Often in life, it’s hard maintain a peace of mind. Things are constantly being asked of us. This can range from very benign requests, like a good friend inviting you to a party, to more troublesome ones, like your boss asking you to take on yet another project on top of an already overgrown workload. You don’t want to be the type of person who refuse everything, but you also can’t agree to everything that comes your way, or you’ll lose your sense of personal balance.

After all, no one can do it all. Veer too far in one way or the other, and your whole life will be thrown out of whack. That’s why it’s so important to be able to determine what things are important enough agree to and what things are unimportant enough to turn down. If you can get good enough at doing this, you’ll go a long way toward finding better personal balance.

Right about now, you’re probably thinking something along the lines of “easier said than done,” and it’s true that it won’t always be easy to decide whether or not to decline. You can take some steps to make it somewhat simpler, though. First and foremost, always remember that you’re not alone and you don’t have to handle everything yourself. When you’re feeling overwhelmed, it’s time to figure out what can go undone and what can be delegated.

Your Home World

Are you exhausted from a crazy work week, but you feel like you can’t take a break to relax because your home is a mess? Go easy on yourself and only do the bare minimum—if you skip dusting every single piece of furniture for one week, no one else is going to notice. Better still, ask your spouse or a roommate if they can handle the cleaning. Maybe they won’t do as good of a job as you would, but sometimes we have to be willing to sacrifice satisfying our own high standards for being able to take a break and let someone else handle things for a change.

Your Work World

The same thing goes for work—if you have too many projects on your plate, figure out which ones are the least complicated or important, and ask another coworker to help take on some of the other work. This kind of delegating is so important in the workplace. You can’t delegate everything, or you will look lazy and risk angering your coworkers and possibly getting fired. Yet you should delegate some work to others when you’ve got too much to handle.

Never be afraid to tell your boss that you can’t take on something new, as long as you have a big enough workload to back up your claim of being too busy. It’s important to also point out that you’re worried your work quality might suffer if you’re spread too thin—that shows your boss that you want to make sure you’re only turning out work that’s impeccable.

Your Social World

Sometimes you need to turn down some of those benign requests and offers, too, like the party invitation mentioned previously. Your friends will understand if you can’t make every single party or movie night. Sometimes you’re just too tired or too busy in other parts of your life. Just make sure that you’re there for the big stuff, like your best friends’ weddings and birthday parties, as long as you’re able to be in town for them.

If you’re there for your friends during the truly important events or the really tough times in their life, like when they need a shoulder to cry on after an awful breakup or death in the family, they won’t get their feelings hurt when you turn down an invite to girls’/guys’ night because you’ve worked a sixty hour week.

With friends and significant others, in fact, it can be a little easier to determine what demands a yes and what can be said no to—just ask yourself how you’d feel if the situation was reversed and they turned you down.

How To Determine “Yes” Or “No”

Ultimately, the best way to determine whether you should agree to something or not is to ask yourself whether it’s truly important. Will saying no jeopardize your job or your relationship with the person who is asking? If not, is it something that someone else can handle while you handle other, more important issues or projects?

Is it something that you can make up for later? For instance, if you turn down an invite to grab dinner with a friend this week, can you take them out to dinner the following week instead? If you can’t handle another project right now, can you assure your boss that you’ll take on the next project once your current project is completed in a few days?

Learn to ask yourself these sorts of questions before you reply to a request, and you’ll be far more likely to give the right answer. That means you’ll eliminate the unnecessary obligations in your life, have more time to focus on the important stuff, and end up leading a more balanced existence.

We’ve all had goals that we wanted to accomplish at one point or another. They might be something big, like going to graduate school or buying a house, or something adventurous, like spending a month traveling the globe. They can be long term goals like saving a certain amount of money to retire on, or short term goals, like losing ten pounds before swimsuit season arrives. Regardless of size, they’re meaningless without a plan to achieve them.

So just what turns something from an idea or vague future plan into a specific goal to work toward? First and foremost, you can’t just say “someday I’d like to learn a foreign language.” Instead, you have to put a timeline on it. That means deciding that you want to learn to speak Spanish within the next five years, and then figuring out when you need to start taking lessons in order to fulfill your goal within that time frame.

Be Specific

The key to setting goals is being as specific as possible, from setting a start and end date, to defining exactly what you want to do. Don’t just decide you want to move to a new city eventually; flesh the idea out and decide that you want to move to a specific location, like Portland, Oregon, within the next two years. Then write down your goal and come up with a plan to achieve it.

In order to achieve your main goal, you need to set up a plan containing mini-goals. For instance, if you want to lose twenty pounds within the next six months, set sub-goals along the way to lose four or five pounds per month. Then set a goal to research diet and workout plans over the next week.

After you’ve finished your research, set mini-goals to workout at least four times a week, to eat more vegetables and less red meat, etc.

Of course, this works for pretty much any kind of goal you’re working toward. Once you’ve settled on a big goal, the initial stage should always involve setting smaller goals (or milestones) and doing research to help figure out how best to reach your goal.

Are you trying to save enough money to travel to Europe two summers from now? Research various savings accounts’ interest rates so that you can pick the highest-yielding option. Read travel guides and websites to get an idea of which cities you’ll want to visit and what hotels or hostels you want to stay in, how much airline tickets and rail fares will cost, etc. Then you can estimate the amount of money you’ll need to save to reach your goal. After the research is done, you can set mini goals to set aside a certain amount of your earnings every pay period in the savings account.

Ask For Help

Finally, never be afraid to ask for help and advice. Do you have a friend or relative who has achieved a goal similar to yours? Ask them for tips! This is especially worthwhile if your goal is life changing and involves something financial, like saving to retire or buy a house, or something related to career advancement or education, like learning a language, going back to grad school, or working toward a promotion or new job.

People who have been there before can give you helpful strategies for realizing your specific goal. So utilize all the information sources you can get your hands on, from your successful coworker or thrifty parents to the internet and your local library. Then draft up a plan and stick to it—you’ll be celebrating your achievements in no time.

In fact, the following are ten of the many ways that these practices can help you increase your inner strength. Yoga and meditation can:

Increase Your Physical Strength

Seeing and feeling the results of your yoga practice—from increased flexibility and muscular strength to having a leaner, more toned appearance—will make you feel strong on the inside, too. You’ll feel more confident in everything you do, because you look and feel great!

Teach You Patience, Even In Difficult Situations

When you’re holding a tough yoga pose or really need to scratch an itch while meditating, it can take tremendous patience not to move too soon. Increasing your patience in these instances will carry over to your ability to take a deep breath and remain patient during all those tough times when life keeps you waiting.

Help You To Better Understand Your Body

Yoga and meditation put you in touch with your body. Before you know it, you’ll realize that, say, tensing up your shoulders is your body’s way of saying that you’re getting too stressed out. Understanding cues like that can help you see when you’re starting to get stressed, angry, sad, etc., so you can better combat your negative feelings.

Get You More In Touch With Your Thoughts And Emotions

These practices, particularly meditation, can teach you to tune into your thoughts and feelings in a way that will help you better understand the “why” of your actions. Do you overeat when you’re stressed? Blow your top at the drop of a hat when you’re overworked? Some introspection can help you work toward changing these bad habits.

Give You Peace, Even On Difficult Days

If you can fit in a mere half hour of yoga or just ten minutes of meditation somewhere in your day, it can give you something relaxing to anticipate. Thinking about your impending “me time” can help get you through a miserable day at work or a rough patch in your personal life.

Bring More Balance To Your Life

Yoga and meditation do this both literally—through balancing postures like Tree Pose— and emotionally—through an increased ability to manage stress and unhappiness.

Teach You To Slow Down In A Fast Paced World

People are working longer hours and taking less vacation time thanks to the tough economy. Moms and dads are stretched thin between their careers, their parenting obligations, and just trying to find time for date night. Putting everything on hold for even a brief yoga class or meditation session is a great reminder that we all have to take time out for ourselves and just slow down.

Show You How Consistency And Determination Will Improve Your Life

Routinely practice yoga, and you’ll be able to lean further into every stretch as time progresses; routinely put in time toward achieving another goal in your life, and you’ll get closer and closer to realizing that goal.

Lift Your Mood

The exercise aspect of yoga and the relaxing practice of meditation can increase your endorphin levels, which helps to elevate your mood. Happier people are healthier people, which means you take fewer sick days from your job and are generally more of a go-getter. Not only will you find yourself accomplishing more, but your good mood will win over your friends, co-workers, and more—all things that lead to success.

Force You To Unplug And Focus On Yourself

You can’t check Facebook on your laptop while you’re in Downward-Facing Dog, and you can’t answer your cell phone while you’re meditating in a Half Lotus. Instead, yoga and meditation make you focus on yourself, your mind, and your body. Being more in touch with your self is a huge step toward developing increased inner strength.

You couldn’t keep it from happening, and, in fact, you couldn’t even see it coming. That’s why it’s important to develop strong stress management skills. If you can make good use of the techniques found here, you can greatly reduce your stress levels, no matter what the situation.

Breathe!

The first and perhaps easiest way to reduce your stress is to breathe. Yes, just breathe, but not as you would normally or thoughtlessly. As you feel yourself becoming stressed and anxious, pause and take a slow, deep breath inward. Then let it out just as slowly. Don’t think about anything else; just focus on the in and out of your breathing. It might even help to close your eyes when you do this. Roll your shoulders a few times to help relax them.

Try doing this for ten counts, thinking a number in your mind each time you breathe in and thinking the word “out” when you exhale (i.e. “one, out, two, out, three , out, etc.). The counting will take your mind off of everything else and bring your focus back to your body and your physical wellbeing.

What you may not even realize is that being mentally stressed out exacts physical stress on your body. Your shoulders and jaw may become tense, you may slump further and further forward at your desk, etc., without even being aware of it. Doing this simple breathing exercise forces you to relax your body, and that helps you to relax your mind. Understanding the physical signs of stress that present in your body when you’re stressed out, and then knowing how to properly address them, will help greatly with stress management.

Take A Break

Taking a brief break from whatever you’re doing can also be helpful. This doesn’t just apply to work, but can also apply to stressful problems in your personal life. Let’s say you’re in charge of Thanksgiving dinner this year, and you’ve got a day full of cooking and dealing with guests on your plate. Try to find a few fifteen minute intervals to walk away from the insanity. Step outside for a quick walk around the block in between turkey basting intervals. Thirty minutes before your guests start showing up, sit down and read a chapter in a book or an article or two online.

Little breaks help refresh you. Anything that involves movement, like walking or stretching, gets the blood flowing and energizes you. Activities like reading or watching a few funny videos online will lift your spirits and take your mind off of the stressful situation at hand.

Listen To Music

Another thing that can help is listening to music, which can even be done while you’re in the midst of the stressful activity. Are you freaking out about having to write a big term paper or put together a report for work? Pop on a pair of headphones and listen to some of your favorite music while you work—you’re bound to feel more relaxed and happy as a result.

Ask For Help

Finally, never underestimate the power of asking for help, particularly when you’ve bitten off more than you can chew. Having a spouse play sous chef or assist you in cleaning before a dinner party can help you stick to your schedule, which prevents the added stress of being late. Enlisting a coworker to help with an overwhelming project can keep you from falling apart at work.

Have A Good Support Network

Plus, seeing your significant other, friends, coworkers, and/or family members come to the rescue for you is a wonderful reminder that you’re not alone in the world. There’s not much that’s more stressful than feeling like you have to solve all of your problems on your own. Leaning on your support system now and again can be a fantastic stress management technique.

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So can words be really good or bad?

We’re really, as society, very hypocritical on the subject. We always say “it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.” But really, that’s B.S. We teach people that curse words are bad. For example, you can’t drop an “F bomb” in church, or on YouTube. You can’t say “oh f*ck!” You can, of course, say “oh crap!” or “oh fudge!”

I mean, really, are we still trying to pretend there’s any difference here? Because there isn’t. The words, are of course, different, but the INTENTION is exactly the same. Both words have exactly the same emotions, thoughts and feelings behind them. In that respect, they’re completely identical, in terms of content that is.

If you use the “F word” and you’re angry, it’s bad. But if you use it during sex, it’s good. Heck, if you don’t look at your man and say “F me harder daddy!!” then it’s probably not going to be much fun for him. Same word, two completely different contexts, and very different levels of happiness!

We would argue that it it’s time to get rid of all the hypocrisy surrounding words.

Sticks and stones will break your bones, but words can cause lingering damage that never really heals. It’s not just an issue of political correctness any more. In the old days, if someone called you names on the playground you had a fight. These days if someone does that you snap and grab an assault rifle.

Emotion and intention is the real issue in terms of language.

“Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.”
– George Carlin, Inspirational Quotes from Today Is That Day

George Carlin is famous in large part due to his “seven ‘dirty’ words you can’t say on television” routine. The basis of said routine is the hypocrisy surrounding language, as if just the words themselves cause the damage.

Yet anyone who’s ever watched C-SPAN can see how our elected officials have taken curse-free hate-speech to the level of fine art. They never call each other any dirty word, yet what they say, if you actually take the time to listen to it, is far more offensive than any “F bomb”.

So going forward, be really of your speech patterns as well as your internal dialogue.

One interesting thing to do is simply take an inventory. For a week or so, write down every emotion you feel when you say something. Do this consistently and you can start to see a pattern. Are you always happy? Sad? Depressed? Overjoyed? You think you know, but do you really? Not until you see it all there in black and white. It’s kind of tedious to do, we admit, but just do it. You’ll be glad you did. We promise. Seriously. You believe us, right? Who wouldn’t trust these faces?

And don’t forget to check out our other articles and videos here on Today is Today Is That Day! TodayIsThatDay.com is your one stop shop for inspirational videos, quotes and articles! Everything you need to make the life of your dreams a reality! Thanks for reading!

It is hard to avoid the triggers for our bad food cravings – we all experience stress and boredom and mood swings. But remaining a slave to these bad food cravings is not inevitable. We have found a way to minimize or eliminate the bad food cravings all together. Best of all, we have given up nothing and do not feel as if we are depriving ourselves of anything.

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Start The Day Off Right

We’ve all heard the old stories about eating a good breakfast – but what does that really mean? The answer is different for each of us. Some people operate better when they eat some heavy carbs or protein in the morning and others, like Dan and I operate better when we start the morning off with juice and then gradually work our way up to the heavier foods as the day progresses. The important things is that what ever you put in your body in the morning, it should be healthy fuel for your body. A simple rule of thumb is to stick to food that is as close to nature as possible and pay attention to how you feel 20-30 minutes after you eat. If you feel sluggish and tired, that means that you either ate too much or it was the wrong type of food for your body.

You Do Not Have To Give Anything Up

One of the best ways we have found to start the day off right and eliminate bad food cravings later on?  We have a green juice or green smoothie for breakfast every single morning. That’s right. We invested in a juicing machine over a year ago and have been juicing ever since. We gave up nothing, but added healthful green foods through juicing. We did this every single morning and over the period of a few months, we just did not want to eat bad food any more. The best part: we didn’t intentionally plan on giving up our favorite bad food! Somehow, the effect of green juicing has reduced the craving for bad food. We just don’t seem to crave the ice cream and nachos anymore.  

Why Green Foods Reduce the Craving for Bad Foods

How can drinking a green juice or a green smoothie in the morning reduce the craving for bad food? We all know that green foods like spinach and kale are nutritionally dense. Juicing provides a huge amount of nutrients in one small delicious glass. It could be that the nutrients in green foods make us feel nutritionally satisfied. As a result, our bodies no longer constantly crave bad food for purposes of refueling. Starting off the day with a green juice or a green smoothie certainly seems to provide a steady source of energy over a longer period of time. We no longer experience the huge spikes in blood sugar levels followed by the devastating crash. As a result of drinking green foods, we have more energy to exercise and engage in the other projects we love. Drinking green foods helped us break the vicious cycle of desperate craving for bad food naturally and with very little effort.  Over time, the practice of juicing simply became a lifestyle habit that has made a huge positive difference in our lives.

You can click on “Resources” on our website for delicious recipes for green juice and green smoothies.

Try having a green juice or green smoothie every morning for 30 days and see how you feel! Let us know your experience with green foods.

Probably the most important consideration to remember when buying a juicer is that you are going to use your juicer every day or almost every day. Why? Because the enzyme activity in freshly extracted juice decreases very, very quickly. Ideally, it is best to drink your juice within 15 minutes of juicing. That way, you obtain the maximum vitamin, mineral and anti-oxidant properties that juicing can provide. Keeping in mind that you will want to use your juicer every day, here is a brief overview of what you want to look for when buying a juicer.

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Considerations When Buying A Juicer

The main consideration in buying a juicer is SIMPLE. Get something simple and convenient that you will actually use. The best juicer in the world will do you no good if it sits in the corner gathering dust. You do not want a juicer that is too complicated, cumbersome, or requires time-consuming clean-up. You are looking for ease of assembly, minimal chopping of fruits and vegetables, and easy clean-up. Make sure you buy a juicer that fits into your lifestyle – and fits into your kitchen.  A gargantuan juicer with dozens of parts that need to be scrubbed and oiled daily does not promote ease of use. Pick a juicer that can be disassembled easily and is dishwasher-safe. You will also want a juicer with a large enough mouth to accomodate fruits and vegetables.

Another consideration in choosing a juicer is noise level. Basically, the more powerful the motor, the more noisy a juicer will be.  Unless your goal is to wake up the entire household with your 6 a.m. juicing, choosing a less powerful juicer will probably more than adequately meet your juicing needs and your housemates will thank you for not turning their living space into what sounds like a demolition site.

Of course, price is an important consideration in buying a juicer. Prices of juicers vary widely – from under $100 to over $500 and higher – depending on the available features. To start out, choose a juicer that is affordable for you. And make sure you read the warranty! Warranties can range from a few months to a decade to a lifetime. You are looking for a long-lasting warranty that covers the entire machine.

Below are a few examples of some popluar juicers and their features to help give you an idea of what is on the market today:

Breville Juicer Juice Fountain

The Breville Juice Fountain Professional is the juicer we have used for about a year.  It is simple – easy to use and easy to clean. The juicer is designed to conserve counterspace. It has a large mouth that accomodates larger fruits and vegetables. We paid about $150 for our Breville Juicer Juice Fountain, but you can find one on the internet for $109 plus free shipping.  It has a powerful motor and comes with a one-year warranty.

Jack LaLanne Power Juicer Express

Jack LaLanne is perhaps the world’s most famous body builder. He is is over 95 years old and credits exercise and juicing as the key to his long life.  Jack LaLanne has been selling his juicers for years on television and on the internet. We found a “Buy One Get One Free” offer on his website: buy one Jack LaLanne Power Juicer Express for $89.97 and get the second free with additional shipping and handling. This juicer looks very compact and the motor is less powerful than the Breville juicer. The parts are dishwasher safe for easy cleanup. It comes with a 60-day money back guaranty. According to the website, the “whisper quiet” motor comes with a lifetime warranty.

Omega Vert

The Omega Vert has the highest price tag of the three juicers we looked at. At $349, the Omega Vert has an electric induction motor and fewer moving parts than most juicers. In theory, this means the motor is less likely to burn out than other juicers. The Omega Vert has been built the same way for the past several decades, seemingly attesting to its quality design. The Omega Vert has a self-cleaning feature using water that keeps the juicer from becoming clogged. It comes with a 10-year warranty on the blade parts.

A good way to check out a variety of juicers is to view instructional videos on the internet. This way you can compare different juicers side by side.

Again, the one we use is the Breville Juice Fountain Professional. It works fine and cleanup is easy, so we recommend it.

We all know we should eat more fruits and vegetables. But most people have neither the time nor the desire to eat plates and plates of fruits and vegetables everyday! 

Juicing is a simple way to get all the benefits from a variety of fruits and vegetables in one small, delicious glass.

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What Is Juicing?

Juicing is extracting the good stuff – the vitamins, minerals, nutrients and water – from plants using a juicing machine.  

The benefits of juicing are almost too numerous to list. Below are just some great reasons to juice:

• Juicing at home is relatively cost-effective. Instead of paying over $4 for a small bottle of juice at a health food store, once you have purchased your juicer, you can juice your own healthful blends for just pennies a serving. 
• Juicing is an excellent way to get the recommended daily servings of fruits and vegetables. The USDA currently recommends five cups of fruits and vegetables daily for a 2200 calorie diet (the average man’s diet), and four cups daily for a 1800 calorie diet (the average woman’s diet.) 
• Juicing enables you to obtain the vitamins, minerals and nutrients required for optimal health, vitality and functioning.  Fruits and vegetables have long been known to prevent and cure certain diseases such as cancer, diabetes, heart disease, arthritis, allergies and certain mood disorders. 
• Eating freshly juiced raw fruits and vegetables allows you to digest and absorb a greater amount of beneficial nutrients. The juicing process breaks down cell walls for faster digestion, and  nutrients are not destroyed by heat or other processing. 
• Anti-oxidants contained in fruits and vegetables have an anti-aging effect for younger looking skin, hair and nails. 
• Eating a greater proportion of fruits and vegetables every day helps you lose those love handles and maintain a healthy weight.  
• Juicing is a fun and creative way to do something good for yourself and your family. You can go even greener by planting a garden and picking your favorite fresh and organic fruits and vegetables everyday!

Open Your Own Juice Bar Today

Literally hundreds of different fruit and vegetable juices are possible. In practice, the number and type of juice combinations are only limited by your own preferences. The one rule of thumb: only blend fruits with fruits and vegetables with vegetables. The exception to the rule is that you can blend apples with vegetables. Apples are sweet and taste great with vegetables. (Pushing an apple through the juicer also helps to push through a softer fruit or vegetable that may not have completely cleared the machine.)  You do want to thoroughly wash your hands and all fruits and vegetables prior to juicing. Remove any stems, pits and seeds. Orange rinds are nasty tasting, so remove those, too. Cut larger fruits and vegetables into chunks that your juicer can easily accomodate.   

A delicious tasting, simple base recipe is to juice one medium apple with two medium carrots. You can experiment with just about any fruit or vegetable you like. Green vegetables like kale and spinach can be bitter, so add those sparingly at first until you have acquired the taste. Parsley, garlic and ginger are more exotic flavors you can add when you’re feeling a little more daring. Keep watching our videos for some of our favorite juicing recipes. 

Try this experiment:  try juicing by drinking one glass of fresh juice a day for 30 days, and see how much better you feel! 

Important Note: you should consult with your doctor before embarking on your juicing journey.

Historically speaking,  ALL change has given humans  the opportunity to adapt and evolve  -  over tens of thousands of years  -  into who we are today. Sometimes the smallest, seemingly most insignificant changes have enabled humans to eventually make giant evolutionary leaps.

On both a collective and individual level, we create the change necessary to achieve our dreams. Yet even when change is desireable, we find that change is not always easy. . . .

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Why Most People Fail To Achieve Their Dreams

Most people fail to achieve their dreams because their dreams are TOO BIG. Deciding to lose 50 pounds. Getting a college degree.  Owning a successful business. Those are all pretty tall orders.  Just thinking about the enormity of those big dreams can cause some people to psych themselves out. They see the entire mile of road stretched out in front of them. Their dream seems too far away, too distant to achieve. They become daunted and disheartened and give up before they start. Supersizing your dreams can have the unintended effect of preventing desireable change.

Inch By Inch Life Is A Cinch

Remember when you were young and just learning to ride a bicycle? You weren’t popping wheelies the first day! You probably started out riding a little red tricycle. Then, when you got your first Big Kid bike, you rode around with training wheels for a few months. After the training wheels came off, dad steadied your bike until you learned to balance on your own. Little by little, you gained the confidence and the skills to perform fancy tricks – like riding with no hands . . . .  Okay, maybe not. The point is, you eventually achieved your goal by taking small steps and practicing every day. The same principle you used as a child applies to achieving your dreams today. Take baby steps. Small, achievable steps in the direction of your dream are easy to make. For example, instead of telling yourself that you have to lose 50 pounds, begin your commitment to a healthy lifestyle by adding a salad before every meal. Take a single night class to start working toward your college degree. Get to know the business you want to eventually own by starting in an entry-level position and working your way up. Doing one little thing at a time can turn that Mount Everest into a bunny slope. The Bonus: when you succeed at small things, your confidence builds, making it even EASIER to change your life!

Rewire Your Brain

The only way to make these little changes stick is to rewire your brain. You need to untrain your brain from its old habits, and retrain your brain for change.  But remember, old habits die hard! The best method for rewiring your brain is to practice, practice, practice. Practice your little step in the direction of your dream every single day for 30 days. This is how long it takes for changes to become wired into your brain. And you have to be disciplined. The 30 days have to be consecutive. No Fair Cheating! If you skip a day, you short-circuit your attempts at rewiring your brain. Be patient with yourself and with the process. You can make a decision at the end of the 30 days whether to commit to this change, if you believe the change has been positive. Finally, try this Experiment:  Make one small positive change that brings you closer to your goal every 30 days. Do this for one year. At the end of the year, look back and see how much your life has changed for the better!

What one little thing are you going to change? Let us know!

Sadly, we forget about the most important person in the world. We forget about ouselves. We forget about Me. Before we know it, we have run out of steam. Life becomes a habit and a chore and not the joy it was meant to be.

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line.  You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.”  - Lucille Ball

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Me Time

“Me Time” is the time you take to take care of yourself. It is the time you take to escape from the pressures of everyday life, to enjoy yourself, to make yourself whole. Ideally, Me Time is something you do everyday, maybe even several times a day. Me Time is anything that helps you relax and feel good about yourself. Me Time enables you to Love Yourself First.

Make Yourself Happy First

We all want our loved ones to be happy and to please our boss. But no one can give 100% if they are tired, worn out and overwhelmed. Me Time is so important because we cannot make others happy unless we are happy, first. Me Time recharges our battery and allows us to quietly focus our attention on what is really important. We become calm and centered and better able to deal with the everyday bumps along the road of life. As a result, we are able to give more of ourselves to others. Me Time is an investment in yourself, for yourself. And the dividends pay off big! The beneficiaries include our family, friends, co-workers and community at large. Have you ever noticed how when you smile at a stranger, their face lights up in a smile as well? People just seem to respond better to someone who is genuinely happy.

How To Take Care Of You

There are so many things you can do for yourself everyday to  make yourself happy. Enjoy a quiet cup of coffee in the morning before everyone else wakes up. Do some yoga stretches to improve your strength, flexibility and mental focus. Take a walk outside during lunch or go to the gym. Download music or audiobooks to enjoy during your commute. Meditate while gardening.  Play fetch with your favorite pooch. Once a month, you can splurge and treat yourself to something really special. Visit your local spa for a massage or a pedicure. If you enjoy the arts, purchase a season ticket for the symphony or a membership at the arts museum. Sports fans can do the same to cheer on their favorite team. If you’re saying to yourself right now “No, I really don’t have the time or the money to do something like that!,” remember that this as an investment in yourself. You are worth it!

What Me Time activity do you do to make yourself happy? Let us know!

Some people really do put their lives on hold, waiting to live the life of their dreams.  True happiness eludes them.  And so, some people discover, too late, that life has passed them by.  You can live the life of your dreams – not next year or in five years - but Today!

The amazing part is, living your dreams today does not require wealth, connections, or a genius IQ.  It’s fun, it’s free and it’s right here, right now!

“The best way to live the life of your dreams is to start living the life of your dreams Today, in every little way that you possibly can.”
– Mike Dooley, Inspirational Quotes from Today Is That Day

Click here to view the embedded video.

Don’t Ruminate About The Past Or Dream Of The Perfect Future

Some people become mired in the past, thinking about regrets or missed opportunities.  They believe their dreams would have come true if only they had finished college or if only they had come from a wealthy family.  Others wait to really live their lives until they have achieved their goals.  They dream of how perfect life will be sometime in the future.  They believe they will be happy as soon as they buy that house, or as soon as they find Mr. Right.  Living in the past or idealizing the future only prevents you from living life in the present.  When you focus on the past or the future, you fail to enjoy the Now.  Forget the past and don’t worry about the future.  As Master Oogway once told Po, the panda, in Kung Fu Panda:

“Quit, don’t quit.  Noodles, don’t noodles. You are too concerned about what was and what will be.  There is a saying:  yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery,  but today is a gift.  That is why it is called the ‘present.’ “

Live Life In The Present

Enjoy life by living in the present.  Don’t wait to start enjoying your life  someday – Today is that Day!   Start living a part of your dreams now.  You can do this by doing little things everyday that make you feel as if you are already living your dream.  Enjoy a cup of coffee in that luxury hotel in which you’ve dreamed of staying.  Go to the dealership and sit in the Mercedes you want to buy.  Buy the outfit that makes you feel like a top executive.   Save money every day so that you can literally visualize your Financial Freedom.  When you start doing little things like this every day, you will feel as if you are presently living your dream.  You will begin to feel the abundance of living in the present.  You will feel the great feeling of gratitude for what you have now.   Living in the present will help you live the life of your dreams now.

Live Your Dreams Now

You don’t have to live your life thinking you would be happy “if only”  your dreams would come true.  When you visualize yourself living your dreams everyday and take every small step possible toward actualizing your dreams every single day, you will be living your dreams now.  You will enjoy the experience of staying in the luxury hotel.  You will feel as great as if you really owned that Mercedes.  You will feel as confident as a top executive.    You will watch your money grow and enjoy the feeling of Financial Freedom.  Living your dreams - now and everyday – is the best and quickest way to live the life of your dreams.  Give yourself the gift of the present by starting to live your dreams today.

What do you do everyday to live your dreams?  Let us know!

Yesterday morning, however, was different. Gratitude was replaced by anxiety as I counted up my sleep and decided it was enough. I stopped only briefly to ask my husband in passing whether he’d slept well. In retrospect, I was feeding the wrong wolf, but there I went, wandering further in the wrong direction.

I started worrying about time, and specifically lack of it. Check-in for our flight was at 8:00, it was now nearly 6:30, and I stood in my pajamas wondering if the weather was going to be a problem. Heavy rains were just starting, and were scheduled to get even heavier. As I started getting ready, I pictured every kind of weather-related plane disaster imaginable.

Is Anxiety Controlling You?

When we got to the airport, there were no delays, which I thought was a good sign. In the plane, I was glad to find a place to stow my bag, and then the anxiety started creeping back into my thoughts. Get out of the aisle, you’re in the way, the chances of you and David dying together in a plane crash are infinitesimal. The thought comforted me in an odd way. I went further with my theories: I’ve known two people who died on planes, so the chances of it happening to me as well are pretty much non-existent. But there’s always terrorism. Could any of these people be carrying a weapon?

I had to step in and intervene in this line of thought. The way I was going, toward total insanity and paranoia, was neither helpful nor enjoyable. I reminded myself that every time I’ve ever taken a flight, I do this same thing – I look for ways that things could end in death, and guess what? I’m still alive.

I decided to lay down the law with myself. I could either spend the rest of my life avoiding flying and worrying about terrorists, or I could just accept the great Divine that is God, and that I have a purpose on the earth that I am here to fulfill. When that mission is over, it’s over, and no amount of anxiety or stress is going to affect that. Admitting that to myself, hearing that truth in my head, allowed me to relax and enjoy the rest of the journey.

Overcoming Anxiety And Fear

This is a far cry from how I was in earlier years, not even able to venture out of my house, much less get on an airplane. Without medication, it was a certainly a struggle to heal my anxiety disorder, but now, on the plane, I could enjoy the luxury of feeling pleased with how far I’ve come.

I’d like to take a moment to tell another old story. There was a Shaman who, on the night of each full moon, would sit with the village children and recount the story of the white wolf and the dark wolf. These were two wolves who had been adversaries since the dawn of time. The white wolf thrives on truth, kindness, and love. The dark wolf, on the other hand, gains his strength from hatred, fear, and lies. The two wolves would battle again and again, and each time the children heard the story, they would ask which wolf wins in the end. The shaman’s answer was simple: “The wolf that wins is the one you feed!” And so it is.

My time here at Today is that Day has been nothing less than wonderful, and I am very glad that the blog posts and other content from the site will most likely still remain available even after the new owners get done moving things around. The community that has been built around this site is the most empowering and uplifting group of people that I have ever been exposed to, and I am grateful that via the power of the Internet, I will still be able to interact with many of you.

My own life has changed drastically over the last year, and all of the changes have been for the best! I got married to my wonderful new wife, Shanna, and we live on the east coast of Florida which is a dream come true for both of us. I have rejoined the U.S. Military as an Air National Guard soldier, and I will spend 6 months at Keesler Air Force Base in Mississippi during 2009 learning all sorts of cool, high-tech stuff. My military affiliation will be financing a full-time college education that will also be in the high-tech arena. In addition, I have finally launched the incredible health & fitness website: Surfside Fitness, which is a project that I have been working on for more than 6 months. The result of that work is a beautiful new site that will be an awesome resource for a great many people.

Surfside Fitness is where I will be spending most of my online time, and with major props once again being given to my incredible designer, Jason Larose, I am looking forward to helping thousands of people to attain high levels of health and fitness via that site. I got it completed just in time for the fresh start that 2009 will bring for all of us!

Surfside Fitness is more than just a website and blog, however. The site comes complete with:

• A full suite of services including Fitness Consulting, Online Fitness Training, Program Evaluation, and lots more
• A fitness blog that will be updated several times each week, and a plan is already in place to ensure not only frequent updates, but very high quality health and fitness content as well
• A free health and fitness community that is simple to use, yet packed with tons of features like personal blogs, video uploads, picture uploads, groups, forums, and more
• Frequently updated videos and featured products that will be more than just a stale rotation of old content. The video and product updates will be coming straight from the cutting edge of the health and fitness arena

Since my primary goal with Today is that Day has always been to empower people to believe that they can take control over their lives and build those lives to be wonderful, I want to leave with a parting message:

Never, ever, EVER GIVE UP!

For my wife and I, 2008 has been one of the hardest years of our lives. We have had every imaginable difficulty, and some difficulties that you probably CAN’T imagine. To say that we had to struggle this year in order to get to where we are now would be a radical understatement.

We made it through the fire by sticking to our guns and staying focused on our goals!

There were no hand outs, no easy streets, no miracle cures, and no safety nets. We have had to fight, kick, scratch, and bite for every ounce of success that we have had, and if we had given up, then none of these wonderful things would have happened in our lives.

We sit poised on the brink of a new year that – although there will still be challenges – we are better armed from every conceivable level to achieve success than we have ever been in the past.

We got to this point by believing in ourselves, believing in each other, and keeping our eyes on the prize.

Stay focused on what you want, never give up reaching for it, and your success is guaranteed.

I’ll look forward to seeing you all out there wherever our paths cross again, and in the meantime, remember to always enjoy your life. If you’re not having fun, what’s the point??

The truth of the matter is that in order for change to occur – on both an individual scale, as well as a global scale – holding on to the way things “used to be” is a recipe for nothing but a modern-day remake of the same mistakes that we have already made in our lives, and on our planet.

If we want true, lasting change to occur, then we must realize that change means change, it does not mean wrapping the old life up in a new package and then presenting it again as if it’s all new. It’s like that ridiculous advertising slogan “New and Improved”. Something can’t be new AND improved – it has to be one or the other!

Nostalgia for Days gone By

One of the biggest reasons why people cling to their old patterns despite an innate need to move forward is nothing more complex than that wonderful emotion of nostalgia.

Our lives, no matter how hectic or chaotic they may be, are filled with “sweet spots” that are permanently ingrained in our memories and on our hearts. We remember “back when,” or “that time when,” or “how it used to be”.

Those memories and the emotions that they invoke are wonderful, and to forget or bury them would be nothing less than criminal. However, living from them is just as much of a crime! Your glory days from the past are just that – in the past. No matter how wonderful those days were, they are gone now, and you need to come to terms with that.

You should cherish your past, and learn from your past, and apply what your past has taught you, but your life will never move forward if you are hooked on “the good ol’ days”. Recognize your past for its positive aspects, utilize the contrast from the negative aspects as a marker for what to avoid in the future, and then let it all go.

Your past – no matter how powerful it may be – is gone. An exponentially more powerful and more glorious future, on the other hand, is nothing but a thought and a commitment away.

A Comfort Zone that needs to be Broken out Of

The other main reason why people tend to color their futures with the hues of their past is simply the fact that they are used to doing things that way.

I’m not talking about the standard self improvement dogma about getting outside of your comfort zone – we’ve all heard that one a thousand times. No, I am talking about the fact that people simply don’t do what it takes to create and maintain new habits that cause their lives to be significantly different than they have been in the past.

Each of us is guilty of it on some level or other, but we don’t realize our guilt because we are so used to doing things that way that it feels natural to us. Just because something feels natural does NOT mean that it should be a part of your life!

When I was a kid, I lived one quarter mile from a very busy set of railroad tracks. Those trains were very loud, and they came through many, many times every day and every night. After a few years, though, I stopped hearing them. They became such a natural background noise that I didn’t even consciously hear them anymore.

Just because I got used to living close to the train tracks does not mean that I would want to live there again!

Our ability to get used to something – even something challenging or difficult – does not automatically mean that we should make that thing a part of our lives. If our habits – no matter how steeped in antiquity they may be – do not take our lives in the direction that we want to go, then those habits need to fall by the wayside.

I have used the term “if nothing changes, then nothing changes” in so many of my writings that I have literally lost count. I don’t keep repeating it because it sounds cool, but rather because it is the truth of our existence.

The more things change, the more they stay the same? I call B.S.!! The more things change, the more they NEED to change.

Anything less is just a carbon copy that is getting more and more faded the more times you copy it.

If you’ve seen these posts before, then go ahead and revisit them – most of what I write is timeless. If you haven’t, then here is a chance to see some great content from the past that you missed the first time around. Enjoy!

• Everybody’s been the dog… – How do you turn science fiction into a lesson about your own infinite potential? Read the post to find out!
• 50 First Dates… - A life lesson about living in the moment learned from watching a very funny and entertaining movie with Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore.
• How was your Day? – How much difference can a single 24-hour day make in your long-term success? How about all of the difference in the world?
• Did you feel that Tapping? – For you die-hard people who think that having a plan is the “end all, be all” of success, this post might make you think twice about living by that philosophy.

Tools to Life is one of many online support groups that are out there, but I think their site offers a lot more than the average self help site. Rather than just being a huge cache of self improvement information, the Tools to Life system is actually a step-by-step and timed system where you are required to take action each day towards your goals.

It would be difficult to list each and every cool and useful aspect of the Tools to Life website in just one blog post, so instead I will highlight three of the separate areas of the site that you should definitely check out. Next, I will do a quick run through of the “toolbox,” which is the basic interface that gives you the daily information and tasks that you are required to read, watch, or take part in so you can stay on track.

1. For anyone who has ever considered life coaching as a possible part of their success system, you’ll definitely want to take a look at the life coaching support groups at Tools to Life. There are huge groups that are made up of thousands of members, and there are also smaller, more intimate groups that are created by the members themselves. When I was there, I counted over 150 separate groups, so there is something for everyone, not to mention the ability to create your own group as a Tools to Life member.
2. The self help programs that are offered at Tools to Life are the first step for all new members. There are three distinct modules, and you can choose one or more that fit into your own desire for growth. The three programs that they presently offer are: Tools to Life with Coach Steele, Tools To Optimal Health with Dr. Carlos Santo, and Quit Smoking Tools with Coach Steele. For whatever program(s) you choose, you will be given a separate daily toolbox to use in the attainment of the goals related to your program choice(s).
3. For those of you who seek inspirational motivation from the written word, you’ll get plenty of that in the articles section at Tools to Life. In addition to just reading articles, however, members of the site can also comment on the articles, and interact with each other in the comment section, much like on a blog post.

The Personal Toolbox – your home base at Tools to Life

Your toolbox is where you go through all of the daily processes that are related to whichever self help program(s) you choose when you first sign up. After choosing your program(s), you then electronically “sign” a personal commitment page where you set the intention to attain whatever your specific goals are. After signing your personal commitment page, you can then use the site’s interface to email yourself a copy of the commitment, and you can even email the commitment to others, inviting them to help keep you accountable and/or to join the site themselves.

Your personal toolbox is made up of individual “rooms” where you take part in various activities, usually on a daily basis. The toolbox is set up so that you start in the upper left-hand corner, and then you work your way around, going to each room and doing the activity contained in that room. You will have a separate toolbox for each of the programs that you are involved in.

There are multiple sections in your toolbox, including daily videos with lessons based on whatever program you are working on, daily audio and reading, and a daily checklist to make sure that you do not miss anything along the way.

The first thing that I want to share is Bob Doyle’s very cool (and free!) accountability program that is set to launch on July 20, 2008. It is called the Boundless Living Challenge, and after quite a bit of research into it, I have concluded that it is going to be the “kick in the butt” that so many people need from time to time – including myself!

The Boundless Living Challenge is basically a 45-day accountability program where people walk in, state their intention to get something done over a period of 45 days, and then they join a social networking community of others who have done the same thing. The end result is support, accountability, and the laser-focus that I have endlessly talked about on this blog as an absolutely critical success factor.

Add to all of that the fact that the Boundless Living Challenge does not cost a dime to join, yet offers thousands of dollars worth of very cool prizes to the people who make the most changes in their lives, and it quickly becomes something that is more than worth taking the time to check out.

I have already joined the challenge myself, as have hundreds of other people, and there are also still sponsorship opportunities available for anyone who has valuable prizes that they would like to donate in exchange for some extreme exposure during the challenge.

All in all, it looks like some great stuff, and I encourage you all to check it out, and to join up for some fun and goal attainment!

Next is a video post that I just put up over at Fitness Destinations. As I say in the post, I don’t talk about the Beachbody business opportunity very often, because I believe that people will ask about it when and if they are ready.

However, this video story about a 44-year old mother of 3 who not only “buffed out,” but also found a way to empower other busy moms in the process, was – in my opinion – too good not to share! Check out Suzy’s story by clicking the video link below, and realize that her shirt says it all for the moms and dads out there whose family responsibilities sometimes seem to run their lives!

And finally, I was recently the recipient of a very interesting type of evaluation called an Akashic Record Reading. I am not even going to try to explain exactly what it means, as I’ll leave that to experts like Akemi Gaines who did my reading for me.

In a nutshell, Akemi gives a deep “reading” of what has gone on in your recent as well as very distant past, and then she uses that information to formulate an understanding of where you are now vs. where you actually want to be. Once that understanding is in place, she then assigns “homework” that you can do in order to clear things that have been blocking you from certain successes in your life.

It is all very interesting, and although it may be a bit too “woo-woo” for some people, I do encourage you to at least check it out, and to ask Akemi any questions that you have about the process. Gaining knowledge of alternative ways of looking at our existence is always a good idea, and you may even learn something along the way!

OK, that’s it for now! Enjoy checking out these stops along the way in the self improvement neighborhood, and please do feel free to let me your questions or your comments!

It’s easy to say that we are working towards something, and we may even feel that we are making a serious effort, but our efforts – like anything else in life – can become a habit, and habits are not always effective. One of the key components to success is to only spend time on practices that produce the desired results.

Despite our best intentions, we often get into the habit of continually doing things that do not bring us the results that we want, yet we do not realize it until we have expended a lot of time and energy. A mental checklist – or even a physical checklist – can help us to stay on track daily, maximizing our results, and minimizing wasted time and effort.

There are numerous success systems that people use on their road to greatness, and it falls to each person to choose and utilize whatever systems work best for them. However, no matter what system you choose, if you don’t use it properly and consistently, you won’t get the results.

Here are several popular success systems, and tips on how you can make sure you are using them effectively.

Visualization

Visualizing is basically the act of seeing yourself as being successful before you actually attain whatever success you are looking for. Visualization has long been held as one of the most effective and simple to use success systems, yet people often do not get results because they visualize ineffectively, or they do not visualize often enough.

Effective visualization includes all of the following:

• Feeling like you are actually in that present moment, rather than feeling like that moment is in the future. Visualizations are always in the NOW.
• Feeling exactly how you are going to feel when that moment actually arrives. Don’t visualize a scene in your head as if looking at a painting or a picture. Make it real and make it enjoyable by feeling the feelings of actually being there.
• Having a sense of 100% confidence and expectation whenever you visualize. You are not visualizing something that you hope is going to happen, but rather something that you KNOW is going to happen.
• Visualizing frequently, preferably several times per day. The most effective times for visualization are when you are about to fall asleep at night, and when you first wake up in the morning. However, visualization can be done anytime, anywhere.

Recommended Resources: Vision Boards, Mind Movies

Affirmations

Affirmations are basically the act of saying something over and over again – in your head or out loud – in order to “reprogram” yourself so you can attain whatever it is that you are affirming for. Unfortunately, saying something to ourselves that isn’t yet true sounds like a lie, so it feels like a lie, and we end up not believing it, and thus not getting very much out of it.

Here are some ways to get the most out of your affirmations:

• Say your affirmations out loud. We are all proficient at saying things in our head, but if that hasn’t been working, bring those statements out into the “real world”. Not only does that make your affirmations more effective, but it also helps you to realize how you truly feel about whatever it is that you are saying.
• Say your affirmations in front of a mirror. Again, realizing how you feel about what you are affirming for will help you to overcome any self-limiting beliefs about it. Say it out loud and in front of a mirror so you can look yourself in the eyes when you do it. It’s hard to lie to someone straight to their face.
• Say your affirmations in the present tense. Again, just as with visualization, you are creating something NOW, not in the future. “I am so happy and grateful now that…” as opposed to “I will be so happy when…”
• Say your affirmations many times throughout the day. Affirmations work by programming your conscious mind as well as your subconscious mind, so don’t be afraid that you’ll “overdo it” by affirming too often.

Recommended Resources: BMindful, ThinkRightNow

Meditation

Meditation is probably one of the least understood success systems because – in essence – it means to just do nothing! You just sit there, and most meditative practices will have you not even thinking, let alone doing anything else. There are other types of meditation as well, yet all of them share the goal of having you free your mind so that it can let go of the day-to-day struggles, leaving you with clarity and peace of mind.

Clarity and peace of mind may not seem very valuable to someone who wants to be on the fast track to success, yet when you consider that 90%-95% of your life is controlled by your subconscious mind, the power of clarity and peace of mind becomes immediately apparent.

Here are some ways to get the most out of meditation:

• Make sure to let go of your thoughts when you meditate. If you are just sitting there thinking about all of your problems and all of the things that you have to do, you might as well just get up and go do them. You are not getting anything out of meditation if you are not letting go and letting your mind wander.
• Make sure to stay awake. Many people cannot stay comfortable is a sitting up position for long periods of time, so they lay down to meditate. Although there are some meditations that can be used as you fall asleep, most meditations are supposed to involve conscious awareness, which you obviously don’t have if you’re asleep.
• Meditate without having some definite purpose in mind, such as trying to think of a solution to a problem. Although meditating is an incredible way to resolve issues, if you give conscious thought to the problem during the meditation, all you are doing is engaging your conscious mind, rather than your subconscious mind. Instead, think of the issue that you want to solve very briefly before you meditate, release your attachment to finding a solution for it, and then start your meditation.
• Look for answers and clarity unexpectedly, rather than immediately following your meditation. Meditation helps your subconscious mind to achieve focus and to find solutions, and sometimes that happens quickly, while other times it will take longer. If you consciously try to “rush” your subconscious mind, you will potentially shut down the entire subconscious solution-finding process.

Recommended Resources: Meditation Music, Guided Meditations

Attitude

No success system in the world is going to help you if you don’t have your mind right. You can visualize, affirm, and meditate all d
ay long, but if you don’t have an attitude of confidence, success, and expectancy, you will meet with limited results. Your attitude creates the very reality that you walk through every day, so create an environment that ensures your success by keeping your mind and your emotions focused on success, rather than failure.

Here are some ways to get the most out of your own attitude:

• Check your attitude as soon as you get up to start your day. Our dreams and/or our memories from the previous day can carry over into the new day. If those are positive, uplifting, and confident memories or feelings, then go with it. If not, then release any negativity before programming yourself for a new day by using affirmations, visualizations, and meditations.
• Check your attitude frequently throughout the day. It’s easy to “fake it until you make it” when you don’t really feel like smiling or acting confident, but faking it will only get you so far. Negativity can creep back in without you even realizing it, so set reminders or cues to go off throughout the day that snap you back into a positive, confident mindset.
• Check your attitude after a negative situation. If you get into an argument with someone, get stuck in traffic, get a negative message or piece of mail, etc., it can be very easy to fall into a feeling of gloom and doom. People who succumb to those types of feelings are not the kind of people who produce success. If you just got mad, sad, frustrated, or upset by something, now is the perfect time to go back to those affirmations, visualizations, and meditations.

Recommended Resources: Positivity Space, Manifest a Miracle

Conclusion

Everyone wants whatever it is that they want out of life, but only a small percentage of the population are willing to consistently and effectively take action in order to get what they want.

If you have been struggling to attain your desires, why not pick a success system (or two or three), and consistently apply those systems over the long-term? You’ve got nothing to lose, and everything to gain!

Albert Einstein is quoted as saying “We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them” and that statement could not be more accurate. If your dream life is different than the life you are presently living, then you are going to have to make some changes, and those changes could be downright radical, and even uncomfortable. However, if I may tip the hat to another great quote (author unknown), “Do today what others won’t so you can do tomorrow what others can’t”.

As you look towards the life that you want to lead, you may very well have to also look at some radical or uncomfortable changes that need to occur in order for you to start living that life. The winds of change – as they continually blow across the sands of time – will sometimes rock your boat or get sand in your eye, and sometimes they will even knock you flat. Nonetheless, the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow is there waiting for all of those who do what it takes to power through and take hold of their dreams.

As is often the case here on the Today is that Day blog, my inspiration for blog posts comes from my very own life, and that is the case here as well. My own life is about to radically change (for the better!), yet at the same time, the tasks involved in creating that change are large and could easily be overwhelming if I didn’t know how to control those kinds of emotions.

So, rather than freak out and turn into a useless mass of blabbering inefficiency, I have instead come up with a great plan of action that – as indicated above – will require some radical changes on my part in order to make it all happen. In order to come up with that plan, I utilized a simple, 4-step challenge solving process:

1. Identify the Primary Goal – There are numerous factors that go into facing up to any challenge, but there is always one primary goal that will then fuel or enable the rest of the tasks. Find that one primary goal, and focus on that one thing, to the exclusion of everything else.
2. Assess what Resources you have Available – Often times money helps to grease the wheels of goal attainment, but you may still have to access other resources as well – possibly in order to get that money. Those resources could include your own skills, your experiences, your circle of influence, or even material possessions that might be part of the solution.
3. Find a way to use those Resources to attain the Primary Goal – Now is the time to think outside of the box. Remember, if nothing changes, then nothing changes. If you’re alive (and you are!), then you have something to offer that will help you to get what you want.
4. Refuse to accept Defeat as an Option – As long as you continue to hold onto some sort of safety net in case things don’t work out, those things WON’T work out, because you will always know in the back of your mind that if you fall (or fail), the net will catch you. DECIDE that you are going to get what you want, and COMMIT to getting it at all costs. Failure is NOT an option!

A Real Life Example:

In my case, the changes in question include moving to the east coast of Florida in order to start a very cool, very unique coastal fitness program. After almost 2 years of working almost exclusively from home, the winds of change now find me:

• Moving all the way to within walking distance of the beach from my present central Florida location
• Starting a company that will ultimately be incorporated, spreading my unique business idea all over the world
• Being available 3 or 4 times per day outside of my home to train clients
• Hiring, training, and managing employees, which is something that I have always managed to avoid in the past

Identify the Primary Goal - This entire business idea is predicated on living by the beach. As much as I love the beach, it’s not about sun-bathing and dolphin-watching, but rather utilizing the coastal community as the catalyst and the life-blood of the business. Moving to the beach is the Primary Goal. Without that, nothing else matters.

Assess my Available Resources - My personal development products, my social networking site, my skills and abilities, my fitness coaching site, and my circle of influence.

Use Resources to attain Primary Goal -

• Personal Development Products – My products have great value and quality, and I know that for a fact, so I don’t need to “convince” anyone to buy them. They all come with a money-back guarantee and email support from me, and they are all very reasonably priced. Using my products as part of solving this challenge is as simple as reminding people that they are worth checking out.
• Social Networking Site – Personal Development Partners is growing every day, and I have even started advertising it on Craigslist. I will continue to offer the lifetime membership option only until the end of June, so now is the time to take advantage of that. I also have just 3 Thought Leader positions left open, and those are the most coveted spots, so grab one now – they go fast. Again, using my site as part of solving this challenge is simply reminding people of the value that is available.
• Skills and Abilities – I have been encouraged by many people to help others with their blogs and/or to write for other people’s blogs. I very much enjoy creating content that people get value from, so I have decided to start offering my blogging and writing services for hire. This is far beyond anything that I have offered in the past, and that radical change is part of my challenge-solving process.
• Fitness Coaching Site – I have been writing at Fitness Destinations for more than 4 years (first as a website, and more recently as a blog), and it is chock full of a ton of really great information. Since I have gotten back into Fitness Coaching, I have been updating that site with product-specific posts at least a few times each week. That site is part of solving this challenge by me encouraging people to check it out, and to pay special attention to whether or not you see value in the P90X Reviews that I have been doing.
• Circle of Influence – In addition to this blog post encouraging people to check out all of the products and services that I offer, I am also going to simply ask for help! Regular readers at Today is that Day say that they love the site and the content, so here is your chance to prove it. If you would
  like to be a part of helping me rise to this huge challenge, you are welcome and encouraged to do any of the following:
  • Make a Donation – No donation is too small (or too large!). Since bloggers get paid for their writing, I am well within my rights to ask people to make a donation if they truly see value in my work.
  • Purchase a Product – As indicated above, my products rock, and they are worth every penny.
  • Join PDP – Personal Development Partners is a great site, and the members are helpful, friendly, and knowledgeable, not to mention the huge list of benefits that all paying members get immediate access to.
  • Hire Me – Check out the details on what I offer, and if I can be of service to you, then great. If not, then please let your own circle of influence know what I have to offer.
  • Purchase a Beachbody Product – Not only will you get me as your Team Beachbody Coach, but you’ll get a high quality product that is much more than worth it’s price.

Defeat is NOT an Option – This entire decision for me was based on my own desires vs. the resources and geography that are available where I live now. It is simply not possible for me to do what I want as long as I live here, and I have explored every conceivable option to determine that fact. If I am going to get what I want (and I am!!), then I do not even have the option of living where I live. It’s the coast or nothing!

Conclusion

If you’ll read carefully through the challenge-solving process, and then see how I applied that process to my own situation, you’ll see one very important fact:

The only thing that actually changed was how I presented or utilized the resources that were there all along!

I didn’t have to get more stuff, attain more skills, get a lucky break, or do anything that has not been in my control the entire time. All I did was identify the goal, take an assessment, apply my inventory of resources towards the issue, and then stubbornly refuse to accept anything less than success.

The end results? Well, at the time of this writing, that remains to be seen. However, if you want to see me lead by example by attaining this goal, then subscribe to my RSS feed to stay up to date. I’ll be moving to my new coastal residence within 60 days – guaranteed!

Somewhere along the line in history, human beings have lost track of the very real, very important, very self-centered fact that each of us is 100% responsible for our lives. Our happiness/sadness, wealth/poverty, vitality/ill health, opportunity/despondency – and any other polar opposites that you can imagine – are the responsible of exactly one person, and that is you.

No matter what your circumstances are in life, there is a way for you to create happiness and success out of those circumstances, because when all is said and done, one of the truths of existence is that each and and every one of us is the center of our own universe. Our thoughts, feelings, and actions create the very axis on which our entire existence spins, and that process is 100% within our control.

Yes, yes – I can hear your “insert excuse here” arguments already:

I was born this way, so I don’t have a choice. – How you were born or raised is completely irrelevant. As Jack Canfield says, “That’s the ‘so what’. The ‘what’ is what now?” You can live in the past, or you can create the future.

This health condition runs in my family. – For one, that doesn’t mean that you can’t take every conceivable step to ensure maximum health despite that condition. For two, that doesn’t mean that you can’t consciously will better health into your life. For three, that health condition is a circumstance of your life, not the definition of your life. Realize the difference and quit whining about it.

Other people are involved in whether or not this can happen. – No, you allow other people to be involved in whether or not something can happen. People only effect our lives to the extent that we allow them to affect our lives. No matter how much you perceive someone else as being a positive or a negative part of your life, their impact on your life is totally in your control. If someone else is making your life miserable, you’ve got no one to thank for it but yourself.

It’s out of my control. – In other words, you aren’t willing to take responsibility for it. Henry Ford used to tell his employees not to bring him problems, but instead to bring him solutions. If something is “out of your control,” all that means is that you haven’t found a way to take control of it. If you are not willing to find that way, then you’re right – it IS out of your control. How does that make you feel?

Whatever other excuses you can come up with, they all boil down to exactly the same thing:

That word “victim” is funny to me, because I think it should actually be elongated in order to more clearly demonstrate what being a “victim” is all about. Perhaps a vote on a better definition?

• Willing Participate
• Drama Lover
• Negativity Junkie
• Responsibility Avoider
• Blind Follower
• Commitment Challenged
• Selectively Ignorant

Oh, the list could go on and on, and no matter how long the list got, every phrase would describe the very same fact:

There are people who believe in and consistently act upon their ability to create wonderful lives for themselves, and there are people who realize how much easier it is to play the victim card, thus avoiding any real responsibility for their own happiness.

On that same note, there are people who will read this, and become empowered, and there are people who will immediately start coming up with reasons excuses about how these concepts don’t apply to their lives because ________________ (insert lame excuse here).

Do yourself a favor and ask yourself which type of person you are. Then do yourself an even bigger favor and give yourself an honest answer to that question.

If you’ve been a blind, drama-loving, commitment-challenged, selectively-ignorant, negatively-charged, willing avoider of responsibility, then just ask yourself one more question:

How’s that been working out for you?

It’s a classic irony of the human condition that our instincts drive us to expand and to grow, yet at the same time we enjoy comfort, security, and recognizable boundaries. However, those same comfortable boundaries quickly become a self-imposed prison unless we continue to improve ourselves in some way.

Unless you want to live the rest of your days in your safe little box, you’re going to have to learn how to push your own limits, thus opening yourself up to experience the growing pains that herald the victories of your future. Falling flat on your face is the quickest, most effective way to make you appreciate the simplicity of being able to stand up straight, and as unpleasant as the fall may be, you’ll stand up that much taller from that point on because you’ll have the memory of that contrast.

Visualize the end result and ONLY the end result

As most of my readers know, I am going through the 90-day P90X workout program right now, and how can I put this bluntly? It’s hard!

However, I have several goals that depend completely or in part on my success with that program, so whenever I am feeling weak (literally or figuratively!) I visualize the end result, and I focus on it fiercely with all of my will power. What I don’t do is think about how hard an exercise is, or about how much I don’t want to workout, or about how I have work on my computer that I want to do during my exercise time.

One of the workouts is a rather intense yoga routine that includes some very difficult abdominal exercises towards the end after you are wiped out from more than 70 minutes of yoga poses. The “no pain” route to take would be to drop to the floor, rest, and just give up. The “pain” route involves me visualizing the six-pack that I am building, and focusing only on that vision, to the exclusion of everything else – including the pain itself.

The “no pain” route is easy in the moment, and gives a fleeting, instant reward – the opportunity to rest. The “pain” route involves significant discomfort, and no immediate noticeable results, but the long-term rewards make the pain very much worth working through.

Think of it as growth, not as pain

Sure, whenever your heart is broken, your bank account is vacant, or you’re gasping for air while exercising, it’s kind of hard not to realize that pain. However, the trick to personal growth is not in avoiding growth opportunities, but rather in learning from them.

• If you don’t know the pain of a broken heart, then you also don’t know how to appreciate a loving and happy relationship.
• If you don’t know what it’s like to wonder if you’ll have enough money to pay your bills, then you don’t understand the value of the money and the resources that you have.
• If you don’t know what it feels like to be unhealthy, fat, or injured, then you don’t know how wonderful it feels to be the opposite of those things.

Rather than viewing your painful experiences as nothing but painful experiences, instead, be grateful for the contrast they show you that will then allow you to appreciate success in those areas that much more once you have attained it.

Once you have learned everything that you need to learn from being broken-hearted, poverty-stricken, or out of shape, then apply what you have learned so you can avoid that pain in the future.

Also, no matter how bad your pain is, it is there nonetheless. If you are going to be experiencing it anyway, wouldn’t it be better to get something good out of the deal?

Don’t forget to accept responsibility

The absolute shortest route that you can take towards reliving pain in your life that you didn’t like the first time around is to blame it all on someone else.

• My ex-husband/wife is a jerk
• My boss doesn’t care about my needs
• My kids won’t give me space
• My brother/sister/mother/father treats me bad
• My friends are holding me back
• My genetics keep me from succeeding
• My lifestyle forces me to live my life this way
• My schedule keeps me from exercising and eating right

Crap, crap, and more crap. YOU are the only person who is now – or ever has been – responsible for the pain that you experience in life. Here is a short and simple way to remember this:

If it happened to you, then you were a part of it.

You may not have directly asked for something negative to come your way, or to be injured, or to get fired, or to have a relationship end badly, but if you were there at all (and you were!), then you share in the responsibility of the negative circumstances that are now causing you pain.

If you keep blaming other people or the outside world for your pain, then you will simply be handing over the reigns of your life to other people or to the outside world. You will continue to experience pain that is allegedly because of other people until you learn to take responsibility for the decisions that you make.

Remember, the goal here is personal growth. What exactly have you learned if it’s always someone else’s fault?

Before you seriously consider these concepts, however, put your Excuse Hat in the closet and lock the door, because your excuses are what have powered your ability to get to where you presently are in life. If you want things to change, then your excuses need to go away!

All of us living the 3-dimensional existence here on planet Earth have dreams, aspirations, goals, etc., and sometimes we even make a consistent effort to see them realized. However, more often than not, people refuse to consistently do what it takes to effect long-term, positive changes in their lives. As a result, they mindlessly stay on a road that leads nowhere, in a car they don’t even want to be in, surrounded by people they would just as soon leave at the next rest stop.

What EXACTLY are you getting out of that type of situation??

Sure, it’s easy to just sit back and know that you want to lose weight, make more money, or be in better relationships, but why not take a more active role in your own happiness by simply asking yourself: “What am I getting out of the fact that this area of my life isn’t what I want it to be?”

If you’re Fat

If you are, and you’re offended right now, then that should be a huge red flag that you aren’t getting what you want out of your level of health and fitness.

Do you like how it feels to hide your body behind clothes that disguise your curves? Do you like the fact that you see people every single day who have the type of body that you want to have? Do you like the fact that your self esteem and your self confidence take a hit every time you look in the mirror? Do you like the fact that other people have something that you want, but have been unable to attain?

Unless you can answer yes to those types of questions, then what exactly is it that is stopping you from taking the consistent, long-term steps necessary to lose weight? Don’t forget – the excuses are locked in a closet right now.

For most people, that will leave them with nothing to say in their defense, because excuses are all that they have been putting their back against for all of these years.

If you’re Broke

Money might not buy happiness, but it sure does buy plenty of opportunities and freedoms that allow us to do the things that cause happiness in our lives. If you’ve been struggling with finances, what exactly is it that you are enjoying so much about that struggle that causes you to keep doing it?

Do you like never having the money to do the things you want to do? Do you like worrying about whether or not you are going to have enough money to pay your bills? Do you like creditors and bill collectors calling you? Do you like seeing other people with the material goods or experiences that you want to have, yet you can’t have because you’re broke?

Unless you can answer yes to those types of questions, then what is stopping you from cleaning up your finances, and finding abundance in your life? With your excuses firmly locked away in the closet, the only thing you should be thinking right now is: “You’re right! It’s time to finally make changes after all these years!”

If you’re Relationships Stink

You may not feel that it is within your power to magically bring Mr. or Mrs. Right into your life, but you can control whether or not you stay with your present significant other, or whether or not your present relationship includes the experiences that you want to have.

Do you enjoy having someone in your life who doesn’t treat you the way that you want to be treated? Do you enjoy feeling like you are trapped in a relationship that you don’t want to be in? Do you enjoy fantasizing about a person or a relationship that is a far cry from where you are right now? Do you enjoy clocking off the precious, limited amount of hours in your life while having a relationship status that does not bring you joy?

Unless you can answer yes to those types of questions, then why exactly is it that you don’t make the hard decisions or take the appropriate action in order to change your circumstances? With your excuses locked away in the closet, it may very well be time to start taking massive action in order to safeguard your own happiness.

Were the examples that were given blunt, and to the point? You bet they were, because that is exactly what people need to hear! The B.S. politically correct atmosphere that our world is enshrouded in does nothing but help people feel better about the fact that they aren’t willing to do what it takes to improve their lives.

So, what are you going to do now? Will you continue to be fat, broke, or unhappy in your relationships, or will you leave the excuses safely locked away in the closet and start taking control over your life?

People who float through life just going with the flow are the same people who end up being dashed onto the rocks at the bottom of the waterfall, whereas people who are willing to kick, fight, claw, and scratch for what they want are the people whose lives become examples of what dreams are made of.

Life hands us plenty of opportunities to just take the easy way out, and most people do exactly that. Although they know in their heart’s that they want more than they are presently getting out of life, the huge effort that would be required of them to receive the spoils of going against the current is simply beyond their willingness to undertake. They apply a token effort (winging it) rather than a consistent 100% intensity effort (bringing it), and they are rewarded with wonderfully mediocre results.

People who BRING IT, on the other hand, take charge of their lives by giving up the victim mentality. As Joel Osteen is fond of saying, they are vicTOR’s rather than vicTIM’s.

It’s not an easy journey, though, which is precisely why most people don’t do it. Someone who is “bringing it” lays their head on their pillow at the end of the day with the true 100% belief that they did everything in their power to make their dreams a reality that day, and they often have the scars to prove it.

People from the “winging it” group, on the other hand, lay in bed at night wondering if they did the right thing, worrying about their future, lying to themselves about why they backed off on their intensity, why they ate so much junk food that day, or why they let that person push them around.

• People who BRING IT don’t worry about anything. They have truly done everything they can do, so worrying is a complete waste of time.
• People who just wing it constantly wonder what they could have done better, or what they need to do tomorrow to make up for today’s shortcomings.
• People who BRING IT may be scratched, beat up, bruised, or bleeding, but they go to bed knowing that they truly fought their best fight, and they are at peace as a result.
• People who just wing it are masters at coming up with reasons excuses for why they didn’t make an all out effort.
• People who BRING IT live up to their personal integrity every single day, even if it means a lack of security, or if it means taking a risk.
• People who just wing it always take the safe route, and they die just a little bit inside each time they give up what they truly want in order to settle for what they believe they can have.
• People who BRING IT realize that every 60 seconds of their life is another 60 seconds that they can take action towards their goals.
• People who just wing it always have reasons excuses for why they haven’t yet finished a project, or accomplished a goal.
• People who BRING IT understand that their position of power is something that they create internally, and that it has nothing to do with the outside circumstances.
• People who just wing it can always justify their willingness to give up control of their lives with lots of “real world” reasons for why it’s all out of their hands.
• People who BRING IT also KNOW that they are bringing it, and even if they live in a cardboard box, their cardboard box is the best one on the block because it was built with confidence and pride, not lack and despair.
• People who just wing it are well aware of the fact that they are winging it, and no matter how successful or unsuccessful they are, the voice in the back of their mind never stops reminding them that their life isn’t what it could be. They are also quite proficient at ignoring that voice.

There are a lot of people (myself included) who say that life should be full of joy, and that true joy is effortless. When you are truly living your life in alignment with your desires, struggle is not part of the equation. The confusion comes in when people equate the word “effortless” with the word “easy”.

Effortless means that even though you are gasping for air and physically exhausted during a workout, you are 100% confident that you are doing the right thing for your body, and that fills you with joy.

- Easy means that you don’t workout at all, or that you only give a token effort.

Effortless means that even though you have to live on 4 hours of sleep per night while you build a business or finish your education, you are 100% confident that you are doing the right thing for your future.

- Easy means just taking a day job and hoping for the best.

Effortless means that you do everything and anything in your power to make your relationships wonderful by being the best you that you can be, and you are 100% confident that anyone who doesn’t see the value in what you have to offer doesn’t deserve to have you in their life.

- Easy means settling for relationship circumstances that you don’t agree with or enjoy.

Effortless means standing up for what you believe in at work, at church, in your neighborhood, and even in your own home, because you are 100% confident that living up to your personal integrity is more important than living by the status quo.

- Easy means doing what everyone else is doing so you don’t rock the boat.

The difference between “effortless” and “easy” is the same difference between “Bringing It” and “Winging It”. One of those states of mind ensures success, abundance, happiness, and joy, while the other ensures struggle, strife, fear, and uncertainty.

Life gives us back exactly what we put into it. If you want your life to be a Kingdom of Glory, Success, Joy, and Happiness, then act like a King, not like a pauper.

The Twitter CONCEPT, however, might be about to turn into something that people can actually put to some good use, and I am working with Gary Evans from Positivity Space on a project that just might turn into something very, very cool.

In essence, we are considering building an interface that would allow people who were on the road to success to be able to stay in touch with each other as a means of keeping each other accountable, reminding each other about critical success processes, and just generally partnering up for success.

The “new” part of this idea comes in when this entire process is accomplished over short messages, rather than emails, telephone calls, message boards, etc. It will be more like quick wake up calls or reminders, and less like philosophical debates about personal growth and development.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that!

Anyway, I put a write up about what Gary and I are considering over at Personal Development Partners, and we are inviting everyone and anyone who is interested in sharing their thoughts to join in the conversation and let yourself be heard.

If you are a PDP member then you can just click the link to head over there and join the discussion. Non-members can also read the post, and they can either sign up at the site for free in order to participate and share their thoughts, or, just drop your ideas into the comment box below this post.

When Gary first approached me about this, my first thought was I’M SO BUSY!! However, Gary is a great guy with great ideas, and I realized something in that moment of considering how busy I was:

I am ALWAYS busy, and it often causes me to forget to do things that I SHOULD be doing to create the life that I want to be living. The site that Gary and I are proposing would lessen or even eliminate that obstacle.

Definitely worth checking out:

Can you Twitter yourself to Happiness?

The problems start when we fail to recognize the signs that are put before us; the very clues that tell us that we are capable of more than we are presently experiencing. We tend to see these “signs” as problems, and we push against them instead of recognizing them as the glorious gifts of insight that they truly are.

No matter what problems you are facing, there is an opportunity for you to grow as a person, and to create a life where those same problems either don’t exist at all, or they are no longer relevant to you. However, if you see those signs as problems that have to be solved – rather than personal growth opportunities – your entire life will boil down to nothing more monumental than simply reacting to your surroundings.

As this picture indicates, it’s not just which direction that you look, it’s what you see when you look there. Are you looking with jaded eyes that see everything in the worst possible light because of what you have been through in the past, or do you see a learning or growth opportunity in even the most extremely negative circumstances?

Make no mistake – life is not just an exercise in academia, or a chance for hearty philosophical debates about how things SHOULD be. Your life is hurtling before your very eyes right now, and the way that you look at your life is far more important than what you actually see.

• If you don’t like your job, or don’t feel like you are making enough money, that is a not a problem, it’s a personal growth opportunity.

What do you need to learn, or what action do you need to take in order to improve your career status? If you are not happy with your career, yet you stay in your position anyway, what does that say about you, and what can you learn from that, and then take action on?

• If you are having issues with another person – a friend, family member, co-worker, significant other – that is not a problem, it’s a personal growth opportunity.

What can you learn about yourself or that person that will make the issue go away? What steps can you take that will remove this person from your life, or remove their ability to affect your life? If you don’t enjoy another person, yet you continue to allow that negativity into your life, what does that say about you, and what can you learn from that, and then take action on?

• If you are overweight and can’t ever seem to stick to a nutrition or exercise program, that is not a problem, it’s a personal growth opportunity.

What is the true reason why you aren’t sticking to a healthy lifestyle? What skills, habits, or resources do you need to acquire in order to stay on track? If you don’t like being overweight, yet you continue to allow yourself to be that way, what does that say about you, and what can you learn from that, and then take action on?

There are endless examples of this same concept, and you can probably think of a few that apply to your life at this very moment. The formula is very, very simple:

Something you don’t enjoy in life = An opportunity for you to grow out of it

As long as you continue to see yourself as the victim of the circumstances in your life, you will continue to BE the victim. Being a victim is not so much as feeling the effects from any given set of circumstances as it is allowing yourself to BE victimized by those circumstances.

So, are you going to read this, become empowered, and then go right back over into the victim’s corner, or are you going to come running out of there, fists up, ready for action?

The choice, as always – is yours. I hope to see you out in the ring!

I’m not saying that you should just work, work, work, and never have any play time. Balance is the key here, but most people are decidedly OFF balance in their self improvement efforts.

During the week you are constantly on the go with the job, the family, the chores, the commute, etc., and you’ll be lucky to get in a solid hour of self improvement time on any given day. However, when the weekend comes, you then try to pack in all of the stuff that you didn’t get done during the week, plus you want to relax, have fun, and unwind.

Well, the relax, have fun, and unwind part is something that should be a part of every day, not just the weekends, but ask yourself honestly how much time are you dedicating each week to your self improvement efforts?

• How much time did you spend reading this week?
• How many hours did you put in working on your business?
• How much work did you do on your educational goals?
• How many times did you exercise?
• How often did you do your affirmations, or your visualizations?
• How much time did you spend meditating?
• How much one-on-one interacting did you do with people that are part of your success plan?

The list could go on and on, but by now you should be getting the picture. Self improvement requires you to actually improve your life, not to just live it. As you approach an hour, a day, or a weekend when you could work towards your goals, it would be a grand idea for you to do just that.

Sure you can go party like a rock star and have a blast, or you could take a well-deserved siesta from your stressful life, and there are times when that is exactly the thing to do. However, it’s not every time.

Sometimes you need to put away your party hat, or your plans to go paint the town red, and plan instead to spend your down time working on yourself and your future, rather than continually taking those “well-deserved” breaks.

If you are trying to improve your life, it’s not break time. It’s time to get down to business.

This series will be published weekly and will be comprised of links to quality blog posts that have proven to be extraordinary in their ability to assist, inform, or empower the reader.

As you check out these quality links, be sure to help the authors out by adding their posts to Stumbleupon, Digg, or your favorite social networking site. Enjoy!

1) Ramblings from a Glass Half Full - In his post The Key Ingredient to Sustained Success? Calvin Had it Right, Terry Starbucker keeps us “in the know” with the most basic truth of how to succeed!

2) Jordan Cheng’s Success Journal – The post Why Most Successful People Are Renegades is so dead-on with what I’ve been telling my readers for a long time – success does NOT come from doing what everyone else does.

3) Martha Beck Blog – No one is a “slave” to their lives, yet many people act like they are. Martha’s post Do you really HAVE to do anything? includes a great method of finding what you want, and then CHOOSING to do that.

4) Scott H. Young – Awhile ago I wrote this post about when your environment changes, and Scott’s post Self-Improvement Tip: Ride the Wave of Moving Day does a great job of discussing that concept along with some tips on what precisely to do when the time comes for change.

5) How to be an Original – For those of us who use passwords all the time (and who doesn’t these days?), Lodewijk’s post Tweak your passwords to benefit from them lists some truly original ways to not just remember passwords, but to actually put them to good use!

6) Pick the Brain – If you are on the fence about whether action or desire are the keys to getting what you want, why not try both? In the post The Other Side of Productivity: Coincidences, Synchronicity, and Serendipity, check out a good discussion of the concepts.

7) That’s Fit – If you’ve been getting your motivation for health and fitness from magazines or the television, you probably think that you need to be in at least decent shape to get the ball rolling. That is, of course, total rubbish. Read Exercise is not only for the fit for more info.

Blog Carnivals that have recently included posts from Today is that Day:

Very much obliged to ImprovedLife for giving the Top Post award to the Today is that Day post 5 Not so Q.U.I.E.T. Methods of Personal Growth and Development in the Fifth Edition of the Carnival of Improving Life. Thanks a bunch!

Thanks as always to the authors who create content worth sharing, and to the readers who inspire us to do so!

Self-sabotage is not just some cutesy catch-phrase, but rather a state of being that is every bit as real as poverty, obesity, homelessness, and any other world-class problem that you can think of. The human capacity for beating the crap out of our own dreams is, sadly, one of our greatest talents.

Don’t despair, however, because there is an easy way to get the ball rolling back in your direction, and it starts with 3 simple things to consider whenever you are faced with any lifestyle challenge, or even just a momentary challenge that you are trying to get through.

Focus on what you WANT, not on how you are going to get it

When it comes to getting what we want, our attention immediately go to HOW we are going to get it, and immediately on the heels of that comes our belief (or lack thereof) in whatever methods we came up with.

If you wanted to cross the street, you would know that you just had to look for cars, then put one foot in front of the other, and you would believe 100% in your ability to to do that. However, when we want something more complicated, our belief in our ability to get it runs in direct proportion to our belief in whatever method we come up with.

Here’s a clue: You don’t know everything!

Just because you came up with some “master plan” for attaining your desires does not mean that your plan is going to come to fruition. You could attain what you want by your plan working out, or, you could get what you want through some other method that you could not possibly have foreseen.

Coming up with a plan is awesome, and you should plan to your little heart’s content. However, you must also be open to attaining whatever it is that you want through means other than the means that you came up with. If you fail to do that, you will be a slave to your own plan, and if your plan doesn’t work out, then your belief in your ability to get what you want will disappear instantly.

Once the belief is gone, the chance of getting something is gone just as instantly.

Get out of your own way by coming up with a great plan, and working diligently on that plan, but at the same time remaining open to your desires coming at you from a direction that you never even considered.

Mentally prepare for the worst-case scenario

Directly on the heels of our ability to get something being based on our belief that we’ll get it comes our attachment to having it. Whether you want world peace, or if you just want to get a decent cup of coffee, you want whatever it is that you want for some reason.

Whatever that reason is, you want it because you want it, and you are attached to getting it. You feel that you will not be happy – over the long-term or the short-term – unless you get whatever it is that you want.

Here’s another clue: Your happiness is NOT dependent on you attaining that one desire!

No matter what it is that you want, unless your very survival depends on you getting it, your life will continue even if you don’t end up with it. You may not have world peace or that award-winning cup of coffee, but your days will continue to clock away just the same. In the end you’ll find that you getting what you wanted was not the “end all, be all” to you attaining happiness.

Get out of your own way by mentally planning for the worst-case scenario. What would happen if world peace never came about? What would your life be like if you didn’t get that cup of coffee? Once you have answered those questions, embrace the fact that there is a real possibility that you won’t get what you want, and then come to terms with it.

By releasing your attachment to getting whatever it is that you want, you also release your need to find a rock-sold, fail-proof plan to attain it (see above). Put simply: Hope for the best, but be prepared for the worst.

Have a back up plan

What if your worst-case scenario actually happened? What if world peace went the way of the dinosaur (doesn’t something have to exist before it becomes extinct?), and what if your perfect cup of coffee never got brewed?

What would you DO?

In the step above, when you mentally prepared for the worst-case scenario, you helped yourself to release your attachment to getting what you want. However, the critical next step is to actually PLAN for a life that doesn’t include getting what you wanted. By doing this step, you further release your attachment to getting your desire, and you also increase your belief that you will be happy even if you don’t get it.

Sure, most people want world peace or a good cup of coffee, but let’s not fool ourselves – there has to be an existence that we can be happy with even if those things never happen right?

Maybe we turn inwards for peace, or the wars of today are the building blocks of an incredibly wonderful future.

Maybe we decide that coffee isn’t all its cracked up to be, and we develop a real appreciation for water, and its many health benefits.

Get out of your own way by planning for the life that does NOT include you attaining your desires. Call it your “back up life” if that helps you to feel like you aren’t giving up on your dreams. Practice this concept by thinking in terms of some real-world examples:

• What if you don’t get that job? What will you do?
• What if your business fails? What happens then?
• What if your girlfriend dumps you? What will you do?
• What if you can’t become a super-model with P90X? What’s next?
• What if your boss really DOES hate you? What’s the next step?

None of these examples are meant to insinuate that you should just give up – far from it! Rather, the goal here is to encourage you to plan for your goals, work toward your goals, and be happy when visualizing your goals. However, by releasing your attachment to actually attaining your goals, you will remove the biggest roadblock that you have to getting them – YOU!

Oh sure, most people make a “token” effort at improving their lives, yet how many people can honestly say that they gave it everything they had before they gave up and moved on to something else?

Our lives are replete with opportunities for us to “rise above,” and to excel in every conceivable manner, yet a lack of immediate gratification tends to knock us flat long before we ever even get up a full head of steam. We never even get the chance to quit trying to attain something because we never completely engaged in the process of making it happen to begin with!

Think about any area of your life where you are wanting to make improvements, and then think about how much of a true effort you are making in that regard. Give no thought to phrases such as “doing the best I can,” or “doing what I can with what I’ve got”. Release your reliance on phrases or concepts like those, as they only serve to give yourself permission to fail based on any given set of circumstance. Think more along the lines of what if your life actually depended on you being successful? Are you trying that hard? Honestly?

What’s your relationship status?

If you aren’t 100% happy with your relationship status, can you honestly say that you have tried every single thing in your arsenal?

• If you’re single, do you act in every way like the type of person that you want to have in your life, or do you wish for that “dream mate,” yet not consistently act in a manner that your dream mate would be attracted to?
• Do you go out of your way on a consistent basis to meet new people, or do you sit around at home thinking that you’ll magically come across that special someone?
• Do you have a winning, confident attitude that will naturally attract prospective mates to you, or do you sit around wallowing in your loneliness?

Even if you have been taking appropriate action in each of those areas, have you been doing so for the entire span of time that you’ve been looking for a new mate, or have you just acted in those ways when it was convenient for you?

• If you’re married or involved in a relationship that needs improvement, do you work on improving that relationship every single day, or do you think that the relationship will just heal itself?
• Do you go out of your way to do the things that will make your significant other happy, even without them doing things for you first?
• Are the needs of your significant other something that you tend to frequently, even if they don’t at first reciprocate those efforts?

Although it is possible that your present relationship will not work out even if you do all of those things, until you make a consistent effort to try, you’ll never know for sure what could have been.

What is your health status?

Are you one of those people who is constantly trying to lose weight or improve your health in some way, yet you keep not achieving your goals? There are very few health and fitness related improvements that can’t be achieved when you truly make a consistent effort, so why is it that you can’t ever seem to get there?

• Do you consistently follow the basic nutritional guidelines that we all know lead to good health, or do you eat in a manner that you know is not going to effectively get you to your goals?
• Is an effective exercise program part of your daily lifestyle, or do you let work, family, or personal obligations keep you from regularly working out?
• Do you seek out the knowledge that you need in order to power a long-term health and fitness plan, or do you hide behind your lack of understanding as an excuse?

In each of those examples, there are ways to succeed, and ways to fail, yet you can’t “quit” the health and fitness scene because it “didn’t work” unless you first make an honest and long-term effort to achieve success in that arena.

What is your financial status?

If you dream of financial freedom or comfort, it will require an on-going effort on your part to provide some sort of value that other people are willing to pay for. What value is it that you are providing that is supposed to ensure your financial abundance?

• If you work for yourself, do you make a daily effort to provide the best possible experience for your customers, including long-term relationship building, or do you just go after quick sales?
• Do you have systems in place for creating new or improved products and services, or do you sit around wondering why you don’t have enough customers?
• If you want to start a business, do you consistently learn about and study business models and opportunities, or do you maintain your status as an underpaid employee because you lack the knowledge to do your own thing?
• If you work for someone else, and you enjoy doing so, are you making continuing efforts to provide more value to your employer, or are you just waiting for your next raise?
• Do you have a long-term plan with that company that includes specific goals, or are you simply doing your job every day, and hoping for the best?

Regardless of what your financial or employment status is right now, there is some way that you can improve those circumstances. However, unless you consistently try to improve, no one else is going to do it for you.

All of the examples given above are meant to illustrate the exact same concept: If you don’t honestly try to improve, and if you don’t make those efforts consistently, and over the long-term, you never really tried at all.

You have nothing to “quit” because the effort needed for you to succeed was never put in place to begin with.

Fear is elusive, however, and is often disguised as something a bit less debilitating, which is why it is not always seen as the true culprit behind so many of our shortcomings.

I am not talking about fear as in being afraid for your life itself,but rather fear that any given situation is not going to turn out the way that we want it to.

Whenever we get into an argument with our spouse or other family member, it is because we are afraid that the situation is not going to be resolved the way we feel that it should be.

• Maybe we are afraid that the other person will not see our point of view, and will then make the wrong choices because they were unable to understand what we were saying.
• Maybe we are afraid that the person will not see us as a valuable and needed part of their lives, and will then leave us behind.
• Maybe we are afraid that we will hurt their feelings or damage their ability to get through life, so we tip-toe around our true beliefs and desires in order to better serve their needs.

Let’s look at another example – our careers.

• Many people go to college or some sort of vocational school because they are afraid that without “formal” education, they will not be able to get a good job.
• When someone is already working for a particular employer, they are sometimes not 100% satisfied with their job or that employer, but they stay there anyway because they are afraid that they will not be able to find a better job that pays the same, or that has the same benefits as their present job.
• We often put up with behavior or negative attitudes from our co-workers because we fear that “rocking the boat” at work will cause us to get fired, lose the respect of our co-workers, or that no one will like us.

What about health and fitness? Is that driven by fear as well?

• People get involved in fitness programs every day because they get bad news from their doctor, and they become afraid that their actual life expectancy will be limited if they do not start exercising and eating right.
• People start trying to lose weight because they become afraid that they will not be able to find an attractive and successful companion unless they look like one of the actors or models that are all over television, movies, and magazines.
• Weight loss programs are started all the time by people who are about to attend a family or class reunion because they are afraid they will be looked down upon by their family members or old classmates unless they appear to be fit, confident, and in control of their lives.

These examples could go on and on and on to encompass every single aspect of the human existence here on planet earth. However, you do not need to read endless examples to see the affect that fear has on your own life every single day.

Simply start examining any given situation that you are feeling anxious or nervous about, and ask yourself what it is that you are afraid of in that situation.

You will find across the board that there is always a resounding reason why you feel anxious about everything from where to find a parking space to whether or not to accept a marriage proposal, or a job offer.

Your fear that something bad will happen if you make the wrong decision is what is driving the thought process for pretty much every decision that you ever make.

Do you really think it is a very good idea to make every decision that you make in your life based on a negative emotion such as fear?

The answer, of course, is No, and you can start eliminating fear from your life right now. All you have to do is realize the simple fact that whatever it is that you are afraid of is going to happen anyway, whether you are afraid of it or not.

In fact, believers in concepts such as the Law of Attraction will recognize that by expressing fear about something, you will only serve to cause the thing that you are afraid of to actually happen.

However, whether or not you believe in your ability to consciously create your life, it is a rock-solid fact that if you express fear about something, no good will come about as a result of that.

Should you respect things that could potentially cause negative circumstances to manifest in your life? Absolutely.

Should you prepare for things in order to minimize the chance that you will not be happy with the results of any given situation? Sure.

However, being afraid that life in general is not going to go your way will only serve to make you ACT from a position of fear. That will very often have implications for your life that are at least as negative as – if not more so – than what would have happened if you had never expressed that fear in the first place.

Remember the following very wise quote:

“Anything that doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger.”

Unless you are in a situation where your life is in actual danger, always ask yourself if being afraid at that moment is even worth it.