The first – and best – course of action is obviously to just avoid getting shot at in the first place. Barring that option, however, the next best thing to do is to duck, dodge, or otherwise evade the bullets that life will inevitably throw at you.

Photo Credit: Justice Blog of AmericaNow, I am obviously talking figuratively here, not literally, yet ironically enough, living a life where you can dodge mental bullets will probably keep you from having to dodge literal bullets as well, so it's an all-around good technique to learn!

The trick to dodging mental bullets is not to actually get out of the way whenever someone fires them at you, but rather to neutralize those mental bullets, thus eliminating their ability to cause you any harm.

Although in a perfect scenario, we could all simply avoid the negativity that is brought into our lives by other people, realistically that is not always going to be possible. However, by knowing how to make yourself impervious to those negative mental bullets (without being from Krypton or having magic bracelets), no matter how negative any given situation is, you will still be able to minimize or eliminate the affect that situation has on you and your life.

The trick to this lies in a very simple concept that everyone is familiar with: Opposites.

What do opposites have to do with eliminating negativity from your life? Quite simply, because opposites cancel each other out.

It is not possible for any extreme state of being to remain in an extreme state whenever the opposite of that state is applied to it.

Confused? Try out these examples:

• What happens when you mix black and white? You get gray.
• What happens when left and right meet in the middle? A straight line.
• What is the mid-line between moving forward or moving backwards? Standing still.
• What happens if you try to go up and down at the same time? Nothing.
• What is the difference between partly cloudy and partly sunny? Sorry, that's not part of the lesson – I just had to throw it in there!

The point here is that if some person or some situation comes at you from an extremely negative standpoint, then all you have to do in order to dodge that bullet is to focus on the polar opposite of whatever the negativity is, and you will immediately neutralize the extreme nature of that negativity.

People 

If someone walks up to you and starts screaming and yelling, just remain calm, and put yourself in a happy place. In fact, if you can conjure up an actual smile, that will REALLY help. It may not help the person screaming and yelling, but it will certainly help you, and what you need is what this is really all about anyway.

Your calm, cheerful demeanor will at the very least keep you from losing your cool and saying or doing something that you'll regret, and at the same time it may have the added benefit of diffusing the situation. Even the instigator of the whole thing may chill out, and both of you can then move forward without all of that negative energy.

Situations

If an extremely negative situation comes up in your life, the first thing to realize is that the situation just is what it is. You may be able to make the situation better in the future, but at the moment when you find out about (and are most susceptible to the negative effects of) the situation, simply accepting the situation for what it is needs to be the first step.

Once you have accepted the situation, then you can pull out the "opposite card". Since the goal is to avoid the negative influence that this situation could have on your state of mind, don't focus on finding a solution at this point, but rather just finding and focusing on the opposite of the situation.

Whenever you focus on the polar opposite of any given negative situation, what is the polar opposite of negative? Positive! No matter what negative situation has been presented to you, you can immediately eliminate the negativity by thinking about and FEELING about the opposite of that situation.

Remember, the goal here is not to find solutions to the situation, but rather to just protect yourself from the negativity that the situation has created.

Health

Have you ever heard the phrase "the rich get richer and the poor get poorer"? The reason why that phrase is true is because rich people focus on prosperity, while poor people focus on poverty. It is nothing more complicated or covert than the frequently proven fact that people get what they focus on. This applies to your health just as much as – if not more than – any other areas of your life.

If you wake up in the morning and think "I am so sore," or "I am so tired," or "I don't feel well," then you will continue to recreate those same feelings all day long. No matter what you do physically in order to try to alleviate those conditions, if you stay mentally focused on the fact that for some real or imagined reason you are supposed to be sore, tired, or ill, you will find a way to keep feeling exactly like that.

Focus instead on the opposite of those feelings. Yes, it will be hard at first because you DO feel sore, tired, or ill. However, by continually focusing on the opposite of those feelings, you will empower your own body to minimize or even eliminate whatever it is that caused those feelings to begin with. Or, if you can't wrap  your head around the fact that your mind controls your body (and it does!), then you should still be able to get your head around the simple fact that if you stop thinking about something unpleasant, you'll stop noticing it as well.

Your life is not just made up of the actual events that transpire during your time here on Earth, but rather how you feel about what happens to you here on Earth. Depending on your personal belief systems, you recognize that you have anywhere from partial to complete control over the physical happenings in your life, and most people exercise their level of control regularly.

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However, the one thing that is absolutely beyond debate is that you have 100% complete, utter control over what you think and what you feel as a result of those thoughts. If your life is the sum of the thoughts and feelings that you have about your physical experiences (and it is), and you can control your thoughts and your feelings 100% of the time (and you can), then doesn't it just make sense to have the best possible thoughts and feelings as often as you can?

You've got absolutely nothing to lose by attempting to use this system of dodging mental bullets, and since I don't see Wonder Woman or Superman swooping in to save your day, you might want to think about handling that responsibility on your own… 

WHAT'S NEXT?

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The human mind runs just like the hard drive on your computer does, only in an unbelievably faster and more efficient manner. However, when it comes to basic programming, the same rules apply: If you put negative stuff in, you will only get negative stuff out.

Photo Credit: Nick BenjaminszIt is not possible to program a computer – or your mind – with commands that create gibberish and chaos, but then expect what gets displayed on the screen – or in your life – to be orderly, perfect, and effective. If you want to program yourself for success then you need to lock down your mind against every single thought that is not colored with success, bathed in positivity, and wrapped up in an iron-clad sense of expectation.

It's the Predominant Thoughts that are Hurting You

Many people struggle with reprogramming themselves for success because although they practice positive thinking, they visualize, and they say their affirmations, negativity is still the predominant factor in their life. It isn't the affirmations and the visualizations that are getting in the way, but rather the thoughts and the feelings that are active the rest of the time!

Most people's lives have been drenched in negativity for so long that an "offensive" move such as visualizing or saying affirmations is just a drop in the bucket compared to the onslaught of negativity that our minds are subjected to when we are not visualizing or affirming.

The results that we have in our lives are a direct result of the thoughts and feelings that we have, and the actions that we then take as a result of those thoughts and feelings. If the majority of your life is an onslaught of negativity, then your predominant thoughts, feelings and corresponding actions will not be positive.

All you have to do to confirm this is to look around your life right now. Your life's results are a direct result of your own thoughts, feelings, and actions. If you do not have the results that you want, then your predominant thoughts are not yet programmed for success, but rather are programmed for the lack of it.

How to Break the Cycle and Program yourself for Success

There is no such thing as a "first step" here, because all of these activities should be undertaken every single day, preferably several times per day, if not all day long. Remember, the goal here is to program yourself for success, not to just give yourself a tiny spoonful.

1. Do your "feel good processes" over and over again. Full credit goes to Gary Evans and the Manifest a Miracle program for the phrase "feel good processes," because that is exactly what they should be. We're talking about visualizing, meditating, saying affirmations, practicing gratitude, etc.

   The entire point behind these practices is to make you FEEL GOOD about whatever it is that you are considering while you do them. Positive thoughts about what you want in your life will create positive results, negative thoughts will create negative results. Period.

2. Eliminate or avoid negative influences. For many people, this will mean nothing less than a radical change in their lifestyle. Negative influences can and do include friends, family members, co-workers/employers, the television and printed news, and even the television shows and movies that we watch.

   Remember: Garbage in = Trashy Results. It doesn't matter where the garbage comes from.

3. Choose carefully what advice to listen to. Avoiding negative influences doesn't just mean staying away from negative people. It can also mean to ignore negativity that comes from  sources that are normally positive or uplifting.

   Just because you are reading a book that resonates with you, that does not mean that everything in that book is going to lead you down the right path. Make your own choices about what is good in that book vs. what should go in one ear and out the other. Likewise, when seeking counsel from other people, just because they give you advice, you are not obligated to take it! Even a person that you consider to be a positive influence can give you advice that will not resonate with you, or that will not take you where you want to go.

4. Surround yourself with never-ending reminders to stay positive. There are countless ways to keep yourself reminded of the fact that you are working towards a more positive state of mind, and towards the successful attainment of your goals. Just as when taking advice, however, you should only use the methods that you are personally comfortable with, rather than using what "most people" consider to be effective. Who cares what "most people" think?

   Check out the post How to Infect Yourself with the Personal Development Virus for an awesome list of ways to stay on the fast-track to success, and make sure to use a good mix of methods. I would recommend visual methods (vision boards, pictures), audio methods (affirmations, positive recordings), and mental methods (visualization, meditation).

The bottom line to all of these methods to program yourself for success is that they all stress the INTAKE of information. Remember that your mind is like a computer and that what you put in directly affects what you get out. There is no gray area there – that is simply the way it works!

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The only way you are going to program yourself for success is to go on the offensive, and to make a conscious effort to not only have a constant intake of positive, success-filled thoughts and feelings, but to also avoid any thoughts and feelings that cancel out your success-driven mentality.

Until you learn to avoid or shield yourself from negative influences that are the opposite of your dreams, you will forever be stuck in a loop of taking one step forward, and one step back! 

WHAT'S NEXT?

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This guest post is part of an awesome series that Jeniffer has been running called The Achievers. In the series, there have been many empowering authors who have shared their secrets to success, and each of the posts in the series is worth checking out.

You can view all of the posts from the series by clicking this link to The Achievers, or you can click the link below to go directly to my guest post. If you see value in my post and/or any of the other posts at The Thirty Day Year, be sure to help Jeniffer out by adding those posts to Digg, Stumbleupon, or your favorite social bookmarking site. Enjoy!

Open The Success Floodgates by Tapping Into Your Burning Desires and Belief

Oh sure, most people make a "token" effort at improving their lives, yet how many people can honestly say that they gave it everything they had before they gave up and moved on to something else?

Photo Credit: mthrlsgoatOur lives are replete with opportunities for us to "rise above," and to excel in every conceivable manner, yet a lack of immediate gratification tends to knock us flat long before we ever even get up a full head of steam. We never even get the chance to quit trying to attain something because we never completely engaged in the process of making it happen to begin with!

Think about any area of your life where you are wanting to make improvements, and then think about how much of a true effort you are making in that regard. Give no thought to phrases such as "doing the best I can," or "doing what I can with what I've got". Release your reliance on phrases or concepts like those, as they only serve to give yourself permission to fail based on any given set of circumstance. Think more along the lines of what if your life actually depended on you being successful? Are you trying that hard? Honestly?

What's your relationship status?

If you aren't 100% happy with your relationship status, can you honestly say that you have tried every single thing in your arsenal?

• If you're single, do you act in every way like the type of person that you want to have in your life, or do you wish for that "dream mate," yet not consistently act in a manner that your dream mate would be attracted to?
• Do you go out of your way on a consistent basis to meet new people, or do you sit around at home thinking that you'll magically come across that special someone?
• Do you have a winning, confident attitude that will naturally attract prospective mates to you, or do you sit around wallowing in your loneliness?

Even if you have been taking appropriate action in each of those areas, have you been doing so for the entire span of time that you've been looking for a new mate, or have you just acted in those ways when it was convenient for you?

• If you're married or involved in a relationship that needs improvement, do you work on improving that relationship every single day, or do you think that the relationship will just heal itself?
• Do you go out of your way to do the things that will make your significant other happy, even without them doing things for you first?
• Are the needs of your significant other something that you tend to frequently, even if they don't at first reciprocate those efforts?

Although it is possible that your present relationship will not work out even if you do all of those things, until you make a consistent effort to try, you'll never know for sure what could have been.

What is your health status?

Are you one of those people who is constantly trying to lose weight or improve your health in some way, yet you keep not achieving your goals? There are very few health and fitness related improvements that can't be achieved when you truly make a consistent effort, so why is it that you can't ever seem to get there?

• Do you consistently follow the basic nutritional guidelines that we all know lead to good health, or do you eat in a manner that you know is not going to effectively get you to your goals?
• Is an effective exercise program part of your daily lifestyle, or do you let work, family, or personal obligations keep you from regularly working out?
• Do you seek out the knowledge that you need in order to power a long-term health and fitness plan, or do you hide behind your lack of understanding as an excuse?

In each of those examples, there are ways to succeed, and ways to fail, yet you can't "quit" the health and fitness scene because it "didn't work" unless you first make an honest and long-term effort to achieve success in that arena.

What is your financial status?

If you dream of financial freedom or comfort, it will require an on-going effort on your part to provide some sort of value that other people are willing to pay for. What value is it that you are providing that is supposed to ensure your financial abundance?

• If you work for yourself, do you make a daily effort to provide the best possible experience for your customers, including long-term relationship building, or do you just go after quick sales?
• Do you have systems in place for creating new or improved products and services, or do you sit around wondering why you don't have enough customers?
• If you want to start a business, do you consistently learn about and study business models and opportunities, or do you maintain your status as an underpaid employee because you lack the knowledge to do your own thing?
• If you work for someone else, and you enjoy doing so, are you making continuing efforts to provide more value to your employer, or are you just waiting for your next raise?
• Do you have a long-term plan with that company that includes specific goals, or are you simply doing your job every day, and hoping for the best?

Regardless of what your financial or employment status is right now, there is some way that you can improve those circumstances. However, unless you consistently try to improve, no one else is going to do it for you.

All of the examples given above are meant to illustrate the exact same concept: If you don't honestly try to improve, and if you don't make those efforts consistently, and over the long-term, you never really tried at all.

You have nothing to "quit" because the effort needed for you to succeed was never put in place to begin with.

WHAT'S NEXT?

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Improve your Health and your Finances

As with most well-known phrases, there is some type of real-world reason why that phrase came into being to begin with. The effects of positive thinking and negative thinking – although not official "wishes" – do nonetheless manifest out in the real world.

Have you ever known someone who was constantly unhappy, complained all the time, and seemed to always have a dark cloud hanging over their head? Likewise, have you ever known someone who was so cheery and upbeat that you would purposely seek them out when you were feeling down, because their positive attitude always made you feel better?

Photo Credit: psycho_royWith each of those types of people, the circumstances of their lives tend to be in alignment with their chronic ways of thinking. Yes, there are exceptions, but as a general rule, the phrase "the rich get richer and the poor get poorer" tends to be accurate. The reason it is accurate is not because of some cosmic conspiracy, but rather because those people habitually have rich or poor thoughts.

At the same time, habitual positive or negative thoughts will also serve to consistently create positive or negative circumstances in your life. In addition, it is not always the long-term thoughts that get you, but the short-term thoughts as well.

If you have very strong negative or positive thoughts about something, those thoughts become your dominate vibration (for you Law of Attraction fans), or your dominate driving force, and something is going to manifest out of that eventually.

The other day I allowed myself to get too stressed out over some projects that I was working on, and I ended up spending several hours reliving the stress as I was trying to discuss the situation, and come up with some solutions. Long story short, by the time the discussion was over, I felt much better, and all was well in the world.

However, the next day, I got spanked by all of that negativity coming back at me.

Although I felt great the next day, and I was back in my normal positive mood, the negativity that I had created the night before hit me first thing the next morning with some highly unexpected and generally unpleasant circumstances.

I am proud to say that I had learned my lesson, though. I kept my positive attitude about me, even though by that point I was starting to feel like life was taking pot-shots at me just for the fun of it. The result of maintaining a positive attitude about the whole thing almost immediately turned into benefits for me, however.

In one circumstance, I was able to quickly and easily fix something that otherwise would have been disastrous (ever lose 2 years worth of bookmarks in your web browser?). In the other circumstance, I was able to let it go without becoming stressed about it, and found not one, but two different ways of dealing with it, and neither of them are very time-consuming or stress-inducing.

The moral of the story is that your thoughts – whether they are positive or negative – will color your experiences from that point forward. Sometimes you'll see this effect over a lifetime, and other times you will see the effect in the short-term.

The effect is always there, however. Just like a boomerang, your predominant thoughts are sent out into the world, and then they come back and hit you upside the head.

Knowing that your thoughts will come back to you eventually in the form of your life's positive or negative experiences, why would you ever allow yourself to have a thought that you weren't going to like when it came back around?

Learn from my example: Don't toss a boomerang out there that you aren't going to want to catch when it comes back!

Related Content:

I have been listening to Mike Dooley's Infinite Possibilities program, and the experiences that I describe in this post are perfect examples of what Mike teaches in that program. That makes this whole thing even worse, because I actually KNEW BETTER than to continue with my negative thoughts, but I did it anyway. I again invite you to learn from my example, and I also encourage you to check out Infinite Possibilities. I am only on Disc 3 out of 12, and it is already proving to be far more valuable than what I paid for it.

Click below to remember what you learned!

Quotable Quotes and Merchandise for the Offline World

For my regular Today is that Day readers, this post is not going to be about personal development or self improvement. However, it IS going to be about achieving success via your website, so if that is of interest to you, then please keep reading.

A quick Primer on Social Bookmarking

For anyone who doesn't understand why people are spelling "Digg" like that, or anyone who doesn't understand why Stumbling is a good thing, this section is for you.

In short, social bookmarking is a system where you find a blog post or a web page that you like, and you cast a "vote" on sites like Digg, Stumbleupon, etc., which lets other people know that you think they should also check it out.

If someone else likes that content, then they also vote on it, someone else joins in and does the same, yet another person casts a vote, and the process continues like that over and over again. The more "votes" that page gets, the more traffic that it gets as a result.

Traffic is the key to success on the Internet. There are other factors, to be sure, but even if you have the best website in the world, if no one ever finds it, you are just spinning your wheels. 

So, the general idea is that by voting for content, you help the creator of that content to get more traffic to their website. In return, often the creator of that content will vote for your content as well, and a nice reciprocal stream of traffic is created. That stream of traffic grows larger and larger the more times that people vote for your content.

Sounds great, right? So what's the problem? 

1) There is too much voting going on

People have a tendency to think that if something is good, then MORE of it must be better. Sometimes that is the case, but often it is not. When it comes to social bookmarking, more is NOT better, and in fact, the entire process can backfire on you.

Social bookmarking sites are looking for extraordinary content, not just run of the mill stuff. It doesn't matter how great of a writer you are, every single thing that ends up on your blog or your web page is not "vote-worthy". Social bookmarking has become so competitive that people are asking for votes for every single thing that they put up on the Internet, which entirely defeats the purpose of the entire social bookmarking industry.

How you can fix it:

Only vote for content that is TRULY outstanding or useful, and only ASK FOR votes on content that is truly outstanding or useful. Just because you have a fleet of "voting buddies" doesn't mean that every single thing that any of you write is worth sharing with the world at large.

Yes, put up all of the content that you want on your blog or your website, but don't clog up the social bookmarking system by voting for everything that comes your way, or asking for votes on every single thing that you write.

p.s. – Practice what you preach in this regard. Don't sweep other people's content under the rug while only being partial to your own. 

2) There are too many social bookmarking sites

Digg is the most heavily-trafficked social bookmarking site (at the moment), followed closely by Stumbeupon. Both of those sites have a lot to offer, yet both also have short-comings. I won't get into the details of that since that is a discussion all by itself.

The same "more is better" mentality that I mentioned above has permeated the social bookmarking website creation sector. Although there are several large(ish) sites such as Reddit, Del.icio.us., and Propeller (to name a few), there are dozens of smaller sites that have popped up as well.

Since most people with websites or blogs want as much traffic as possible, everyone is scattering to get votes at as many of these sites as possible. Again, that seems logical, but it's really not.

Each of these sites has their own unique communities and ways of doing business, and it is simply not possible to be an active member in twelve different social bookmarking communities – not if you have a job and/or a life, that is.

People who are trying to become popular on all of these different websites are just compounding the problem by once again "clogging up" the social bookmarking system, not to mention annoying their social bookmarking friends by asking for votes on so many different websites all the time.

How you can fix it:

Stick to a small number of websites where you are building up your community involvement, and ONLY interact on those websites (for the record, check out the Digg, Stumbleupon, and Mixx buttons below to see me practicing what I preach).

Become an active member in those communities by providing OUTSTANDING content for those communities to vote on, and also vote on other OUTSTANDING stories that you find there. Keep your chosen communities "clean" by not muddying the waters by voting for a bunch of crap content that no one really cares about, and certainly don't provide that type of content yourself.

If you really want to try out more than just 3 or 4 social bookmarking sites, then simply build up your presence in one community, and then move on to other communities later. 

3) The contact systems for these websites are broken

Most Digg users have hundreds (if not thousands) of "friends" on Digg, yet the Digg system will only let you send "shouts" out to 15 people at a time letting them know about the content that you want them to check out.

Stumbleupon will only let you send a message to ONE person at a time.

Some of the other sites don't have a messaging system at all.

The entire idea behind social bookmarking is to share outstanding content, yet these websites make it very difficult for you to do that. The reasoning behind that is probably so that hundreds (or thousands) of people don't start spamming each other every day.

The solution to sharing content with people who may be interested enough in your content to vote for it is to make sure that they are interested to begin with!

Adding friends on social bookmarking sites is nothing more than a "I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine" arrangement, and often that leads to seriously one-sided efforts. One person votes for their "friend's" content all the time, while those alleged friends rarely return the favor. 

How you can fix it: 

Get involved in social bookmarking groups where all members agree to give due diligence to each other's vote requests, and then manage the entire process via email. Using email requires each person to actually make an effort (what a concept!), rather than just blindly using some broken contact system that includes zero accountability on either end of the equation.

Yes, I can hear you now: I already get too much email!

I am involved with several of these email-only groups right now, and with the exception of Digg (where until today I was using their broken "shout" system) I spend approximately 1 hour per day reading and voting on my friend's requests. When I send emails to those same people asking them to check out my stories, it results in an absolute flood of traffic, because my email partners reciprocate my efforts by voting for my content that is worth voting for.

If you aren't willing to take the time to open a
n email, click a link, and then cast a vote once you get to the site, then you aren't going to have time to do the same thing using any of the site-specific content sharing functionalities, either.

By doing the entire process via email, you can ensure that your social bookmarking partners are reciprocating your efforts, because it is easy to keep track of who is active and who is not. Even if you have an extremely active email network of social bookmarking partners, it is not difficult to keep track of who is voting for your content.

WHAT TO DO NEXT:

If you want more information about this entire process, or if you already understand and want to start getting the best possible return on your time investment when it comes to social bookmarking, then do the following:

1) Join my personal social bookmarking network. My email address is aaron@todayisthatday.com. Send me an email and let me know that you want to exchange content for social bookmarking purposes, and I'll add you to my distribution list. In return, I will look at every piece of content that you send me, and any content worth sharing will get voted on.

2) Instead of (or in addition to) joining my personal network, start one of your own. Contact other bloggers or website owners and tell them that you want to exchange social bookmarking efforts. Most will be more than happy to. Social bookmarking is a free and easy way to get loads of traffic to your website.

3) Take the information from this post back to Digg, Stumbleupon, or any of the other sites, and use it to be a better community member. Vote for outstanding content, share outstanding content, and leave the crap content behind.

p.s. – To my present social bookmarking partners: I WILL NOT BE USING any of the shout/share/messaging features on any of the social bookmarking sites anymore. If you want to share your content for vote consideration, send me an email and I WILL check it out, and vote for it if it provides value!

The question hasn't been answered yet because happiness is completely subjective. Each person has their own definition.

Nonetheless, learning how other happy and successful people in the world define happiness is certainly something that can help each and every person to solidify what happiness is for them, and then use that knowledge to empower themselves to increase their own levels of happiness and success.

That being said, please take the 5 minutes that it will take you to read the interview that Alex Shalman did with me as part of his Happiness Project. Not only will you learn the happiness formula as defined by yours truly – someone who has seen similar pain, sadness, fear, and frustration in life that YOU have – but you can also contribute to a good cause in the process.

After reading the interview, leave a comment on the blog post with your thoughts on happiness, or the interview itself. Alex is giving $200 to charity in the name of the person whose interview gets the most comments, and I know from running this blog for more than a year now that you people can talk!

Take part in your own happiness by taking part in The Happiness Project, and contributing to the conversation:

Well, that conference call turned into such a massive amount of quality information about conscious creation and personal growth that it was decided to actually break up the call into mini interviews with each of the Thought Leaders so people could pick and choose who they wanted to hear from.

I was one of the Thought Leaders who was interviewed, and since I know that people rarely get a chance to put a "voice to the blog," I'm happy to announce that all of the Thought Leader interviews can be accessed by going to the free Power of Our Way Teleseminar Event Audios page.

If you have any plans at all to consciously create a wonderful life for yourself in 2008, please do yourself the favor of checking out that page and giving a listen to the interview with me, as well as many of the other Thought Leaders. There was some incredible information shared, and each interview is only around 20 minutes long, so you can grab some empowering information for free without taking up too much of your time.

Anita Pathik Law, the founder of Power of Our Way, gave each Thought Leader the chance to answer these 3 questions, and the answers were empowering, to say the least:

1. What do you see as the greatest opportunities today for people to “shift” within their consciousness and behavior, that when aware and managed, can make a significant difference in how we view ourselves, others and the world?
2. What is your favorite and most effective shifting ritual – essentially, this is what you personally do; some strategy, tool or practice that you utilize when you know you need to shift your energy, thoughts, beliefs, non-serving behaviors, or to move out of an energetic funk that is non-conducive to conscious co-creation or peace building?
3. What is one thing you teach that can change people’s lives and the world?

Each of the Thought Leaders had unique and empowering answers to those questions, and you can listen to my answers along with everyone else's at this page.

In addition, the Power of Our Way Community Call-in Program kicks off on January 1, 2008, and includes products from all of the Thought Leaders who were on the call, including my own very popular eBook, Energy Harmonics.

Give my audio interview a listen, and feel free to let me know your thoughts and your questions via email, or in the comments section below!

If you've seen these posts before, then go ahead and revisit them – most of what I write is timeless. If you haven't, then here is a chance to see some great content from the past that you missed the first time around. Enjoy!

• The Law of Attraction meets Neuro-psychology – Discussion of how we are hard-wired to respond to our lives in a certain way based on our experiences. In short, we have the ability to actually program ourselves for success by acting successful and being around people who act the same way.
• If you need it, you’re sunk… – We all have the ability to roadblock our own success by feeling that we "need" something vs. simply feeling good about the fact that we wanted it to begin with.
• Is the water too cold…? – Discussion of how we tend to not take advantage of the knowledge and opportunities that present themselves in our lives. By realizing when this happens, we become empowered to start making changes instead of missing opportunities.
• Remembering your Role – You are the creator of your life; your success and your happiness are 100% in your own control. This post goes into more detail about your glorious role in the entire process.

According to EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) practitioners, it really is as simple as that. EFT is becoming more and more of a mainstream practice every day, including the release of a new documentary entitled Try it on Everything, and I have included a link to the trailer for that movie below.

However, as with any new idea, there is confusion, resistance, and disbelief, so I thought I would do my part to fill in some of the gaps by answering the question:

"What is EFT?"

In essence, the Emotional Freedom Technique is a system whereby you balance out your body's natural energy systems by applying pressure to the Meridian points of your body, just as acupuncture practitioners do – only without the needles!

It is a foregone conclusion that our subconscious minds control over 90% of our lives – some people think that number is closer to 95% or more. That being said, a conscious thought about something only makes up between 5%-10% of our total thoughts about that thing, and that is why many people have difficulty achieving success.

Ask yourself how many times you have said, "This time I'm really going to lose the weight," or "I am so tired of being broke and I am willing to do whatever it takes to have more money".

Almost all of us have used statements like those about various subjects over the years. Yet here it is, all those years later, and many people are still struggling with those same issues.

For a lot of people, the continual struggle is due to the fact that their positive and empowering conscious statements say one thing, but their subconscious mind – which is considerably more powerful – is saying something else entirely, usually based on some sort of self-limiting belief.

When our subconscious mind enters into the mix, it controls 90%-95% of the way that our energy flows, so regardless of how emphatically we make consciously empowering statements, it is still just a drop in the bucket compared to the power that our subconscious mind has over our flow of energy.

EFT is a system that allows you to reprogram your subconscious mind by "tapping" on the Meridian points on your body while first surfacing – then reprogramming – your self-limiting beliefs.

For example:

While going through the tapping points on your body, you say a short "set up phrase" that would bring the issue to the surface:

"Even though I feel very overweight and have low self-confidence…"

That is Part I of the phrase. Part II of the phrase is where you release your resistance to whatever your issue is by simply allowing yourself to be okay with it:

"…I deeply and completely love and accept myself."

So, you would go through that phrase and similar phrases, all the while tapping on these Meridian points in the body. Most present EFT practitioners have 9 major Meridian points that they use.

After going through anywhere from 1 to 5 rounds of saying your set up phrase and its corresponding releasing phrase, you then finish your EFT session by going through an entire round of a reprogramming phrase:

"I am slim, healthy, and attractive, and I have a very high level of self-confidence."

"Now that my weight is under control, I enjoy a vigorous and active lifestyle."

"Since I am no longer overweight, I am involved in a passionate and secure relationship."

Again, those are just examples that I put together in order to illustrate the process. In actual EFT sessions, both the set up phrase as well as the reprogramming statements have an extreme amount of flexibility.

There are no "right or wrong" set up phrases or reprogramming statements. Rather, you are encouraged to say whatever comes to your mind during the session, since it is your own self-limiting beliefs that are surfacing, not some canned version of doubt that applies to just anyone. 

Does it work?

The short answer is Yes, absolutely. EFT has helped countless people and it is the cornerstone of many different self-help programs. The long answer is that EFT is simply a method for bringing your self-limiting beliefs to the surface, and then dealing with them.

It is important for people to understand that the systems and tools that are available for our use are not the "answer". It is our own consciously applied realization that we can control our lives that is the true power.

EFT, Ho'oponopono, the Law of Attraction – all of these concepts boil down to the same thing: Consistent, conscious control of our thoughts, feelings, and actions¹ will create the circumstances that will allow unconscious forces to line up in such a way as to bring us what we want out of life. 

The Emotional Freedom Technique is a great system, and I certainly encourage you to check it out if it resonates with you.

If you decide that you want to learn more, Joe Vitale (teacher from The Secret, and pictured below) and Brad Yates, one of the most respected EFT practitioners, have an EFT product that they built together. They called it Money Beyond Belief, although several times they call out the fact that using EFT for financial gain is only one possible use.

Take the time to learn more about EFT, and if the process resonates with you, then FREE YOUR MIND! 

Movie Trailer for 'Try it on Everything'

Money Beyond Belief EFT Program

 Discuss this post at Personal Development Partners

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1 – James Arthur Ray

However you personally define success, everyone is looking for something. A great way to set yourself up for a launch into the realm of massive success in any given endeavor is to simply ask yourself:

Have I ever had any success in this area?

The reason why you want to ask yourself that question is because you are looking to get a firm grasp on a very useful concept: Belief.

Once you accomplish something – even on an incredibly small scale – you have proven to yourself that it is possible to do that thing. Now all you have to do is replicate the process in order to see bigger, better, and more long-term results.

Here are some examples to give you an idea of how this concept works. Once you understand it, then applying it to your life will be a simple matter of plugging in your own success history in order to pave the way for more permanent and long-term success.

1) Relationships

If your goal is to have a great long-term relationship, but you are starting to get frustrated with your lack of results, then simply ask yourself what you have done in the past that has been successful.

Did your past successful relationships start out from your present position of frustration, anxiety, or loneliness, or did they start out filled with fun, passion, and confidence?

Whatever your emotional state was that attracted relationship success in the past is what will attract future relationship success as well. It is not about finding the right person. A relationship starts with you, so look back on your past successes, think of what you did right, and start doing it again.

2) Financial Success

Who doesn't want more money or other abundance in their life? Yet, for so many people it is one of the most difficult to attain goals.

At some point in your past, were you more financially well off than you are now? If so, what was different about your state of mind then? Were you ambitious, confident, and full of energy for your future? If so, compare that to a state of mind that is based in feelings of lack, uncertainty, fear, or even shame.

If your previous financial success came about during a time when you were more mentally "on task" for success, then recapture that state of mind and you are guaranteed to start having more opportunities for abundance now.

3) Weight Loss

Have you ever lost even 1 pound during your weight loss efforts? What about 5 or even 10 pounds? Most people have seen some measure of success in their efforts to lose weight, but for whatever reason, that success did not last.

This may sound simplistic – and indeed it is – but what did you do to lose the weight that you lost in the past? Whatever it was, you have proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that weight loss is possible. Now all you have to do is replicate your own efforts until you get to your goal.

Seem too simple? That's because it is. Try it and see for yourself.

4) Career Success

Some people will be able to recall a time in their lives when they were happier at work than they are right now. It might even be way back to when you were a teenager, and even working for minimum wage meant cash to have fun with your friends, or to go out with your boyfriend or girlfriend.

What was your state of mind like then? Was it steeped in topics such as freedom, happily spending the money that you were making, or even just getting an education or a level of work experience that brought you joy?

Compare that to how you might feel now. Does your present position (or lack thereof) fill you will joy, hope, and excitement? If not, then find a career option that does fill you with those feelings and you will have found a direct path back to your previous level of career satisfaction.

5) Personal Contentment

Are you more happy and content right now than you have ever been in your life? If you are, then don't change a thing! However, for everyone else, plug in the same variables that have been discussed already.

When was the time in your life when you were the most happy and content? Again, this might have been a long time ago, but that doesn't mean that you can't recapture that same level of joy again.

Think back to what it was about your life that made you so happy back then. Yes, there may have been certain material or physical characteristics (money, better health, etc.), but try to block those out for a moment and think about why you were so happy.  

It was likely due to a feeling of excitement for the future, a level of freedom, high self-confidence, etc. Even if you can't replicate the actual circumstances from your past, you can – and should – replicate that state of mind. It's a state of mind, meaning that you control it, and changing it won't cost you a thing.

The bottom line to all of this is that even though your life may not be exactly what you want it to be right now, you can fill yourself with confidence and excitement for a brighter future by simply looking to your own past.

In any area of your life where your past was brighter than your present, you already have the irrefutable proof that you have it inside of you to be successful in that area.

Now all you have to do is copy your own notes!

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I'm a big believer in positive thinking myself, and encourage its proper use in order to help us through rough times, as well as simply making life a more enjoyable experience. I am a member of the Positive Blog Network, and, along with my fellow members, enjoy using my writing as a tool to help people make positive changes in their lives. 

However, that being said, positive thinking has not been accepted by everyone as the "cure all" that some others seem to think it is. As a result, like most powerful processes that are known to mankind, there is a debate as to the real value of positive thinking vs. whether or not it amounts to little more than wishful thinking.

The positive thinkers in the world will swear that positive thinking is an actual lifestyle that is the basis for everything that they do. However, people who aren't quite so convinced tend to focus on success tools that are more measurable in their effectiveness.

So, although I myself am an admitted (and proud!) positive thinker, I also believe that keeping an open mind and being aware of both sides of any given coin is always a good idea. To that end, I have put together a few of the potential problems with positive thinking so that you, dear reader, can make your own choices about whether or not to include positive thinking as part of your lifestyle success strategy.

The Problems with Positive Thinking

Positive thinking doesn't "fix" things – Although it is true that any imaginable situation can be made better by having a positive attitude about the situation itself, that does not mean that positive thinking can change the details of the situation.

If you forget to zip your laptop case and your beloved portable pal comes tumbling out onto the sidewalk and smashes into a thousand pieces, having a positive attitude will not change the fact of what happened. Yes, you can "look on the bright side" and say that you were thinking about getting a new computer anyway, but you will still have to get the new computer! 

The difference between a positive and a negative thinker, however, is that the negative thinker will consider all of the ways that the broken computer is going to cause problems in their life, while the positive thinker will consider all of the ways that life will be better now that this has happened.

Both people, however, will still need to get a new computer. One of them will just be happier about it than the other one. 

Positive thinking is not the only action to take – Looking on the bright side of any given situation is a powerful way to get through times that otherwise might bring you down. However, having a positive attitude is not the sole answer to any given problem.

Using the previous example of the laptop that went for a tumble on the sidewalk, the option is there to have a negative or a positive response to that incident. Yet, even if you manage to conjure up a list of reasons why your laptop being smashed on the sidewalk is a good thing, you cannot lose sight of the fact that you need to zip up your laptop case in the future.

Having a positive attitude may make that situation better, but if you fail to take action on the lesson that you learned, then you may find it difficult to see the silver lining after another laptop or two comes tumbling out of your bag and smashes on the sidewalk! 

Positive thinking can blind you – Perhaps the biggest problem with positive thinking is that running around with a big ol' smile on your face like life is nothing but a big vacation is simply not realistic, and having that attitude can blind you to circumstances that are not so positive.

I'm not saying that you should go through life with an expectation that something bad is about to happen, but you should go through life aware of the details of any given set of circumstances.  

Whether you are talking about something as mundane as a work-place full of people who are just looking out for themselves, or if you are talking about something more physically dangerous, such as walking through a bad part of town at night, there are things that a positive attitude will not protect you from.

If something does happen to you that you perceive to be negative, then yes, your positive attitude will help you to recover from it quickly, to learn from it, and to go on with a better life afterwards. However, there are plenty of people and circumstances in the world that are not positive, so do not let your own chipper demeanor keep you from seeing those people or situations for what they really are. 

Positive thinking can damage relationships if used improperly – No matter how much any given person wants to have a great attitude about life, there will always be people who won't – at any given moment – be prepared to hear that "every cloud has a silver lining". 

When negative things happen to some people, they need to let off some steam or do some healing before they are ready to start looking for the positive lesson in whatever negative thing just happened.

As the consummate positive thinker yourself, you already have a well-stocked bag of  tricks for dealing with the negative situations that life throws at you. However, not everyone wants the "mojo" that you keep in your goodie bag, and by trying to force it on them before they are ready, you could permanently damage that relationship.

If you are the type of positive thinker who has zero time for negativity, and you don't want to hear people whining or complaining about their lives, then that is your choice.

However, don't be surprised when some people turn away from you and start seeking solace and comfort with someone else who is more willing to give them their time to grieve, mourn, or even just throw a much needed temper-tantrum.

Personally, I fall more into the "don't bring your negativity into my presence" crowd. However, at the same time, I recognize that not everyone sees life as brightly and positively as I do, so I keep a reasonable amount of patience saved up for rough times.

If someone comes to me with a negative circumstance in their life, I have a shoulder for them to cry on, and some good words of encouragement. However, if – after a reasonable amount of time – they are not willing to find the silver lining and move on with their lives, then I have to let them find their answers elsewhere.

Is that a positive attitude on my part? That probably depends on who you ask! However, no matter who you ask, it is a growth attitude on my part, where I encourage people to grow, rather than stagnate in a pool of negativity based on the curve balls that life throws at them. 

So, does all of this mean that I am giving up on the "power of the positive"? Hardl
y! However, no matter what aspect of life you are talking about, it is wise to understand how and why it all works so that educated and appropriate decisions can be made.

I hope that this information has helped you be prepared to do exactly that!

This post was inspired by the very positive efforts of Kirsten Harrell, whose Positive Thinking Day project is one very much worth checking out! Click on through to Kirsten's website at ipopin.com to see how you can participate and take part in a new ebook that she is publishing. The book will be given away as a bonus to people who make a donation to the very worthwhile Christopher and Dana Reeve Foundation. Awesome stuff!

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Are you ready for it?

Can you handle the suspense?

Can't you just taste the sweet victory about to be held firmly in your grasp?

Okay, don't say I didn't warn you about how simple it is:

Decide what kind of person you are NOT going to be.

That's it, that's all. Your secret to having inner-peace, a low level of stress in your life, and a high level of personal success. All you have to do is decide what kind of person you are NOT going to be in any area of your life that you would like to improve.

The reason why this is so easy is because it simplifies the decision-making process about how you are going to act (or not act!) in any given situation.

For example, let's choose a few personality traits from our colorful list, assign them to certain people, and look at how they might respond to various situations:

Tolerance

Frank decides that even though it drives him absolutely crazy when his kids don't clean their bedroom, he is not going to be the kind of person who creates negativity by screaming and yelling at disobedient children, and from this day forth he will be tolerant.

Well, sure enough, it isn't long before Suzie and Tommy put old Frank to the test, and their rooms are completely trashed when Frank gets home after a long, hard day at work.

When Frank sees the disaster area where their bedrooms used to be, his initial reaction is to fly off the handle and start shouting. However, rather than attempt to implement some sort of complicated self improvement (or self control!) mantra, Frank simply says quietly in his mind:

"I am not the kind of person who yells at my children."

The situation itself hasn't changed, but Frank – if he is going to honor his promise to himself – has no choice but to calm down and stay level-headed.

Hard Working

Beth realizes one day that the reason why she hasn't attained financial success is because when push comes to shove, she always backs down from consistently working hard towards her financial goals. She makes a vow to herself that from now on, she is going to be a hard working person.

Well, it doesn't take long before Beth has a 5-hour time slot on a Friday night all lined up to work on her Internet marketing business, and she'll be able to send out an income-producing sales letter as a result.

However, just as Beth is sitting down after dinner on Friday night to get to work, one of her friends calls her up and says that the gang is all going downtown to tear it up and have a good time. What is Beth to do?? In her mind she repeats her promise to herself:

"I am not the kind of person who skips out on doing her work."

Sure, it would be tough, but Beth also knows another little phrase to get through times like these:

"Do today what others won't so you can do tomorrow what others can't."

Joyful

Bob has always had a hard time relaxing. He has a strong work ethic, big plans for the future, and he knows that he has his work cut out for him as he strides confidently towards his dreams. In fact, he works so hard that over the course of the years he has forgotten how to relax and have a good time!

Even when he takes time away from his responsibilities, he finds it difficult to really let loose and enjoy himself, because he knows that once he gets back to work, he will be that much farther behind after taking time off.

However, he realizes that balance is one of the primary keys to success, so Bob promises himself that he is going to start having fun. In fact, he decides to pull out all the stops and make his life nothing less than joyful.

Nonetheless, as he is preparing to spend a rare Saturday afternoon with his friends, his old habits start to kick in and he thinks about the 6 or 8 solid hours of work time that he will be missing by taking the rest of the day off. His heart rate increases, he starts feeling stressed out, and he is beginning to think that the fun can wait until later in life – he has work to do! Then he remembers:

"I am not the kind of person who puts the joy of life on hold for the sake of getting the job done."

Next thing you know, Bob is out the door and it isn't long before he is having so much fun that he can't believe he almost talked himself out of going!

Can you see the stark simplicity of this process? Frank, Beth, and Bob did not have to memorize some complex routine to get them through their tough moments.

They did not have to consult a checklist, hop into a meditative state, or even take a deep breath and count to 10. All they had to do was use a one sentence reminder of a promise that they made to themselves.

They promised themselves that they would not be a certain type of person, and by keeping that sacred promise, all they ever have to do is ask themselves;

• Would a tolerant person do what I am about to do?



• Would a hard working person do what I am about to do?
• Would a joyful person do what I am about to do?

If the answer is "yes," then go forth and honor yourself and your future by doing what you know is right.

If the answer is "no," and you do it anyway, then another question comes up:

If you can't be honest with yourself, who can you be honest with?

Think about it. 

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Actually, let me ask you this instead: Even if maintaining a positive and upbeat state of mind had nothing to do with success, isn't life just more fun that way??

Personally, I believe that keeping a positive attitude is one of the primary keys to success, and for Law of Attraction believers, this is known as having a "high vibration".

The higher your vibration is, the more you will attract circumstances into your life that will allow you to continue to have a high vibration.

You can even break this down to a personal level. Whenever you are feeling bored, lethargic, sad, or just generally "blah," do you tend to attract people who are energetic and full of life? Probably not.

I see keeping a high vibration as not only one of the top secrets to success, but more importantly, it is an enjoyable way to go through life!

We will all certainly have circumstances thrown at us that are not all sugar and spice and everything nice, so having the ability to maintain a positive, highly-charged vibration is a skill that I see as necessary for a happy life, not just recommended.

Cardin Routh over at Optimist Lab put together a group writing project based on the concept of learning how to keep a high vibration by asking around the blogosphere about how other people do it.

Hats off to Cardin for coming up with such a great idea. She even added value to it by asking people to list 5 positive vibe blog posts, and then adding those posts to the High Vibe It website. Considering the Today is that Day Link Love series, I had no trouble coming up with 5 great posts to share. Those posts are also listed below for you to check out.

Cardin also asked each of the bloggers to list the Top 5 things that they do in order to raise their vibrations, and I highly encourage you to check out her list of present participants in order to see some of the cool vibration-raising habits that people have.

However, here at Today is that Day, I am only going to list 1 habit. Not because I don't see the value in learning about dozens of great habits, but because I only use one.

I Remember.

I have been studying the Law of Attraction along with similar and complimentary self improvement habits such as deliberate and conscious creation for a long time now, and quite frankly, I'm sold.

I don't need to see any more movies, read any more books, or get beat over the head with any more propaganda in order for me to believe that I am utterly and completely in charge of how I feel, and the fact that I how I feel from moment to moment creates my life.

So, if I feel dull, listless, unmotivated, and just generally uninterested in life, then I will have a dull, listless, unmotivated and generally uninteresting life.

On the other hand, if I realize that every single moment is a chance for me to sit up straight, consciously realize my state of mind, and make any adjustments necessary, then I end up with a life full of consciously created moments.

Now, I can't speak for you, but personally, I am not going to say, "Hmmmm…I think I'll decide to feel like crap right now," or "I'm sick of being happy, let me conjure up some feelings of despair, loss, and loneliness. Yeah, that's the ticket!".  

Sorry – ain't gonna happen!

When you come to realize that literally every single second of your life is a chance for you to manufacture happiness, love, and fulfillment from the inside out, life does a funny thing; it starts manufacturing circumstances on the outside to match the feelings that you conjured up from the inside.

You can call that the Law of Attraction, you can call it luck, you can call it karma, you can even call it wishful thinking. I don't really care what you call it. It doesn't need a name.

It just is.

If I start to feel anything less than ecstatic about my life, all it takes for me to raise my vibrations is to remember that I am the only one who has the power to do that.

And then I just do it. 

Some of my favorite high-vibe posts from the past:

Christine Kane – You Teach People How to Treat You – This entire post empowers me every time I read it, and nuggets such as "…you are accountable for living by your owner’s manual…" and "…this is a process, not an event…" are just icing on the cake.

Shards of Consciousness – What will I do later? – A great reminder about living in the moment at ALL times, and truly enjoying it when you give yourself down time.

Brian Kim – Why The Underdog Team Pulls Off The Upset – Brian's post includes the powerful truth that intense desire is the key to success and that no man or woman is an island.

Optimist Lab – What I Learned at the Taco Shack – A moving story from Cardin Routh that teaches the simple truth that happiness is where you make it! 

Steve Olson – The Truth About Oprah Winfrey – The Secret – and Poverty -A great post that breaks down the difference between focusing on the positive vs. the negative, and includes this wonderful reminder quote: "When you feel trapped in poverty and hopelessness, changing the way you think is critical to escaping."  

The reach of this blog has expanded by leaps and bounds in recent months, and that is just the beginning. There are several on-going projects, as well as some new things that are coming up that will continue to make this blog a great community where everyone gets to have fun, learn, and be empowered!

Here is a brief (although not all-encompassing) list of the latest news:

1) Although I am still getting frequent new participants in the Simply Successful Secrets project, I am going to go ahead and put a cap on that project so that I can finalize the results, share them with everyone, and get the Link Love out to the over 150 people who participated!

I think I did a good job of scouring the 'net and grabbing the URL's of everyone who came on board. For most of you, I also got the chance to drop a comment on your site, although if I haven't done that yet, rest assured that I will soon.

I am going to call the ball on Simply Successful Secrets and say that everyone who wants to participate needs to do so by May 10, 2007. That will give me 5 days to gather and analyze all of the data, put together the master list of Success Secrets, and also compose a post that includes that list, as well as links to the websites of everyone who participated.

To see if I have your entry, you can click right here to download the present list of URL's I have of people who came on board. That is a simple text file that anyone with a computer can open. Search it for your domain or URL (Ctrl +F for Windows users) and make sure that I have your entry.

If your URL is not in that list, please send me an email and let me know the URL of your list of Success Secrets. I want to make sure that everyone gets credit for participating in such a great project!

2) For my fellow search engine optimization junkies and Internet technofiles, you will all be well aware that Google is doing a Page Rank update right now.

Although it has yet to hit all of the data centers (44 out of 70 or so at last count), I am proud to announce that the Today is that Day blog now has a Google Page Rank of 4!

What that means in laymen's terms is that this blog will continue to grow in traffic as well as community members, which means more interaction for everyone, more points of view, and more Link Love to go around!

p.s. – 3 months ago this site was a PR 2, so to double your Page Rank in 3 months is worth celebrating!

3) As I announced about a week ago, I have launched a new blog that is geared specifically towards teaching people about health, fitness, weight loss, etc.

In order to commemorate (how often do you get to use THAT in a sentence?) the launch of that site, I have decided to put together a very cool new health and fitness product. 

The product won't "officially" launch until May 15th, but if you are interested in cleaning up your health a bit or dropping a few pounds, you can head over to Fitness Destinations and take a gander at the post that has all of the details, or just cruise on over to the Today is that Day product page.

4) The details are not written in stone yet, but as of this writing, the Today is that Day blog has been extended an official invitation to participate in a "Book Blog Tour" for what looks to be a very cool book about living an inspired life.

Assuming that the scheduling goes as expected, I will be given a copy of the book in order to read it, quiz the author about the contents, and then present a very informed book review to all of you.

I get good vibes from the people who have approached me about this, so I think the book will be worth at least checking out my review, if not actually picking it up for yourself.

5) And finally, in the midst of all of this wonderfullness (and no, that is not a word, but I don't care!) I am also going to take a few well-deserved days off.

May 3rd of this year is a very special date for me because it is the 4th anniversary of the day my lovely wife Amy and I got married, and – in a very cool twist of fate – we are leaving town to attend the wedding of the minister who performed our ceremony! No, he is not a man of the cloth, but he is an ordained minister in the State of Florida, so he legally performed our ceremony 4 years ago.

His name is Michael and he is one my best friends in all the world. He is marrying his sweetheart of many years, Ms. Lisa, and we are heading over to Panama City, FL to attend the festivities during the few days before the wedding, and I am also standing up in the ceremony itself.

I couldn't be happier for my friend and Ms. Lisa, and I'm also happy to say that my wife and I have made it through 4 years of marriage and we're both still here to speak of it!

I will have very limited Internet access during our 4-day trip, so I am setting up several blog posts in advance to go out automatically (I love WordPress!). However, comment moderation and responding to email will both probably be slower than normal (is that even possible?), so I'll thank you in advance for your patience.

Well, I think that about wraps it up for now. My spirits are high as both my personal and my professional life are cruising along in a wonderful manner, and I would like to thank each and every one of you for playing your part in that process!

p.s. – If you have ever doubted whether or not I am as much of a goofball as I sometimes seem to be in my writing, check out this picture taken after my wedding ceremony 4 years ago. If you've ever seen 'The Matrix' you'll recognize the pose!

That's my wife and I in the middle, and Michael, the Groom-to-Be for this weekend's upcoming nuptials on the far right. I'm just glad that during HIS ceremony, all I have to do is stand there and look dashing in a tuxedo….

QUICK! Don't think – just answer!

The problems start when we start thinking, which is where the whole process of getting what we want out of life starts to break down – almost immediately.

We are powered by our conscious minds which control all of the decisions that we make seemingly "on purpose," but our subconscious minds are the real powerhouse behind our thought processes – and thus – our results in life.

In the example above, you may have had a gut reaction to the question, like wanting a million dollars, or world peace, or the perfect mate, etc. However, as soon as your conscious mind started to analyze the situation, it immediately started throwing out reasons why you can't have whatever it is that you thought of. 

So the challenge before you now is to ignore for the moment what you think you can have, and be totally honest with yourself about what you would want if you could literally have anything that you could imagine. Is it something Worth Wanting?

Dr. Rob Williams and Dr. Bruce Lipton are the founders of the amazing Psych-K system of destroying the self-limiting belief systems that are often responsible for holding us back from attaining our peak potential.

However, in an interview that Dr. Williams recently did with Kelly Howell of BrainSync.com, he explained that getting rid of self-limiting beliefs is just the first stage of personal development. 

It isn't really that difficult for our conscious mind to grasp that unhealthy, unethical, or irresponsible practices are not good for us. However, many people fail because they are then stuck with answering the question of what it is that they do want.

Based on our almost instinctive ability to rationalize or use logic to determine whether or not it is even possible for us to attain any given goal, most human beings simply lack the internal programming needed to allow ourselves to believe that we can truly attain our most heartfelt desires.

So, rather than actually wanting to attain something that we have a burning desire for – something that we deem Worthy – we instead "settle" for what our internal programming says it is possible for us to actually get. 

In the Psych-K workshops, Dr. Williams, Dr. Lipton, and several dozen other instructors around the world use a popular belief testing system called "muscle testing" to determine if the statements that we make about our lives are deeply rooted in the subconscious, or if those statements are just our conscious minds rationalizing and categorizing our beliefs about the world around us.

So, although this post is far from an infomercial for the Psych-K system (I've never been to one of their workshops), I do feel strongly about at least bringing up the very real truth that many people are going through their lives chasing after dreams that they think they can someday catch.

Knowing that is the case, ask yourself the following:

"If I could have anything that I wanted – no matter how far-fetched or unrealistic it seemed – what is worthy of me actually wanting it?"

When you have your answer, you'll also have a direction for your life.

Pretty cool, huh?

However, few of them have impressed me as completely and as rapidly as the massively talented Shama Hyder!

Shama and I decided right off the bat that we needed to work together, and I am very excited about the possibilities that are presented by being in league with someone of Shama's character and professionalism.

To get things started, we have agreed to exchange online interviews with each other so that both of our audiences can learn more about each of us. My interview on her site can be found right here, and you can learn what Shama brings to the table by reading through her story below. Enjoy!

Shama, as a Success Coach, I'm sure that you have seen many different ways that people define what "success" is. Is there a definition that you teach people, or is it up to the individual to decide what success means for them?

Success is when you look forward to Monday mornings Aaron – at least for me! I think success is achieved when a person is living a truly divine and charmed life. And divine and charmed mean different things to different people. They make their own definitions – I help them get there.

At the Divine Reach Coaching website, you list the fact that you are the creator of the WOW Coaching Process, and that clients have referred to you as the "miracle worker". Those sound like some pretty big shoes to fill. Can you give us some more details?

The WOW process I use is simple yet powerful. It gets to the core of an issue and gets results. As for the “miracle worker” part, I think that comes from people’s own sense of empowerment. When they see how powerful the law of attraction is and they start attracting amazing things into their life – they are floored. Miracles are supposed to be a natural part of life! I teach my clients how to get out of their own way to let them happen. In that sense, I guess the title fits.  = )

The "coaching" field in general seems to be growing as more people realize that it is okay to work with others in order to achieve success. However, the lines may also seem blurry to someone who doesn't really know what a "coach" is. Can you give us some clarification?

All successful people have coaches Aaron. The athletes, the musicians, the artists. Everyone who is really serious about making it big needs a coach. I think the difference is that more and more people realize that they too can have that success. It is not reserved for a select few.  I end all my newsletters with this quote from Michael Neil - "A therapist fixes what's broken (usually you!), a consultant tells you what to do, and a coach, like the single-decker vehicle, is comfortably equipped and trained to help you get wherever you want to go." That is the perfect definition of a coach!

On your blog you call out many different aspects of who you are as a person – which is very cool, by the way. Do you feel that there are certain aspects of your personality that are the primary driving forces behind your success, or is it a combination of the many sides of Shama?

You ask the neatest questions Aaron. I draw from different aspects of myself as I see fit. As for the primary driving force, I think that comes from the part of me that wants to serve others and help them realize their potential. I absolutely love what I do Aaron. I see my work as my ministry – not in the religion sense, but in the sense that being a success coach is truly my calling and I serve my clients the best I can. For example, I make it a personal rule to always give them double what they pay for. If they pay 500 dollars, I make sure to give them a 1000 dollars worth of coaching. It is extremely fulfilling.

You use concepts from the Law of Attraction in your coaching practices, which I think is great. However, there are a lot of "naysayers" out there who think that it's all a bunch of nonsense. You and I both know that you get what you focus on, so we won't participate in negative debates on the issue. However, can you give us a brief statement about the LOA that you would say to people who are non-believers?

The Law of Attraction states that we get what we vibrate (thoughts= vibrations), Aaron. What we focus on expands – whether that is good or bad. The better we feel, and the more we allow things to flow – the better it gets. Life is naturally blissful. We weren’t meant to struggle through it. I think most of the naysayers don’t realize how the Law of Attraction really works. It isn’t magic or wishful thinking – it’s a way of life.

You write valuable and insightful posts over at ShamaHyder.com, and your writing is no doubt inspired by your experiences in life, as well as with your coaching clients. When you write, who is it that you are writing for? Clients, the blogosphere in general, yourself? What drives your "pen to paper," as it were?

Thank you Aaron. The blog is my way of paying it forward so to speak. I share my knowledge and insight, and don’t plan on charging for any of it. I write each post as if it was a lone standing article. I am writing for an audience who believes in personal growth, and is hungry for more.

What is next for Shama Hyder? Will you still be the "miracle working" success coach in 5 years, or do you have other plans that people should know about?

What a fun question, Aaron! Yes, I intend to continue coaching and expand my serv
ices. I will continue to do workshops and seminars around the country. My first book is going to be published in a few months. It is called the “The Secret to College Acceptance – A guide to attracting your ultimate education.” It is about how to leverage the power of the law of attraction to attract the best education for oneself. I am co-authoring it with Larry Hochman, a guidance counselor and fellow coach, from Connecticut. This book was inspired by my past work experience as a private teacher for students with learning disabilities. It is going to be the first book of its kind to blend metaphysics and education in such a positive and empowering manner. It is truly an innovative piece of work that we are really proud of.

The best way to keep up with all the wonderful upcoming events and such is to subscribe to my free bi-monthly “Absolutely Divine” e-zine. I use it to convey lots of wonderful tips and strategies to reach for success. The content is valued at over $197.00. I urge anyone interested to sign up at www.divinereachcoaching.com.

Thank you so much Aaron for asking such terrific questions!

-Shama

There you have it folks – the inside scoop from a walking, talking, success story!

I highly recommend that you frequent Shama's blog, and be sure to sign up for her Absolutely Divine e-zine!

I'm not sure what the future will hold for Shama and I – and ultimately for YOU – but I am sure that you don't want to miss it!

Thanks for tuning in! 

The most obvious thing that people think about is how they are going to accomplish any given task. This is probably the most self-limiting practice that you can consciously partake in.

Yes, it is a good idea to take action whenever you are inspired to do something that will take you towards your goal. However, if you constantly focus on how you are going to get something that you want, then you will easily fall prey to circumstances that take you off track.

Your only job in the process of creating what you want is to focus on what you want. The “how’s” will work themselves out by the simple fact of you staying focused on what it is that you desire.

The second concept is a bit more slippery to grasp, although it is equally as powerful in determining whether or not you are going to get whatever it is that you are after in life.

The concept that I am talking about is whether or not you believe – on the inside, where it counts – that you truly deserve whatever it is that you are wanting to attain.

As Antonio points out over at ThinkBanc¹, what you have in your life right now represents very specifically what you think that you deserve.

The beliefs that each of us have about our lives have been ingrained in us over the years and serve to dictate our lives on a day to day basis.

If those beliefs are positive and empowering, then you are good to go. However, if those beliefs about what we deserve are limiting, they are now coined as “self-limiting beliefs” and that is exactly what they do – they limit us to a certain level of success in life.

For some people, this comes in the form of health and weight loss. They don’t truly believe that they deserve to be healthy and beautiful like other people, so they subconsciously manifest that result over and over again into their lives.

For even more people, this same concept manifests itself with regard to their financial status. If you truly believed that you were deserving of riches, and that you could handle the “wealthy” lifestyle, then you would be in the process of manifesting that lifestyle every day.

Although most people will say indignantly, “I deserve money!”, the truth is that there is a self-limiting belief underneath the surface that is feeding them just enough of the opposite thoughts to keep them from ever amassing any significant wealth.

However here is the thing that you should take away from reading this post that can literally cause you to start manifesting money – or anything else – right at this moment:

If you have a strong enough desire as well as a belief that you deserve wealth, health, or anything else, you will set the universal forces in motion that will bring those things to you – just because you want them and believe that you deserve them.

As Robert points out over at the My Self Development² blog, the Universe does not have any feeling either way about what you are trying to bring into your life.

In fact, the Universe doesn’t have any feeling about anything. It simply responds to the energy that you put out there.

If that energy says “I want this and I deserve it,” then you will get it. However, if that energy says “I want this, and I think I deserve it, but deep down inside I’m not sure,” then all the Universe will deliver is more reasons for you to be unsure about your level of deserving.

The universal powers that are literally at your “beck and call” are just as certain as those that cause the sun to set each night, and then rise each morning.

Whether you live on a polar icecap where day-time and night-time can seem endless, or if you are in an area that gets a light and a dark cycle every 24 hours, one thing is certain:

The sun will always come back up and the night will always fall.

The fate of your life is just as certain, and just as predictable based on what you believe.

If you want success, then believe in success. If you are not experiencing success in some area of your life right now, then on some level, you either don’t really want it, or you don’t really believe that you can have it.

Either way, YOU are in control of what happens next.

Footnotes:

1 – ThinkBanc

2 – My Self Development

Sounds great, right? We can have whatever we want just by thinking about it! Well, if you know what you are doing, that is 100% true. However, most people are doing something much more common, and I call it “creative destruction”.

You may or may not be aware of the simple concepts behind the Law of Attraction, but they basically state that whatever we focus on is what we will bring into our lives. That is absolutely true, and most people would swear that they spend plenty of time focusing on the things that they want.

Unfortunately, those same people spend even more time waiting for those things to show up, and then wondering why it never happens. The reason it doesn’t happen is because those people are practicing creative destruction.

Even though they may have a clear vision of what they want, the majority of people’s thoughts are usually fixed on the fact that they don’t have the object of their desire. In other words, they are trying to manifest their desires, but they are doing so from a position of “lack”.

Bryant Sandburg coined it perfectly in his blog when he said:”So if you think about the things you lack, that is what you will attract. You will lock yourself in lack.” That phrase “lock yourself in lack” is so appropriate, because it describes perfectly something that you have probably been doing for years.

There is no shortage of desire for us to have the many things that we want in this world. However, – consciously or subconsciously – we spend far more time thinking about what we don’t have. Once again deferring to the all powerful Law of Attraction; if that is what you think about, then that is exactly what you will get!

That’s creative destruction. You are creating the very circumstances that you don’t want to be in! This smacks of the phrase that some of the readers from my generation will be familiar with: “Go get the belt”!

Just as when we were kids and we did something wrong that warranted some tough love from our parents, now that we are adults and parents ourselves, we are still doing it. We are creating negative circumstances for our lives, and then getting upset when those circumstances dutifully show up over and over again.

By now the question that is probably on your mind is, “What can I do about it”?

I’ll give you an answer to that, although I will ask that you PLEASE listen to these words, and put them or some reminder of them in a place where you will see them every day.

I make that request because the habits that we are talking about breaking here have very likely been ingrained in us after years and years of use, and changing our thought patterns is not going to be as easy as simply reading this blog post.

Some may say that by even making that type of statement that I am practicing negativity. To the contrary. I’m practicing realism! I very much believe in your ability to make positive changes in your life based on this advice, but I would be remiss in my duties as the “teacher” if I fed you some fairy tale about Amazing Changes in your Life with only 2 Minutes of Work per Day!

The truth is that you are an all-powerful being and that you can literally have, do, or be anything that you want. However, you are going to have to work at it, which will make the attainment of your goals that much better.

The key to creative manifestation (as opposed to destruction) is that you follow the Creative Process, as outlined in the movie The Secret:

1) Ask for what you want – This does not mean standing in your front yard, hands outstretched, head towards the heavens, and saying, “Please deliver a brand new car to my driveway”.

Those words – or any other words that you use – mean nothing to the Universe. To think that the all-powerful and timeless power of all that has ever been or ever will be is going to understand your language is arrogance at it’s finest.

No, the Universe only responds to vibrations. We create vibrations with our feelings, not with our words. Now, that being said, if by saying something out loud or in your head makes you generate the feelings of actually having what you are asking for, then go for it. Sing it to the heavens, Brothers and Sisters!

2) Answer – This is the job of the Universe – NOT you! The Universe will always answer, every time, without fail. However, the Creative Process is a 3-step process, and Step 3 is the one where you need to step up to the plate if you truly want whatever it is that you are asking for.

3) Receive – This is where you start to truly see the difference between creative manifestation and creative destruction. Ordinarily, we are used to looking at things from a position of lack, which means that we are generating the vibrations of NOT having what we just got done asking for.

I remember the day we got to throw a live grenade during U.S. Army bootcamp. Everyone was so excited! We had been trained and now we got to launch one of those pineapples down range and see just what it could do!

Then, you step into the cement shelter with the Drill Sergeant, you start to get nervous, and you see that he has a live grenade in his hand that he is about to give you so you can pull the pin and toss it over the wall!

On one hand, you are thinking, “Oh, this is so exciting, and I can’t wait”! On the other hand, your heart is beating a mile a minute, you see flashes of you and the instructor splattered all over the inside of the shelter if you happen to drop it, and suddenly you’re not quite sure if you really want it after all.

That is exactly what happens when most people ask the Universe for something. They really want what they are asking for, they can’t wait to have it, but deep down inside – deep down where it really counts and where the Universe is listening – they don’t truly believe they should have the thing they are asking for, or they don’t truly believe that it’s possible that they can have it.

Well, I’m happy to say that in Basic Training I managed to toss the grenade OVER the wall, and I’m still here to tell that story.

The question that you need to ask yourself is whether or not you are going to have guts to have FAITH in the Universe, to BELIEVE that you deserve what you are asking for, and to FEEL grateful and happy as if you already had whatever it is you are asking the Universe for.

If you can remember that 3-step Creative Process, and remember to Believe, have Faith, and to Feel grateful and happy about what you are asking for, the Universe will deliver.

Don’t let yourself get “locked in lack”. Haven’t you spent enough time there already?