Watching Personal Growth through the Bus Window

When you were a kid, did you ever sit around thinking about what you wanted to be when you grew up? I'm not talking about standard answers such as wanting to be a fireman or a ballerina, but a true burning desire that was insatiably strong, even when you were too young to know what it was all about.

Although I had a few ideas when I was younger (astronaut, pilot in the Air Force, etc.), there were no career choices for me that were so desirous that I just couldn't stop thinking about them. However, there was one thing that I remember consistently thinking almost every day when I was taking the bus to school:

"I want off this bus!"

It wasn't that I didn't like school, because for the most part, I did. It wasn't because I didn't do well in school, because from 1st grade on I could pull top marks whenever I truly applied myself.

No, it wasn't the educational institution or the social aspects of going to school that I had a problem with. It was the bus ride!

I would sit on the bus (usually alone – I had very little patience for bus rowdiness) and look out the window at all of the grown-ups and young adults who were out walking, jogging, riding bikes, or driving their cars as they went about their morning routines. I stared out at those people and thought about how free they all were!

Here was a lady walking her dog down the sidewalk, seemingly with nowhere to be, and all day to get there.

Over there was someone all alone getting some early morning exercise in an environment that didn't require "picking teams," or deciding if your side of the court in dodge ball was "shirts" or "skins".

Right next to the bus were 2 or 3 cars piloted by adults who (to my young knowledge) were free to go along their merry way to work, or to just stop off at a local restaurant for a leisurely breakfast, then continue on to do something that had to be more enjoyable than the regimented structure of a standard school day.

All of these people shared a common trait that was still years into my future, yet separated by nothing but a half inch pane of glass:

They were FREE!

Oh, I had no doubts that each of them had their own trials and tribulations to deal with. Yet right now, at the start of this beautiful day, as 30-plus kids were being transported on the prison barge, those people had a freedom that was not available to the bus inhabitants, myself included. We sat there in our ugly green vinyl seats, looking out through glass that was cold on the forehead that was pressed against it, and we were trapped.

I couldn't stand it then, and I still can't stand it now. I'm the kind of person that won't go to a party with my friends unless I know that I can leave whenever I want to.

I'm the kind of person who schedules things out in extreme detail in order to make sure that there will be no chance of my freedom being taken away by some unexpected hiccup in the daily routine.

I'm the kind of person who tends to keep a backup plan in my pocket, and another one in the other pocket, just in case.

I value Freedom above all else, and even my lofty financial goals are simply a means to safeguard and realize the joy of Freedom, rather than a way to get a bunch of expensive toys.

So, just this morning as I was jogging around my neighborhood doing my standard 60 minutes of early morning cardio, guess what I saw?

You know where this is going, don't you??

Yep – a big ol' prison barge school bus full of unwilling passengers who would all probably rather have been home, still in bed. 

And I smiled. Oh, how I smiled! I was 50 minutes into my run, very sweaty, very tired, very much looking forward to the finish line and some breakfast, and when I saw that bus and got hit over the head with the realization of the situation, I suddenly couldn't stop grinning.

Here I was trudging along doing the right thing for the accomplishment of my health goals; I'm hot, hungry, sweaty, and thirsty, and I'm thinking about how much I can't wait to see the finish line, and then I see this bus and it hits me:

"I'm on the other side of the glass." 

20-25 years after being the boy in the picture above, it hit me like a ton of bricks that I was doing what I was doing at that moment (tired, hungry, thirsty, etc.) because I chose to be doing it.

No one forced me to get up and go jogging. In fact, no one has forced me to do anything for a very long time. My life is what it is from a day to day, month to month, and year to year basis because I have created it to be that way.

I have no parents who are in charge of my life from day to day. My family influences my life to the extent that I wish for them to. I have no boss (other than myself). Even my own children, although still young, have already proven that they hardly need my moment to moment assistance to get through life.

In short, I run past buses with the same status that I work, eat, sleep, and play. My status is what it is because I am on the other side of the glass, and I have literally become the freedom that I saw for so many years as I looked out that bus window.

I don't just have freedom, I live freedom.

Will the accomplishment of my personal and financial goals allow me to deepen the strength and breadth of that freedom? Absolutely, and you can bet I spend many hours each day working towards making that happen.

However, in the meantime, I can run past as many school buses as I want to, and I'm pretty damn happy about that.

What about you? Which side of the glass is your life on?

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