robert RussellWe did not pull off such an impressive accomplishment by just sitting around hoping that it would happen, however. There were tangible, "real world" factors that went into our success, and there were intangible, impossible to predict factors as well. The point of this post is for you to realize that success does not come from sitting around wishing for it, but neither does it only come from working hard.

Success is most often a potent combination of your own efforts, as well as factors that you couldn't possibly predict in advance.

Tangible Success Factors

As I indicated back in my original post when I stated my intention to move to the beach within 60 days, there were "real world" products and services that I offered up in order to make that happen. Despite my iron-clad belief that I would manifest whatever circumstances were necessary in order to achieve my goal, I still didn't just sit around waiting for the success wagon to pull up in front of my house. I went out there and chased the success wagon down!

I knew that coming up with additional funding was going to be critical to moving to a coastal area, and at the beginning of the journey (barely 1 month ago!), neither myself nor my girlfriend had any additional money outside of what our monthly bills were costing us.

So, rather than sitting around waiting for the success genie to drop a free ride into my lap, I actively went out and worked towards my goals:

• I offered products – My own electronic products from 2 years of personal development work continue to be a source of value for all who have purchased them, and I leveraged that in order to help facilitate this move.
• I offered services – Although I have no interest in a career as a blog developer, I do have skills with WordPress, so I offered those skills as a way to help other people out. 3 people took me up on it, to the tune of over $500 towards the cause. (Maija Karin Photography, Privateer Nation, Power Sharing)
• I offered discount memberships – My Personal Development Partners site continues to be a source of inspiration and networking for the members, and also a store house of a ton of great self improvement and personal development information. The lifetime membership option there was taken advantage of by 3 of the members of the site. (Gia, Dr. Hal, and Jeniffer Karas)
• I did manual labor – Just because I'm a computer whiz doesn't mean that I can't get out there and work my butt off. I helped people move, I pulled weeds, I planted trees – heck, I almost got sun stroke one day. I kept my goal in mind, however, and I didn't let a bit of back-breaking work frighten me away from my goal!
• I sold things from my past that were not going to serve my future – Like most people, I had a ton of crap that I was holding onto, but never using. None of those things had anything to do with the business or the life that I want on the coast, so I just sold them on Craigslist. Not only am I free and clear from those things that I associate with my past, but now we don't have to move them, either!

You should note 2 very important things about the list of activities that I engaged in to facilitate this move:

1. I did not stick to any "one" thing as the solution to coming up with more money. I kept my options open and I took action in many different directions at once.
2. I did not limit my options by "classifying" myself. I did everything from skilled technical work, to inspirational and empowering writing, to manual labor. Each and every one of those activities brought income to the equation.

Intangible Success Factors

Despite the success of the "real world" efforts that I listed above, the intangible efforts were just as important to my success. There were things that were part of my success that I could not possibly have foreseen, and that was the result of 3 radically important things that I did every single day during the manifestation of my desires:

1. I visualized what I wanted - Every morning, every night, and sometimes even during the day, I kept a picture in my mind of what I would see once I was living at the beach. Did it work? The condo that we signed a lease on is literally 300 steps from the sand. I could walk from my door to the sand with my eyes closed.
2. I kept a sense of expectation – There were plenty of times over the last month or so that doubt wanted to creep in, but I never let it get a foot hold. I kept the attitude every single day not that it MIGHT happen, but that it definitely WOULD happen.
3. I stayed focused on a specific goal – In the beginning, we actually had about a 20-mile stretch of beach that we were willing to live near as long as the house itself was close enough to the sand. After an entire day of looking at properties and making phone calls, however, we decided that it had to be either Cape Canaveral or Cocoa Beach, FL, which are collectively only about 8 miles of sand. Within 3 days of making the rock-solid decision that it had to be Cocoa or the Cape, we found our place 300 steps from the beach in Cape Canaveral.

Unforeseen Circumstances

My visualizing, my sense of expectation, and the laser-focus on exactly what I wanted brought things into the equation that I could not possibly have foreseen:

• Advertisers that I had never even heard of before purchased ad space here at Today is that Day and also at Fitness Destinations. That was all bonus money for the housing fund.
• Visitors to this site purchased affiliate products that have been advertised here for almost a year, yet had not had any new sales in many months. My commission on those sales went straight into the housing fund.
• Some very generous readers who are also fellow bloggers made donations to the cause, and they know who they are, so I will just take this opportunity to thank them again! Each of the people who donate
  d are also paying members over at PDP, so their continued generosity was a welcome and unexpected gift.
• The person who owns the condo that we are moving into (thanks again, Renee!!) had the old tenant moving out the same day that we went to look at it, and she agreed that if we were willing to clean the place up, she wouldn't charge us a deposit. We signed the lease with nothing but the 1st month's rent. How often does THAT happen anymore???

There were numerous other "synchronicities" that came into play as far as people helping us out, giving us guidance, or helping to keep us on track, and that in itself could be an entire wonderful story. I'll stop there, because by now you should get the point that the unforeseen circumstances were just as much a part of this success as the "real world" efforts that were made.

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The moral to this entire, joyous success story is that not only did I get what I wanted, but that I got it through a combination of both tangible and intangible success factors. If you have been putting all of your faith in one system or the other, why don't you try combining BOTH?

You might be shocked and amazed at the incredible results that you bring into your life!

By the way, if you are curious about the health and fitness business that is going to be one of the results of this success story, be sure to check out my profile over at Bob Doyle's 45-day Boundless Living Challenge. I'll be discussing the entire journey and all of the awesome business details over there!

p.s. – I need to go pack, paint, and do maintenance on the house that we are moving out of and renting, so I'll be "off the grid" for awhile. Look for the next post here at Today is that Day to be typed up from the beach!

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If you've seen these posts before, then go ahead and revisit them – most of what I write is timeless. If you haven't, then here is a chance to see some great content from the past that you missed the first time around. Enjoy!

• Everybody’s been the dog… – How do you turn science fiction into a lesson about your own infinite potential? Read the post to find out!
• 50 First Dates… - A life lesson about living in the moment learned from watching a very funny and entertaining movie with Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore.
• How was your Day? – How much difference can a single 24-hour day make in your long-term success? How about all of the difference in the world?
• Did you feel that Tapping? – For you die-hard people who think that having a plan is the "end all, be all" of success, this post might make you think twice about living by that philosophy.

You don't have to try very hard these days to hear people complaining about the economy, about gas prices, about the housing market, about terrorism, about health care, about schools and teenage angst, blah, blah, blah. There is a never-ending stream of things to complain about, and as long as people continue to complain, those issues will continue to exist.

Photo Credit: bonvivantImagine what would happen, though, if one by one, people started seeing things in a more positive light, and started to see, talk about, and focus on the positive aspects of the state of the world. There is a positive spin that can be put on anything – IF, and ONLY if – you look at the situation from the right point of view. Naysayers will claim that there is nothing positive about negative circumstances, and as long as they continue to look with eyes like that, they will always find a way to prove themselves right. For everyone else, however, turn your attention to the GOOD that comes out of even the worst circumstances, and you may start to realize that all is not lost – despite what the doomsday people would have us believe.

Global Warming – Global warming is indeed a potentially huge negative circumstance. However, if the phenomenon would never have surfaced, we would have continued to blindly go on polluting the environment and the earth, and no one would have known anything about it until it was too late.

I see global warming as a welcome wake up call that we need to get off our butts and start taking care of the Earth. I also see global warming as a welcome wake up call to people (myself included) who previously didn't spend enough time appreciating the value and the beauty of nature. When you are in danger of losing something, you suddenly realize how valuable it is.

Terrorism – Did you realize that in the U.S., until the 9/11 incidents with the twin towers in NYC, that terrorism had been relegated to being "yesterday's news," and that – with full respect to any previous victims of terrorism – it had all but fallen out of view of anyone but the security agencies charged with protecting the U.S. borders? Terrorism has become such an issue today because people keep focusing on how BAD it is.

Do you know what I see when I think of terrorism? I see a much-needed reminder about how wonderful it is to live in the countries whose governments protect us from those types of threats. I see reminders about how each day should be lived to the fullest. I see examples of extreme religious beliefs that remind me of how fortunate I am to live in a country where I can practice any religion (or lack thereof) that I choose to practice. Am I happy about terrorism? No, of course not. However, I AM happy to be safe and alive, and to be reminded that each day is a gift.

High Gas Prices – Hovering near or above $4.00 per gallon of gasoline in the United States, a lot of people would say that this is a real problem, and a lot more people would agree with them. After all, our entire social and career culture is based on people getting back and forth to work and play areas.

Do you know what I see when I look at the price of gas? I see opportunities for us to explore and develop alternative technologies that we should have been exploring and developing a long time ago. I see people getting more exercise by walking or riding bicycles more often. I see people staying in and becoming part of their communities more, rather than thinking that happiness is always just another car ride away. I see people coming together as metropolitan communities via increased use of public transportation, and an increased awareness of what life is like for people who weren't driving cars before gas prices sky-rocketed. In short, I see high gas prices as a positive change in the global culture, not the "evil" that many people seem to think it is.

Health Care – It doesn't take long to find a group of people who are willing to complain about the health care system, the price of medications, and a lack of affordable coverage. Those issues, however, are not in debate. The fact that they exist simply is what it is. How the majority of people LOOK at the health care issues is what will determine the long-term positive or negative state of the health care industry.

When I think of "negative" health care issues, I see an opportunity for people to realize the need to do what they should have been doing all along – taking better care of themselves! From both a mental and a physical standpoint, any given person has a HUGE amount of power over their level of health and fitness. If rising health care costs are what it takes to wake those people up, get them to step away from the table, to take up exercising, and to realize the power that their minds and their attitudes have over their health, then I think that is just glorious.

Schools and Generational Issues – What's wrong with kids today? They are disrespectful, unmotivated, victim mentality-oriented, overweight, unhealthy, prone to inappropriate sexual acts, and just generally screwed up. We'll all be lucky if the Earth sees another 20 years with those kids at the helm. And it is no wonder that these kids are so messed up, what with the school budget cuts, and the rampant violence that fills our school system these days.

I wish that my slightly tongue-in-cheek description of the state of today's youth and educational system was just a joke, but it's not. However, the problem isn't with the kids or with the educational system, it is with the parents. I don't see the teenagers riddled with issues such as those described above, but rather an opportunity for people to WAKE UP and realize that child-rearing starts at home. I see a chance for today's misguided parents to realize that making babies is about creating a new generation, not about flopping around in the sheets and then figuring out how to pay for and manage the result that comes out 9 months later. I don't see a problem – I see an opportunity.

I could go on and on with examples just like those listed above, but by now the point should be crystal clear:

You can look at life in the worst possible light, or you can look at life with eyes that see opportunities for advancement and growth.

One of those views leads to a world full of negativity, hatred, and destruction, while the other point of view will create a world that is actually worth living in. Personally, I choose the latter…

WHAT'S NEXT?

Discuss this post at Personal Development Partners
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Tools to Life is one of many online support groups that are out there, but I think their site offers a lot more than the average self help site. Rather than just being a huge cache of self improvement information, the Tools to Life system is actually a step-by-step and timed system where you are required to take action each day towards your goals.

It would be difficult to list each and every cool and useful aspect of the Tools to Life website in just one blog post, so instead I will highlight three of the separate areas of the site that you should definitely check out. Next, I will do a quick run through of the "toolbox," which is the basic interface that gives you the daily information and tasks that you are required to read, watch, or take part in so you can stay on track.

1. For anyone who has ever considered life coaching as a possible part of their success system, you'll definitely want to take a look at the life coaching support groups at Tools to Life. There are huge groups that are made up of thousands of members, and there are also smaller, more intimate groups that are created by the members themselves. When I was there, I counted over 150 separate groups, so there is something for everyone, not to mention the ability to create your own group as a Tools to Life member.

2. The self help programs that are offered at Tools to Life are the first step for all new members. There are three distinct modules, and you can choose one or more that fit into your own desire for growth. The three programs that they presently offer are: Tools to Life with Coach Steele, Tools To Optimal Health with Dr. Carlos Santo, and Quit Smoking Tools with Coach Steele. For whatever program(s) you choose, you will be given a separate daily toolbox to use in the attainment of the goals related to your program choice(s).
3. For those of you who seek inspirational motivation from the written word, you'll get plenty of that in the articles section at Tools to Life. In addition to just reading articles, however, members of the site can also comment on the articles, and interact with each other in the comment section, much like on a blog post.

The Personal Toolbox – your home base at Tools to Life

Your toolbox is where you go through all of the daily processes that are related to whichever self help program(s) you choose when you first sign up. After choosing your program(s), you then electronically "sign" a personal commitment page where you set the intention to attain whatever your specific goals are. After signing your personal commitment page, you can then use the site's interface to email yourself a copy of the commitment, and you can even email the commitment to others, inviting them to help keep you accountable and/or to join the site themselves.

Your personal toolbox is made up of individual "rooms" where you take part in various activities, usually on a daily basis. The toolbox is set up so that you start in the upper left-hand corner, and then you work your way around, going to each room and doing the activity contained in that room. You will have a separate toolbox for each of the programs that you are involved in.

There are multiple sections in your toolbox, including daily videos with lessons based on whatever program you are working on, daily audio and reading, and a daily checklist to make sure that you do not miss anything along the way.

The first thing that I want to share is Bob Doyle's very cool (and free!) accountability program that is set to launch on July 20, 2008. It is called the Boundless Living Challenge, and after quite a bit of research into it, I have concluded that it is going to be the "kick in the butt" that so many people need from time to time – including myself!

The Boundless Living Challenge is basically a 45-day accountability program where people walk in, state their intention to get something done over a period of 45 days, and then they join a social networking community of others who have done the same thing. The end result is support, accountability, and the laser-focus that I have endlessly talked about on this blog as an absolutely critical success factor.

Add to all of that the fact that the Boundless Living Challenge does not cost a dime to join, yet offers thousands of dollars worth of very cool prizes to the people who make the most changes in their lives, and it quickly becomes something that is more than worth taking the time to check out.

I have already joined the challenge myself, as have hundreds of other people, and there are also still sponsorship opportunities available for anyone who has valuable prizes that they would like to donate in exchange for some extreme exposure during the challenge.

All in all, it looks like some great stuff, and I encourage you all to check it out, and to join up for some fun and goal attainment!

Next is a video post that I just put up over at Fitness Destinations. As I say in the post, I don't talk about the Beachbody business opportunity very often, because I believe that people will ask about it when and if they are ready.

However, this video story about a 44-year old mother of 3 who not only "buffed out," but also found a way to empower other busy moms in the process, was – in my opinion – too good not to share! Check out Suzy's story by clicking the video link below, and realize that her shirt says it all for the moms and dads out there whose family responsibilities sometimes seem to run their lives!

And finally, I was recently the recipient of a very interesting type of evaluation called an Akashic Record Reading. I am not even going to try to explain exactly what it means, as I'll leave that to experts like Akemi Gaines who did my reading for me.

In a nutshell, Akemi gives a deep "reading" of what has gone on in your recent as well as very distant past, and then she uses that information to formulate an understanding of where you are now vs. where you actually want to be. Once that understanding is in place, she then assigns "homework" that you can do in order to clear things that have been blocking you from certain successes in your life.

It is all very interesting, and although it may be a bit too "woo-woo" for some people, I do encourage you to at least check it out, and to ask Akemi any questions that you have about the process. Gaining knowledge of alternative ways of looking at our existence is always a good idea, and you may even learn something along the way!

OK, that's it for now! Enjoy checking out these stops along the way in the self improvement neighborhood, and please do feel free to let me your questions or your comments! 

The idea was originally hatched by Maria Gajewski of Never the Same River Twice, and then several of the other PDP members came on board to create a ton of value, yet give it all away at no cost whatsoever.

Secrets to Inner Peace eBookPatricia Schiavone of Attracting the Best wrote a chapter in the book, and also helped Maria pull the whole thing together, Maria herself also contributed a chapter, and additional chapters were contributed by:

• Ellie Walsh of Living the Law of Attraction
• Lexi Sundell of Energies of Creation
• Aaron Potts (that's me!) of Today is that Day

Considering that today's world can be full of chaos, uncertainty, and even fear, finding Inner Peace is a goal worth working towards, and the chapters contained in this eBook offer some valuable insight into how to do exactly that.

Grab your free copy by simply clicking right here, or clicking the beautiful inner peace graphic, compliments of Gabriella Fabbri. 

The creation of this eBook marks the first collaborative effort by the members of Personal Development Partners, and it represents a mere fraction of what is possible when like-minded people come together for a common cause.

If you would like to become a part of a community where all of the members share the desire to learn, to teach, or to network for both professional and personal growth, then join PDP today and become a part of a group that is going places, rather than just watching the world roll past.

Membership at Personal Development Partners is free, or you can take advantage of a huge amount of additional value by becoming a Premium member, or even taking on one of the valuable, but limited, Thought Leader positions.

Now is the time to join, though, because at the end of June, the lifetime membership options will be coming down. The lifetime memberships give you unlimited access to all of the perks and benefits of PDP membership, yet without a monthly membership fee, so grab those lifetime memberships before June is over.

Many thanks to all of the PDP members, and a special thanks to those who were involved in bringing the valuable Secrets to Inner Peace eBook into reality! 

Yes, I will be the first (and continual!) person to tell you that if you keep doing what you've always done, you'll keep getting what you've always gotten. However, that does not mean that you can't get clues about the things that will make you happy by reviewing what you have done in the past.

Photo Credit: RockoWhen it comes to being "larger than life," what is it that you or the people who know you well would say about you? What character traits, hobbies, or habits have you maintained for years, probably without even giving it any conscious thought? When you find the things that you are already enormous at, you will have found things that are in alignment with who you are, and those things can then be used as an outline to create who you want to become.

It is very likely that when giving consideration to what type of person you have been for years, you will not need to dig very deeply. If you have to think really hard about what type of personality you have, or about habits that you have maintained over the long-term, you are probably putting too much thought into it.

Don't think of it in terms of how a habit or a personality trait could make you happy, or about how you could use it to make money. Just stick to the facts, and then you can sort it out later to determine what it all means. I'll use myself as an example to illustrate the process:

• Healthy – I picked up my first barbell when I was 15 years old, I am 38 years old right now, and I have never gone more than 6 months without being on a consistent exercise program.
• Happy – Although my life has had bumps and bruises just like anyone else's life, I have always had a happy and out-going disposition. Yes, I can get cranky just like everyone can, but overall I have always been cheerful.
• Ethical – I got my first job within a week of being legally old enough to work, and I was mowing lawns and doing yard work for cash long before that. I have always done quality work, and I have always gone above and beyond the call of duty to earn the money that I've been paid.
• Outdoors – I grew up in the middle of nowhere in upstate New York long before everyone had an iPod, a cell phone, and a MySpace page, and playing outdoors was an integral part of my upbringing. To this day, I will literally get stressed out if I stay inside for too long.
• Inspirational – No, I haven't always had my present technical and grammatical skills, but I have always been the kind of person that people come to for advice, and the kind of person who helps people to believe that everything is going to be OK.
• Disciplined – Whether it was walking 1 1/2 miles each way to see my girlfriend 3 times a week when I was a freshman in high school (again – upstate New York – brrrrr!), freezing or sweating during days and nights in the desert while I was in the Army, doing manual labor for days on end in the Florida heat, or BRINGING IT with P90X, I have always been able to rise to any physical or mental challenge put before me.
• Fun-loving – I have never consistently taken life too seriously. Yes, there have been times when I've worn the party hat a bit less often than other times, but for the most part I have always been the kind of person who believed in enjoying the journey, and I have the pictures (and the scars!) to prove it.

Just now when I typed all of that out, it took me only marginally longer to type it than it probably took you to read it. I did not have to give very much thought to those habits and personality traits because they are nothing new to me, and none of them are only in my distant past. All of those examples are things that I have practiced most of my life, and I could call out a recent example of each and every one of them. These aren't habits or traits that I used to have, or that I would like to have, but rather that I already have, and that I've had for years.

Now, if there is something that I am considering – whether short or long-term – I don't have to look any further than that list to see if it is something that I will enjoy doing. As I said back in the Winds of Change post, I am getting ready to start a new fitness program on the coast of Florida. Does it match my profile?

• Healthy – You can't run a fitness business if you aren't in shape yourself – not if you actually want customers!
• Happy – After 3 years as a personal trainer, I can tell you for a fact that a fitness instructor's upbeat attitude is more important than their skills.
• Ethical – Again, if you want customers, you run an ethical business, and I always have, and always will.
• Outdoors – Doesn't get much more outdoors than the coast of somewhere beautiful
• Inspirational – I'll be in charge of inspiring not only a lot of customers to succeed, but a lot of employees and joint venture partners as well.
• Disciplined – I will go from working full-time at home in a temperature controlled environment to working outside in Florida in the summertime. Pretty safe bet that both physical and mental discipline will come into play!
• Fun-loving – I hatched this entire idea because I wanted to do something fun, and – without giving away the details of my business plan – yes, it will be loads of fun!

I will be personally happy because I will be practicing the very same personality traits that I have been using for years, and I have been using them because I enjoy doing so. I will be professionally happy because I will make a good living using those same personality traits, and at the same time I will be enhancing the physical and the financial success of dozens, hundreds, and ultimately thousands of people.

How to find your own Enormity

You already know what it is that you enjoy doing, so just sit down and right it out, just like I did in this blog post. Don't study it, or analyze it, or try to figure it out. Just write.

When you have a list of 6 to 12 habits or personality traits that have been part of your life over the long-term, then you simply check your present lifestyle and/or your desired future lifestyle against that list.

If your life and your planned future are in alignment with your list, then you are probably lined up for long-term happiness. If your lifestyle and your list are on two different planes of existence, however, now might be a good time to ask yourself why the life you are leading or planning is such a far cry from what you actually enjoy doing…

WHAT'S NEXT?

It's easy to say that we are working towards something, and we may even feel that we are making a serious effort, but our efforts – like anything else in life – can become a habit, and habits are not always effective. One of the key components to success is to only spend time on practices that produce the desired results.

Photo Credit: Dominik Gwarek Despite our best intentions, we often get into the habit of continually doing things that do not bring us the results that we want, yet we do not realize it until we have expended a lot of time and energy. A mental checklist – or even a physical checklist – can help us to stay on track daily, maximizing our results, and minimizing wasted time and effort.

There are numerous success systems that people use on their road to greatness, and it falls to each person to choose and utilize whatever systems work best for them. However, no matter what system you choose, if you don't use it properly and consistently, you won't get the results.

Here are several popular success systems, and tips on how you can make sure you are using them effectively.

Visualization

Visualizing is basically the act of seeing yourself as being successful before you actually attain whatever success you are looking for. Visualization has long been held as one of the most effective and simple to use success systems, yet people often do not get results because they visualize ineffectively, or they do not visualize often enough.

Effective visualization includes all of the following:

• Feeling like you are actually in that present moment, rather than feeling like that moment is in the future. Visualizations are always in the NOW.
• Feeling exactly how you are going to feel when that moment actually arrives. Don't visualize a scene in your head as if looking at a painting or a picture. Make it real and make it enjoyable by feeling the feelings of actually being there.
• Having a sense of 100% confidence and expectation whenever you visualize. You are not visualizing something that you hope is going to happen, but rather something that you KNOW is going to happen.
• Visualizing frequently, preferably several times per day. The most effective times for visualization are when you are about to fall asleep at night, and when you first wake up in the morning. However, visualization can be done anytime, anywhere.

Recommended Resources: Vision Boards, Mind Movies

Affirmations

Affirmations are basically the act of saying something over and over again – in your head or out loud – in order to "reprogram" yourself so you can attain whatever it is that you are affirming for. Unfortunately, saying something to ourselves that isn't yet true sounds like a lie, so it feels like a lie, and we end up not believing it, and thus not getting very much out of it.

Here are some ways to get the most out of your affirmations:

• Say your affirmations out loud. We are all proficient at saying things in our head, but if that hasn't been working, bring those statements out into the "real world". Not only does that make your affirmations more effective, but it also helps you to realize how you truly feel about whatever it is that you are saying.
• Say your affirmations in front of a mirror. Again, realizing how you feel about what you are affirming for will help you to overcome any self-limiting beliefs about it. Say it out loud and in front of a mirror so you can look yourself in the eyes when you do it. It's hard to lie to someone straight to their face.
• Say your affirmations in the present tense. Again, just as with visualization, you are creating something NOW, not in the future. "I am so happy and grateful now that…" as opposed to "I will be so happy when…"
• Say your affirmations many times throughout the day. Affirmations work by programming your conscious mind as well as your subconscious mind, so don't be afraid that you'll "overdo it" by affirming too often.

Recommended Resources: BMindful, ThinkRightNow 

Meditation

Meditation is probably one of the least understood success systems because – in essence – it means to just do nothing! You just sit there, and most meditative practices will have you not even thinking, let alone doing anything else. There are other types of meditation as well, yet all of them share the goal of having you free your mind so that it can let go of the day-to-day struggles, leaving you with clarity and peace of mind.

Clarity and peace of mind may not seem very valuable to someone who wants to be on the fast track to success, yet when you consider that 90%-95% of your life is controlled by your subconscious mind, the power of clarity and peace of mind becomes immediately apparent.

Here are some ways to get the most out of meditation: 

• Make sure to let go of your thoughts when you meditate. If you are just sitting there thinking about all of your problems and all of the things that you have to do, you might as well just get up and go do them. You are not getting anything out of meditation if you are not letting go and letting your mind wander.
• Make sure to stay awake. Many people cannot stay comfortable is a sitting up position for long periods of time, so they lay down to meditate. Although there are some meditations that can be used as you fall asleep, most meditations are supposed to involve conscious awareness, which you obviously don't have if you're asleep.
• Meditate without having some definite purpose in mind, such as trying to think of a solution to a problem. Although meditating is an incredible way to resolve issues, if you give conscious thought to the problem during the meditation, all you are doing is engaging your conscious mind, rather than your subconscious mind. Instead, think of the issue that you want to solve very briefly before you meditate, release your attachment to finding a solution for it, and then start your meditation.
• Look for answers and clarity unexpectedly, rather than immediately following your meditation. Meditation helps your subconscious mind to achieve focus and to find solutions, and sometimes that happens quickly, while other times it will take longer. If you consciously try to "rush" your subconscious mind, you will potentially shut down the entire subconscious solution-finding process. 

Recommended Resources: Meditation Music, Guided Meditations

Attitude

No success system in the world is going to help you if you don't have your mind right. You can visualize, affirm, and meditate all d
ay long, but if you don't have an attitude of confidence, success, and expectancy, you will meet with limited results. Your attitude creates the very reality that you walk through every day, so create an environment that ensures your success by keeping your mind and your emotions focused on success, rather than failure.

Here are some ways to get the most out of your own attitude: 

• Check your attitude as soon as you get up to start your day. Our dreams and/or our memories from the previous day can carry over into the new day. If those are positive, uplifting, and confident memories or feelings, then go with it. If not, then release any negativity before programming yourself for a new day by using affirmations, visualizations, and meditations.
• Check your attitude frequently throughout the day. It's easy to "fake it until you make it" when you don't really feel like smiling or acting confident, but faking it will only get you so far. Negativity can creep back in without you even realizing it, so set reminders or cues to go off throughout the day that snap you back into a positive, confident mindset.
• Check your attitude after a negative situation. If you get into an argument with someone, get stuck in traffic, get a negative message or piece of mail, etc., it can be very easy to fall into a feeling of gloom and doom. People who succumb to those types of feelings are not the kind of people who produce success. If you just got mad, sad, frustrated, or upset by something, now is the perfect time to go back to those affirmations, visualizations, and meditations.

Recommended Resources: Positivity Space, Manifest a Miracle

Conclusion

Everyone wants whatever it is that they want out of life, but only a small percentage of the population are willing to consistently and effectively take action in order to get what they want.

If you have been struggling to attain your desires, why not pick a success system (or two or three), and consistently apply those systems over the long-term? You've got nothing to lose, and everything to gain!

WHAT'S NEXT?

Discuss this post at Personal Development Partners
Check out my Personal Development Products
Join the Today is that Day Newsletter

Albert Einstein is quoted as saying "We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them" and that statement could not be more accurate. If your dream life is different than the life you are presently living, then you are going to have to make some changes, and those changes could be downright radical, and even uncomfortable. However, if I may tip the hat to another great quote (author unknown), "Do today what others won't so you can do tomorrow what others can't".

Photo Credit: Silvia CosiminiAs you look towards the life that you want to lead, you may very well have to also look at some radical or uncomfortable changes that need to occur in order for you to start living that life. The winds of change – as they continually blow across the sands of time – will sometimes rock your boat or get sand in your eye, and sometimes they will even knock you flat. Nonetheless, the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow is there waiting for all of those who do what it takes to power through and take hold of their dreams.

As is often the case here on the Today is that Day blog, my inspiration for blog posts comes from my very own life, and that is the case here as well. My own life is about to radically change (for the better!), yet at the same time, the tasks involved in creating that change are large and could easily be overwhelming if I didn't know how to control those kinds of emotions.

So, rather than freak out and turn into a useless mass of blabbering inefficiency, I have instead come up with a great plan of action that – as indicated above – will require some radical changes on my part in order to make it all happen. In order to come up with that plan, I utilized a simple, 4-step challenge solving process:

1. Identify the Primary Goal – There are numerous factors that go into facing up to any challenge, but there is always one primary goal that will then fuel or enable the rest of the tasks. Find that one primary goal, and focus on that one thing, to the exclusion of everything else.
2. Assess what Resources you have Available – Often times money helps to grease the wheels of goal attainment, but you may still have to access other resources as well – possibly in order to get that money. Those resources could include your own skills, your experiences, your circle of influence, or even material possessions that might be part of the solution.
3. Find a way to use those Resources to attain the Primary Goal – Now is the time to think outside of the box. Remember, if nothing changes, then nothing changes. If you're alive (and you are!), then you have something to offer that will help you to get what you want.
4. Refuse to accept Defeat as an Option – As long as you continue to hold onto some sort of safety net in case things don't work out, those things WON'T work out, because you will always know in the back of your mind that if you fall (or fail), the net will catch you. DECIDE that you are going to get what you want, and COMMIT to getting it at all costs. Failure is NOT an option!

A Real Life Example:

In my case, the changes in question include moving to the east coast of Florida in order to start a very cool, very unique coastal fitness program. After almost 2 years of working almost exclusively from home, the winds of change now find me:

• Moving all the way to within walking distance of the beach from my present central Florida location
• Starting a company that will ultimately be incorporated, spreading my unique business idea all over the world
• Being available 3 or 4 times per day outside of my home to train clients
• Hiring, training, and managing employees, which is something that I have always managed to avoid in the past

Identify the Primary Goal - This entire business idea is predicated on living by the beach. As much as I love the beach, it's not about sun-bathing and dolphin-watching, but rather utilizing the coastal community as the catalyst and the life-blood of the business. Moving to the beach is the Primary Goal. Without that, nothing else matters.

Assess my Available Resources - My personal development products, my social networking site, my skills and abilities, my fitness coaching site, and my circle of influence.

Use Resources to attain Primary Goal –

• Personal Development Products – My products have great value and quality, and I know that for a fact, so I don't need to "convince" anyone to buy them. They all come with a money-back guarantee and email support from me, and they are all very reasonably priced. Using my products as part of solving this challenge is as simple as reminding people that they are worth checking out.
• Social Networking Site – Personal Development Partners is growing every day, and I have even started advertising it on Craigslist. I will continue to offer the lifetime membership option only until the end of June, so now is the time to take advantage of that. I also have just 3 Thought Leader positions left open, and those are the most coveted spots, so grab one now – they go fast. Again, using my site as part of solving this challenge is simply reminding people of the value that is available.
• Skills and Abilities – I have been encouraged by many people to help others with their blogs and/or to write for other people's blogs. I very much enjoy creating content that people get value from, so I have decided to start offering my blogging and writing services for hire. This is far beyond anything that I have offered in the past, and that radical change is part of my challenge-solving process.
• Fitness Coaching Site – I have been writing at Fitness Destinations for more than 4 years (first as a website, and more recently as a blog), and it is chock full of a ton of really great information. Since I have gotten back into Fitness Coaching, I have been updating that site with product-specific posts at least a few times each week. That site is part of solving this challenge by me encouraging people to check it out, and to pay special attention to whether or not you see value in the P90X Reviews that I have been doing.
• Circle of Influence – In addition to this blog post encouraging people to check out all of the products and services that I offer, I am also going to simply ask for help! Regular readers at Today is that Day say that they love the site and the content, so here is your chance to prove it. If you would
  like to be a part of helping me rise to this huge challenge, you are welcome and encouraged to do any of the following:

• Make a Donation – No donation is too small (or too large!). Since bloggers get paid for their writing, I am well within my rights to ask people to make a donation if they truly see value in my work.
• Purchase a Product – As indicated above, my products rock, and they are worth every penny.
• Join PDP – Personal Development Partners is a great site, and the members are helpful, friendly, and knowledgeable, not to mention the huge list of benefits that all paying members get immediate access to.
• Hire Me – Check out the details on what I offer, and if I can be of service to you, then great. If not, then please let your own circle of influence know what I have to offer.
• Purchase a Beachbody Product – Not only will you get me as your Team Beachbody Coach, but you'll get a high quality product that is much more than worth it's price.

Defeat is NOT an Option – This entire decision for me was based on my own desires vs. the resources and geography that are available where I live now. It is simply not possible for me to do what I want as long as I live here, and I have explored every conceivable option to determine that fact. If I am going to get what I want (and I am!!), then I do not even have the option of living where I live. It's the coast or nothing!

Conclusion

If you'll read carefully through the challenge-solving process, and then see how I applied that process to my own situation, you'll see one very important fact:

The only thing that actually changed was how I presented or utilized the resources that were there all along!

I didn't have to get more stuff, attain more skills, get a lucky break, or do anything that has not been in my control the entire time. All I did was identify the goal, take an assessment, apply my inventory of resources towards the issue, and then stubbornly refuse to accept anything less than success.

The end results? Well, at the time of this writing, that remains to be seen. However, if you want to see me lead by example by attaining this goal, then subscribe to my RSS feed to stay up to date. I'll be moving to my new coastal residence within 60 days – guaranteed! 

If you knew for a fact that there was a God or a Goddess of unlimited power inside of you right now, wouldn't it be great to learn how to access their limitless abilities? Well, you do have a God or a Goddess inside of you, and gaining access to that power is very much within the reach of each and every mere mortal.

Photo Credit: Jari AhoAccessing your Divine power requires a conscious effort, however. You don't just stumble upon the thoughts, feelings, and actions that re-work the fabric of your own personal space-time continuum. If you want to change your stars (tip of the hat to A Knight's Tale), then follow these steps for invoking your personal development power!

Decide

Your ability to part seas and walk on water means exactly nothing until you decide that you want to part seas and walk on water.

When a magician goes to pull a rabbit out of a hat, do you think that he just waves his magic wand and says "Give me something furry!" or do you think he decides that he wants a rabbit, rather than, say, a weasel? Granted, those types of magic tricks are all illusion, but to even pull off that illusion, the magician still had to decide that he was going to wow the audience by pulling a rabbit out of a hat.

Your unlimited power will bring you the unlimited ability to accomplish absolutely nothing unless you first decide what it is that you want to accomplish. Without a decision, your magic wand is nothing more than a fancy drink stirrer.

Commit

It would seem to go without saying that making a commitment to a given course of action is an integral part of bringing that course of action to life, but how many times have you or someone you know decided to do something, but then not followed through?

Commitments to ourselves or to others should not be taken lightly. When you truly commit to something, your attitude should immediately become Failure is NOT an option! If you leave yourself a safety net or a safe way out in case you are unable to fulfill your commitment, then you haven't committed. If you feel the need to have a safety net or a safe way out, then you aren't ready for that commitment, so don't even bother trying. 

Shout

How many people in your circle of influence know what your goals are, or what you are trying to accomplish? Your answer should be everybody! The basic business concept of "networking" works for a reason; because the more people who know what you are wanting to do, the better chance you have of getting it done.

If you want to have your house painted, but you don't feel that you can afford it, shout it out! Tell your co-worker Suzie what you want, and what your concerns are. Suzie might not care, or be able to help you in some way, but that doesn't mean that Suzie's circle of influence won't be able to help you. For all you know, Suzie is going to go home that day to find a flyer on her door that says "We do quality house painting for cheap!"

Now, imagine if you did that with every single person that you know. In fact, you want your house painted so badly that you keep on talking about it over and over again. Eventually, you are going to come across the resources that you need, and it is very likely that those resources will come from a direction that you could not possibly have imagined in advance. 

Listen

What good is shouting for help if you don't then listen to see if anyone responds?

Again, this very likely will not come in a direct form. You might just be strolling down the street and come across someone else who is getting their house painted, so you strike up a conversation with them. It turns out that their painters need another job as soon as possible, and they are willing to reduce their rates in order to get the work.

You might find out about a brand-new company that is offering discount services in order to get their name out in the community, or you might come across a retiree who loves to paint houses, and he would be happy to paint your house for a lot less than the current rates being charged by local companies.

The point is that the more you shout it out, the more you should pay attention to what happens afterwards. Also – be patient. This process is not always immediate, but it is always effective. 

Expect

To get what you want, you have to expect to get what you want. Often, your attitude of expectation is enough to convince other people to help you out, even if they aren't getting something in return!

Your stark confidence in the fact that you are going to attain your desires makes people say "Wow, this girl/guy has it all figured out." When people have those types of thoughts, they are automatically drawn into your networking process, and they become a part of the solution.

I worked a gym once, and the Fitness Manager was not the most ethical health and fitness practitioner, but that didn't stop him from making a huge paycheck because of his attitude of expectation. He would walk into a meeting with potential new gym members with an attitude of "You ARE joining this gym, and you ARE buying personal training!". Before you knew it, people were signing on dotted lines and busting out their credit cards.

People are attracted to confidence and they listen to confident people. By keeping an attitude of expectation that you WILL be getting your way, you will inspire the world at large to make sure that is exactly what happens. 

Believe

The belief that you will get what you want is similar to your expectation, but belief is at a higher level, and speaks more to the lifestyle that you'll be leading once you get what you want, rather than just the expectation that you are going to get it.

• When you believe that you are going to be wealthy, you are already making plans for what to do with that money.
• When you believe that you are going to lose weight, you are already making plans for what kind of clothes you are going to wear, and how your lifestyle is going to change as a result of the weight loss.
• When you believe that you are going to find your soul-mate, you are already making plans for the things that you and him or her will do together, and how wonderful it will all be.

Belief is even more powerful than expectation because not
only are you expecting to get what you want, but you are already planning the next stage in the journey. Doing so further empowers you to do things like sticking to your commitment, shouting to more people, listening for more answers, and fully expecting to get whatever it is that you want.

Enjoy

What's the point of all of this if you aren't going to enjoy the journey, as well as the prizes along the way? If the tasks that are involved in you attaining your desires make you sad, confused, angry, or even just bored, then why are you doing them?

When your heart is 100% involved with attaining your desires, then the tasks along the way – although sometimes mundane – will still be done with joy and enthusiasm because you know for a fact that by doing those tasks, you will get what you want.

If your tasks do not fill you with joy and a sense of bountiful expectancy, then that is a big red flag that you may be on the wrong path. You may be working towards something that you feel you are supposed to be doing or that you are good at, but it isn't something that you truly want for your life.

Your journey towards what you want to get out of life should be just as much fun as actually getting there. If you aren't enjoying the ride, you might want to get off at the next stop and find a route that brings you as much joy as you expect the end result to bring you.

Do you see a pattern developing here? Every step that was just listed not only builds upon the previous steps, but it all culminates in the final step – Enjoy – which was the initial goal to begin with, wasn't it?

Whatever it is that we are after in our lives, it is because we want joy and happiness. Yes, we may take part in tasks or actions that are not directly related to our own happiness, yet we take part in those tasks or actions because we choose to do so in order to attain whatever it is that we personally want.

It's OK to be self-centered in life. Being self-centered means that you insist on living life on your terms, as opposed to being selfish, which means that you insist on OTHER people living life on your terms.

Be self-centered, Invoke your personal development power, and Create a wonderful life for yourself.

Do you see how each one of those words is a present-tense action? The present is the only time you will ever have. Please use it wisely.

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Somewhere along the line in history, human beings have lost track of the very real, very important, very self-centered fact that each of us is 100% responsible for our lives. Our happiness/sadness, wealth/poverty, vitality/ill health, opportunity/despondency – and any other polar opposites that you can imagine – are the responsible of exactly one person, and that is you.

Photo Credit: Asif AkbarNo matter what your circumstances are in life, there is a way for you to create happiness and success out of those circumstances, because when all is said and done, one of the truths of existence is that each and and every one of us is the center of our own universe. Our thoughts, feelings, and actions create the very axis on which our entire existence spins, and that process is 100% within our control.

Yes, yes – I can hear your "insert excuse here" arguments already:

I was born this way, so I don't have a choice. – How you were born or raised is completely irrelevant. As Jack Canfield says, "That's the 'so what'. The 'what' is what now?" You can live in the past, or you can create the future.

This health condition runs in my family. – For one, that doesn't mean that you can't take every conceivable step to ensure maximum health despite that condition. For two, that doesn't mean that you can't consciously will better health into your life. For three, that health condition is a circumstance of your life, not the definition of your life. Realize the difference and quit whining about it.

Other people are involved in whether or not this can happen. – No, you allow other people to be involved in whether or not something can happen. People only effect our lives to the extent that we allow them to affect our lives. No matter how much you perceive someone else as being a positive or a negative part of your life, their impact on your life is totally in your control. If someone else is making your life miserable, you've got no one to thank for it but yourself.

It's out of my control. – In other words, you aren't willing to take responsibility for it. Henry Ford used to tell his employees not to bring him problems, but instead to bring him solutions. If something is "out of your control," all that means is that you haven't found a way to take control of it. If you are not willing to find that way, then you're right – it IS out of your control. How does that make you feel?

Whatever other excuses you can come up with, they all boil down to exactly the same thing:

That word "victim" is funny to me, because I think it should actually be elongated in order to more clearly demonstrate what being a "victim" is all about. Perhaps a vote on a better definition?

• Willing Participate
• Drama Lover
• Negativity Junkie
• Responsibility Avoider
• Blind Follower
• Commitment Challenged
• Selectively Ignorant

Oh, the list could go on and on, and no matter how long the list got, every phrase would describe the very same fact:

There are people who believe in and consistently act upon their ability to create wonderful lives for themselves, and there are people who realize how much easier it is to play the victim card, thus avoiding any real responsibility for their own happiness.

On that same note, there are people who will read this, and become empowered, and there are people who will immediately start coming up with reasons excuses about how these concepts don't apply to their lives because ________________ (insert lame excuse here).

Do yourself a favor and ask yourself which type of person you are. Then do yourself an even bigger favor and give yourself an honest answer to that question.

If you've been a blind, drama-loving, commitment-challenged, selectively-ignorant, negatively-charged, willing avoider of responsibility, then just ask yourself one more question:

How's that been working out for you?

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Fanciful thoughts, as much fun as they can be, don't become much more than that until a burning desire to attain the subject of those thoughts is put into place. Without a sincere desire to attain whatever it is that we are thinking about, our thoughts can be simply knocked out of the way by other thoughts that take their place.

Photo Credit: superdecorLong-term lifestyle changes don't take effect until we have consistently given thought to any given subject, and also attached powerful, passionate emotions to those thoughts. Think of the chaos that our lives would be made up of if every time we had a dreamy thought, our reality would be instantly whisked away, only to be replaced with the world that we were just thinking about.

Although it is certainly true that we can manifest anything at all into our lives that we desire, it takes more than just a passing thought to unleash our mastery over manifestation. Our desires must first become so ingrained in our thinking and feeling processes that we can't help but think about them. If you have to remind yourself to think about your dreams, then those aren't dreams, but rather fanciful wishes.

You can let go of a dream, but a dream never lets go of YOU.

- Joel Osteen

In today's world of unbounded possibilities, it can be very easy to become confused when trying to determine if something is truly a long-term dream, or just the latest "wish of the moment". Here are some tips to help you tell the difference.

Dreams don't need to be Justified

If you truly want something in your life, then you won't need to quantify your desires by then adding in details about what your dreams are going to do to enhance humanity, or to help save the world.

If you have always dreamed of being a professional golfer (just a random example), then you want to do that because it is what you want to do. It has nothing to do with changing people's lives, improving humanity, or any other lofty goal. Your dreams are your dreams because you want them. That's it.

If your dream life ALSO includes curing the ill, advancing evolution, and helping old ladies cross the street – well, that's just so much the better. However, those perceived positive concepts do not necessarily need to be part of your dreams.

Your dreams are what YOU want, not what the rest of the world wants.

Dreams hunt you down

If someone comes back from a vacation in Tahiti, shows you pictures, and brags about how wonderful it all was, then it would be perfectly natural for you to start thinking about how great it would be to visit Tahiti.

The more that person embellishes the glory of their Tahitian vacation, the more you will want to enjoy that same experience. However, that doesn't mean that your life's goal is going to suddenly become doing nothing but planning and financing a trip to Tahiti.

On the other hand, if something happens to you that causes you to instantly fall in LOVE with an idea or a geography, and just like the love between 2 people, you can't stop thinking about it no matter what you do, that could be a dream in the making. That dream will keep popping up over and over and over again, and you won't be able to stop thinking about it, even when you TRY to.

I visited the big northern island of Kauai in the Hawaiian islands many years ago – probably close to 10 years ago by now. I was on vacation from a dot-com company during the height of the dot-com era, and I went to Kauai from my home in Seattle, WA.

The difference in lifestyle could have been measured, cut up, and served on a plate with a side salad and a cold beer.

The beautiful climate, the laid-back atmosphere, and the instant connection with Mother Earth was like getting hit with a wake-up bullet right to the head. I was instantly in love, and I couldn't stop thinking about that lifestyle.

I had never even seen the ocean before that, but to this day I am a beach junkie (hence my screenname), I physically get stressed out if I don't spend enough time outdoors, and my dream since that vacation and up to the present moment is to live in a house that is on the coast, and that is in a geographically tropical environment.

After that vacation I went from Seattle, WA, to Atlanta, GA, to Jacksonville, FL, to Daytona Beach, FL, and right now I live in Orlando, FL, with plans to very likely move to Cocoa Beach, FL within the next 3-6 months. Ever since that vacation almost 10 years ago, I have been in love with the beach and the tropical environment, and no matter what I do, that dream keeps hunting me down, and I keep getting closer and closer to seeing it realized.

Dreams are Bullet-proof

A true dream is something that you want and that you believe in having no matter what other people say. If all it takes for you to give up your dream is someone telling you that you don't have what it takes, then that isn't a dream.

A dream will never allow itself to be bullied, rationalized, or reasoned out of existence. Dreams don't need petty things like logic and reason in order to survive. A dream is something that you want no matter how impossible it may seem to attain it.

If you find yourself seeking counsel from other people about whether or not your dreams should be pursued, then those aren't dreams – they're wishes.

To use the earlier example of a vacation to Tahiti, once you had decided that you really wanted to do that, you would very likely start a data-mining project to find out all that there is to know:

• What is the most time/cost effective way to get there?
• What are the best things to see/do in Tahiti?
• How much money will I need for a vacation like this?
• What do other people say about their vacations to Tahiti?

From a logical and reasonable standpoint, those types of questions make a lot of sense. Who wouldn't research a vacation before going on it?

Someone whose DREAM it was to go on that vacation, that's who! If you dream of Tahiti (or living in a house at the beach), then those dreams require no further study. Those dreams simply exist, and no amount of research is going to change the fact that you want them.

So, can you ALSO have wishes to go along with dreams? ABSOLUTELY!

Just remember that wishes fall into the "would be nice to have" category, and dreams fall into the "I gotta have that" category.

Pretty simple when you break it down like that, don't you think?

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It's a classic irony of the human condition that our instincts drive us to expand and to grow, yet at the same time we enjoy comfort, security, and recognizable boundaries. However, those same comfortable boundaries quickly become a self-imposed prison unless we continue to improve ourselves in some way.

Photo Credit: Vicky SUnless you want to live the rest of your days in your safe little box, you're going to have to learn how to push your own limits, thus opening yourself up to experience the growing pains that herald the victories of your future. Falling flat on your face is the quickest, most effective way to make you appreciate the simplicity of being able to stand up straight, and as unpleasant as the fall may be, you'll stand up that much taller from that point on because you'll have the memory of that contrast.

Visualize the end result and ONLY the end result

As most of my readers know, I am going through the 90-day P90X workout program right now, and how can I put this bluntly? It's hard!

However, I have several goals that depend completely or in part on my success with that program, so whenever I am feeling weak (literally or figuratively!) I visualize the end result, and I focus on it fiercely with all of my will power. What I don't do is think about how hard an exercise is, or about how much I don't want to workout, or about how I have work on my computer that I want to do during my exercise time.

One of the workouts is a rather intense yoga routine that includes some very difficult abdominal exercises towards the end after you are wiped out from more than 70 minutes of yoga poses. The "no pain" route to take would be to drop to the floor, rest, and just give up. The "pain" route involves me visualizing the six-pack that I am building, and focusing only on that vision, to the exclusion of everything else – including the pain itself.

The "no pain" route is easy in the moment, and gives a fleeting, instant reward – the opportunity to rest. The "pain" route involves significant discomfort, and no immediate noticeable results, but the long-term rewards make the pain very much worth working through.

Think of it as growth, not as pain

Sure, whenever your heart is broken, your bank account is vacant, or you're gasping for air while exercising, it's kind of hard not to realize that pain. However, the trick to personal growth is not in avoiding growth opportunities, but rather in learning from them.

• If you don't know the pain of a broken heart, then you also don't know how to appreciate a loving and happy relationship.
• If you don't know what it's like to wonder if you'll have enough money to pay your bills, then you don't understand the value of the money and the resources that you have.
• If you don't know what it feels like to be unhealthy, fat, or injured, then you don't know how wonderful it feels to be the opposite of those things.

Rather than viewing your painful experiences as nothing but painful experiences, instead, be grateful for the contrast they show you that will then allow you to appreciate success in those areas that much more once you have attained it.

Once you have learned everything that you need to learn from being broken-hearted, poverty-stricken, or out of shape, then apply what you have learned so you can avoid that pain in the future. 

Also, no matter how bad your pain is, it is there nonetheless. If you are going to be experiencing it anyway, wouldn't it be better to get something good out of the deal?

Don't forget to accept responsibility

The absolute shortest route that you can take towards reliving pain in your life that you didn't like the first time around is to blame it all on someone else.

• My ex-husband/wife is a jerk
• My boss doesn't care about my needs
• My kids won't give me space
• My brother/sister/mother/father treats me bad
• My friends are holding me back
• My genetics keep me from succeeding
• My lifestyle forces me to live my life this way
• My schedule keeps me from exercising and eating right

Crap, crap, and more crap. YOU are the only person who is now – or ever has been – responsible for the pain that you experience in life. Here is a short and simple way to remember this:

If it happened to you, then you were a part of it.

You may not have directly asked for something negative to come your way, or to be injured, or to get fired, or to have a relationship end badly, but if you were there at all (and you were!), then you share in the responsibility of the negative circumstances that are now causing you pain.

If you keep blaming other people or the outside world for your pain, then you will simply be handing over the reigns of your life to other people or to the outside world. You will continue to experience pain that is allegedly because of other people until you learn to take responsibility for the decisions that you make.

Remember, the goal here is personal growth. What exactly have you learned if it's always someone else's fault?

WHAT'S NEXT?

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