I’m happy to be happy FOR you, and I empathize with your situation at the same time. Sometimes getting started down a new path is like a rocket taking off from the earth. It’s amazingly difficult at first, but once you’re in orbit, it’s smooth sailing!

As far as avoiding people who don’t have the same understanding as you, I’m with you on that. I rarely inform my friends and family of major events in my life until after the “hoopla” has died down.

People asking “What are you going to do?”, “How do you feel?”, “How does this affect your plans for {whatever}?” – they all mean well. However, someone’s path is their path alone, and sometimes it is best to avoid the spotlight until the show is over.

As big of a fan as I am of radical, “in your face” type of lifestyle changes, I will certainly concede that whether someone opts for the radical route, or the sustained route, consistency is key for both of those individuals.

Big props to you for continuing to emphasize the importance of that!

That’s exactly it – when people say they’re sorry, I just say there’s nothing to be sorry about. It’s the right choice, the right path. Separating is not a bad thing – which doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt and there’s no heart ache…

Just an understanding and acceptance of what is.

So THANK YOU for being happy! That’s what I want to hear.

I’ve actually avoided well-meaning friends over this period because their perception of my experience is so different from what I’m actually going through…

I have both advised people on, as well as lived the act of giving up or changing past relationships because the people involved were heading in different directions.

My first (ancient) instinct when I read your comment was to say “I’m sorry about your marriage”. However, if someone is successfully walking their path, that is nothing to be sorry about, even if it meant making some hard choices in order to get to that point.

My thoughts are with you as well as anyone else who is dealing with the “hard” part of moving forward in life, but I also know that the road will lead where you truly want it to lead. And for that, I am happy.

p.s. – As far as challenges, I think you just hurdled one!!

As difficult a decision as it was, I have had to give up my marriage to live my growth.

I could feel the stagnant energy, and the space between us because I was on a path and my husband wasn’t.

It’s the hardest thing in a relationship – when one of you is growing and the other isn’t.

But our paths had diverged so much, we weren’t even walking up the same mountain anymore.

I was ready to continue changing, he didn’t want to…

(Incidentally, this means the 10,000 fists challenge I put myself down for doesn’t apply any longer…)

Much joy,
KL

Thanks for stopping by, and I appreciate the positive feedback. I love what you said about knowing that other people are struggling with and overcoming some of the same issues that we are dealing with – so true! Some of the best blog posts are the ones that detail how someone came upon a roadblock, and then used the power of what they have learned in the blogosphere or in other areas of their lives to overcome it.

Great stuff!!

Great post! I particularly enjoyed your comment in response to a reader, ie. that one of the great things about the blogosphere is that by reading what other people write, it helps keep us on track in our own lives. So true! It also helps us feel and stay connected, a big part of following any path…although we must each walk our paths alone, it is heartening to think others are struggling with and overcoming the same challenges, and enjoying similar personal rewards!

Have a great day,

Shauna

You are right, and thanks for sharing that unique view on this concept. Letting things go is NOT giving up, but I’m sure that some people would think that, especially if the habit or trait that they need to drop has been with them for a long time.

It’s not giving up, though – it’s letting go. Thank you for pointing out that distinction, Nneka!

Letting go is a risky endeavor though, and in our society it is often viewed as giving up. Giving away things or downgrading is not the socially acceptable way, but it is a very satisfying way.

In Spirit,
Nneka

You are a man of much wisdom – thanks for sharing your thoughts!

Yes, society in general does have a belief that change can come about without letting go of certain things, and I think that is one of the reasons why the search for answers is still so hot and heavy. People think that a book or a program is the answer, and although the book or program might point them in the right direction, the changes need to be internal.

As far as the comparison between significant changes versus incremental changes over the long-term, I do agree that incremental changes consistently applied would be a recipe for success.

I guess my years as a personal trainer sometimes come through in my writing because everyone always wanted it right now, and a lack of immediate results tended to cause people to fall off the wagon before a healthy lifestyle became a habit.

I still believe that “faster is better” when it comes to seeing results in your life, although I will 100% agree that consistent incremental changes will also get you there, just maybe not as quickly, depending on the circumstances.

Again, thanks for sharing your thoughts, Edward!

And while I absolutely agree with you that the work needs to be consistent I’m not convinced that it needs to be significant in the sense of large or life changing. I’m of the believe that consistent small, incremental changes are far more effective than short-term large changes that don’t stick.

One of the reasons why I think the blogosphere is such a success is because everyone needs reminders from time to time about the practices that are in their best interest. I frequently re-read my notes and my own blog posts in order to stay on track, and I read other people’s blogs on a daily basis for the same reason.

One thing that you already have going for you, Stephen, is that you KNOW that the weight loss is possible. You’ve done it before, so you know for a fact that you can do it again. I have no doubt that I’ll be hearing from you soon with a report that you are slimming back down again!

Thanks for sharing your personal story about the need for consistency, Stephen!

I’m with you all the way! It is indeed the subconscious beliefs that tend to undermine our success, and reprogramming those beliefs is an integral part of any personal development program.

Although there are a bunch of methods for doing so, my personal favorite is to just pick up a good habit by repeatedly doing it. When a person has spent 30 straight days doing what needs to be done, their subconscious starts to believe that this new behavior must be the new “norm”.

As powerful as the subconscious mind is, it can also easily be controlled IF a consistent effort is made to do so.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, James!

You nailed it right on the nose with this one. My heart was pounding and my stomach was churning becuase I saw the truth behind your article – I started on a weight reduction program back in November and after consistent, hard, focused work, I lost 20 lbs.

Then I let it all go and now I’ve re-gained weight again. I haven’t been consistent with eating properly like I did for six months. Now I know I have to start over again.

You really hit it perfectly. Thanks.

Stephen Hopson

What you have described, I call it misalignment of a persons conscious and unconscious mind. On one hand, a person is working hard towards his goal but on the other hand, he is sub-consciously sabotaging himself.

Sub-conscious thinking tends to surface as actions we take or do. In your example, the “habit of eating unhealthy foods in large quantities” is sub-conscious thinking “I need the food” Or “I cannot be that slim” and it translates to action, hence the eating habit.

I proposed and advocate breaking the chain by abandoning old beliefs and allowing oneself to believe in your dream/goal.