We’ve all had goals that we wanted to accomplish at one point or another. They might be something big, like going to graduate school or buying a house, or something adventurous, like spending a month traveling the globe. They can be long term goals like saving a certain amount of money to retire on, or short term goals, like losing ten pounds before swimsuit season arrives. Regardless of size, they’re meaningless without a plan to achieve them.

So just what turns something from an idea or vague future plan into a specific goal to work toward? First and foremost, you can’t just say “someday I’d like to learn a foreign language.” Instead, you have to put a timeline on it. That means deciding that you want to learn to speak Spanish within the next five years, and then figuring out when you need to start taking lessons in order to fulfill your goal within that time frame.

Be Specific

The key to setting goals is being as specific as possible, from setting a start and end date, to defining exactly what you want to do. Don’t just decide you want to move to a new city eventually; flesh the idea out and decide that you want to move to a specific location, like Portland, Oregon, within the next two years. Then write down your goal and come up with a plan to achieve it.

In order to achieve your main goal, you need to set up a plan containing mini-goals. For instance, if you want to lose twenty pounds within the next six months, set sub-goals along the way to lose four or five pounds per month. Then set a goal to research diet and workout plans over the next week.

After you’ve finished your research, set mini-goals to workout at least four times a week, to eat more vegetables and less red meat, etc.

Of course, this works for pretty much any kind of goal you’re working toward. Once you’ve settled on a big goal, the initial stage should always involve setting smaller goals (or milestones) and doing research to help figure out how best to reach your goal.

Are you trying to save enough money to travel to Europe two summers from now? Research various savings accounts’ interest rates so that you can pick the highest-yielding option. Read travel guides and websites to get an idea of which cities you’ll want to visit and what hotels or hostels you want to stay in, how much airline tickets and rail fares will cost, etc. Then you can estimate the amount of money you’ll need to save to reach your goal. After the research is done, you can set mini goals to set aside a certain amount of your earnings every pay period in the savings account.

Ask For Help

Finally, never be afraid to ask for help and advice. Do you have a friend or relative who has achieved a goal similar to yours? Ask them for tips! This is especially worthwhile if your goal is life changing and involves something financial, like saving to retire or buy a house, or something related to career advancement or education, like learning a language, going back to grad school, or working toward a promotion or new job.

People who have been there before can give you helpful strategies for realizing your specific goal. So utilize all the information sources you can get your hands on, from your successful coworker or thrifty parents to the internet and your local library. Then draft up a plan and stick to it—you’ll be celebrating your achievements in no time.

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Affirmations are important and you need to be using them. Why? They work. Well, that is if you do them right. Let’s take a step back for a minute. Why do affirmations work? Simply put, your brain is a computer, but it’s not exactly a fancy computer, at least by today’s standards. It’s more like a really great computer by 1985 standards. What do I mean by that? Well, according to scientists the brain can process 2,000 pieces of information at any given time.

That sounds like a lot until you realize that your brain is being BOMBARDED with 2 BILLION pieces of information at any given time. Your brain simply can’t handle them all. Your subconscious mind holds the operating system for your mind. As we’ve said, it simply can’t handle them all so it uses the operating system made up of your previously held thoughts, beliefs, experiences etc to process them. That’s why you find yourself in patterns, doing the same thing over and over again, because your mind processes them based on it’s own internal operating system.

But what if you want to change that software program? That’s where affirmations come in. The questions you ask determine answers you get so if you don’t get the answers you want you need to ask different questions. In terms of affirmations, what you want to do is overwrite old patterns in your subconscious, and if you want to change, and if it’s extreme enough you need to do affirmations to rewrite or upgrade the software program that is your brain.

How often should you do affirmations? Well, they must be done enough to over ride old programming, however many times that takes. You don’t necessarily need to do them in a one for one ratio, just enough to see results and reprogram yourself. Some things to keep in mind: #1 it must be said in your words. It can’t be said in anyone else’s words or voice. My affirmations won’t work for you, for example.

# 2 The feeling behind it is critical. Just saying it won’t work. Focus on what would it feel like if the affirmation really worked and your program had really changed. Be as incredibly specific as possible. Really take the time and effort to get into that feeling, and then you’ll find that affirmations really, really work. Some people use recordings to reprogram themselves, but remember, you can’t just say it into a recorder and then listen to it back and expect results. You really need to perform the affirmation. You need to remember that your voice must have emotion behind it. When you record yourself, focus on how it feels when you’ve really made that change, what would your life really be life if and when you made this switch? What would this new programming feel like? How, exactly would your life be different? Really get specific, the more specific, the better.

The subject of affirmations is an incredibly broad topic, one worthy of considerable study. If one was interested, they might find themselves reading and studying all the can on affirmations, hypnosis and Neuro linguistic programming (NLP). However you choose to proceed, I highly recommend affirmations to you as a means of self growth and personal change. They really do work and are highly effective, though they may take a bit of practice, but what doesn’t? Invest in the time and invest in yourself. I guarantee you will find that it is well worth the effort.

How should you get started? Make a list of things you would like to improve, brainstorm. Put everything on paper. Then pick one. Practice the art of crafting an affirmation until you have one that you think will work. Then test that theory. Be patient and be prepared to be surprised. This is a very powerful form of change, but often a very subtle one. You may find yourself just magically exhibiting the new behavior you want. That sounds good, doesn’t it?

Today’s question, affirmations, what are you experiences with them? Have they worked, have they not, why or why not? Leave us a comment, tell us about your experiences, and please don’t forget to check out all of the other great today is that day articles we have here on the site and share them! Tell all your friends about us! Thanks for getting the word out.

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Valuable life lesson from your dog #1: Unconditional love

Your dog loves you, period. This love is pure, unconditional and ever-present. It isn’t conditional. They don’t love you when you do what they want or when you spend a lot of money on them. They don’t care if you’re fat or skinny, tall or short. They don’t care how the stock market is doing or what kind of car you drive. They just love you, pure and simple. They always have, and they always will.

(or, at least it shouldn’t)

LESSON LEARNED: Love really is all you need, and no, it doesn’t cost a thing.

“To love someone unconditionally is not to care who they are or what they do. Unconditional love, on the surface, looks the same as indifference.”
– Richard Bach, Inspirational Quotes from Today Is That Day

Valuable life lesson from your dog #2: Living in the moment

For your dog, there is nothing but this moment. They don’t care what has happened before and they aren’t concerned with what is coming next. If they want to play, they want to play, they don’t care how many times you may have taken them to the park or for a walk. They want to go. Now. And it’s always exciting to them. If they want food, they want it NOW. They don’t care that you fed them five minutes ago. That was the past, and the past is nonexistent for them. They only care about what is happening right here, right now, in this very moment.

LESSON LEARNED: Focus on the now, and the future takes care of itself.

“Stress is caused by being ‘here’ but wanting to be ‘there’.”
– Dr. Seuss, Inspirational Quotes from Today Is That Day

Valuable life lesson from your dog #3: Shake it off

What’s the first thing a dog does when it comes out of the rain? Or if your dog gets in a scuffle or excited? They literally shake it off, whatever “it” is. It could be they’re trying to shake off the adrenaline, energy, or whatever. But it’s the first thing they do. And the crazy thing is we’ve tried it, and it works. If it helps, you can think of this as basically an NLP tool. In NLP, everything is just a “state.” Happiness is a state, sadness is a state. If you don’t like the state you’re in, you change it. You literally shake it off and step into a new one. Who knew Fido was that wise?

LESSON LEARNED: Walk it off, whatever it is, and move on to the next challenge.

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one getting burned.”
– Buddha, Inspirational Quotes from Today Is That Day

Valuable life lesson from your dog #4: Say it like it is.

Canines are delightfully unpretentious. You never wonder where you stand with them. They don’t pretend to like you, they either do or they don’t, and they let you know in no uncertain terms. They don’t put up any facades when they greet the world. They never pretend to be someone they’re not. They simply are who they are. If they want to be petted, you’ll know, if they want to be fed, you’ll know. They put it all out there. No B.S. There’s a lot to be said for that.

LESSON LEARNED: Be who you are. If people don’t like it, that’s their problem.

“All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.”
– Arthur Schopenhauer, Inspirational Quotes from Today Is That Day

Valuable life lesson from your dog #5: Balance

Live hard, play hard, work hard, be lazy, relax. Laugh more, play more, be lazy. It’s okay to do nothing for a day or two. Turn the brain off. You can’t think all the time, really, really get your sleep on. Don’t feel guilty for being a couch potato, as long as you’re an occasional couch potato, and make sure you earned that time on the couch. Exercise, and eat right, but don’t deprive yourself of those occasional indulgences. Life seems short, but only if you do it right. If not, it can seem long and hard and not in a fun way.

LESSON LEARNED: Work hard, play hard, be lazy, relax.

“Surround yourself with people who take their work seriously, but not themselves, those who work hard and play hard.”
– Colin Powell, Inspirational Quotes from Today Is That Day

There you have it! Those are the five lessons we learned from our dogs. Now for our question for you: what lessons have you learned from your dog?

Yesterday morning, however, was different. Gratitude was replaced by anxiety as I counted up my sleep and decided it was enough. I stopped only briefly to ask my husband in passing whether he’d slept well. In retrospect, I was feeding the wrong wolf, but there I went, wandering further in the wrong direction.

I started worrying about time, and specifically lack of it. Check-in for our flight was at 8:00, it was now nearly 6:30, and I stood in my pajamas wondering if the weather was going to be a problem. Heavy rains were just starting, and were scheduled to get even heavier. As I started getting ready, I pictured every kind of weather-related plane disaster imaginable.

Is Anxiety Controlling You?

When we got to the airport, there were no delays, which I thought was a good sign. In the plane, I was glad to find a place to stow my bag, and then the anxiety started creeping back into my thoughts. Get out of the aisle, you’re in the way, the chances of you and David dying together in a plane crash are infinitesimal. The thought comforted me in an odd way. I went further with my theories: I’ve known two people who died on planes, so the chances of it happening to me as well are pretty much non-existent. But there’s always terrorism. Could any of these people be carrying a weapon?

I had to step in and intervene in this line of thought. The way I was going, toward total insanity and paranoia, was neither helpful nor enjoyable. I reminded myself that every time I’ve ever taken a flight, I do this same thing – I look for ways that things could end in death, and guess what? I’m still alive.

I decided to lay down the law with myself. I could either spend the rest of my life avoiding flying and worrying about terrorists, or I could just accept the great Divine that is God, and that I have a purpose on the earth that I am here to fulfill. When that mission is over, it’s over, and no amount of anxiety or stress is going to affect that. Admitting that to myself, hearing that truth in my head, allowed me to relax and enjoy the rest of the journey.

Overcoming Anxiety And Fear

This is a far cry from how I was in earlier years, not even able to venture out of my house, much less get on an airplane. Without medication, it was a certainly a struggle to heal my anxiety disorder, but now, on the plane, I could enjoy the luxury of feeling pleased with how far I’ve come.

I’d like to take a moment to tell another old story. There was a Shaman who, on the night of each full moon, would sit with the village children and recount the story of the white wolf and the dark wolf. These were two wolves who had been adversaries since the dawn of time. The white wolf thrives on truth, kindness, and love. The dark wolf, on the other hand, gains his strength from hatred, fear, and lies. The two wolves would battle again and again, and each time the children heard the story, they would ask which wolf wins in the end. The shaman’s answer was simple: “The wolf that wins is the one you feed!” And so it is.

If you’ve seen these posts before, then go ahead and revisit them – most of what I write is timeless. If you haven’t, then here is a chance to see some great content from the past that you missed the first time around. Enjoy!

• Everybody’s been the dog… – How do you turn science fiction into a lesson about your own infinite potential? Read the post to find out!
• 50 First Dates… - A life lesson about living in the moment learned from watching a very funny and entertaining movie with Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore.
• How was your Day? – How much difference can a single 24-hour day make in your long-term success? How about all of the difference in the world?
• Did you feel that Tapping? – For you die-hard people who think that having a plan is the “end all, be all” of success, this post might make you think twice about living by that philosophy.

The first – and best – course of action is obviously to just avoid getting shot at in the first place. Barring that option, however, the next best thing to do is to duck, dodge, or otherwise evade the bullets that life will inevitably throw at you.

Now, I am obviously talking figuratively here, not literally, yet ironically enough, living a life where you can dodge mental bullets will probably keep you from having to dodge literal bullets as well, so it’s an all-around good technique to learn!

The trick to dodging mental bullets is not to actually get out of the way whenever someone fires them at you, but rather to neutralize those mental bullets, thus eliminating their ability to cause you any harm.

Although in a perfect scenario, we could all simply avoid the negativity that is brought into our lives by other people, realistically that is not always going to be possible. However, by knowing how to make yourself impervious to those negative mental bullets (without being from Krypton or having magic bracelets), no matter how negative any given situation is, you will still be able to minimize or eliminate the affect that situation has on you and your life.

The trick to this lies in a very simple concept that everyone is familiar with: Opposites.

What do opposites have to do with eliminating negativity from your life? Quite simply, because opposites cancel each other out.

It is not possible for any extreme state of being to remain in an extreme state whenever the opposite of that state is applied to it.

Confused? Try out these examples:

• What happens when you mix black and white? You get gray.
• What happens when left and right meet in the middle? A straight line.
• What is the mid-line between moving forward or moving backwards? Standing still.
• What happens if you try to go up and down at the same time? Nothing.
• What is the difference between partly cloudy and partly sunny? Sorry, that’s not part of the lesson – I just had to throw it in there!

The point here is that if some person or some situation comes at you from an extremely negative standpoint, then all you have to do in order to dodge that bullet is to focus on the polar opposite of whatever the negativity is, and you will immediately neutralize the extreme nature of that negativity.

People

If someone walks up to you and starts screaming and yelling, just remain calm, and put yourself in a happy place. In fact, if you can conjure up an actual smile, that will REALLY help. It may not help the person screaming and yelling, but it will certainly help you, and what you need is what this is really all about anyway.

Your calm, cheerful demeanor will at the very least keep you from losing your cool and saying or doing something that you’ll regret, and at the same time it may have the added benefit of diffusing the situation. Even the instigator of the whole thing may chill out, and both of you can then move forward without all of that negative energy.

Situations

If an extremely negative situation comes up in your life, the first thing to realize is that the situation just is what it is. You may be able to make the situation better in the future, but at the moment when you find out about (and are most susceptible to the negative effects of) the situation, simply accepting the situation for what it is needs to be the first step.

Once you have accepted the situation, then you can pull out the “opposite card”. Since the goal is to avoid the negative influence that this situation could have on your state of mind, don’t focus on finding a solution at this point, but rather just finding and focusing on the opposite of the situation.

Whenever you focus on the polar opposite of any given negative situation, what is the polar opposite of negative? Positive! No matter what negative situation has been presented to you, you can immediately eliminate the negativity by thinking about and FEELING about the opposite of that situation.

Remember, the goal here is not to find solutions to the situation, but rather to just protect yourself from the negativity that the situation has created.

Health

Have you ever heard the phrase “the rich get richer and the poor get poorer“? The reason why that phrase is true is because rich people focus on prosperity, while poor people focus on poverty. It is nothing more complicated or covert than the frequently proven fact that people get what they focus on. This applies to your health just as much as – if not more than – any other areas of your life.

If you wake up in the morning and think “I am so sore,” or “I am so tired,” or “I don’t feel well,” then you will continue to recreate those same feelings all day long. No matter what you do physically in order to try to alleviate those conditions, if you stay mentally focused on the fact that for some real or imagined reason you are supposed to be sore, tired, or ill, you will find a way to keep feeling exactly like that.

Focus instead on the opposite of those feelings. Yes, it will be hard at first because you DO feel sore, tired, or ill. However, by continually focusing on the opposite of those feelings, you will empower your own body to minimize or even eliminate whatever it is that caused those feelings to begin with. Or, if you can’t wrap  your head around the fact that your mind controls your body (and it does!), then you should still be able to get your head around the simple fact that if you stop thinking about something unpleasant, you’ll stop noticing it as well.

Your life is not just made up of the actual events that transpire during your time here on Earth, but rather how you feel about what happens to you here on Earth. Depending on your personal belief systems, you recognize that you have anywhere from partial to complete control over the physical happenings in your life, and most people exercise their level of control regularly.

However, the one thing that is absolutely beyond debate is that you have 100% complete, utter control over what you think and what you feel as a result of those thoughts. If your life is the sum of the thoughts and feelings that you have about your physical experiences (and it is), and you can control your thoughts and your feelings 100% of the time (and you can), then doesn’t it just make sense to have the best possible thoughts and feelings as often as you can?

You’ve got absolutely nothing to lose by attempting to use this system of dodging mental bullets, and since I don’t see Wonder Woman or Superman swooping in to save your day, you might want to think about handling that responsibility on your own…

The human mind runs just like the hard drive on your computer does, only in an unbelievably faster and more efficient manner. However, when it comes to basic programming, the same rules apply: If you put negative stuff in, you will only get negative stuff out.

It is not possible to program a computer – or your mind – with commands that create gibberish and chaos, but then expect what gets displayed on the screen – or in your life – to be orderly, perfect, and effective. If you want to program yourself for success then you need to lock down your mind against every single thought that is not colored with success, bathed in positivity, and wrapped up in an iron-clad sense of expectation.

It’s the Predominant Thoughts that are Hurting You

Many people struggle with reprogramming themselves for success because although they practice positive thinking, they visualize, and they say their affirmations, negativity is still the predominant factor in their life. It isn’t the affirmations and the visualizations that are getting in the way, but rather the thoughts and the feelings that are active the rest of the time!

Most people’s lives have been drenched in negativity for so long that an “offensive” move such as visualizing or saying affirmations is just a drop in the bucket compared to the onslaught of negativity that our minds are subjected to when we are not visualizing or affirming.

The results that we have in our lives are a direct result of the thoughts and feelings that we have, and the actions that we then take as a result of those thoughts and feelings. If the majority of your life is an onslaught of negativity, then your predominant thoughts, feelings and corresponding actions will not be positive.

All you have to do to confirm this is to look around your life right now. Your life’s results are a direct result of your own thoughts, feelings, and actions. If you do not have the results that you want, then your predominant thoughts are not yet programmed for success, but rather are programmed for the lack of it.

How to Break the Cycle and Program yourself for Success

There is no such thing as a “first step” here, because all of these activities should be undertaken every single day, preferably several times per day, if not all day long. Remember, the goal here is to program yourself for success, not to just give yourself a tiny spoonful.

1. Do your “feel good processes” over and over again. Full credit goes to Gary Evans and the Manifest a Miracleprogram for the phrase “feel good processes,” because that is exactly what they should be. We’re talking about visualizing, meditating, saying affirmations, practicing gratitude, etc.The entire point behind these practices is to make you FEEL GOOD about whatever it is that you are considering while you do them. Positive thoughts about what you want in your life will create positive results, negative thoughts will create negative results. Period.
2. Eliminate or avoid negative influences. For many people, this will mean nothing less than a radical change in their lifestyle. Negative influences can and do include friends, family members, co-workers/employers, the television and printed news, and even the television shows and movies that we watch. Remember: Garbage in = Trashy Results. It doesn’t matter where the garbage comes from.
3. Choose carefully what advice to listen to. Avoiding negative influences doesn’t just mean staying away from negative people. It can also mean to ignore negativity that comes from  sources that are normally positive or uplifting.Just because you are reading a book that resonates with you, that does not mean that everything in that book is going to lead you down the right path. Make your own choices about what is good in that book vs. what should go in one ear and out the other. Likewise, when seeking counsel from other people, just because they give you advice, you are not obligated to take it! Even a person that you consider to be a positive influence can give you advice that will not resonate with you, or that will not take you where you want to go.
4. Surround yourself with never-ending reminders to stay positive. There are countless ways to keep yourself reminded of the fact that you are working towards a more positive state of mind, and towards the successful attainment of your goals. Just as when taking advice, however, you should only use the methods that you are personally comfortable with, rather than using what “most people” consider to be effective. Who cares what “most people” think?Check out the post How to Infect Yourself with the Personal Development Virus for an awesome list of ways to stay on the fast-track to success, and make sure to use a good mix of methods. I would recommend visual methods (vision boards, pictures), audio methods (affirmations, positive recordings), and mental methods (visualization, meditation).

The bottom line to all of these methods to program yourself for success is that they all stress the INTAKE of information. Remember that your mind is like a computer and that what you put in directly affects what you get out. There is no gray area there – that is simply the way it works!

The only way you are going to program yourself for success is to go on the offensive, and to make a conscious effort to not only have a constant intake of positive, success-filled thoughts and feelings, but to also avoid any thoughts and feelings that cancel out your success-driven mentality.

Until you learn to avoid or shield yourself from negative influences that are the opposite of your dreams, you will forever be stuck in a loop of taking one step forward, and one step back!

Recently someone found the Today is that Day website (specifically this post) by searching MSN for the phrase “what will make me positive”.

Well, the short answer to that question is that no person or set of circumstances can make someone else positive. Positivity is something that comes from the inside, and it is up to us as individuals to decide the level of influence that outside factors will have on our own attitude.

However, there are certain things that you can do which will keep you on the right track, so to our new visitor (and everyone else), here is a list of 7 ways to become a positive person. Enjoy!

1)  Mind your feelings, Luke!

One of the hardest things about keeping a positive attitude (or about self improvement in general), is remembering to constantly focus on the desired end result.

Life throws lots of negativity at us and it can sometimes get to the point where lashing out against the onslaught is nothing less than self defense. However, if you create a negative state of mind by reacting in a less than positive manner – no matter how justified that reaction may be – you will still have created that negative state of mind.

If you need to, bust out your Jedi mind control and get those emotions under control, lest they control you!

2) Take out the Trash

As you learn more and more about having a positive attitude), it may become easier to take on the belief that the higher you get, the more you can look down on others. Don’t do that.

However, no matter how open-minded and understanding you manage to become – even in the face of adversity – there will always be people who regularly insist on bringing negativity into your life. Get rid of them.

Yes, yes, I know. You can’t get rid of your family members, you can’t fire you co-workers, blah, blah, blah. No, you may not be able to completely get rid of them, but you can limit your interaction with them, and you can tell them to take a hike when they are being negative.

What’s the worst that could happen? Some negative family member or annoying co-worker stops talking to you?? Don’t be afraid to tell negative people to get out of your bubble!

3) Reach for the Golden Nuggets

Okay, so what about those situations where there is negative energy, and you just can’t get away? Look for the good!

There is some positive aspect to even the most mind-numbing situations, and by finding that silver lining, you can turn a perceived bad set of circumstances into something that works towards your own interests.

Having trouble figuring out how to be happy about obnoxious teenagers, what is good about your jerk of a boss, or what possible positive outcome could happen as a result of your car breaking down?

Each of these things gives us contrast. They teach us how to behave (or not behave), they teach us to be better prepared, or they simply teach us to enjoy the times in our lives when those circumstances are not present.

Would you really know how to appreciate a roaring fire and a cup of hot cocoa if you had never come close to freezing to death after walking a mile in the snow after your car broke down?

4) Plan your good Samaritan Effort

Every day, plan to do something completely selfless. No, it can’t be something that looks selfless, but is actually all about you. It has to be something that you do for someone else, and you expect absolutely nothing in return.

This act doesn’t have to be some major undertaking, either. Do a chore around the house that you normally wouldn’t do. Bring your co-worker a cup of their favorite beverage from the coffee shop. Buy someone lunch. Help an elderly person load their groceries into their car.

Do something like that every day. In fact, plan it out in advance, so that you are sure to get it done. Can’t see what helping other people has to do with becoming a positive person?

Try it every day for a week and then come back and post a comment on this blog about how great you feel!

5) Plaster a Smile On

When all else fails, smile like you mean it – even if you don’t! Human beings are naturally social creatures, and even if we are in the foulest of moods, by interacting with other people in a positive manner, we start the slow or even sudden climb to feeling more positive.

Whenever I workout at the gym, I have zero interest in talking to other people. I am there to workout, I am very focused, and I would prefer not to be disturbed.

However, when someone motions for me to help them with something, and I begrudgingly take off my headphones so I can hear what they are saying, something miraculous happens:

I help them, or answer their question, and then I feel better afterwards! Even if I just wrap my headphones back around my head and go back to working out in my undisturbed manner, I always feel better for having interacted with and assisted another person.

6) Mainline the Good Stuff

Experience positive and uplifting circumstances throughout each day. It’s just not possible to run around in a negative mood all the time if you consistently experience and appreciate things that you consider to be positive.

Everyone has their own definition of what is positive for them, but here is a brief list of things that you can experience frequently throughout each day:

• Affirmations – No, not affirmations that you say (although those are great, too), but rather affirmations that you see. Put uplifting messages on your computer wallpaper or around your office, set up your email program to send you affirmations at certain times each day, use your cell phone or PDA to send yourself positive messages and reminders at preselected intervals.
• Audio content – Listen to empowering audio while you are driving, on your computer, or on your portable music player when you are working out. Again, by constantly inputting positive information, it just won’t be possible to maintain a negative state of mind.
• Look around – Everyone has things in their immediate surroundings at any given time that they can be grateful for. However, if you don’t take the time to consciously appreciate those things, you will get into the habit of just taking them for granted. Every few hours just stop what you are doing, and for 5 minutes just look around wherever you are and appreciate things that you normally just take for granted.

7) Remember why you Care

And last, but hardly least, remind yourself several times per day (or several dozen!) that you want to have a positive outlook on life, and remind yourself about why you even care.

You can use exercises like those mentioned above all day long, but if you don’t have a true desire to actually have a positive attitude, then these types of activities won’t do you much good. If you choose to live your life as a positive person, then you must have some reason for choosing that path.

Each time a potentially negative influence crosses your path, remind yourself of your reason for wanting to be a positive person. Your desire to be positive will outweigh your desire to have a negative reaction to the outside stimulus, and after awhile this entire process will become second nature.

1. Recognize Why the Change Happened

For better or for worse, whatever it is that has changed in your life, it happened for a reason. Maybe it was something that you did or didn’t do, or maybe it was something that someone else did or didn’t do. In either case, there was some purpose behind the change that you now need to discover.

Please don’t confuse “purpose” with “reason”. To use an extreme example, let’s say that someone you care about dies in a car accident. As sad as that is, the reason behind that person’s death was the car accident itself, but knowing that will not help you to move past the incident.

However, by discovering what purpose was served by their death, then you can turn the situation around in order to at least start walking towards the future, rather than dwelling on the past.

To use my own example, my Mom died of brain cancer when I was barely 21 years old. Her and I were very close and I was totally devastated. However, even though her life was anything but pleasant towards the end, she was still up before the dawn and the last person to go to sleep every night, because she saw the value in her time here on earth.

That was 16 years ago, and I am still almost always the first one out of bed in our house, and the last one to go to sleep at night.

2. Keep your Emotions in Check

If something happens that upsets you, it can be very difficult to reign in your emotions. You are sad, or mad, or infuriated, or frustrated, etc., and the last that you want to do right now is practice emotional mastery!

In fact, recognizing your emotions for what they are is part of the process of getting through that tough spot in your life. If you’re sad, then why are you sad? Why are you mad? Why are you frustrated?

As I said in the post ‘How to Eliminate Fear from Your Life‘, when people are afraid of a certain outcome, it drives their behavior. So if you are mad, sad, or frustrated by a negative change in your life, take emotional control by realizing what it is that is making you feel that way.

• Are you afraid that you won’t be able to live without a person who isn’t in your life anymore?
• Are you afraid that you will not be able function and be happy in a situation where your anger is constantly a part of your day?
• Are you afraid that your level of frustration is going to cause you to lose control?

Whatever your emotional reactions are to a negative change in your life, they will always be fueled by your need to have or to not have something in your life. By recognizing that need – even if it is painful – it will put you on the path to brighter days.

3. Be Grateful

This one can be hard for some people, especially if the negative change was really big. However, it is always – and I mean always – possible to be grateful for the changes in our lives, even the changes that we perceive to be negative.

Why should you be grateful? Because now you have contrast. You are now clearly able to see the difference between what you want and what you don’t want, so you can now apply all of your amazing abilities as a human being to get what you do want from now on.

If a relationship ends, or someone is taken from you, then you have the opportunity to understand – sometimes at a very high cost – what grief, despair, or loneliness feels like. Even thought it hurts, from now on you will appreciate all of the moments in your life when you don’t feel that way a lot more than you would have appreciated them before.

Sure, it’s a hard lesson to learn, but it is a lesson, and by being grateful for that lesson, you will appreciate – and enjoy – your life more as a result. Maybe not at first, but eventually you will.

4. Look to the Future

What’s next? Whether the negative change in your life is something simple, or if it is something major, you can always make the future a brighter place by planning how to move forward.

As human beings, we have an innate need for a sense of “direction,” or a belief that we are walking down a certain path. Even people who claim that they just want to “get through life and have fun” still have a path, even if that path is to do just that.

Whenever a negative change happens in your life, your path will have been permanently altered. However, as the sole conductor on the train of your life, you can still decide which direction your life will take now that the change has taken place.

At first it can be very difficult to focus on the future, and that is okay. In fact, depending on the severity of the change that has happened in your life, you may even feel like you don’t care about the future! That is fine as well. Allow yourself time to “heal” or to calm down after something negative has happened.

However, eventually, you will remember who you are, what you stand for, and what you want to get out of life. That strength will either move you towards the future one baby step at a time, or it may propel you forward like a rocket once you have come to terms with the negative change.

In either case, you are – and always have been – in the driver’s seat. Even after a negative change in your life, it is still possible to choose a new destination that is to your liking.

Use these 5 basic guidelines as an outline that will help to safeguard you from negativity, and will also help you to identify negative people so that you can remove yourself from their sphere of influence.

Once you have internalized not practicing the following unsuccessful habits, you will suddenly start noticing people in your life who consistently practice them on an almost daily basis.

1. No Gossiping

It doesn’t matter how justified you think you are in talking about other people’s perceived shortcomings, doing so will never serve to bring about positive results.

When people do things that you don’t agree with or that you don’t understand, all that demonstrates is that they do not see life in the same way that you see it. It doesn’t it make them a bad person, it just means that their understanding of any given situation is different than yours.

Granted, in many circumstances it may seem painfully obvious that someone could have handled a situation in a more positive manner. However, even if that is the case, rehashing the details with other people will only perpetuate the negativity.

In addition, many people thrive on discourse and chaos, so by participating in negative discussions about others, all you are doing is indirectly giving people permission to continue adding fuel to that fire. When you are seen as a “negative fuel source,” you will invariably find that people will continue stopping by to get a fill-up!

2. No Whining or Complaining

Let me ask you this: Does whining or complaining about any given situation actually do anyone any good whatsoever?

I’m not talking about constructive criticism, learning from our mistakes, or recognizing pitfalls so that we can avoid them in the future. No, I’m talking about when a situation is already clearly less than desirable, yet you continue to talk about how undesirable it is!

When the office thermostat is broken and it is cold as a deep-freeze in your building, will anything be gained by continuing to repeat the obvious? If your spouse or significant other is being (in your opinion) unreasonable, are you going to gain anything by constantly spouting off about how upset you are about the situation?

Complaining accomplishes absolutely nothing other than drawing attention to an already less than favorable set of circumstances. If something is worth complaining about, then it is also worth taking action on. Stop whining, and start taking action, because if you don’t, all of the whiners and complainers will crowd around you in order to get their negativity fix.

3. No Co-Dependency

All of us have friends, family members, or co-workers who bring real-world negative issues to us, and ask for our input. Sometimes they are looking for advice, while other times they just want to “vent”.

In either case, however, pumping up their already negative point of view by agreeing how terrible any given situation is will only serve to cement in their minds how terrible that situation is! In addition, you will be sending them the clear signal that you are willing to be a sounding board for their complaints in the future.

Rather than rallying the forces of negativity in order to combat someone’s issues, instead just provide for them a calming, reassuring voice of reason when their lives are in turmoil. Don’t turn your back on them, but don’t fuel their point of view that they are the “victim” either.

Instead, listen with a compassionate ear while keeping your own feelings in check. You will do them much more of a service by helping them to find a positive spin on their situation rather than becoming a participant in their negativity.

4. No Cross Contamination

It is impossible to swim in a river full of muddy water, yet still be able to get out of that river without a speck of dirt on you. The only way to avoid that dirt – or that negativity – is to refuse to take a dip into that river in the first place.

From an emotional standpoint, it is not possible for you to participate in negativity, and then go back into your positive bubble without dragging some of that negativity in with you.

Most people would say that it is not possible for them to completely avoid negativity, and I would tend to agree. However, just because you are physically present in a situation does not mean that you need to actually participate on an emotional level.

You can be involved in a discussion or in the resolution of a negative situation without allowing your own emotional set point to drop down to a less-than positive level. When life throws negativity at you, stay in the game, but practice equanimity in order to handle the situation without allowing the negative vibrations to affect you on an individual level.

5. No Being “Holier than Thou”

After finding all of these great ways to recognize and avoid negativity, it becomes very easy to think that you are somehow “different” than everyone else. You start to feel “enlightened” and you recognize how a large number of the people in your life are on planes, trains, and automobiles that are all headed in the wrong direction.

Here’s a clue: get a grip on yourself! You are no better, nor any worse than any of those people. Those people are neither better, nor any worse than you.

The only difference between the “enlightened” you and the people who practice negativity is that you see things from a different point of view than they do. It is not appropriate for you to try to force your way of thinking onto those people, and in most cases it is also quite impossible.

By running around life with an attitude that you are somehow better than other people, all you will do is serve to alienate most of the people around you. Then, before you know it, other “holier than thou” individuals will start to flock to your side. Then all you will have accomplished is serving to divide your circle of influence into people who live on the “right” or the “wrong” side of the tracks – from your point of view.

Conclusion: By following guidelines similar to the methods that you just read, and by  practicing the fine art of being positive, you will begin to enjoy your life and consciously create it to be whatever it is that you want it to be.

That’s the prize.

However, be advised that these success habits are just that – habits. Only practicing them when it is convenient for you to do so will only bring about positive results in small doses. Consistency is key.

Also, be prepared to burn some bridges in the process. Right now in your life there are probably people who will fade away completely when they realize that you will not be participating in their drama anymore.

The ladder of success is never crowded at the top!

There was one part where the psychologist is saying that Reese is crazy, and that his belief in the Terminators being from the future is the perfect fantasy because it doesn’t require a shred of evidence.

The Law of Attraction is just like that!

Whether you are a believer or a non-believer there is absolutely no way to prove that you are right – or that you are wrong.

Much like the concept of religion, you see what you want to see when it comes to the Law of Attraction.

Believers will tell you that everything they manifested was a direct result of them properly following the LOA principles.

However, non-believers will try some of the techniques, not see astounding results, and exclaim (if I may borrow James Arthur Ray’s comments):

To once again compare conscious creation to religion, most people will say that having faith or belief is the key to invoking the almighty powers that be.

However, just like religion, if you see (or don’t see) results when using the Law of Attraction it is quite impossible to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that the LOA was responsible for your results – or lack thereof.

This becomes even more apparent (and non-believers will love this) when the acquisition of dreams by people who use the LOA always and only end up coming about as the result of very down-to-earth and explainable events.

Believers will say that those events would never have happened if it hadn’t been for their faith and proper application of the methods, while non-believers will say that the whole thing is a bunch of nonsense.

Who is right?

What if someone were to come up to you and ask you for irrefutable evidence that your faith in and proper practice of your religion was responsible for some amazing turn of events in your life?

Could you prove scientifically that your religion was the direct and only cause for that turn of events?

And before someone calls out the dogs and wants to burn me at the stake for sacrilege, I am not saying that people should not honor their religious beliefs.Quite to the contrary, actually.

If your belief in your religion and your faith in your deity is what allows you to believe that you need to make a conscious effort to live a proper lifestyle, and that you will be rewarded for doing so, then by all means, please keep the faith.

After all, that is exactly what is expected of LOA believers. There are methods and systems for properly and deliberately creating the life that you want to live, and if you fail to honor those guidelines, you don’t get what you wanted.

So, is the whole Law of Attraction thing just a scam that is being pulled on the world at large just to line the pockets of a few choice individuals?

Or maybe it is just a belief system that provides a guideline for how to live a prosperous and wonderful life.

There is no way to know, because as I mentioned before, the entire thing – whether you believe it or not – does not require a shred of scientific evidence.

You know. Just like religion.