None of this is Permanent. Or, How to Stop WAFFLING.
Ah, waffling. Isn't it a wonderful word? I have no idea how the term came into existence, but it certainly does a great job of describing that specific state of mind.
You know, the one where you have 2 or more things that you want to do, but you keep going back and forth between deciding which course of action to pursue? In fact, professional "wafflers" won't just go back and forth, but they will actually start down one path, only to backpedal and decide to a take a few steps down a different path as well.
If you are truly proficient at waffling, you will continue this tragic two-step dance with your life, and in the process, you will accomplish a great many of the things on this list:
- You will waste an inordinate amount of time
- You will get a large amount of absolutely nothing done
- You will be emotionally distraught over your lack of ability to make a decision
- You will attain or take part in nothing, since you never actually commit
- You will annoy, confuse, and quite possibly alienate your friends and family members
- You will ultimately lose confidence in yourself, as everyone knows instinctively that successful people make decisions and stick to them
Now, unless you are a glutton for punishment, or you actually enjoy that type of chaos in your life, waffling doesn't conjure up thoughts of a lifestyle that most people would want to lead. For that matter, most people do not even want to be around wafflers.
So how do you stop waffling?
How do you decide on a course of action and then just make it happen?
How do you stop the chaos in your life and start marching confidently toward any given destination?
By realizing that none of this is permanent.
Whenever we waffle back and forth between two or more courses of action, it is simply because we are afraid that one of them will ultimately not make us happy. That might be on a short-term basis (Do I go to the beach today, or do I stay home and relax?), or it might be on a long-term basis (Do I buy that house on the beach, or do I save money and buy something further inland?).
Whether you are a short-term or a long-term waffler, by understanding that none of the decisions that you make are going to create permanent circumstances in your life, you release yourself from the need to always make the "right" decision. For example:
- If you can't decide whether to work for "ABC Company" or "XYZ Company," what's the worst that could happen? If you've got the skills/experience to work for either of those companies, then you can always change your mind later. There will always be another "golden opportunity," since these are things that we create for ourselves anyway.
- If you can't decide whether to break up with your boyfriend/girlfriend, just make a decision. If you 2 are really meant to be together, then all will work out in the end. And, if "the end" turns out to be you feeling like an idiot for blowing your chance at a long-term relationship with that person, then you are certainly now more prepared for the next time that type of decision comes before you.
- If you are considering purchasing a house, but the interest rates, property growth potential, etc., have you in a state of confusion about what to do, just make a decision. Go with your gut instinct, do what you truly want to do, and if it turns out that the decision wasn't the best one, then sell the house later. If you live there for a year or two, even if you lose $15,000 – $30,000, in the grand scheme of your life, that's just a drop in the bucket.
- If you can't decide whether or not go party with your friends downtown, or have a nice quiet evening at home, is this decision really that critical? There will always be other nights to party, or there will always be other nights to relax. Just make a decision, and then move on with your night – and your life.
- If you can't decide whether to wear the red dress to work, or the blue dress, again, in the grand scheme of things, who cares? You'll have to wait – what, another 24 hours before you can wear the other color?
In each of these examples, the moral of the story is that by waffling back and forth between either short-term or long-term decisions, all you are doing is creating confusion, uncertainty, and negativity in your life, and quite likely in the lives of others as well.
Just make a decision!
Even if it's the wrong decision, you will always have the chance to try something else later on down the road. Besides, even if you never do get a second chance, wouldn't you rather confidently take charge of your life on a short-term and long-term basis, rather than spending it constantly wondering what the "right" thing to do is?
Stop waffling – start LIVING!
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