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Lifestyle Changes don’t use Turn Signals

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Wouldn't it be nice if when it came time to make changes in our lives, we could just look up ahead and see a bright, blinking arrow that would point us in the right direction to go? Well, life doesn't work that way, so it falls to us to recognize the signs, and to then take appropriate action.

The problems start when we fail to recognize the signs that are put before us; the very clues that tell us that we are capable of more than we are presently experiencing. We tend to see these "signs" as problems, and we push against them instead of recognizing them as the glorious gifts of insight that they truly are.

Look for growth opportunities rather than basking in your problems.
Photo Credit: FishmonkNo matter what problems you are facing, there is an opportunity for you to grow as a person, and to create a life where those same problems either don't exist at all, or they are no longer relevant to you. However, if you see those signs as problems that have to be solved – rather than personal growth opportunities – your entire life will boil down to nothing more monumental than simply reacting to your surroundings.

As this picture indicates, it's not just which direction that you look, it's what you see when you look there. Are you looking with jaded eyes that see everything in the worst possible light because of what you have been through in the past, or do you see a learning or growth opportunity in even the most extremely negative circumstances?

Make no mistake – life is not just an exercise in academia, or a chance for hearty philosophical debates about how things SHOULD be. Your life is hurtling before your very eyes right now, and the way that you look at your life is far more important than what you actually see.

  • If you don't like your job, or don't feel like you are making enough money, that is a not a problem, it's a personal growth opportunity.

What do you need to learn, or what action do you need to take in order to improve your career status? If you are not happy with your career, yet you stay in your position anyway, what does that say about you, and what can you learn from that, and then take action on?

  • If you are having issues with another person – a friend, family member, co-worker, significant other – that is not a problem, it's a personal growth opportunity.

What can you learn about yourself or that person that will make the issue go away? What steps can you take that will remove this person from your life, or remove their ability to affect your life? If you don't enjoy another person, yet you continue to allow that negativity into your life, what does that say about you, and what can you learn from that, and then take action on?

  • If you are overweight and can't ever seem to stick to a nutrition or exercise program, that is not a problem, it's a personal growth opportunity.

What is the true reason why you aren't sticking to a healthy lifestyle? What skills, habits, or resources do you need to acquire in order to stay on track? If you don't like being overweight, yet you continue to allow yourself to be that way, what does that say about you, and what can you learn from that, and then take action on?

There are endless examples of this same concept, and you can probably think of a few that apply to your life at this very moment. The formula is very, very simple:

Something you don't enjoy in life = An opportunity for you to grow out of it

The way that you look at your life is far more important than what you actually seeAs long as you continue to see yourself as the victim of the circumstances in your life, you will continue to BE the victim. Being a victim is not so much as feeling the effects from any given set of circumstances as it is allowing yourself to BE victimized by those circumstances.

So, are you going to read this, become empowered, and then go right back over into the victim's corner, or are you going to come running out of there, fists up, ready for action?

The choice, as always – is yours. I hope to see you out in the ring! 

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Dan and Jennifer are the Founders and Senior Editors of Ask Dan & Jennifer, which has been called "the best and most popular Love and Sex advice column on the Internet today". Their videos are some of the most popular videos on YouTube. You should Fan Dan & Jennifer on Facebook and Follow them on Twitter!
Posted On May 5, 2008 · Filed Under Goals · Tagged With , ,

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  • John,

    Thanks for the positive feedback and the reinforcement of the concepts that this article discusses.

    Not only does it help from an energetic standpoint to see the lesson in any given situation, but it helps keep you out of "victim mode" as well.

    If someone feels bad about something, there aren't any real positive results that will come of that. However, when you see the lesson that was learned, you go from being a victim to becoming empowered, and that is definitely a better place to be. :)
  • What a great article. Throughout ones life there are always times when we are presented with a fork in the road and you are never quite suer which way to go. Sometimes it may appear that we have taken the wrong path, but, as your article states so well it is all a matter of perception. When you look deeply at a situation that you are faced with then you will always find a learning from it and a positive outlook. You must just make that effort and when you do the Law of Attraction will look after you.
  • Steve - You are absolutely right. Consciousness trumps habitual living every time! :)

    Etavitom - Thanks! I always do my best to put out information that people can actually apply to their lives on a regular basis!
  • You hit it right on here! Thanks for the smart advice, once again....
  • Aaron,

    Exactly, all we have to do is take the first step and ask. That's when you truly start living consciously instead of habitually.
  • Steve,

    That's a great point about things staying the same because we react on impulse. It is hard - at first - to get your head around the fact that impulsively reacting (vs. responding) will simply serve to recreate those same circumstances over and over again.

    By seeing each experience as an opportunity to grow, you have to give it some thought and actually ask yourself: What am I supposed to learn from this? or How can I improve in a way that this situation is no longer an issue for me?

    Ironically enough, by actually asking our subconscious those types of questions, the answers normally come about in pretty short order, so ask away! :)
  • Great perspective Aaron. Unfortunately some people fail to recognize that opportunities are really everywhere. It all boils down to one's perception, which in most cases stays the same because as humans, we react to events and circumstances on impulse.

    It's really a paradox. WHAT you see may not always be 100% in your control, but HOW you see it ALWAYS is.
  • Evelyn,

    You are absolutely right about the lessons - they are what really matter. No person is going to go through life with rose petals thrown at their feet, people hand-feeding them tropical fruits, and someone waving a palm-frond fan in their face every day.

    Life has challenges! Seeing those challenges for the growth opportunities that they are is the habit that needs to be picked up, and that habit needs to be come a lifestyle.

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Evelyn! :)
  • Thanks, Lexi!

    It's one of those things that feels like it has been talked about SO many times, yet people continue to allow themselves to feel that way - and on a regular, consistent basis no less.

    The victim mentality is just that - a mentality. It's a state of mind, not a state of circumstances.
  • I definitely like the message here on this article:"the way you look at life is more important than what you see". Our problem often lies in the fact that we get so caught up in what we see that we fail to see the lessons behind.

    Thanks for sharing,
    Evelyn
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