This meant that I was probably going to go along crying through my day, feeling miserable and not at all in the mood to smile and be cheerful. I resented that this had to happen right now, when I had a full schedule. I wasn’t really feeling like this was an appropriate time for a meltdown!

Spend Time With Your Tears

But because I fully trust my practice, I know that the best thing for me is not to suppress or conceal whatever needs to be dealt with, but to go ahead and work through it and get things taken care of. I have to deal with whatever I have at the moment and allow myself to feel and heal as necessary. In this case it meant I cried all through my visit to the salon, before my radio show, after my radio show, during my acupuncture appointment, in my car . . . pretty much through the whole day.

Coming Out The Other Side

And at the end of it all, I knew the message of the dreams. It was simple: I needed to have a cry. Nothing more sinister than that. I had some stuff simmering below the surface, some grief and sadness I hadn’t dealt with. Eventually, it boiled up to the surface and demanded my full attention. The difference between the me of now and the me of a decade ago is that these days I know that loving myself means allowing myself to feel okay about crying, okay about expressing any feeling that I need to express. The people who witnessed my crying responded in kind with Kleenex and hugs. Amazing how that happens!

When I checked my e-mail later in the day, I noticed that a friend had sent me this Hopi prayer. Even as soon as I had unburdened myself of my emotional baggage, gifts were already starting to come back to me in an expression of the Divine. I was so moved, I thought I’d share the prayer with you, just in case you have some things in your own heart that you need to deal with and could use a little encouragement. Enjoy!

Hopi Message

“You have been telling the people that this is the Eleventh Hour. Now you must go back and tell the people that this is the Hour. And there are things to be considered: Where are you living? What are you doing? What are your relationships? Are you in right relationship? Where is your water? Know your garden.

It is a time to speak your Truth. Create your community. Be good to each other. And do not look outside yourself for the leader. This could be a good time!

There is a river flowing now very fast. It is so great and swift that there are those who will be afraid. They will try to hold on to the shore. They will feel they are being torn apart, and they will suffer greatly.

Know the river has its destination. The elders say we must let go of the shore, push off into the middle of the river. See who is in there with you, and celebrate.

At this time in history we are to take nothing personally. Least of all ourselves. For the moment that we do, our spiritual growth and journey comes to a halt.

The time of the lone wolf is over. Gather yourselves! Banish the word “struggle” from your attitude and your vocabulary. All that we do now must be done in a sacred manner and in celebration.

We are the ones we’ve been waiting for.

Yesterday morning, however, was different. Gratitude was replaced by anxiety as I counted up my sleep and decided it was enough. I stopped only briefly to ask my husband in passing whether he’d slept well. In retrospect, I was feeding the wrong wolf, but there I went, wandering further in the wrong direction.

I started worrying about time, and specifically lack of it. Check-in for our flight was at 8:00, it was now nearly 6:30, and I stood in my pajamas wondering if the weather was going to be a problem. Heavy rains were just starting, and were scheduled to get even heavier. As I started getting ready, I pictured every kind of weather-related plane disaster imaginable.

Is Anxiety Controlling You?

When we got to the airport, there were no delays, which I thought was a good sign. In the plane, I was glad to find a place to stow my bag, and then the anxiety started creeping back into my thoughts. Get out of the aisle, you’re in the way, the chances of you and David dying together in a plane crash are infinitesimal. The thought comforted me in an odd way. I went further with my theories: I’ve known two people who died on planes, so the chances of it happening to me as well are pretty much non-existent. But there’s always terrorism. Could any of these people be carrying a weapon?

I had to step in and intervene in this line of thought. The way I was going, toward total insanity and paranoia, was neither helpful nor enjoyable. I reminded myself that every time I’ve ever taken a flight, I do this same thing – I look for ways that things could end in death, and guess what? I’m still alive.

I decided to lay down the law with myself. I could either spend the rest of my life avoiding flying and worrying about terrorists, or I could just accept the great Divine that is God, and that I have a purpose on the earth that I am here to fulfill. When that mission is over, it’s over, and no amount of anxiety or stress is going to affect that. Admitting that to myself, hearing that truth in my head, allowed me to relax and enjoy the rest of the journey.

Overcoming Anxiety And Fear

This is a far cry from how I was in earlier years, not even able to venture out of my house, much less get on an airplane. Without medication, it was a certainly a struggle to heal my anxiety disorder, but now, on the plane, I could enjoy the luxury of feeling pleased with how far I’ve come.

I’d like to take a moment to tell another old story. There was a Shaman who, on the night of each full moon, would sit with the village children and recount the story of the white wolf and the dark wolf. These were two wolves who had been adversaries since the dawn of time. The white wolf thrives on truth, kindness, and love. The dark wolf, on the other hand, gains his strength from hatred, fear, and lies. The two wolves would battle again and again, and each time the children heard the story, they would ask which wolf wins in the end. The shaman’s answer was simple: “The wolf that wins is the one you feed!” And so it is.

You don’t need to look any further than the almost universal desire that people have for more money in order to see this concept in action. People jump through all manner of hoops in order to gain financial freedom, but even if they had a mountain of money in front of them, if they didn’t do anything with it, then it would just be a useless pile of paper.

It is not what we GET in life that matters, because life is handing us new opportunities every single day. Rather, it is what we DO with those opportunities that will ensure not only our long-term success, but our day-to-day happiness as well.

The Dream Job

Every person has their own rendition of what their “dream job” is, so what would you do if you actually attained it?

• Would you just show up for work every day, but not do any actual work?
• Would you stop working towards future success and advancements?
• Would you ignore opportunities to demonstrate the skills or experience that you used to get the job to begin with?

A “dream job” without a corresponding effort on your part to show that you are worthy of that job is nothing more than an opportunity for you to end up standing in the soup line.

The Dream Body

Yep, we’ve all pictured it in our heads at one time or another, right? Those firm muscles, tight curves, and sculpted features are things that most people give thought to, and for some people, it is an on-going quest that lasts for decades. What would you do if you got your “dream body,” though?

• Would you start eating junk food like it was going out of style?
• Would you stop exercising effectively and on a very consistent basis?
• Would you pick up every unhealthy habit that you could get your hands on?

A “dream body” is made up of both the mental and the physical work that it takes to get that body to begin with. If you stop doing that work, then your “dream body” will once again become nothing but a far off goal that you can’t quite get your hands on.

The Dream Relationship

Who hasn’t dreamed of their “soul mate” at one time or another, or at least dreamed of the guy or girl that would keep them satisfied on an emotional or physical level? That “dream relationship,” however, is not something that can be won, but then just ignored.

• If you are a certain person in the beginning of a happy relationship, do you honestly think that relationship will stay happy if you start acting like a different person?
• If you have certain goals or dreams that are shared by your significant other, but your goals or dreams change, is it your significant other’s fault when the relationship starts to crumble?
• If you are a family man or woman, but suddenly you decide to recapture your college glory days of keg parties and panty raids, do you honestly think that is going to fly?

A relationship – by definition – is made up of 2 people harmoniously sharing their life experiences. If one person changes drastically from how they were in the beginning of the relationship, the possibility that the other person will change enough to balance things out is minimal at best.

The truth of the matter is that in order for change to occur – on both an individual scale, as well as a global scale – holding on to the way things “used to be” is a recipe for nothing but a modern-day remake of the same mistakes that we have already made in our lives, and on our planet.

If we want true, lasting change to occur, then we must realize that change means change, it does not mean wrapping the old life up in a new package and then presenting it again as if it’s all new. It’s like that ridiculous advertising slogan “New and Improved”. Something can’t be new AND improved – it has to be one or the other!

Nostalgia for Days gone By

One of the biggest reasons why people cling to their old patterns despite an innate need to move forward is nothing more complex than that wonderful emotion of nostalgia.

Our lives, no matter how hectic or chaotic they may be, are filled with “sweet spots” that are permanently ingrained in our memories and on our hearts. We remember “back when,” or “that time when,” or “how it used to be”.

Those memories and the emotions that they invoke are wonderful, and to forget or bury them would be nothing less than criminal. However, living from them is just as much of a crime! Your glory days from the past are just that – in the past. No matter how wonderful those days were, they are gone now, and you need to come to terms with that.

You should cherish your past, and learn from your past, and apply what your past has taught you, but your life will never move forward if you are hooked on “the good ol’ days”. Recognize your past for its positive aspects, utilize the contrast from the negative aspects as a marker for what to avoid in the future, and then let it all go.

Your past – no matter how powerful it may be – is gone. An exponentially more powerful and more glorious future, on the other hand, is nothing but a thought and a commitment away.

A Comfort Zone that needs to be Broken out Of

The other main reason why people tend to color their futures with the hues of their past is simply the fact that they are used to doing things that way.

I’m not talking about the standard self improvement dogma about getting outside of your comfort zone – we’ve all heard that one a thousand times. No, I am talking about the fact that people simply don’t do what it takes to create and maintain new habits that cause their lives to be significantly different than they have been in the past.

Each of us is guilty of it on some level or other, but we don’t realize our guilt because we are so used to doing things that way that it feels natural to us. Just because something feels natural does NOT mean that it should be a part of your life!

When I was a kid, I lived one quarter mile from a very busy set of railroad tracks. Those trains were very loud, and they came through many, many times every day and every night. After a few years, though, I stopped hearing them. They became such a natural background noise that I didn’t even consciously hear them anymore.

Just because I got used to living close to the train tracks does not mean that I would want to live there again!

Our ability to get used to something – even something challenging or difficult – does not automatically mean that we should make that thing a part of our lives. If our habits – no matter how steeped in antiquity they may be – do not take our lives in the direction that we want to go, then those habits need to fall by the wayside.

I have used the term “if nothing changes, then nothing changes” in so many of my writings that I have literally lost count. I don’t keep repeating it because it sounds cool, but rather because it is the truth of our existence.

The more things change, the more they stay the same? I call B.S.!! The more things change, the more they NEED to change.

Anything less is just a carbon copy that is getting more and more faded the more times you copy it.

Now, I would never recommend that someone just “give up” – far from it. However, there is something to be said for reevaluating any given situation and deciding that starting from scratch – now armed with new knowledge and experience – is simply a more effective or enjoyable use of your time.

In my recent move to the beach, there were many “must haves” that were part of the process, and by checking out the following examples, you can get an idea of how to make a fresh start in your own life, if and when the time comes to do so.

1) Decide what you want AND what you don’t want

Knowing what you want is only half the battle, because it is very easy to miss critical details if you don’t also consider what you don’t want your new life to include.

The primary goal when I moved was to get close to the beach – close being defined as walking distance. The initial search for a place was very fruitful, and there were more places to look at than there was time to do so. By the end of a full day spent looking at properties on Florida’s Space Coast, it seemed that the biggest hurdle was going to be deciding which one was the best!

However, as the details were discussed and properties started being weeded out for various reasons, it became very clear that the north/south location of the house was a bigger factor than originally realized. By putting both a northern and a southern “line in the sand” on the map, the search for a house instantly became much more productive because the desired area had now been so clearly defined. The initial search spanned almost 20 miles of coastline, while the updated search encompassed only about 6 miles.

The perfect beach side home was not found until the realization was made that there were northern and southern boundaries that I did NOT want to cross. That focus fueled the remainder of the search, and it was less than a week after making that realization that a lease was signed on the new home.

2) Define just what it is that you’ll be doing with your new life

It’s easy to say things like “I want a great relationship,” or “I want more money, “ or “I want to lose weight”. However, those types of vague assertions about what you want will only focus vague energies on the process of actually attaining them.

In my case, part of the plan when moving to the beach was to start a new fitness related business based in a coastal community. After spending 3 years as a personal trainer – and then voluntarily walking away from that life – I had to ask myself how this was going to be any different than the last time. What type of business was I going to build that would have all of the joys and benefits of the fitness lifestyle, but without the drawbacks that caused me to back away from that path before?

The answer – I am ecstatically proud to reveal – came in the form of Surfside Fitness and the absolutely magical work of my graphic and web designer, Jason LaRose. I defined the business model and Jason brought it all to life with incredible skill, professionalism, and vision. I don’t know what I was more excited about – the detailed business model that I came up with, or how well Jason brought it all to full-color life.

Click my beautiful Surfside Fitness logo to check out the splash page of the site, and while you’re clicking, be sure to visit Jason’s site and hire him to bring his magic into your world as well.

3) Realize the contrast between your new life and the old life

The age-old definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, yet expecting a different result. If you don’t do things differently than you did before, then you haven’t recreated anything – you’ve just copied and pasted.

How are YOU going to be different in your new life? It’s not just about picturing yourself with all of the joys and trappings of the new life that you want to create, because that is just putting the same habits and lifestyle choices that you have now into a world that looks a bit different. If YOU aren’t different, then your new life will not be any different than the old life.

In my situation, it was a matter of getting back into the “public eye”. I have done the majority of the writing that I have done at Today is that Day for almost 2 years while living a comparably secluded lifestyle. I have worked from home or at local coffee shops for the majority of the time, and a business like Surfside Fitness cannot be run from a coffee shop!

My contrast will be going from a life of almost seclusion to a life of being out in public almost every day. The last time I lived that lifestyle I was well on my way to attaining a 6-figure income…

4) Check your old habits at the door

A conscious decision like the one discussed above to be a different person is all well and good, but what about those nasty habits that will be leftover from your previous lifestyle? Any habits that take you away from the dream life that you are building need to be kicked to the curb.

In my case, it is electronic communication. I’ll admit it now in front of all the world that I am an Internet junkie! I send an email when I should call someone. I go to Google when I could just pick up the yellow pages or call information. I send text messages or leave comments instead of just having real-time communication.

Yep, I’m hooked! However, now that I am the figurehead and the primary trainer for a brand-new, ultra-cool fitness company, I’ll need to give my keyboard something of a break. The Internet and my blogs will always be a part of both my business and my personal life, but as the owner of a “real world” company, I need to kick the electronic habit and start communicating with people more often in real world ways.

5) Make a serious commitment to yourself

In today’s day and age, starting a “business” can be as quick and easy as putting together a website, and that level of ease also brings with it the danger of not taking things as seriously as we sometimes should.

Life is meant to be enjoyed and – as a general rule – should not be taken too seriously. However, at the same time, if long-term success or happiness is the goal, then something more than just a token effort will probably need to be applied.

My example of this is with regard to my own level of health and fitness. If I am going to teach and lead others to fitness success, then I have to be in great shape myself. As regular readers know, I started the P90X home fitness program 3 months ago, and stuck with it through the duration – right up until the last week and half that is!

The P90X program is a 90-day system, which ends up being a total of 13 weeks of training. Mid-way through week 12, I simply ran out of time. Between packing, moving, painting my old house, unpacking at the new house, and fixing some things that needed to be fixed there, I simply ran out of daylight every day. I was up at 6:00am, out the door by around 7:00am, and not home again until late that night, and then I repeated that sequence every day. There was simply no time available to exercise for an hour each day, so I had a tough decision to make.

Do I “give up” on P90X and just say that I ALMOST finished the program? Do I “pad” the truth and say that I finished it, even though I only made it through 11 1/2 weeks?

Well, I am not the type to lie or to even stretch the truth, nor am I the type to “almost” finish something. So, I did the next best thing:

I committed to start all over again!

Yup, I’m insane like that. Well, at least that’s how it seems, but the truth of the matter is that I am not crazy, I am just committed to my career and to leading by example. That type of commitment takes serious will power, but it also leads to serious success.

The key thing to remember here is that a new life requires CHANGE. You can’t hold onto a previous life if you want to build a new life. I’ve said it many times before, and I’ll probable say it many times more:

If nothing changes, then nothing changes!

You don’t have to try very hard these days to hear people complaining about the economy, about gas prices, about the housing market, about terrorism, about health care, about schools and teenage angst, blah, blah, blah. There is a never-ending stream of things to complain about, and as long as people continue to complain, those issues will continue to exist.

Imagine what would happen, though, if one by one, people started seeing things in a more positive light, and started to see, talk about, and focus on the positive aspects of the state of the world. There is a positive spin that can be put on anything – IF, and ONLY if – you look at the situation from the right point of view. Naysayers will claim that there is nothing positive about negative circumstances, and as long as they continue to look with eyes like that, they will always find a way to prove themselves right. For everyone else, however, turn your attention to the GOOD that comes out of even the worst circumstances, and you may start to realize that all is not lost – despite what the doomsday people would have us believe.

Global Warming – Global warming is indeed a potentially huge negative circumstance. However, if the phenomenon would never have surfaced, we would have continued to blindly go on polluting the environment and the earth, and no one would have known anything about it until it was too late.

I see global warming as a welcome wake up call that we need to get off our butts and start taking care of the Earth. I also see global warming as a welcome wake up call to people (myself included) who previously didn’t spend enough time appreciating the value and the beauty of nature. When you are in danger of losing something, you suddenly realize how valuable it is.

Terrorism – Did you realize that in the U.S., until the 9/11 incidents with the twin towers in NYC, that terrorism had been relegated to being “yesterday’s news,” and that – with full respect to any previous victims of terrorism – it had all but fallen out of view of anyone but the security agencies charged with protecting the U.S. borders? Terrorism has become such an issue today because people keep focusing on how BAD it is.

Do you know what I see when I think of terrorism? I see a much-needed reminder about how wonderful it is to live in the countries whose governments protect us from those types of threats. I see reminders about how each day should be lived to the fullest. I see examples of extreme religious beliefs that remind me of how fortunate I am to live in a country where I can practice any religion (or lack thereof) that I choose to practice. Am I happy about terrorism? No, of course not. However, I AM happy to be safe and alive, and to be reminded that each day is a gift.

High Gas Prices – Hovering near or above $4.00 per gallon of gasoline in the United States, a lot of people would say that this is a real problem, and a lot more people would agree with them. After all, our entire social and career culture is based on people getting back and forth to work and play areas.

Do you know what I see when I look at the price of gas? I see opportunities for us to explore and develop alternative technologies that we should have been exploring and developing a long time ago. I see people getting more exercise by walking or riding bicycles more often. I see people staying in and becoming part of their communities more, rather than thinking that happiness is always just another car ride away. I see people coming together as metropolitan communities via increased use of public transportation, and an increased awareness of what life is like for people who weren’t driving cars before gas prices sky-rocketed. In short, I see high gas prices as a positive change in the global culture, not the “evil” that many people seem to think it is.

Health Care – It doesn’t take long to find a group of people who are willing to complain about the health care system, the price of medications, and a lack of affordable coverage. Those issues, however, are not in debate. The fact that they exist simply is what it is. How the majority of people LOOK at the health care issues is what will determine the long-term positive or negative state of the health care industry.

When I think of “negative” health care issues, I see an opportunity for people to realize the need to do what they should have been doing all along – taking better care of themselves! From both a mental and a physical standpoint, any given person has a HUGE amount of power over their level of health and fitness. If rising health care costs are what it takes to wake those people up, get them to step away from the table, to take up exercising, and to realize the power that their minds and their attitudes have over their health, then I think that is just glorious.

Schools and Generational Issues – What’s wrong with kids today? They are disrespectful, unmotivated, victim mentality-oriented, overweight, unhealthy, prone to inappropriate sexual acts, and just generally screwed up. We’ll all be lucky if the Earth sees another 20 years with those kids at the helm. And it is no wonder that these kids are so messed up, what with the school budget cuts, and the rampant violence that fills our school system these days.

I wish that my slightly tongue-in-cheek description of the state of today’s youth and educational system was just a joke, but it’s not. However, the problem isn’t with the kids or with the educational system, it is with the parents. I don’t see the teenagers riddled with issues such as those described above, but rather an opportunity for people to WAKE UP and realize that child-rearing starts at home. I see a chance for today’s misguided parents to realize that making babies is about creating a new generation, not about flopping around in the sheets and then figuring out how to pay for and manage the result that comes out 9 months later. I don’t see a problem – I see an opportunity.

You can look at life in the worst possible light, or you can look at life with eyes that see opportunities for advancement and growth.

One of those views leads to a world full of negativity, hatred, and destruction, while the other point of view will create a world that is actually worth living in. Personally, I choose the latter…

The idea was originally hatched by Maria Gajewski of Never the Same River Twice, and then several of the other PDP members came on board to create a ton of value, yet give it all away at no cost whatsoever.

Patricia Schiavone of Attracting the Best wrote a chapter in the book, and also helped Maria pull the whole thing together, Maria herself also contributed a chapter, and additional chapters were contributed by:

• Ellie Walsh of Living the Law of Attraction
• Lexi Sundell of Energies of Creation
• Aaron Potts (that’s me!) of Today is that Day

Considering that today’s world can be full of chaos, uncertainty, and even fear, finding Inner Peace is a goal worth working towards, and the chapters contained in this eBook offer some valuable insight into how to do exactly that.

Grab your free copy by simply clicking right here, or clicking the beautiful inner peace graphic, compliments of Gabriella Fabbri.

The creation of this eBook marks the first collaborative effort by the members of Personal Development Partners, and it represents a mere fraction of what is possible when like-minded people come together for a common cause.

If you would like to become a part of a community where all of the members share the desire to learn, to teach, or to network for both professional and personal growth, then join PDP today and become a part of a group that is going places, rather than just watching the world roll past.

Membership at Personal Development Partners is free, or you can take advantage of a huge amount of additional value by becoming a Premium member, or even taking on one of the valuable, but limited, Thought Leader positions.

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Many thanks to all of the PDP members, and a special thanks to those who were involved in bringing the valuable Secrets to Inner Peace eBook into reality!

Yes, I will be the first (and continual!) person to tell you that if you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep getting what you’ve always gotten. However, that does not mean that you can’t get clues about the things that will make you happy by reviewing what you have done in the past.

When it comes to being “larger than life,” what is it that you or the people who know you well would say about you? What character traits, hobbies, or habits have you maintained for years, probably without even giving it any conscious thought? When you find the things that you are already enormous at, you will have found things that are in alignment with who you are, and those things can then be used as an outline to create who you want to become.

It is very likely that when giving consideration to what type of person you have been for years, you will not need to dig very deeply. If you have to think really hard about what type of personality you have, or about habits that you have maintained over the long-term, you are probably putting too much thought into it.

Don’t think of it in terms of how a habit or a personality trait could make you happy, or about how you could use it to make money. Just stick to the facts, and then you can sort it out later to determine what it all means. I’ll use myself as an example to illustrate the process:

• Healthy – I picked up my first barbell when I was 15 years old, I am 38 years old right now, and I have never gone more than 6 months without being on a consistent exercise program.
• Happy – Although my life has had bumps and bruises just like anyone else’s life, I have always had a happy and out-going disposition. Yes, I can get cranky just like everyone can, but overall I have always been cheerful.
• Ethical – I got my first job within a week of being legally old enough to work, and I was mowing lawns and doing yard work for cash long before that. I have always done quality work, and I have always gone above and beyond the call of duty to earn the money that I’ve been paid.
• Outdoors – I grew up in the middle of nowhere in upstate New York long before everyone had an iPod, a cell phone, and a MySpace page, and playing outdoors was an integral part of my upbringing. To this day, I will literally get stressed out if I stay inside for too long.
• Inspirational – No, I haven’t always had my present technical and grammatical skills, but I have always been the kind of person that people come to for advice, and the kind of person who helps people to believe that everything is going to be OK.
• Disciplined – Whether it was walking 1 1/2 miles each way to see my girlfriend 3 times a week when I was a freshman in high school (again – upstate New York – brrrrr!), freezing or sweating during days and nights in the desert while I was in the Army, doing manual labor for days on end in the Florida heat, or BRINGING IT with P90X, I have always been able to rise to any physical or mental challenge put before me.
• Fun-loving – I have never consistently taken life too seriously. Yes, there have been times when I’ve worn the party hat a bit less often than other times, but for the most part I have always been the kind of person who believed in enjoying the journey, and I have the pictures (and the scars!) to prove it.

Just now when I typed all of that out, it took me only marginally longer to type it than it probably took you to read it. I did not have to give very much thought to those habits and personality traits because they are nothing new to me, and none of them are only in my distant past. All of those examples are things that I have practiced most of my life, and I could call out a recent example of each and every one of them. These aren’t habits or traits that I used to have, or that I would like to have, but rather that I already have, and that I’ve had for years.

Now, if there is something that I am considering – whether short or long-term – I don’t have to look any further than that list to see if it is something that I will enjoy doing. As I said back in the Winds of Change post, I am getting ready to start a new fitness program on the coast of Florida. Does it match my profile?

• Healthy – You can’t run a fitness business if you aren’t in shape yourself – not if you actually want customers!
• Happy – After 3 years as a personal trainer, I can tell you for a fact that a fitness instructor’s upbeat attitude is more important than their skills.
• Ethical – Again, if you want customers, you run an ethical business, and I always have, and always will.
• Outdoors – Doesn’t get much more outdoors than the coast of somewhere beautiful
• Inspirational – I’ll be in charge of inspiring not only a lot of customers to succeed, but a lot of employees and joint venture partners as well.
• Disciplined – I will go from working full-time at home in a temperature controlled environment to working outside in Florida in the summertime. Pretty safe bet that both physical and mental discipline will come into play!
• Fun-loving – I hatched this entire idea because I wanted to do something fun, and – without giving away the details of my business plan – yes, it will be loads of fun!

I will be personally happy because I will be practicing the very same personality traits that I have been using for years, and I have been using them because I enjoy doing so. I will be professionally happy because I will make a good living using those same personality traits, and at the same time I will be enhancing the physical and the financial success of dozens, hundreds, and ultimately thousands of people.

How to find your own Enormity

You already know what it is that you enjoy doing, so just sit down and right it out, just like I did in this blog post. Don’t study it, or analyze it, or try to figure it out. Just write.

When you have a list of 6 to 12 habits or personality traits that have been part of your life over the long-term, then you simply check your present lifestyle and/or your desired future lifestyle against that list.

If your life and your planned future are in alignment with your list, then you are probably lined up for long-term happiness. If your lifestyle and your list are on two different planes of existence, however, now might be a good time to ask yourself why the life you are leading or planning is such a far cry from what you actually enjoy doing…

Albert Einstein is quoted as saying “We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them” and that statement could not be more accurate. If your dream life is different than the life you are presently living, then you are going to have to make some changes, and those changes could be downright radical, and even uncomfortable. However, if I may tip the hat to another great quote (author unknown), “Do today what others won’t so you can do tomorrow what others can’t”.

As you look towards the life that you want to lead, you may very well have to also look at some radical or uncomfortable changes that need to occur in order for you to start living that life. The winds of change – as they continually blow across the sands of time – will sometimes rock your boat or get sand in your eye, and sometimes they will even knock you flat. Nonetheless, the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow is there waiting for all of those who do what it takes to power through and take hold of their dreams.

As is often the case here on the Today is that Day blog, my inspiration for blog posts comes from my very own life, and that is the case here as well. My own life is about to radically change (for the better!), yet at the same time, the tasks involved in creating that change are large and could easily be overwhelming if I didn’t know how to control those kinds of emotions.

So, rather than freak out and turn into a useless mass of blabbering inefficiency, I have instead come up with a great plan of action that – as indicated above – will require some radical changes on my part in order to make it all happen. In order to come up with that plan, I utilized a simple, 4-step challenge solving process:

1. Identify the Primary Goal – There are numerous factors that go into facing up to any challenge, but there is always one primary goal that will then fuel or enable the rest of the tasks. Find that one primary goal, and focus on that one thing, to the exclusion of everything else.
2. Assess what Resources you have Available – Often times money helps to grease the wheels of goal attainment, but you may still have to access other resources as well – possibly in order to get that money. Those resources could include your own skills, your experiences, your circle of influence, or even material possessions that might be part of the solution.
3. Find a way to use those Resources to attain the Primary Goal – Now is the time to think outside of the box. Remember, if nothing changes, then nothing changes. If you’re alive (and you are!), then you have something to offer that will help you to get what you want.
4. Refuse to accept Defeat as an Option – As long as you continue to hold onto some sort of safety net in case things don’t work out, those things WON’T work out, because you will always know in the back of your mind that if you fall (or fail), the net will catch you. DECIDE that you are going to get what you want, and COMMIT to getting it at all costs. Failure is NOT an option!

A Real Life Example:

In my case, the changes in question include moving to the east coast of Florida in order to start a very cool, very unique coastal fitness program. After almost 2 years of working almost exclusively from home, the winds of change now find me:

• Moving all the way to within walking distance of the beach from my present central Florida location
• Starting a company that will ultimately be incorporated, spreading my unique business idea all over the world
• Being available 3 or 4 times per day outside of my home to train clients
• Hiring, training, and managing employees, which is something that I have always managed to avoid in the past

Identify the Primary Goal - This entire business idea is predicated on living by the beach. As much as I love the beach, it’s not about sun-bathing and dolphin-watching, but rather utilizing the coastal community as the catalyst and the life-blood of the business. Moving to the beach is the Primary Goal. Without that, nothing else matters.

Assess my Available Resources - My personal development products, my social networking site, my skills and abilities, my fitness coaching site, and my circle of influence.

Use Resources to attain Primary Goal -

• Personal Development Products – My products have great value and quality, and I know that for a fact, so I don’t need to “convince” anyone to buy them. They all come with a money-back guarantee and email support from me, and they are all very reasonably priced. Using my products as part of solving this challenge is as simple as reminding people that they are worth checking out.
• Social Networking Site – Personal Development Partners is growing every day, and I have even started advertising it on Craigslist. I will continue to offer the lifetime membership option only until the end of June, so now is the time to take advantage of that. I also have just 3 Thought Leader positions left open, and those are the most coveted spots, so grab one now – they go fast. Again, using my site as part of solving this challenge is simply reminding people of the value that is available.
• Skills and Abilities – I have been encouraged by many people to help others with their blogs and/or to write for other people’s blogs. I very much enjoy creating content that people get value from, so I have decided to start offering my blogging and writing services for hire. This is far beyond anything that I have offered in the past, and that radical change is part of my challenge-solving process.
• Fitness Coaching Site – I have been writing at Fitness Destinations for more than 4 years (first as a website, and more recently as a blog), and it is chock full of a ton of really great information. Since I have gotten back into Fitness Coaching, I have been updating that site with product-specific posts at least a few times each week. That site is part of solving this challenge by me encouraging people to check it out, and to pay special attention to whether or not you see value in the P90X Reviews that I have been doing.
• Circle of Influence – In addition to this blog post encouraging people to check out all of the products and services that I offer, I am also going to simply ask for help! Regular readers at Today is that Day say that they love the site and the content, so here is your chance to prove it. If you would
  like to be a part of helping me rise to this huge challenge, you are welcome and encouraged to do any of the following:
  • Make a Donation – No donation is too small (or too large!). Since bloggers get paid for their writing, I am well within my rights to ask people to make a donation if they truly see value in my work.
  • Purchase a Product – As indicated above, my products rock, and they are worth every penny.
  • Join PDP – Personal Development Partners is a great site, and the members are helpful, friendly, and knowledgeable, not to mention the huge list of benefits that all paying members get immediate access to.
  • Hire Me – Check out the details on what I offer, and if I can be of service to you, then great. If not, then please let your own circle of influence know what I have to offer.
  • Purchase a Beachbody Product – Not only will you get me as your Team Beachbody Coach, but you’ll get a high quality product that is much more than worth it’s price.

Defeat is NOT an Option – This entire decision for me was based on my own desires vs. the resources and geography that are available where I live now. It is simply not possible for me to do what I want as long as I live here, and I have explored every conceivable option to determine that fact. If I am going to get what I want (and I am!!), then I do not even have the option of living where I live. It’s the coast or nothing!

Conclusion

If you’ll read carefully through the challenge-solving process, and then see how I applied that process to my own situation, you’ll see one very important fact:

The only thing that actually changed was how I presented or utilized the resources that were there all along!

I didn’t have to get more stuff, attain more skills, get a lucky break, or do anything that has not been in my control the entire time. All I did was identify the goal, take an assessment, apply my inventory of resources towards the issue, and then stubbornly refuse to accept anything less than success.

The end results? Well, at the time of this writing, that remains to be seen. However, if you want to see me lead by example by attaining this goal, then subscribe to my RSS feed to stay up to date. I’ll be moving to my new coastal residence within 60 days – guaranteed!

Somewhere along the line in history, human beings have lost track of the very real, very important, very self-centered fact that each of us is 100% responsible for our lives. Our happiness/sadness, wealth/poverty, vitality/ill health, opportunity/despondency – and any other polar opposites that you can imagine – are the responsible of exactly one person, and that is you.

No matter what your circumstances are in life, there is a way for you to create happiness and success out of those circumstances, because when all is said and done, one of the truths of existence is that each and and every one of us is the center of our own universe. Our thoughts, feelings, and actions create the very axis on which our entire existence spins, and that process is 100% within our control.

Yes, yes – I can hear your “insert excuse here” arguments already:

I was born this way, so I don’t have a choice. – How you were born or raised is completely irrelevant. As Jack Canfield says, “That’s the ‘so what’. The ‘what’ is what now?” You can live in the past, or you can create the future.

This health condition runs in my family. – For one, that doesn’t mean that you can’t take every conceivable step to ensure maximum health despite that condition. For two, that doesn’t mean that you can’t consciously will better health into your life. For three, that health condition is a circumstance of your life, not the definition of your life. Realize the difference and quit whining about it.

Other people are involved in whether or not this can happen. – No, you allow other people to be involved in whether or not something can happen. People only effect our lives to the extent that we allow them to affect our lives. No matter how much you perceive someone else as being a positive or a negative part of your life, their impact on your life is totally in your control. If someone else is making your life miserable, you’ve got no one to thank for it but yourself.

It’s out of my control. – In other words, you aren’t willing to take responsibility for it. Henry Ford used to tell his employees not to bring him problems, but instead to bring him solutions. If something is “out of your control,” all that means is that you haven’t found a way to take control of it. If you are not willing to find that way, then you’re right – it IS out of your control. How does that make you feel?

Whatever other excuses you can come up with, they all boil down to exactly the same thing:

That word “victim” is funny to me, because I think it should actually be elongated in order to more clearly demonstrate what being a “victim” is all about. Perhaps a vote on a better definition?

• Willing Participate
• Drama Lover
• Negativity Junkie
• Responsibility Avoider
• Blind Follower
• Commitment Challenged
• Selectively Ignorant

Oh, the list could go on and on, and no matter how long the list got, every phrase would describe the very same fact:

There are people who believe in and consistently act upon their ability to create wonderful lives for themselves, and there are people who realize how much easier it is to play the victim card, thus avoiding any real responsibility for their own happiness.

On that same note, there are people who will read this, and become empowered, and there are people who will immediately start coming up with reasons excuses about how these concepts don’t apply to their lives because ________________ (insert lame excuse here).

Do yourself a favor and ask yourself which type of person you are. Then do yourself an even bigger favor and give yourself an honest answer to that question.

If you’ve been a blind, drama-loving, commitment-challenged, selectively-ignorant, negatively-charged, willing avoider of responsibility, then just ask yourself one more question:

How’s that been working out for you?

Fanciful thoughts, as much fun as they can be, don’t become much more than that until a burning desire to attain the subject of those thoughts is put into place. Without a sincere desire to attain whatever it is that we are thinking about, our thoughts can be simply knocked out of the way by other thoughts that take their place.

Photo Credit: superdecorLong-term lifestyle changes don’t take effect until we have consistently given thought to any given subject, and also attached powerful, passionate emotions to those thoughts. Think of the chaos that our lives would be made up of if every time we had a dreamy thought, our reality would be instantly whisked away, only to be replaced with the world that we were just thinking about.

Although it is certainly true that we can manifest anything at all into our lives that we desire, it takes more than just a passing thought to unleash our mastery over manifestation. Our desires must first become so ingrained in our thinking and feeling processes that we can’t help but think about them. If you have to remind yourself to think about your dreams, then those aren’t dreams, but rather fanciful wishes.

You can let go of a dream, but a dream never lets go of YOU.

- Joel Osteen

In today’s world of unbounded possibilities, it can be very easy to become confused when trying to determine if something is truly a long-term dream, or just the latest “wish of the moment”. Here are some tips to help you tell the difference.

Dreams don’t need to be Justified

If you truly want something in your life, then you won’t need to quantify your desires by then adding in details about what your dreams are going to do to enhance humanity, or to help save the world.

If you have always dreamed of being a professional golfer (just a random example), then you want to do that because it is what you want to do. It has nothing to do with changing people’s lives, improving humanity, or any other lofty goal. Your dreams are your dreams because you want them. That’s it.

If your dream life ALSO includes curing the ill, advancing evolution, and helping old ladies cross the street – well, that’s just so much the better. However, those perceived positive concepts do not necessarily need to be part of your dreams.

Your dreams are what YOU want, not what the rest of the world wants.

Dreams hunt you down

If someone comes back from a vacation in Tahiti, shows you pictures, and brags about how wonderful it all was, then it would be perfectly natural for you to start thinking about how great it would be to visit Tahiti.

The more that person embellishes the glory of their Tahitian vacation, the more you will want to enjoy that same experience. However, that doesn’t mean that your life’s goal is going to suddenly become doing nothing but planning and financing a trip to Tahiti.

On the other hand, if something happens to you that causes you to instantly fall in LOVE with an idea or a geography, and just like the love between 2 people, you can’t stop thinking about it no matter what you do, that could be a dream in the making. That dream will keep popping up over and over and over again, and you won’t be able to stop thinking about it, even when you TRY to.

I visited the big northern island of Kauai in the Hawaiian islands many years ago – probably close to 10 years ago by now. I was on vacation from a dot-com company during the height of the dot-com era, and I went to Kauai from my home in Seattle, WA.

The difference in lifestyle could have been measured, cut up, and served on a plate with a side salad and a cold beer.

The beautiful climate, the laid-back atmosphere, and the instant connection with Mother Earth was like getting hit with a wake-up bullet right to the head. I was instantly in love, and I couldn’t stop thinking about that lifestyle.

I had never even seen the ocean before that, but to this day I am a beach junkie (hence my screenname), I physically get stressed out if I don’t spend enough time outdoors, and my dream since that vacation and up to the present moment is to live in a house that is on the coast, and that is in a geographically tropical environment.

After that vacation I went from Seattle, WA, to Atlanta, GA, to Jacksonville, FL, to Daytona Beach, FL, and right now I live in Orlando, FL, with plans to very likely move to Cocoa Beach, FL within the next 3-6 months. Ever since that vacation almost 10 years ago, I have been in love with the beach and the tropical environment, and no matter what I do, that dream keeps hunting me down, and I keep getting closer and closer to seeing it realized.

Dreams are Bullet-proof

A true dream is something that you want and that you believe in having no matter what other people say. If all it takes for you to give up your dream is someone telling you that you don’t have what it takes, then that isn’t a dream.

A dream will never allow itself to be bullied, rationalized, or reasoned out of existence. Dreams don’t need petty things like logic and reason in order to survive. A dream is something that you want no matter how impossible it may seem to attain it.

If you find yourself seeking counsel from other people about whether or not your dreams should be pursued, then those aren’t dreams – they’re wishes.

To use the earlier example of a vacation to Tahiti, once you had decided that you really wanted to do that, you would very likely start a data-mining project to find out all that there is to know:

• What is the most time/cost effective way to get there?
• What are the best things to see/do in Tahiti?
• How much money will I need for a vacation like this?
• What do other people say about their vacations to Tahiti?

From a logical and reasonable standpoint, those types of questions make a lot of sense. Who wouldn’t research a vacation before going on it?

Someone whose DREAM it was to go on that vacation, that’s who! If you dream of Tahiti (or living in a house at the beach), then those dreams require no further study. Those dreams simply exist, and no amount of research is going to change the fact that you want them.

Just remember that wishes fall into the “would be nice to have” category, and dreams fall into the “I gotta have that” category.

Pretty simple when you break it down like that, don’t you think?

It’s a classic irony of the human condition that our instincts drive us to expand and to grow, yet at the same time we enjoy comfort, security, and recognizable boundaries. However, those same comfortable boundaries quickly become a self-imposed prison unless we continue to improve ourselves in some way.

Unless you want to live the rest of your days in your safe little box, you’re going to have to learn how to push your own limits, thus opening yourself up to experience the growing pains that herald the victories of your future. Falling flat on your face is the quickest, most effective way to make you appreciate the simplicity of being able to stand up straight, and as unpleasant as the fall may be, you’ll stand up that much taller from that point on because you’ll have the memory of that contrast.

Visualize the end result and ONLY the end result

As most of my readers know, I am going through the 90-day P90X workout program right now, and how can I put this bluntly? It’s hard!

However, I have several goals that depend completely or in part on my success with that program, so whenever I am feeling weak (literally or figuratively!) I visualize the end result, and I focus on it fiercely with all of my will power. What I don’t do is think about how hard an exercise is, or about how much I don’t want to workout, or about how I have work on my computer that I want to do during my exercise time.

One of the workouts is a rather intense yoga routine that includes some very difficult abdominal exercises towards the end after you are wiped out from more than 70 minutes of yoga poses. The “no pain” route to take would be to drop to the floor, rest, and just give up. The “pain” route involves me visualizing the six-pack that I am building, and focusing only on that vision, to the exclusion of everything else – including the pain itself.

The “no pain” route is easy in the moment, and gives a fleeting, instant reward – the opportunity to rest. The “pain” route involves significant discomfort, and no immediate noticeable results, but the long-term rewards make the pain very much worth working through.

Think of it as growth, not as pain

Sure, whenever your heart is broken, your bank account is vacant, or you’re gasping for air while exercising, it’s kind of hard not to realize that pain. However, the trick to personal growth is not in avoiding growth opportunities, but rather in learning from them.

• If you don’t know the pain of a broken heart, then you also don’t know how to appreciate a loving and happy relationship.
• If you don’t know what it’s like to wonder if you’ll have enough money to pay your bills, then you don’t understand the value of the money and the resources that you have.
• If you don’t know what it feels like to be unhealthy, fat, or injured, then you don’t know how wonderful it feels to be the opposite of those things.

Rather than viewing your painful experiences as nothing but painful experiences, instead, be grateful for the contrast they show you that will then allow you to appreciate success in those areas that much more once you have attained it.

Once you have learned everything that you need to learn from being broken-hearted, poverty-stricken, or out of shape, then apply what you have learned so you can avoid that pain in the future.

Also, no matter how bad your pain is, it is there nonetheless. If you are going to be experiencing it anyway, wouldn’t it be better to get something good out of the deal?

Don’t forget to accept responsibility

The absolute shortest route that you can take towards reliving pain in your life that you didn’t like the first time around is to blame it all on someone else.

• My ex-husband/wife is a jerk
• My boss doesn’t care about my needs
• My kids won’t give me space
• My brother/sister/mother/father treats me bad
• My friends are holding me back
• My genetics keep me from succeeding
• My lifestyle forces me to live my life this way
• My schedule keeps me from exercising and eating right

Crap, crap, and more crap. YOU are the only person who is now – or ever has been – responsible for the pain that you experience in life. Here is a short and simple way to remember this:

If it happened to you, then you were a part of it.

You may not have directly asked for something negative to come your way, or to be injured, or to get fired, or to have a relationship end badly, but if you were there at all (and you were!), then you share in the responsibility of the negative circumstances that are now causing you pain.

If you keep blaming other people or the outside world for your pain, then you will simply be handing over the reigns of your life to other people or to the outside world. You will continue to experience pain that is allegedly because of other people until you learn to take responsibility for the decisions that you make.

Remember, the goal here is personal growth. What exactly have you learned if it’s always someone else’s fault?

Before you seriously consider these concepts, however, put your Excuse Hat in the closet and lock the door, because your excuses are what have powered your ability to get to where you presently are in life. If you want things to change, then your excuses need to go away!

All of us living the 3-dimensional existence here on planet Earth have dreams, aspirations, goals, etc., and sometimes we even make a consistent effort to see them realized. However, more often than not, people refuse to consistently do what it takes to effect long-term, positive changes in their lives. As a result, they mindlessly stay on a road that leads nowhere, in a car they don’t even want to be in, surrounded by people they would just as soon leave at the next rest stop.

What EXACTLY are you getting out of that type of situation??

Sure, it’s easy to just sit back and know that you want to lose weight, make more money, or be in better relationships, but why not take a more active role in your own happiness by simply asking yourself: “What am I getting out of the fact that this area of my life isn’t what I want it to be?”

If you’re Fat

If you are, and you’re offended right now, then that should be a huge red flag that you aren’t getting what you want out of your level of health and fitness.

Do you like how it feels to hide your body behind clothes that disguise your curves? Do you like the fact that you see people every single day who have the type of body that you want to have? Do you like the fact that your self esteem and your self confidence take a hit every time you look in the mirror? Do you like the fact that other people have something that you want, but have been unable to attain?

Unless you can answer yes to those types of questions, then what exactly is it that is stopping you from taking the consistent, long-term steps necessary to lose weight? Don’t forget – the excuses are locked in a closet right now.

For most people, that will leave them with nothing to say in their defense, because excuses are all that they have been putting their back against for all of these years.

If you’re Broke

Money might not buy happiness, but it sure does buy plenty of opportunities and freedoms that allow us to do the things that cause happiness in our lives. If you’ve been struggling with finances, what exactly is it that you are enjoying so much about that struggle that causes you to keep doing it?

Do you like never having the money to do the things you want to do? Do you like worrying about whether or not you are going to have enough money to pay your bills? Do you like creditors and bill collectors calling you? Do you like seeing other people with the material goods or experiences that you want to have, yet you can’t have because you’re broke?

Unless you can answer yes to those types of questions, then what is stopping you from cleaning up your finances, and finding abundance in your life? With your excuses firmly locked away in the closet, the only thing you should be thinking right now is: “You’re right! It’s time to finally make changes after all these years!”

If you’re Relationships Stink

You may not feel that it is within your power to magically bring Mr. or Mrs. Right into your life, but you can control whether or not you stay with your present significant other, or whether or not your present relationship includes the experiences that you want to have.

Do you enjoy having someone in your life who doesn’t treat you the way that you want to be treated? Do you enjoy feeling like you are trapped in a relationship that you don’t want to be in? Do you enjoy fantasizing about a person or a relationship that is a far cry from where you are right now? Do you enjoy clocking off the precious, limited amount of hours in your life while having a relationship status that does not bring you joy?

Unless you can answer yes to those types of questions, then why exactly is it that you don’t make the hard decisions or take the appropriate action in order to change your circumstances? With your excuses locked away in the closet, it may very well be time to start taking massive action in order to safeguard your own happiness.

So, what are you going to do now? Will you continue to be fat, broke, or unhappy in your relationships, or will you leave the excuses safely locked away in the closet and start taking control over your life?

People who float through life just going with the flow are the same people who end up being dashed onto the rocks at the bottom of the waterfall, whereas people who are willing to kick, fight, claw, and scratch for what they want are the people whose lives become examples of what dreams are made of.

Life hands us plenty of opportunities to just take the easy way out, and most people do exactly that. Although they know in their heart’s that they want more than they are presently getting out of life, the huge effort that would be required of them to receive the spoils of going against the current is simply beyond their willingness to undertake. They apply a token effort (winging it) rather than a consistent 100% intensity effort (bringing it), and they are rewarded with wonderfully mediocre results.

People who BRING IT, on the other hand, take charge of their lives by giving up the victim mentality. As Joel Osteen is fond of saying, they are vicTOR’s rather than vicTIM’s.

It’s not an easy journey, though, which is precisely why most people don’t do it. Someone who is “bringing it” lays their head on their pillow at the end of the day with the true 100% belief that they did everything in their power to make their dreams a reality that day, and they often have the scars to prove it.

People from the “winging it” group, on the other hand, lay in bed at night wondering if they did the right thing, worrying about their future, lying to themselves about why they backed off on their intensity, why they ate so much junk food that day, or why they let that person push them around.

• People who BRING IT don’t worry about anything. They have truly done everything they can do, so worrying is a complete waste of time.
• People who just wing it constantly wonder what they could have done better, or what they need to do tomorrow to make up for today’s shortcomings.
• People who BRING IT may be scratched, beat up, bruised, or bleeding, but they go to bed knowing that they truly fought their best fight, and they are at peace as a result.
• People who just wing it are masters at coming up with reasons excuses for why they didn’t make an all out effort.
• People who BRING IT live up to their personal integrity every single day, even if it means a lack of security, or if it means taking a risk.
• People who just wing it always take the safe route, and they die just a little bit inside each time they give up what they truly want in order to settle for what they believe they can have.
• People who BRING IT realize that every 60 seconds of their life is another 60 seconds that they can take action towards their goals.
• People who just wing it always have reasons excuses for why they haven’t yet finished a project, or accomplished a goal.
• People who BRING IT understand that their position of power is something that they create internally, and that it has nothing to do with the outside circumstances.
• People who just wing it can always justify their willingness to give up control of their lives with lots of “real world” reasons for why it’s all out of their hands.
• People who BRING IT also KNOW that they are bringing it, and even if they live in a cardboard box, their cardboard box is the best one on the block because it was built with confidence and pride, not lack and despair.
• People who just wing it are well aware of the fact that they are winging it, and no matter how successful or unsuccessful they are, the voice in the back of their mind never stops reminding them that their life isn’t what it could be. They are also quite proficient at ignoring that voice.

There are a lot of people (myself included) who say that life should be full of joy, and that true joy is effortless. When you are truly living your life in alignment with your desires, struggle is not part of the equation. The confusion comes in when people equate the word “effortless” with the word “easy”.

Effortless means that even though you are gasping for air and physically exhausted during a workout, you are 100% confident that you are doing the right thing for your body, and that fills you with joy.

- Easy means that you don’t workout at all, or that you only give a token effort.

Effortless means that even though you have to live on 4 hours of sleep per night while you build a business or finish your education, you are 100% confident that you are doing the right thing for your future.

- Easy means just taking a day job and hoping for the best.

Effortless means that you do everything and anything in your power to make your relationships wonderful by being the best you that you can be, and you are 100% confident that anyone who doesn’t see the value in what you have to offer doesn’t deserve to have you in their life.

- Easy means settling for relationship circumstances that you don’t agree with or enjoy.

Effortless means standing up for what you believe in at work, at church, in your neighborhood, and even in your own home, because you are 100% confident that living up to your personal integrity is more important than living by the status quo.

- Easy means doing what everyone else is doing so you don’t rock the boat.

The difference between “effortless” and “easy” is the same difference between “Bringing It” and “Winging It”. One of those states of mind ensures success, abundance, happiness, and joy, while the other ensures struggle, strife, fear, and uncertainty.

Life gives us back exactly what we put into it. If you want your life to be a Kingdom of Glory, Success, Joy, and Happiness, then act like a King, not like a pauper.

This carnival is dedicated to the concept of stepping outside of the box and living our lives in ways beyond the “norm”!

Whether you want to learn unique ways to think or act differently, or if you want to share your own unique ideas, this carnival is for you!

This will be the final edition of the Doing it Differently blog carnival hosted at Today is that Day, so I have made this edition the most information packed edition yet!

Enjoy all of this great content, and if you like this carnival or if you are one of the authors featured in this edition, be sure to add this post to Stumbleupon, Digg, or your favorite social bookmarking site!

Self Improvement/Personal Growth

Stephen Martile – Great Friends

Sabrina Jefferson – Building Confidence By Doing

Personal Development by an INTJ – How To Solve Problems By Changing Your Frame Or Perspective

The Happy and Prosperous Blog – Self-Esteeming – Creating Self-Esteem

Never the Same River Twice – Are You Working With an Old Reality? How to Change Paradigms

Arun’s Daily Remedy – Conflicting Desires

Energies of Creation – Are You Trapped in a Brain Closet?

Relationships

Makeitbetter’s Weblog – I Hate Weddings

The Incurable Romantic – When the Lights Go Out

Conscious Flex – The Purpose of Human Relationships

Systems Thinker – Choosing Intimate Partners: To Repeat or Not to Repeat?

Parenting

David B. Bohl – How to Talk to Children

The Next 45 Years – Confessions from a Recovering Father

Homework. Dinner. Life. – Let Your Kids Stay In the Room While You Do It

Parenting Squad – Why Stay-At-Home-Dads Are Good For Families

Business/Success

Internet Business and Life at ProcessToProfits – How Are You Dividing Your Attention?

Bootstrapper – How to Telecommute Successfully: 50 Tips and Resources

Yes to Me – Are You Afraid To Express Yourself In Business?

Internet Business Coaching by Terry Dean – 7 Make Money Online Myths

Mark Riffey’s Business is Personal – Blocking time improves small business owner productivity

Don D. Morrison – Do You Have True Personal & Financial Freedom?

Get International Clients – How Information Products Sold In Foreign Markets Can Save Your Business When Your Economy Is Slow

Internet Business Guide – How To Save 2 Hours Per Day

Lee McIntyre’s Internet Marketing Blog – Low Cost Way to Get 1,000 Workers Today

Law of Attraction/Conscious Creation

Law of Attraction for Beginners – Cooking with Thought Energy

Good to Feel Good – A Secret Meditation for Law of Attraction Followers

The Environment

Phil for Humanity – Stop Watering Your Lawn

That wraps up the 18th and final edition of the Doing it Differently Blog Carnival! Many thanks to all of the most recent authors, as well as to all of the authors who have contributed in the past! I’m certain that the readers of this carnival have gotten great value from your content, so please accept my sincerest gratitude for all that you have shared!

The problems start when we fail to recognize the signs that are put before us; the very clues that tell us that we are capable of more than we are presently experiencing. We tend to see these “signs” as problems, and we push against them instead of recognizing them as the glorious gifts of insight that they truly are.

No matter what problems you are facing, there is an opportunity for you to grow as a person, and to create a life where those same problems either don’t exist at all, or they are no longer relevant to you. However, if you see those signs as problems that have to be solved – rather than personal growth opportunities – your entire life will boil down to nothing more monumental than simply reacting to your surroundings.

As this picture indicates, it’s not just which direction that you look, it’s what you see when you look there. Are you looking with jaded eyes that see everything in the worst possible light because of what you have been through in the past, or do you see a learning or growth opportunity in even the most extremely negative circumstances?

Make no mistake – life is not just an exercise in academia, or a chance for hearty philosophical debates about how things SHOULD be. Your life is hurtling before your very eyes right now, and the way that you look at your life is far more important than what you actually see.

• If you don’t like your job, or don’t feel like you are making enough money, that is a not a problem, it’s a personal growth opportunity.

What do you need to learn, or what action do you need to take in order to improve your career status? If you are not happy with your career, yet you stay in your position anyway, what does that say about you, and what can you learn from that, and then take action on?

• If you are having issues with another person – a friend, family member, co-worker, significant other – that is not a problem, it’s a personal growth opportunity.

What can you learn about yourself or that person that will make the issue go away? What steps can you take that will remove this person from your life, or remove their ability to affect your life? If you don’t enjoy another person, yet you continue to allow that negativity into your life, what does that say about you, and what can you learn from that, and then take action on?

• If you are overweight and can’t ever seem to stick to a nutrition or exercise program, that is not a problem, it’s a personal growth opportunity.

What is the true reason why you aren’t sticking to a healthy lifestyle? What skills, habits, or resources do you need to acquire in order to stay on track? If you don’t like being overweight, yet you continue to allow yourself to be that way, what does that say about you, and what can you learn from that, and then take action on?

There are endless examples of this same concept, and you can probably think of a few that apply to your life at this very moment. The formula is very, very simple:

Something you don’t enjoy in life = An opportunity for you to grow out of it

As long as you continue to see yourself as the victim of the circumstances in your life, you will continue to BE the victim. Being a victim is not so much as feeling the effects from any given set of circumstances as it is allowing yourself to BE victimized by those circumstances.

So, are you going to read this, become empowered, and then go right back over into the victim’s corner, or are you going to come running out of there, fists up, ready for action?

The choice, as always – is yours. I hope to see you out in the ring!

Today is Day 1 of the P90X® Extreme Home Fitness Program, and although at face value that would seem to just be about my own health and fitness, it actually goes much deeper than that, and there is a valuable personal growth lesson that can be learned from this story.

The P90X program is 12 DVD exercise videos that encompass what is arguably one of the most intense and effective exercise programs ever created. When looking at the promotional materials for P90X, and the before and after success stories, you can’t help but become excited about the possibilities, and to marvel at the sheer scale of success that you can attain as a result of going through the program. The weight loss, health, and fitness benefits are staggering in their implications, and the whole thing seems larger than life. Then, when UPS finally delivers your fast track to success, you tear open the box, and this is what you see:

Now, my own obvious lack of photographic skills notwithstanding, after the weeks of research that I did on P90X before I bought it, it was such a contrast to see all of the empowerment, strength, weight loss, and personal growth potential contained in such a little black box! Therein lies the personal growth lesson, however:

It’s not the size of your solution that matters, but rather your dedication to doing what it takes that determines your success – or lack thereof.

P90X is intense and extreme, and as I indicated, I did A LOT of research on it before I decided to buy it. There was one thing that came across loud and clear, however, no matter how many blogs posts I read about it, no matter how many interviews I watched or listened to with people who have used it, and no matter how many before and after pictures that I looked at:

You have to DO the work if you want the reward!

No one who successfully got results using P90X did so by:

• Making a half-hearted effort
• Only doing the parts of the program that they enjoyed
• Working out only when they felt like it
• Doing the exercises, but not sticking to the nutrition plan
• Sticking to the nutrition plan, but not doing the exercises

The people who got phenomenal results did so by:

• Having a goal and not losing sight of it
• Doing everything that it took to attain their goal, even if they didn’t want to, no matter how hard it was, and no matter how tired they got
• Sticking to the plan for 90 days straight, rather than jumping ship when they didn’t get a “quick fix”
• Consistently doing the work, 6 or even 7 days each week

Do you see a pattern here that has been discussed many times in the personal growth and development community?

Having a Goal

Doing what it takes to Succeed

Perseverance, even in the face of Adversity

Consistently working at your Plan

There is no quick fix for success, no magic pill, and no one who is going to come and save you. Whether your goal is weight loss, financial success, fulfilling relationships, or just to achieve inner peace, YOU are the only one who can do what it takes to make that happen.

There is no cavalry coming over the hill, no miracle money-making scheme that will solve all of your problems, and no Mr. or Mrs. Right who wants to be with you until you are worthy of being with.

People say that happiness is an inside job, and that is certainly true. However, SUCCESS is an inside job, too. With no knight in shining armor on his way to bail you out of being “stuck” in a life that you don’t want, there is only one person who can truly save the day for you, and that is you.

Please act accordingly.

As for me, I’ve got 90 DAYS OF PAIN in front of me. Is it because I LIKE pain? Hardly. It’s because I am a health and fitness coach, and even though leading by example isn’t always easy, it IS how you become successful, and it is also how you earn the opportunity to work with other people and to empower them to have the same success that you have had.

That sounds like a goal.
That sounds like doing what it takes to succeed.
That sounds like perseverance, even in the face of adversity.
That sounds like consistently working a solid plan.

That sounds like the recipe for success. As I said, please act accordingly.

p.s. – If I’m not back in in 90 days, SEND HELP!

Sometimes I write frequently elsewhere, and sometimes it is just occasionally, but in either case, it is content that I feel is worth sharing. Enjoy!

• Are you a Skinny Fat Person? – If you don’t know, then you need to read this!
• How to Lose Weight by Dancing – Just like the name sounds! Get your groove on and drop some pounds.
• A Review of WOWY and the Million Dollar Body Club – An incredibly thorough (if I do say so myself!) review of Beachbody’s WOWY® online gym and their feature-rich Million Dollar Body Club.

• Who’s Your Handler? – A rant (hey, I’m allowed!) about how people consciously and unconsciously let other people run their lives. That has to stop.

Self-sabotage is not just some cutesy catch-phrase, but rather a state of being that is every bit as real as poverty, obesity, homelessness, and any other world-class problem that you can think of. The human capacity for beating the crap out of our own dreams is, sadly, one of our greatest talents.

Don’t despair, however, because there is an easy way to get the ball rolling back in your direction, and it starts with 3 simple things to consider whenever you are faced with any lifestyle challenge, or even just a momentary challenge that you are trying to get through.

Focus on what you WANT, not on how you are going to get it

When it comes to getting what we want, our attention immediately go to HOW we are going to get it, and immediately on the heels of that comes our belief (or lack thereof) in whatever methods we came up with.

If you wanted to cross the street, you would know that you just had to look for cars, then put one foot in front of the other, and you would believe 100% in your ability to to do that. However, when we want something more complicated, our belief in our ability to get it runs in direct proportion to our belief in whatever method we come up with.

Here’s a clue: You don’t know everything!

Just because you came up with some “master plan” for attaining your desires does not mean that your plan is going to come to fruition. You could attain what you want by your plan working out, or, you could get what you want through some other method that you could not possibly have foreseen.

Coming up with a plan is awesome, and you should plan to your little heart’s content. However, you must also be open to attaining whatever it is that you want through means other than the means that you came up with. If you fail to do that, you will be a slave to your own plan, and if your plan doesn’t work out, then your belief in your ability to get what you want will disappear instantly.

Once the belief is gone, the chance of getting something is gone just as instantly.

Get out of your own way by coming up with a great plan, and working diligently on that plan, but at the same time remaining open to your desires coming at you from a direction that you never even considered.

Mentally prepare for the worst-case scenario

Directly on the heels of our ability to get something being based on our belief that we’ll get it comes our attachment to having it. Whether you want world peace, or if you just want to get a decent cup of coffee, you want whatever it is that you want for some reason.

Whatever that reason is, you want it because you want it, and you are attached to getting it. You feel that you will not be happy – over the long-term or the short-term – unless you get whatever it is that you want.

Here’s another clue: Your happiness is NOT dependent on you attaining that one desire!

No matter what it is that you want, unless your very survival depends on you getting it, your life will continue even if you don’t end up with it. You may not have world peace or that award-winning cup of coffee, but your days will continue to clock away just the same. In the end you’ll find that you getting what you wanted was not the “end all, be all” to you attaining happiness.

Get out of your own way by mentally planning for the worst-case scenario. What would happen if world peace never came about? What would your life be like if you didn’t get that cup of coffee? Once you have answered those questions, embrace the fact that there is a real possibility that you won’t get what you want, and then come to terms with it.

By releasing your attachment to getting whatever it is that you want, you also release your need to find a rock-sold, fail-proof plan to attain it (see above). Put simply: Hope for the best, but be prepared for the worst.

Have a back up plan

What if your worst-case scenario actually happened? What if world peace went the way of the dinosaur (doesn’t something have to exist before it becomes extinct?), and what if your perfect cup of coffee never got brewed?

What would you DO?

In the step above, when you mentally prepared for the worst-case scenario, you helped yourself to release your attachment to getting what you want. However, the critical next step is to actually PLAN for a life that doesn’t include getting what you wanted. By doing this step, you further release your attachment to getting your desire, and you also increase your belief that you will be happy even if you don’t get it.

Sure, most people want world peace or a good cup of coffee, but let’s not fool ourselves – there has to be an existence that we can be happy with even if those things never happen right?

Maybe we turn inwards for peace, or the wars of today are the building blocks of an incredibly wonderful future.

Maybe we decide that coffee isn’t all its cracked up to be, and we develop a real appreciation for water, and its many health benefits.

Get out of your own way by planning for the life that does NOT include you attaining your desires. Call it your “back up life” if that helps you to feel like you aren’t giving up on your dreams. Practice this concept by thinking in terms of some real-world examples:

• What if you don’t get that job? What will you do?
• What if your business fails? What happens then?
• What if your girlfriend dumps you? What will you do?
• What if you can’t become a super-model with P90X? What’s next?
• What if your boss really DOES hate you? What’s the next step?

None of these examples are meant to insinuate that you should just give up – far from it! Rather, the goal here is to encourage you to plan for your goals, work toward your goals, and be happy when visualizing your goals. However, by releasing your attachment to actually attaining your goals, you will remove the biggest roadblock that you have to getting them – YOU!

Oh sure, most people make a “token” effort at improving their lives, yet how many people can honestly say that they gave it everything they had before they gave up and moved on to something else?

Our lives are replete with opportunities for us to “rise above,” and to excel in every conceivable manner, yet a lack of immediate gratification tends to knock us flat long before we ever even get up a full head of steam. We never even get the chance to quit trying to attain something because we never completely engaged in the process of making it happen to begin with!

Think about any area of your life where you are wanting to make improvements, and then think about how much of a true effort you are making in that regard. Give no thought to phrases such as “doing the best I can,” or “doing what I can with what I’ve got”. Release your reliance on phrases or concepts like those, as they only serve to give yourself permission to fail based on any given set of circumstance. Think more along the lines of what if your life actually depended on you being successful? Are you trying that hard? Honestly?

What’s your relationship status?

If you aren’t 100% happy with your relationship status, can you honestly say that you have tried every single thing in your arsenal?

• If you’re single, do you act in every way like the type of person that you want to have in your life, or do you wish for that “dream mate,” yet not consistently act in a manner that your dream mate would be attracted to?
• Do you go out of your way on a consistent basis to meet new people, or do you sit around at home thinking that you’ll magically come across that special someone?
• Do you have a winning, confident attitude that will naturally attract prospective mates to you, or do you sit around wallowing in your loneliness?

Even if you have been taking appropriate action in each of those areas, have you been doing so for the entire span of time that you’ve been looking for a new mate, or have you just acted in those ways when it was convenient for you?

• If you’re married or involved in a relationship that needs improvement, do you work on improving that relationship every single day, or do you think that the relationship will just heal itself?
• Do you go out of your way to do the things that will make your significant other happy, even without them doing things for you first?
• Are the needs of your significant other something that you tend to frequently, even if they don’t at first reciprocate those efforts?

Although it is possible that your present relationship will not work out even if you do all of those things, until you make a consistent effort to try, you’ll never know for sure what could have been.

What is your health status?

Are you one of those people who is constantly trying to lose weight or improve your health in some way, yet you keep not achieving your goals? There are very few health and fitness related improvements that can’t be achieved when you truly make a consistent effort, so why is it that you can’t ever seem to get there?

• Do you consistently follow the basic nutritional guidelines that we all know lead to good health, or do you eat in a manner that you know is not going to effectively get you to your goals?
• Is an effective exercise program part of your daily lifestyle, or do you let work, family, or personal obligations keep you from regularly working out?
• Do you seek out the knowledge that you need in order to power a long-term health and fitness plan, or do you hide behind your lack of understanding as an excuse?

In each of those examples, there are ways to succeed, and ways to fail, yet you can’t “quit” the health and fitness scene because it “didn’t work” unless you first make an honest and long-term effort to achieve success in that arena.

What is your financial status?

If you dream of financial freedom or comfort, it will require an on-going effort on your part to provide some sort of value that other people are willing to pay for. What value is it that you are providing that is supposed to ensure your financial abundance?

• If you work for yourself, do you make a daily effort to provide the best possible experience for your customers, including long-term relationship building, or do you just go after quick sales?
• Do you have systems in place for creating new or improved products and services, or do you sit around wondering why you don’t have enough customers?
• If you want to start a business, do you consistently learn about and study business models and opportunities, or do you maintain your status as an underpaid employee because you lack the knowledge to do your own thing?
• If you work for someone else, and you enjoy doing so, are you making continuing efforts to provide more value to your employer, or are you just waiting for your next raise?
• Do you have a long-term plan with that company that includes specific goals, or are you simply doing your job every day, and hoping for the best?

Regardless of what your financial or employment status is right now, there is some way that you can improve those circumstances. However, unless you consistently try to improve, no one else is going to do it for you.

You have nothing to “quit” because the effort needed for you to succeed was never put in place to begin with.